->>>遊戲也講求職涯規劃的,肉盾爆炸頭,窩們回不企惹~AWA
【凌家動物園III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來
By 喵芭渴死姬
839Please respect copyright.PENANAfQynFqamEM
3. 選擇職業要謹慎
839Please respect copyright.PENANAnCaTxi89fV
所謂的虛擬實境遊戲,是由遊戲盔的特殊波長影響腦波造成五感上的錯覺,再搭配頭盔內建的顯像與聲音播放裝置,讓玩家達到身歷其境的感受,並將讀取到的腦波指令傳回遊戲,使玩家在遊戲裡做出相對的反應。簡單來說,這是一場以腦波來互動的網路遊戲,因此玩家本人必須保持清醒狀態,即使角色處於昏迷狀態也一樣。839Please respect copyright.PENANAY4ztYrd7pw
839Please respect copyright.PENANAk9Y8kyYhAq
「……」839Please respect copyright.PENANAoNq3sMJSIy
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被唬爛扛在肩上晃的肉盾,此刻眼前是一片黑暗,除了系統指令介面外,什麼都看不到。倘若這路途像先前不斷有怪暴走打混戰,倒還能增加些刺激度,儘管他大概只有被甩來拋去的份。可惜,他們一路走來風平浪靜得很,這讓一向都坐不住的他越發無聊了,只好叫出虛擬鍵盤,企圖用打字來騷擾美人,誰知道……839Please respect copyright.PENANAnPe9OIoUHM
839Please respect copyright.PENANAp9bOubmPSb
『系統提示:您此刻是假死狀態,無法與任何玩家聯繫,請待時效過後再嘗試。』839Please respect copyright.PENANA55ETGRFcXB
839Please respect copyright.PENANA4Q6SAeMlPj
什麼?!要這樣啥也不能做的兩個小時,不是要憋死哥了嗎?嗚嗚,美人你好狠啊!839Please respect copyright.PENANAALlDPe7iTy
839Please respect copyright.PENANAEfF10qDJLl
幸好腿長的人就是走得快,原本矮人地圖上顯示要走一小時的路程,唬爛只花四十分鐘就到了,彷彿背上的巨劍跟矮人死屍對她毫無影響。839Please respect copyright.PENANAlugAGDXVgR
839Please respect copyright.PENANADDUgjnZKLZ
「好啦!馬賽克到了,你醒來往前走就是轉職登記處,老娘先下線睡囉。」839Please respect copyright.PENANAexUn6KNuar
839Please respect copyright.PENANAkku6E9Zc37
肉盾感覺自己被隨手一扔後,隊伍名單上的偏向唬爛行就隨即消失,隊伍也解散了。他默默盯著視野中央那排倒數計時,居然還有一個多小時,哥苦啊!839Please respect copyright.PENANAgV27o6ekcd
839Please respect copyright.PENANAhuhy2zibRN
遊戲裡一個小時等同現實裡的十五分鐘,他心想不如下線等時效過,便按下登出鍵,卻見一個警告視窗跳了出來——『由於您的假死狀態尚未結束,時間將在您重登遊戲後繼續累計,請問您確定要在這時登出嗎?』839Please respect copyright.PENANAuKuQYNTVgW
839Please respect copyright.PENANAWpsG1eaLys
Oh my God!這也太機車了吧?!大受打擊的肉盾,心中委屈難平加上閒著也是無聊,就乾脆在心裡碎碎念地腹誹起系統來,於是乎,一排金黃色粗體字的密語就閃亮亮地傳了過來——839Please respect copyright.PENANAaMlmoqNiRz
839Please respect copyright.PENANAsZvhaU89WK
『【私密】系統對您悄悄說:顆顆!咬我啊~AWA (By 系統負責人)』839Please respect copyright.PENANA6bwlu917w8
839Please respect copyright.PENANABjLQO1OEm3
「……」839Please respect copyright.PENANA8N4PrmeRxd
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正當他暗自傷神之際,一陣急促的鈴聲忽然響起,系統提示音也隨之傳來,「您的手機有來電,請下線接聽。」839Please respect copyright.PENANArXJ2vFXJTW
