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【凌家動物園 III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來
By 喵芭渴死姬
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37-3. 出差求面基
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被史萊姆王吐出來的不只被吞下肚的五人，還有一個超大寶箱，怪界吃貨王實在名不虛傳。他們開了寶箱，便見擺在最上頭的手札，正是矮人老爸的筆跡，內容說明了自己有重大發現卻在此遇到難關，雖竭盡所能讓愛妻逃了出去，自己卻不知命歸何處。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bG4Exz4cN
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「看來真是被史萊姆王吃掉了吧？」肉盾得此結論後，身世任務便也顯示要帶手札回去交差和繼續尋找老媽下落。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIpleUVpQY
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「嘿，還有不少東西耶！」唬爛翻看寶箱裡的東西，拿出一大塊黑巧克力磚，頓時無語了半晌，「這該不是小混蛋一直聞到的巧克力吧？」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEysGmQKxD
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於是，系統在「叮」地加了戳破盲腸度。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZs7saanfHU
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「巧克力～」某吃貨又兩眼發光了。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdU3bGom2QP
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唬爛黑線地把巧克力磚扔給泰迪熊後，繼續在塞滿奧客幣與寶石的寶箱裡一撈，「矮人族限用戒指？豬頭拿去。」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdV09waW6T6
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「喔喔，屬性不錯，還有加速耶！」肉盾立即開心地戴上，今後世界頻道都傳說花椰菜頭有顆大紅寶石超炫富，此乃後話。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rpppxvlfF
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「哈！倫哥總算能換武器了。」唬爛丟出一顆水晶球。塞倫接來一看，竟是史萊姆外型的水晶球，不僅數值大幅提升，還額外附帶一隻史萊姆阿飄幫靈寵補血。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj3RlsJFNw
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「以後能省點魔了。」塞倫滿意地換上新武器，一隻透明的金色小史萊姆便在他肩頭飄啊飄，模樣可愛極了。他伸指逗了下，小史萊姆竟還蹭了蹭，讓他忍不住輕笑地揚起嘴角，一旁的肉盾也看得癡了。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpqm2YcbaQ
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「一封信？」主走八卦路線的唬爛立即拆開一看，居然是某高等NPC的秘密情書，便在獎勵八卦指數的系統聲後嘿嘿壞笑，「跟一個卡很久的情報員任務有關，可以來威脅NPC了。」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ034WXPk4Pf
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原來情報員還有威脅NPC的工作嗎？其他人不禁汗了。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWbEGSu13r
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「表哥，你的法杖。」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlexFTXsutO
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泰迪熊接住拋來的法杖，除了補血增益外，還隨機附帶祝福效果，果然是祭司們的優質武器。黑金杖身上畫著銀白龍紋，看起來更是威風華麗，襯極他那仙魔混血的氣質。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdH8IFrI5B
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「噗！貝兒應該會喜歡這個。」唬爛拎出一條史萊姆造型的鈴鐺項鍊，除了加魔法攻擊和施咒速度外，還有吃貨們最愛的素質：『食物效果兩倍』果真是吃貨出品就有吃貨品質保證！778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneCGscyEGu
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原以為喜歡可愛飾品的喵喵仙貝會很高興，誰知他戴上鈴鐺低頭看了幾秒後，就忽然哇地大哭起來，讓泰迪熊又連忙將他抱起哄撫輕拍。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlx6M4LzYEV
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這小鬼是怎樣啊？他們納悶地面面相覷，又見弟控兄似乎沒空解釋，只得暫先作罷。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZqdZhyTKe
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「接下來……原路回去？」分配好了寶物後，唬爛拍拍雙手起身查看四周，不見Boss房有其他出口，便直接轉身要往來時的大門走去。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth4UtD1iU9
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「不走那嗎？」肉盾指著另一側問道。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34esQsIAVl
