->>>孤男寡男共處漆黑空間,自然是發展各種奸情的好時機啦~AWA(#
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5-2. 美人來牽小手
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「風精靈!」909Please respect copyright.PENANAE57uAOPljJ
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莫名有些漫長的墜落過程,讓他們熬過起初的驚慌便冷靜下來思考對策。在發現系統顯示此處不得飛行後,塞倫緊急想起風系靈寵能操作氣流,便連忙召喚出來以減緩墜落速度。於是,兩人就像撐了降落傘般緩緩飄落著地。909Please respect copyright.PENANAa0CdKG7RnK
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肉盾難得有自覺地跳下地面,抹了把汗說:「呼,哥的防護罩早就沒了,幸好小倫夠聰明,不然我們就要做同命鴛鴦了。小倫剛一直抱著哥累不累?手痠不痠啊?餓了沒?哥這裡有茶碗蒸……」909Please respect copyright.PENANAUIJrIeeseJ
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「那成語不是這樣用的。」塞倫頭痛地打斷他的話嘮糾正道。他打開地圖卻見「無法顯示」的標示,只得無奈環視這一片漆黑,「這是哪?」909Please respect copyright.PENANAQZxH847uwe
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「應該是哪個地下穴道吧。」肉盾張望了下就指著前方說:「那邊有路,我們走看看。」909Please respect copyright.PENANA6FVPRN9Giz
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「你怎麼知道有路?」塞倫疑惑地張大眼睛,就是看不出個所以然來。909Please respect copyright.PENANAaQ0Nyt44IV
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「就在前面啊,很明顯。」肉盾抬頭望向一臉茫然的塞倫,「小倫看不到嗎?」909Please respect copyright.PENANAU6G2bG0iLW
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「這麼黑,我當然什麼都看不到,地圖也沒用。」塞倫煩惱地皺眉低語,垂眸竟對上閃閃發光的兩圓片,便又是一愣,「什麼東西?」909Please respect copyright.PENANAGyLdiLB2n7
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「嗄?」肉盾不解地摸摸臉,「哥臉上有什麼嗎?」909Please respect copyright.PENANALIykiCspF7
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聽他這麼一答,塞倫回想這爆炸頭的造型,就驚疑地伸指碰了下圓片,「這是你的眼鏡?怎麼會發光?」909Please respect copyright.PENANAez5cfkHMvV
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「眼鏡發光?」肉盾納悶地抓著頭,也不知是怎麼發光法,倒是想起轉職時系統頒發的獎勵,便大笑說:「啊哈!哥的眼鏡有+1,大概是升等的福利吧!對了,小倫覺得很黑嗎?哥看得很清楚啊!」909Please respect copyright.PENANAuAljpUIlqo
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「……眼鏡+1,難道是提升眼力的意思?」這是塞倫唯一能猜到的原因了,而隨即響起的系統音也立刻證實了他的觀點。909Please respect copyright.PENANANzL1ZcQjgh
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於是肉盾就得意了,「看來哥當初選這身造型真是明智啊!」909Please respect copyright.PENANAoI1NET3UdF
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「……」909Please respect copyright.PENANAqKKwOyk4Ai
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沒意識到塞倫的囧然無語,肉盾直接握住他的手,十萬分真心誠意地說:「來,哥帶你走吧,幸好這地看起來還挺平的,只要聽指示轉向就好。」909Please respect copyright.PENANA376wBRM6aB
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「……」909Please respect copyright.PENANACrhBKkI7nQ
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人家都這麼熱心要當導盲犬了,自己再挑剔未免太小心眼,何況這也是現下唯一的辦法了。於是,塞倫只好默默任由肉盾牽著他,一步一步慢慢走。由於久未跟人有肢體接觸,手中的異常溫度讓他很不習慣,心情也莫名憂鬱了起來。唉,等他出去後,一定要收一隻光系靈寵有備無患。909Please respect copyright.PENANA8lkpyxZH6d