839Please respect copyright.PENANAnBpSA9r88K
由於遊戲裡的觀感過於真實,有與外界視聽混淆之可能,官方就設計了《奧普斯專用APP》,只要利用APP連上遊戲盔的感應接收器後,玩家就能於遊戲中收到手機來電的通知,以避免錯過重要訊息。839Please respect copyright.PENANAhBtYbh8So5
839Please respect copyright.PENANAOpUIx9LFau
艾登連忙登出遊戲,拿起手機一看,竟是幾天都沒在遊戲中理過他的泰特斯,就大喜過望地接起來,「泰!你終於要跟我一起玩了嗎?」839Please respect copyright.PENANAxvbdZCZsal
839Please respect copyright.PENANAul6hWEm2cR
「星期一下午三點開會,你去。」839Please respect copyright.PENANADVrU8OZ8Mn
839Please respect copyright.PENANA9dJNXzuFpT
冰冷平板的答覆直接了當地敲碎美夢,顯然人家打來只是交代工作而已,於是艾登就哭哭不依了,「怎麼又是我?泰你要幹嘛啊?」839Please respect copyright.PENANAGxWYtc4A3R
839Please respect copyright.PENANA04t5yMgVgY
「上線。」泰特斯說完就切斷電話,果斷拒絕給他任何發言的機會。倘若有不知情的人聽到,恐會以為這位大總裁沈迷遊戲不顧正業還苛待員工,然而,實際上卻是截然相反。839Please respect copyright.PENANAVCJtW3jQzR
839Please respect copyright.PENANAtRvwNpqOev
身為重度弟控的泰特斯,為了能每天陪遠在法國讀書的貝兒聊天,又配合貝兒的學習規劃與時差,他平常日只能選在下午三點上線與貝兒小聚,兩個小時後,貝兒下線睡覺,他就重新埋首工作直到深夜。因此,這位心中只有弟弟的哥哥大人,每天除了開這兩小時的小差外,其餘時間就是個不折不扣的工作狂。而艾登身為左右手,自然就得代這兩小時的班,反正他除了被特別交代的工作外,其餘時間都在開小差。839Please respect copyright.PENANABqRkj2A415
839Please respect copyright.PENANA7VHCRs8toy
艾登無言地抓了抓頭,明白這差使他是賴不掉,卻也不甘這兩兄弟連好不容易到了有共同上線時間的週末都離棄他,偏偏泰特斯又不好講話,於是他只好轉向另一個人了。839Please respect copyright.PENANAbDSpGXtQSC
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「小・貝・兒~」839Please respect copyright.PENANA0mYQOk7m8y
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「……」839Please respect copyright.PENANAGAGCEqGYmn
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正所謂柿子要挑軟的吃,可愛嬌嫩的貝兒是泰特斯的軟肋,自然就成了艾登瘋狂騷擾的對象了。839Please respect copyright.PENANAzCbI7dVsAr
839Please respect copyright.PENANARyk4KtWg33
「陪我玩陪我玩陪我玩陪我玩嘛~你們都不陪我玩,哥好苦命你知道嗎?接到奇怪的任務,還有奇怪的武器,搞得哥每天都被人恥笑,嗚嗚嗚,現在又被陷害喝了什麼假死藥水,只能躺著啥都不能做,好無聊啊,你哥又好過份,叫我幫他開會,自己卻跑去跟你玩,都不理我,還有……」艾登說得一把鼻涕一把眼淚,從來都沒關過的話匣子更是一發不可收拾,聽得手機那頭的人連翻好幾個白眼。839Please respect copyright.PENANA2M2XK71mOV
839Please respect copyright.PENANAPDGCRmUnLk
「停停停!你剛說什麼……假死藥水?有這東西呀?」839Please respect copyright.PENANA3Qdb7t95KQ
839Please respect copyright.PENANAvAk0LrD645
「對啊!超神奇的!」聽出貝兒口中的好奇,艾登連忙抓住機會,將喝下藥水後的反應仔仔細細說了一遍,期望能引誘對方來馬賽克找他一探究竟,而結果也確實如他所願了,不過……839Please respect copyright.PENANAUDtIbq55iT
839Please respect copyright.PENANAWZrr3eYgyE