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基於「宅宅眼鏡專視人所不易視」的真理，他們立即意會地定睛望去，果然在最側邊的角落處發現一扇不起眼的小門，其簡陋的程度簡直就像小孩的線條塗鴉，讓人一眼就直接略過。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYM1QEwATGn
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「那門在你眼裡該不會是很華麗很顯眼吧？」塞倫忍不住猜測道，豈知綠花椰頭竟搖了搖。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1J81Bc2M6v
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「沒有呀，門上就刻著『出口』兩個字嘛，你們看不到嗎？」肉盾的鏡片始終雪亮，看不見刻字的人們已無力吐槽。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCE9oJ72Mt0
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他們推開那扇小門，一條不算窄的通道隨即印在眼前，通道的牆面上還畫有跟矮人手札一樣的字跡——778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvodWgZRPUF
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『哥帥氣地來又帥氣地走，除了老婆一定要帶走外，不帶走一片雲彩，只留下被史萊姆吞掉的身外之物。』
「……」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYtJHaaIKA
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一片被留言口吻雷到的無聲中，唯有肉盾摸著下巴凝視半晌，忽然含淚發出一聲感慨：「這詩寫得極深情啊，完全展露了他對老婆的真愛與生死不離！」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHx587vQS5v
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「艮！」唬爛這句粗話也罵得「深情」至極。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8zEL5XDA7
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「檢查任務吧。」早已習慣這豬頭的抽風，塞倫無奈地戳點爆炸頭提醒。果然，身世任務又更新了內容，要肉盾拍下牆上留言後連同手札一起帶去找族長回報。
就這麼短短期間，從戰完史萊姆王後就沒停下嘴的喵喵仙貝已又吸哩蘇嚕吃完一碗叉燒拉麵，泰迪熊則無微不至地幫他擦嘴擦手又遞水，簡直比新生兒親爸還細心，讓人不得不感嘆這位奶爸的修練更上一層樓了！。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2tae6mbUj
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待肉盾完事後，一行人沿著通道走出Q洞，竟不見預想的艾爾文草原，而是一處他們從未來過的新地圖，系統音也隨之響起，「叮！恭喜玩家泰迪熊餅乾等人發現隱藏地圖《昆輪島》，成功開通Ｑ洞副本最終關卡與新版圖……」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzGsXjltuc
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已不想計較系統懶得報完成員人名的白目，他們聽著超乎想像的豐盛經驗值和奧客幣獎勵，又望見世界頻道跳出全服正式開放Ｑ洞副本的公告，便忍不住思考起一個問題——778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZmwti1H1q
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「到底官方預設打史萊姆王的方式是什麼啊？」有話就說的肉盾一講完，其他人也紛紛朝喵喵仙貝望去，只要他們一天跟這《吃貨王》組隊，就一天無法目睹真相，估計只能坐等其他倒楣玩家的論壇哀嚎文了。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuCoVAVd2w
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既然有機會開通隱藏地圖，自是要探索一番！於是，他們大步地往前一邁，頓時臉皮不禁微微抽了下，只見這花香遍佈的月下丘陵，竟忽然冒出如狼似虎的紅蜘蛛滿地亂爬，搭上此刻的陰暗夜色與浪潮聲，頗有一番駭人氣息，看得人背脊爬上一陣涼意。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sNQj4oYaA
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「靠！這也太噁！」唬爛抽出龍紋骨劍罵道。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsoR20zTNR
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「嘶！不會有毒吧？」肉盾揮著愛的小手，頂上總算醒來的小蝠，望見這景象又暈了。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLgzSbwrv3
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正當兩位近戰要衝上去扛怪時，怕蟲的喵喵仙貝又一次不按牌裡出牌，不管三七二十一地尖叫亂喊：「呀啊啊啊！燒烤剉冰一起來！隕石撞地球！剉冰來嚕！肌肉兄貴雷神大怒劈！」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwE0cEqbjkj
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一時間，現場隕石流星火雨冰雹雷擊陸續砸下，搞得大批紅蜘蛛爆怒湧來，肉盾只好苦叫連天地連忙滾進去拉仇恨，唬爛沒好氣睨了眼專闖禍的吃貨，才操劍衝上前狂掃劍技。塞倫召喚出火麒麟和冰晶妖後，趁風向灑了把麻醉藥之餘，瞥了眼發洩完就繼續埋頭狂吃的暴食貓妖，忍不住問了句：「這場面還吃得下呀？」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEp7VBS85f5
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誰知，喵喵仙貝的反應竟是捧腹狂笑，「噗哈哈哈！太好笑惹！」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZyiwHmDJd