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「這邊要慢慢轉右……好了,再往前走,大概十步路後就要左轉……」909Please respect copyright.PENANA1lcyb4RBHX
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肉盾的指引很仔細也很有耐心,這令塞倫倍感意外,沒想到這莽撞傢伙也有細心的一面。其實回想起來,肉盾雖然話多又頗豬哥無賴,但危急時也挺義不容辭的,要不是他不喜吵鬧,不然作個普通網友也算不錯吧。909Please respect copyright.PENANAA71izgQk2E
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「等等,好像有什麼要過來。」兩人如此走了近半小時,肉盾望見前方轉角處有道龐大的身影走來,不知是敵是友。他讓塞倫先停在原地後,一手取出愛的小手,另一手拉住頭巾,打算待對方一靠近就扯掉包巾拉仇恨,好讓塞倫有機會試著脫逃。909Please respect copyright.PENANAszTnM1MY2y
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「是怪嗎?」雖看不見卻也聽到窸窣腳步聲,塞倫打開置物包尋找可用之物。可惜他本就沒用心在練功和裝備上,因此包裡多是些食物和自己胡亂搭配的奇怪藥水。而且這鬼地方伸手不見五指,他就算召喚出靈寵,也不知該如何使喚,到時就只能靠肉盾一人應敵了。909Please respect copyright.PENANAcH73JHplQ4
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「還不知道,反正等下要是打起來了,你先想辦法逃,我來拉住怪。」肉盾專注盯著逐步靠近的影子,沒多想地回道。909Please respect copyright.PENANAj5uPTcAxDo
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這黑漆嘛烏的能怎麼逃啊?塞倫無語了。不過,人家到這地步都還講義氣,他一個人逃也太糟了吧?於是他嘆了口氣,「算了,反正是遊戲,大不了一起死。」909Please respect copyright.PENANA3xSPXonu6c
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「叮!」系統音飄下粉色愛心雨地歡樂響起了,「玩家塞倫願與玩家肉盾阿弗羅生死相隨,兩人獲得稱號《患難見奸情》,曖昧等級從1級升至2級,歡迎玩家再接再厲一路直奔嘿嘿呼呼唷~♥」909Please respect copyright.PENANA2oO4HwStEj
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肉盾一聽就激動了,其熱淚盈眶的程度將眼鏡亮度提升不止一倍。他欣喜若狂地握住塞倫的手,「小倫要跟哥同生共死嗎?哥真是太感動了!哥果然沒有喜歡錯人!」909Please respect copyright.PENANACC9moMvQR1
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「我不是……」沒想到會被系統坑,塞倫既黑線又炸怒地直想吼回去,卻被另一道低沈沙啞的陌生嗓音打斷。909Please respect copyright.PENANAEvOjUrKnea
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「誰?有人在那嗎?」909Please respect copyright.PENANANhRt4KYOfg
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兩人噤聲望去。肉盾也迅速扯掉頭巾,以備不時之需。909Please respect copyright.PENANAKe8uaK3f0P
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入目仍是一片黑的塞倫,隱隱感覺到有人靠近,而肉盾則清楚看見一個身材高壯的男子緩步走到面前。來者滿臉鬍渣看似三十出頭,及肩金髮凌亂披散似是很久沒清理,一身壯碩肌肉穿著無袖背心和迷彩軍褲,腳上卻是一雙夾腳拖啪嗒啪嗒地走著,腰間還掛了把槍,嘴裡啣著一根未點著的煙。這怎麼看都像個危險的流氓大叔啊!肉盾更加緊張地往前一站,誓要保護身後的塞倫。909Please respect copyright.PENANAI5BKtpwdvN
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見他們謹慎地瞪著自己不出聲,肌肉大叔又一次發話了,「說話啊!嘖,拎北心情咩送(老子心情不爽),別逼我動手揍人啊!」909Please respect copyright.PENANAXeJxDitZMc
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這怪或NPC滿滿的台味是怎麼回事啊?塞倫楞地抽了下嘴角,一道小火苗就忽地亮起,讓他總算看清來者面貌,竟是一個大叔在點菸,不會吧?在這密不通風的地道抽煙,不是要嗆死人了?909Please respect copyright.PENANAG35t0LlyOa
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不懂台語的肉盾抓了抓爆炸頭, 一頭霧水地問:「領什麼送什麼?是叫哥送東西給你嗎?不過老兄啊,我不認識你啊,你不先說想要什麼,哥怎麼知道要送你什麼?」909Please respect copyright.PENANAXOcfggLQix