「嘿嘿!」喵喵仙貝蹲在地上,伸指戳了戳呈大字形昏迷的人,證實肉盾真無一點反應後,便發出令人頭皮發麻的賊笑聲,蓬鬆的貓尾也興奮地晃來晃去。839Please respect copyright.PENANAOpKhbPczHD
839Please respect copyright.PENANAIvgQWX5OGQ
糟了!哥該不是引火自焚了吧?從小調皮搗蛋的貝兒,會被人叫紫毛小魔怪可不是叫假的!這才意識到錯誤的肉盾不禁冷汗涔涔,只能既期待又害怕受傷害地祈禱小貝兒手下留情。839Please respect copyright.PENANA4MelxCXntp
839Please respect copyright.PENANAKiR70daXrE
寵弟的泰迪熊餅乾(往後簡稱泰迪熊)一眼就瞧出那賊笑下的鬼靈精,自是什麼都依了,「寶貝兒想玩什麼?」839Please respect copyright.PENANAcaaHfghnW6
839Please respect copyright.PENANAKIkpMwefxZ
泰啊!身為兄長,你怎能放任小貝兒胡來呢?哎?話說回來,泰對小貝兒的稱呼怎麼變成寶貝兒了?難道弟控症又惡化了嗎?這可不行啊!對弟弟就叫得這麼肉麻了,那以後要對老婆叫什麼呀?839Please respect copyright.PENANAClIkS0YKlS
839Please respect copyright.PENANAAChpuu7Oc0
「玩那個!玩那個!」聽不到躺屍者心聲的兩兄弟,當然沒在擔心稱謂問題。滿腦子只想惡作劇的喵喵仙貝,巴眨著一雙大眼又蹦又跳,邊在包裡掏來掏去,「昨天不是有NPC送我們什麼粉嗎?」839Please respect copyright.PENANAcfTflFMAEV
839Please respect copyright.PENANAkGx4SUc0ME
「變身魔法粉?」泰迪熊失笑地手一撈,就摸出一大罐裝滿七彩粉末的藥瓶。這道具是他們一起玩特殊隱藏遊戲贏來的神秘獎勵,經鑑定術鑑定後,道具面板上顯示此魔法粉會使受害者隨機變成某生物,卻沒說明會維持多久或有何附加效果,所以他們到目前為止都還沒嘗試過。839Please respect copyright.PENANAuf5ubqIORW
839Please respect copyright.PENANAjTqAvpx3xl
「對啦對啦!」喵喵仙貝取過藥瓶,就看向地上的躺屍壞笑,「反正豬頭登都假死了,也不能再糟到哪去,我們不如就來實驗一下吧。」839Please respect copyright.PENANAz30foOAstL
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等等啊!小貝兒,活體實驗是犯法的啊!泰快阻止你弟!839Please respect copyright.PENANAswxZATnyTm
839Please respect copyright.PENANABMr4U6Rb9b
「好主意,寶貝兒真聰明。」事實又一次證明,某兄長的弟控症已藥石罔效。839Please respect copyright.PENANAPS0SlhQdCk
839Please respect copyright.PENANAh1eF3pl2Vg
「喔耶!」喵喵仙貝興奮地倒出一小搓粉往肉盾灑去,嘴裡還有模有樣地唸著咒語,下一秒,肉盾就碰地變成一隻仰天呼呼大睡的粉紅豬。839Please respect copyright.PENANARRuZ4lpSB9
839Please respect copyright.PENANAYulIu043Hf
「噗哈哈哈!真的變豬豬啦!」始作俑喵笑得樂不可支,弟控哥哥則滿懷柔情地摟著他東捏捏西揉揉,那寵溺十足的勁,終於閃得系統被又受不了地降下粉紅愛心雨——839Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7c0smxOi6
839Please respect copyright.PENANAfcBLvy20og
「叮!玩家泰迪熊餅乾助愛妻喵喵仙貝完成實驗,夫妻同心協力默契十足,兩人獲得恩愛放閃度+120,目前夫妻等級為31級,請再接再厲閃瞎更多人唷~♥」839Please respect copyright.PENANAYx1yetj6Jj
839Please respect copyright.PENANA61mwOIu9LN
「唔……」被如此大喇喇地宣告出來,某隻傲嬌小喵當場就害羞了,只好再把粉末一灑,粉紅豬就變成四肢朝天的草泥馬,「哈哈哈哈哈!豬頭升級成神獸啦!」839Please respect copyright.PENANAb4yBqHgKyI
839Please respect copyright.PENANAqu98fdubYs
完全看不到現況的肉盾,眼神已死地瞪著兩排倒數計時:假死狀態、變身狀態,不論哪個狀態,都漫長得令人心碎。於是,他只能默默流下不輕彈的男兒淚,哥的命啊……對了,剛系統好像說了什麼嗎?839Please respect copyright.PENANAkaIli0UWtF