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「……」909Please respect copyright.PENANAgvZG6kUKtV
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「不,他不是那個意思。」塞倫黑線地就發光眼鏡的方位戳了戳肉盾,「他是在說台語,意思是心情不好。」909Please respect copyright.PENANAMIiBLL19nW
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「喔,心情不好啊!」肉盾恍然大悟地點點頭,露出了然的笑容,「那不是當然的嗎?誰住在地下會心情好啊?是哥都想撞牆了!」909Please respect copyright.PENANApnkQTcfYfT
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「噗……」肌肉大叔撇嘴吐出一口煙,就噴笑地大力拍打肉盾的爆炸頭,「嘿咩!頭殼壞掉才要住地下啦!哈哈哈哈!你這顆頭也太讚啦!這個厚度要撞牆也很難死吧?」909Please respect copyright.PENANAgM9Y7G7RqR
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爆炸頭的減傷作用果然強,肉盾還真沒感覺到痛,只覺對方的話引起他心底的某種共鳴,就跟著大笑說:「對啊對啊!我剛進遊戲時,就被一顆大西瓜砸到,結果都沒事耶!哇哈哈哈哈!哥這頭帥吧?」909Please respect copyright.PENANAVap8y2Y870
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「咩賣咩賣(不錯不錯)!哈哈哈哈哈!」909Please respect copyright.PENANA2zpI5FmdW2
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塞倫再次無語了,這兩人居然就這麼聊起來了?而且還越聊越歡樂,話題一路從爆炸頭有多帥歪到吃完的西瓜皮能幹嘛,這到底……?!909Please respect copyright.PENANAYCJ0Ib5UGb
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
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「我叫克里斯,你們叫我克叔也行。」克叔叼著煙說完,就抽出一把手電筒扔給塞倫,「在裡面撿到的,還可以用。」909Please respect copyright.PENANAkMj4wtzNlZ
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方才的閒聊維持了一個多小時,他們才總算進入正題。待塞倫打開電筒後,克叔抹了把疲態盡顯的臉,說起自己被困在地底隧道是為了一個緊急任務。他花了三天三夜追趕任務目標《兔吉拉》,好不容易快要捉到了,兔吉拉卻狡猾地鑽進這荒棄多年的地底隧道。他們在隧道裡大戰一場,竟不慎引爆潛藏的未爆彈而將出口堵住,於是,一人一兔就被關在這裡出不去了。909Please respect copyright.PENANAA7rjshBGjH
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「那隻該死的兔子,還趁亂把通訊器給吞了,害拎北無法聯絡同伴救援!」克叔臉爆數條青筋地罵道。909Please respect copyright.PENANA2e0KX4MFYj
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「兔吉拉是怎樣的生物?」塞倫好奇了,一隻兔子會有多凶猛?竟逼得這位大叔如此沒輒?909Please respect copyright.PENANAVYfr2rCing
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「就一隻白色迷你兔,愛拿菜刀亂砍、見人就咬的混蛋!」克叔重重吸了口煙後,臉色極臭地咕噥著:「真搞不懂,小董怎會喜歡養這種鬼東西?」909Please respect copyright.PENANA0HT2p3iMSQ
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「養……難道是寵物?拿菜刀咬人的迷你兔?」塞倫覺得自己某些觀念好像快要不對了。909Please respect copyright.PENANAmwnNyCQDCC
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倒是肉盾敏銳地捕捉到某個關鍵名,「小董是誰?」909Please respect copyright.PENANARdTwMP34rs
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「咳!我上司,那死兔子是他的寵物沒錯。」不知是否看錯了,克叔在回答的同時,眼神似乎有些靦靦,該不是在暗戀人家吧?909Please respect copyright.PENANAeuI41BUPW7
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兩人才猜想完,就聽到系統響起了,「叮!玩家肉盾阿弗羅和玩家塞倫識破NPC《克里斯》的心事,獲得戳破盲腸度+45,八卦指數+90。」909Please respect copyright.PENANAepd4gkP1wu