839Please respect copyright.PENANAo1LLAqstWU
變身魔法的實驗不斷進行,神獸化的肉盾一路從草泥馬變成包尿布的小飛象、鼓著肚皮的倉鼠、穿著垮褲的豺狼、噘著屁股的鴨子,最後變成……839Please respect copyright.PENANAodOENR9weE
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「呀啊啊啊!小強啊啊啊啊啊——」沒想到會變出自己最怕的東西,還是巨大化品種,喵喵仙貝立馬被嚇得噴哭尖叫,人也變回小奶貓跳進哥哥懷裡瑟瑟發抖。839Please respect copyright.PENANAOaEMDQTRTU
839Please respect copyright.PENANAPVV6Dq2FH8
啊哈!小調皮鬼遭到報應了吧!肉盾正洋洋得意之際,忽感一道殺氣伴隨強烈風勢襲來,腹部遭到啪一聲重擊打得他差點嘔出東西後,所有狀態計數全部消失,取而代之的是一個系統視窗跳了出來——839Please respect copyright.PENANAS2uKZfyVYF
839Please respect copyright.PENANAMgfDYWnrcw
『您已被玩家泰迪熊餅乾殺死,請問是否回達布史城復活池重生?』839Please respect copyright.PENANAVRNVLkbsIr
839Please respect copyright.PENANAr8tsqvDYt9
重……生?喔不!哥還沒在馬賽克的傳送陣踩點啊!難不成得重跑一遍了嗎?嗚嗚嗚……正努力發揮阿Q精神,幻想達布史城的人看到一隻大蟑螂出現在復活池會是什麼反應時,肉盾就見到另一個視窗跳了出來——839Please respect copyright.PENANAfsyFnE3QU1
839Please respect copyright.PENANAfRi9tdPPEC
『玩家泰迪熊餅乾對您使出《復活術》,請問是否接受?』839Please respect copyright.PENANAkza2RqskH9
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喔耶!信泰得永生!839Please respect copyright.PENANAeIVg4NEkz0
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肉盾毫不猶豫地按下《是》,柔和的白光便於眼前閃過,充滿能量的暖流頓時遊走體內,而他的世界也終於重見光明了。839Please respect copyright.PENANALc85lyMfjr
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
839Please respect copyright.PENANAcqPM6CFRME
在泰迪熊的帶領下,肉盾來到傳說中的職業登記處。原以為因身為機密要地而被打上馬賽克的城市,其所安插的NPC應當不是稀世珍貴的絕種族群,就是充滿神秘氣息的黑袍人,或是身穿軍服個個面癱的生化機器人等,然而,此刻站在他們眼前的,竟是一個不斷扭動四肢、臉上只寫著GY二字的人形生物。839Please respect copyright.PENANALq37mR6YEm
839Please respect copyright.PENANA7OyBGBjrgw
「呃……」肉盾眨了眨眼又想揉揉眼,卻一拳撞上眼鏡,便囧囧看向身旁的老友,「這就是職業登記官?」839Please respect copyright.PENANAtsEJ62qhUi
839Please respect copyright.PENANAvvnll7llh8
泰迪熊仍癱著臉不作答,倒是被他捧在懷裡的白色小奶貓蹭了蹭臉後,就張著又大又圓的喵咪眼點頭說:「喵呀~」839Please respect copyright.PENANAN6lY5IuefL
839Please respect copyright.PENANAogeUjSUi7g
喔!小貝兒啊,不可以這麼會賣萌啊,哥會受不了的!肉盾摀著激昂起伏的胸口,忍住在泰魔神面前搶抱小喵貝的衝動,將視線轉回扭扭人NPC身上,仔細注視了好幾秒後,就踮起腳拍了拍對方的肩膀,相當認真地讚賞:「兄弟!你這探戈的節奏練得真精準!」839Please respect copyright.PENANANEtRulEDkh
839Please respect copyright.PENANAlZJbGkzhHp
「噗哧!」後面排隊的玩家紛紛噴笑出聲,正要說他神吐槽時,美妙的系統語音就響起了——839Please respect copyright.PENANAf82rnACpe8
839Please respect copyright.PENANAcy9BpS1vPb