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原來是辦公室戀情啊!任務目標是上司兼暗戀對象的逃家寵物,就是動粗捉拿也得小心翼翼免得弄傷,難怪克叔會搞得這麼狼狽辛苦。909Please respect copyright.PENANA3YwhZtfRHy
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兩人尋思完,系統就又灑下粉色愛心雨,「叮!玩家肉盾阿弗羅與玩家塞倫,連續兩次無需言語就達成共識,獲得稱號《心有靈犀的曖昧》,曖昧等級從2級升至3級,歡迎玩家再接再厲直衝小房間唷~♥」909Please respect copyright.PENANAWr5QA3rh08
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於是,肉盾再次激昂了,「喔!小倫美人跟哥竟是如此心靈相契合嗎?哥太高興了!果然,我們的相遇是上天注定……」909Please respect copyright.PENANA8g3Hi2qQGj
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「……」塞倫真心有想扁系統的衝動。 909Please respect copyright.PENANA43woNbZlr5
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NPC似乎都特別有耐性,等肉盾終於說完落落長情話後,克叔才大手一揮發佈了任務,「總之呢,只要揪出那死兔子,扁得牠把通訊器吐出來,我就能聯絡總部派人來帶我們出去了。」909Please respect copyright.PENANAs2wFKufnDG
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「叮!玩家肉盾阿弗羅與玩家塞倫,觸發地府NPC發佈的【特殊隱藏任務】《受困地底的偵查員》,一旦接受該任務後,在做完前不得離開此處,死亡即以任務失敗完成。該任務不可分享。請問是否接受?」909Please respect copyright.PENANA9icybNypS9
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地府?!909Please respect copyright.PENANAcNzj8yhBfY
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他們訝異地相視一眼。根據官方資料,奧普斯的世界分為人界、天界、魔界,玩家們一律只能在人界出生,系統目前也只開放人界地圖。地府則負責生死循環與維護世界平衡,換句話說,地府的主要工作是對復活點的營建管理,並緝拿懲戒違規玩家。舉凡曾被捉去地府的人全都有志一同地表示:「啃!打死都不想再進去了!真他X的太無聊啦!無聊到想研究一百種自殺方法都不行啊啊啊啊啊——」909Please respect copyright.PENANAsY6hO6cr8I
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不過,自遊戲開服以來,就從沒聽說過地府會發佈任務,也從沒人見過地府NPC。至於那些違規玩家,都是由系統直接將人轉進空無一人的地府大牢,別說看到什麼NPC,就連隻螞蟻也不見蹤影,才會讓他們悶到抓狂發誓不敢再犯。909Please respect copyright.PENANACJllmKZIMm
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於是乎,一場緊急小會議就在隊伍頻道裡展開了。肉盾率先提出一重要問題——909Please respect copyright.PENANABnFBzXSKnf
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『【隊伍】肉盾阿弗羅:不接的話,會不會被捉去地府關啊?』909Please respect copyright.PENANAHN8a9ruUL1
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塞倫瞧了眼叼著煙抱臂等待的克叔,回想過去似乎沒這種案例,便遲疑地回覆——909Please respect copyright.PENANAKu3fAjtsUD
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『【隊伍】塞倫:我們沒有違規,應該是不會吧?』909Please respect copyright.PENANALaXAPpLLzJ
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這樣啊?肉盾摸著下巴,臨時想起一個問題——909Please respect copyright.PENANA7BiY1pwtTl
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『【隊伍】肉盾阿弗羅:話說回來,地府跟地獄的差別是什麼?哥一直搞不懂。』909Please respect copyright.PENANAc5sQjegeIO
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呃,怎麼突然跳話題?塞倫看了眼滿臉求知慾的肉盾,只好先敷衍過去——909Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0GS3o5gyi
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『【隊伍】塞倫:晚點再跟你解釋那個。如果不接的話,好像也沒別的辦法出去了?』909Please respect copyright.PENANADvZFXzTZPa
909Please respect copyright.PENANARHMjdwrXw3
小倫美人真是中肯啊!肉盾立馬點頭贊同地補充——909Please respect copyright.PENANAyNRnUybC5s
909Please respect copyright.PENANAnMc9S8qygr
『【隊伍】肉盾阿弗羅:而且接的話,還可以看看那隻兔雞拉~』909Please respect copyright.PENANAy2HUkTSg5d
909Please respect copyright.PENANADSSXTIhc0x
兔雞……?塞倫微蹙了下眉,感覺思緒一直被打亂,只好暫停糾錯,先打下他的疑慮——909Please respect copyright.PENANAmmfuHzJVZ4
909Please respect copyright.PENANAoulpjGAKTE
『【隊伍】塞倫:不過這兔子是他上司的寵物,可能也不准我們傷了牠,這該怎麼打?』909Please respect copyright.PENANAnELhkxzruG
909Please respect copyright.PENANAXxtrhf1GKv
蛤?不能打嗎?肉盾納悶了——909Please respect copyright.PENANAbLz2GM3X0w
909Please respect copyright.PENANAcYzkLPFhc9
『【隊伍】肉盾阿弗羅:克兄不是說要把牠扁到吐嗎?為何不能打?難道是哥搞錯扁的意思了?O_O』909Please respect copyright.PENANADyyE3MkTyj
909Please respect copyright.PENANAHSh8NQuAS7
囧!塞倫囧了!909Please respect copyright.PENANAg1tQgSpoJ0
909Please respect copyright.PENANA26JOCgqmZM
『【隊伍】塞倫:不,你沒搞錯,只是……』909Please respect copyright.PENANAzdZGSVVlcD
909Please respect copyright.PENANAVghoCsZZJB
塞倫真不知該怎麼解釋,人家克叔可能只是誇示法,並不等於真的可以動粗啊!肉盾看出他臉上的為難,便趕緊幫忙打氣安慰——909Please respect copyright.PENANAzyfEjB79Vy
909Please respect copyright.PENANAfqDsJPecXe
『【隊伍】肉盾阿弗羅:唉呀!你們不是有句話叫冰來降打水來吐鹽?接了就知道啦!』909Please respect copyright.PENANAElfZTnWmcs
909Please respect copyright.PENANAQXWWFdwWb6
冰……吐鹽?塞倫楞地眨了下眼,盯著那句話默唸一次後,又再次囧了——909Please respect copyright.PENANAaIAkbjTwaO
909Please respect copyright.PENANA88kp3RGtrD
『【隊伍】塞倫:……是兵來將擋水來土掩。』909Please respect copyright.PENANAwkgkczjvzx
909Please respect copyright.PENANAkHXgU1IKBQ
「欸?小貝兒跟哥講錯了啊?」肉盾恍然大悟後,再傻笑回覆——909Please respect copyright.PENANA1PTk1gJlbW
909Please respect copyright.PENANArwACk7debg
『【隊伍】肉盾阿弗羅:啊,反正就接了吧,總好過一直被困著!』909Please respect copyright.PENANAaJJSWHOZQs
909Please respect copyright.PENANAZHbVohkxAp
原來發明這句的是另有其人啊?塞倫黑線吐槽著,也無奈地點頭附和——909Please respect copyright.PENANABmUbXbfEcx
909Please respect copyright.PENANAsJHCUQmbJ1
『【隊伍】塞倫:也是,反正就只是遊戲,大不了團滅也能死回城。』909Please respect copyright.PENANAD2lqgEFx6U
909Please respect copyright.PENANAPIidnFhVn9
死回城?喔不!肉盾立刻就激動地握拳,直接出聲發誓,「小倫!相信哥!哥一定會保護你,絕不會讓你死的!」909Please respect copyright.PENANAPiSVDSPdnJ
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「……」909Please respect copyright.PENANAKUlFXXO5dj
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接受了任務,兩人隨著克叔走過九彎八拐的曲折地道,就來到一扇緊閉的石門前。909Please respect copyright.PENANAcOS7HPIZ6E
909Please respect copyright.PENANAELgifpSJUX
「那兔子不知在密室裡找到什麼,死活不肯出來,我只好先把牠關在裡面了。」克叔沒好氣地扒了下頭髮,看起來十分煩惱,「死兔子的速度很快,我們一進去後要盡快關門,免得牠又趁隙溜了。」909Please respect copyright.PENANA30x7U2RqwI