「叮!恭喜玩家肉盾阿弗羅一眼看出NPC《GY星人》在秘密練習的舞蹈,獲得稱號《懂GY的人》、戳破盲腸度+80、特殊裝備《宅宅眼鏡》升級成《宅宅眼鏡+1》。」839Please respect copyright.PENANA18Dq22PGdU
839Please respect copyright.PENANAF3gTJXRKhR
「叮!NPC《GY星人》喜遇知己,對玩家肉盾阿弗羅的好感度+100,兩人成為《好碰友關係》,玩家肉盾阿弗羅可免除轉職任務與手續費,填寫職業選擇表單後即可完成轉職手續。」839Please respect copyright.PENANAUxkWVYx9dm
839Please respect copyright.PENANAwQr5h8fQvY
「……」眾人無語抽臉皮了,泥馬的說說看有誰這樣練探戈啦?839Please respect copyright.PENANAPLIIUTYC2m
839Please respect copyright.PENANA0cUawXmwtP
原來這眼鏡可以升級啊!嘖,哥又帥了!已習慣與NPC友好的肉盾得意地撥了把Q瀏海,仰起的反光鏡片在升級後更加閃閃動人,惹得GY星人不禁飄出一顆粉色愛心,嬌羞地扭著手臂遞出一張牛皮紙。839Please respect copyright.PENANAPhXr0kBHhH
839Please respect copyright.PENANAp6H4g8mqi3
「叮!」系統音再次響起,眼前跳出系統面板——『請問要進行轉職嗎?《好想要!》/《不要嘛~♥》』839Please respect copyright.PENANA0z6odtb023
839Please respect copyright.PENANAlUtYoWtUUA
後面那個選項是怎麼回事?正所謂好奇心殺死一隻貓,讓他實在好想好想……839Please respect copyright.PENANAiPkW1R6q9M
839Please respect copyright.PENANAXqlIunBybw
於是,又一聲「叮!」響起,系統語音發話:「別傲嬌了,快選擇職業吧。」839Please respect copyright.PENANAW3xstoeU38
839Please respect copyright.PENANAyP7s84VGKd
「……」839Please respect copyright.PENANAkBbqspU9hU
839Please respect copyright.PENANATl8JFCOzHI
「噗喵!」喵喵仙貝伸出小肉球摀住嘴,憋笑得小小貓身抖啊抖,好似自己當初絕對沒有也偷按過傲嬌選項。839Please respect copyright.PENANAY637OejASs
839Please respect copyright.PENANA9vTJk7Tgk0
在正宗小傲嬌面前被稱傲嬌,真是哥一生的恥辱啊!肉盾內心滴血地拉下面板捲軸,一眼就瞧見他肖想已久的職業,便毫不猶豫地按了下去,手中的表單也瞬間化成光束消失。839Please respect copyright.PENANAebD3425FAf
839Please respect copyright.PENANAESYzgR7KDy
「叮!恭喜玩家肉盾阿弗羅成功轉職為《騎士》,自動習得以下騎士技能……」839Please respect copyright.PENANAWeHG8xG15j
839Please respect copyright.PENANA9Nb69hsNDT
「喵咦?豬頭登要當騎士喵?」喵喵仙貝驚疑地張開小喵嘴,配上兩顆圓滾滾的大喵眼,再次萌得眾人心花亂顫,連系統都忍不住又小小叮一聲給他加了萌物指數。839Please respect copyright.PENANAWWetjYKeBa
839Please respect copyright.PENANAVfjftn3Oew
「對啊!要把妹,怎能不當騎士呢?」肉盾一點也沒發現問題的癥結,逕自得意地抬起那顆貌似花椰菜的爆炸頭。839Please respect copyright.PENANA9Hw4ugT7Oh
839Please respect copyright.PENANAX4rlStIOqJ
「可是矮人做騎士……」喵喵仙貝疑惑地偏了頭,繼續戳破盲腸,「不會一下就被Boss打扁了喵?」839Please respect copyright.PENANAc8mDtg1YKC
839Please respect copyright.PENANARZYvfD17IF
「……」839Please respect copyright.PENANAuRuDlsz18p
839Please respect copyright.PENANAQ00yT7eSun
「而且這麼矮,到時系統要發馬給騎士時,會不會爬不上去啊喵?」839Please respect copyright.PENANAxiRlSaynVK
839Please respect copyright.PENANAnegYwHzfcW
「……」839Please respect copyright.PENANAvyXOci0ltv
839Please respect copyright.PENANAuAWc4mHums
Oh shit!都忘了哥現在是矮人啊!系統給不給重選啊?GM救命喔喔喔!839Please respect copyright.PENANA69rE9w95aA
839Please respect copyright.PENANApIob19frnC
「您好,我是GM74748。關於您的問題,很抱歉,由於系統負責人罷課太多次,必須重修《職業跳槽學分》,因此尚無法開放此功能。」839Please respect copyright.PENANA20tSlhj9U6
839Please respect copyright.PENANAiNVcLWgFpc
又、又罷課?系統你認真點行不行啊?嗚嗚嗚!千金難買早知道,肉盾抱著GY星人扭啊扭的大腿痛哭流涕,卻也喚不回被他「蠢」完的轉職機會。於是乎,奧普斯第一位花椰菜頭粗眉眼鏡宅矮人騎士就這麼誕生了!839Please respect copyright.PENANAeomXsiU7tP
839Please respect copyright.PENANAnbKjfWVUjM
矮人當騎士啊……839Please respect copyright.PENANAoD6920bpex
839Please respect copyright.PENANAxV1CU5osbt
始終沈默的面癱祭司大人,在溫柔輕撫懷裡的寶貝小貓之餘,亦似不經意地瞄了眼那顆爆炸頭,嘴角微揚起一抹腹黑的弧度。839Please respect copyright.PENANAFoEY6rV48S
839Please respect copyright.PENANAJmx4G1AQEB
839Please respect copyright.PENANAsJfseiuAVe
ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
839Please respect copyright.PENANAwUbmMqSKiE
後記:
839Please respect copyright.PENANAklpMTqnVuM
挑錯職業真的會很想哭啊wwww839Please respect copyright.PENANAI1263CIKmQ
特別是已經練到高等了,才知道自己數值點錯技能學錯又不能重置,真是超杯具喔qwq(表示喵芭這貨常幹這種事#839Please respect copyright.PENANAnqKsjhzl2M
839Please respect copyright.PENANAd5pxVAro9V
等泰哥發現爆炸頭的秘密後,艾登就糟惹AWA839Please respect copyright.PENANAyDAOz9cL52
839Please respect copyright.PENANAwbIoVNB1OC
839Please respect copyright.PENANAmPthtscAtS
★【凌家動物園系列】
1.花心豹吃兔計畫 — 付墨X凌小兔 (作品名:小兔不吃回頭草)839Please respect copyright.PENANA6NzrUeMgGH
2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾 (作品名:恃寵而傲嬌)839Please respect copyright.PENANAeUJlX9sYB5
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫 (作品名:爆炸頭不要來)839Please respect copyright.PENANAALmLifvZsg
839Please respect copyright.PENANAK8rhnlgosf
歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<839Please respect copyright.PENANAclW1GR9jmV
839Please respect copyright.PENANAIrHiWPum34
噗浪:http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde839Please respect copyright.PENANAQwQGkWimLt
FB粉絲頁:https://www.facebook.com/meowbarksky839Please respect copyright.PENANAk5OTVmUniR
by 喵芭渴死姬 / 10.08.2015
ns 15.158.61.48da2