909Please respect copyright.PENANABYqYiyANyK
「明白!」肉盾揮了揮愛的小手,驕傲地抬起爆炸頭,「有這顆頭在,包牠絕對離不開哥!」909Please respect copyright.PENANAzioFo3uDlC
909Please respect copyright.PENANA0fP56Wv6UD
聞言,塞倫不禁想起先前在草原上的暴動,便失笑地勾起嘴角,心想這人也真能苦中作樂。他用布條將手電筒綁在左臂上,召喚出回血回魔的風精靈。在還不肯定敵方狀況下,暫時先別使用攻擊性的寵物比較好。909Please respect copyright.PENANAS7VcZewCqk
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克叔見他們準備完畢,便一把推開門。三人正要閃身而入卻在踏步的那一刻,被眼前的一幕震撼得當場呆住。909Please respect copyright.PENANAwsaQhWIbLa
909Please respect copyright.PENANAkcICyde8UX
「那個……克兄啊……」肉盾扳回掉落的下巴,用力眨眨眼想確認自己沒看錯,「你們對迷你的定義,是怎樣的迷你法?」909Please respect copyright.PENANAebYfjNDee8
909Please respect copyright.PENANAIzjIqkJesm
塞倫楞望那隻傳說中的「迷你」兔吉拉,只見牠嘴裡似乎正咬著什麼,滿嘴角都是黑色汁液,血紅色大眼在掃向他們的同時,額頭上冒起十分顯眼的井字號,手裡的菜刀閃過爍爍銀光,看得他們頓感頭皮發麻。最重要的是,那所謂的「迷你」身材竟龐大得幾乎佔據整間密室,目測身高是克叔的兩、三倍不止。909Please respect copyright.PENANANym4ev08fB
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天!這就是地府的寵物?是要怎麼抓啊?909Please respect copyright.PENANAo92O5RTo12
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「(嗶——)!死兔子不知吃了啥,居然魔化了!」克叔罵咧咧地掏出手槍,飆出被系統消音的髒話,指向散發殺意的兔吉拉,「改變計畫!你們兩個給拎北放手開打,就算殺了牠也不能讓牠出去!」909Please respect copyright.PENANAWznLWMRrgg
909Please respect copyright.PENANARN7tUCO8ae
果然一開始是不給動粗啊,但現在這狀況也沒比較好呀!地府的特殊隱藏任務也太特殊了吧?!見兔吉拉往岩壁一揮刀,一大塊碎石就砰地落在面前,兩人不禁眼神死了。
909Please respect copyright.PENANAKaeYookBvn
ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
909Please respect copyright.PENANA2pYgIsaLyh
後記:
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美人各種被系統坑AWA(#909Please respect copyright.PENANAGbcwj3U4xF
909Please respect copyright.PENANAWDJkadGXFB
感謝克叔客串唷~XDDD909Please respect copyright.PENANAY4A7nioGAb
兔吉拉的形象來源就是哈比兔啦~WWWW909Please respect copyright.PENANApdm8E3BbF7
909Please respect copyright.PENANAD7Gg361dqL
909Please respect copyright.PENANAi6ggzLALwg
★【凌家動物園系列】
1.花心豹吃兔計畫 — 付墨X凌小兔 (作品名:小兔不吃回頭草)909Please respect copyright.PENANAHSjM0gv6Qf
2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾 (作品名:恃寵而傲嬌)909Please respect copyright.PENANAj6Djq5US78
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫 (作品名:爆炸頭不要來)909Please respect copyright.PENANAbLpxSsulBW
909Please respect copyright.PENANABVnX2VWYVF
歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<909Please respect copyright.PENANAR7LxPwVFbs
909Please respect copyright.PENANAJFwZj3CFq4
噗浪:http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde909Please respect copyright.PENANAQYJ9BhGJ4q
FB粉絲頁:https://www.facebook.com/meowbarksky909Please respect copyright.PENANARaHlKTYAFn
by 喵芭渴死姬 / 10.20.2015
ns 15.158.61.48da2