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「……」塞倫這下是受驚不輕，這孩子該不是遇到什麼打擊心理扭曲了吧？778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KcmrJixRR
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「哇啊！小琥打到哥啦！」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWJAZr1kYc
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「哈哈哈哈……受、受不鳥……惹……哈哈哈……」喵喵仙貝笑歪倒在哥哥懷裡。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7u7o0yDskM
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「……」塞倫再次投去驚懼的一眼。方才肉盾可是差點被唬爛一劍劈頭啊，這也好笑？778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09G6cmTq9Y
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泰迪熊自覺寶貝弟弟太誇張，只好一手加緊補血補狀態，一手輕拍他的背低聲哄勸，結果喵喵仙貝竟反大哭怒喊：「窩捨摸都不想疵啦！」手卻自動從哥哥包裡抓出巧克力冰棒狂咬，嘴裡還喃喃唸著什麼。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiO8kvWyHV
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這貨絕對有問題！塞倫一邊加速打怪速度邊側耳偷聽，居然聽到一串英法混雜的語句，內容頗似教科書課文，卻又語無倫次毫無章法，文法更是亂得可以，這該不是……778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LbbNyAQ7r
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好不容易捱到大家將暴走紅蜘蛛滅盡，肉盾累得席地而坐求老婆安慰，塞倫摸了摸爆炸頭後，問泰迪熊：「貝兒讀書壓力很大嗎？」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGP0TODY1on
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「期末考。」泰迪熊不捨地摟著哼嘰吸鼻子的弟弟，又餵食又按摩，試圖幫忙舒緩神經。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplvdV2ficP
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「難怪喔！這症狀比當年在台灣惡補中文考大學還嚴重。」唬爛恍然大悟道。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigFpleqnWl
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「可憐的小貝兒，壓力大成這樣。」肉盾立馬心疼地跳起來，「沒關係，我下禮拜出差，就打算先去巴黎給你加油打氣！」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJYJ5TfhGj
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「咦咦？怎麼突然？」喵喵仙貝一聽，就秒速恢復正常，滿臉驚恐地搖頭說：「窩、窩、窩沒事了！豬頭登拜託不要來啦！」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQLDypRTFk
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「哈哈哈！你這孩子又傲嬌了。」完全誤會的肉盾揉著他的頭大笑，「不用擔心，哥一定會去探望小貝兒的啦！」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MxxFNQkAv
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「嗚嗚，不要啦……」喵喵仙貝這下是真心哭哭了，可惜，這一次泰迪熊也沒打算護航，只是耐心地抱著他好聲安撫。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCYnFUXQLu
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭￣3￣)╭♥ σ ﾟ∀ ﾟ) ﾟ∀ﾟ)σ ლ（╹ε╹ლ）
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEabFoDxla6
艾登這次出差的主要目的地在亞洲，首站卻是巴黎，原因當然是兩位哥哥都擔心貝兒一人在異國的生活狀況。雖然最想親自探望的是泰特斯，但他顧慮到自己在旁邊會令貝兒無法專心應考，才讓艾登代為前去。而艾登的最終站則是台北，並預定要待上一段日子。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqSYNh1tUj
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「小貝兒，到時借你的公寓住啊。」肉盾習慣性地報備道。雖說住宿費可報公帳，就算自費，以他自身的財力也毫無障礙，但他往常出差到台灣多是住貝兒的公寓好就近關心，即使貝兒後來不在台灣，他也習慣往那公寓跑了，畢竟怎說都比飯店還有家的感覺。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFCla7Z85K
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泰迪熊無聲默許，貝兒也正要點頭，唬爛就忽然打斷說：「不行，沒空房了，你得住飯店。」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNcj39d4m5
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「沒房了？」肉盾有些不解。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO15ymxJFDb
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「啊，對喔，小琥姊說過租人了。」喵喵仙貝撓了撓臉道。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCRJSiBx5R
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唬爛接著大力強調：「對對對！總不好突然叫房客跟你擠嘛，人家又不認識你。」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXvFHQ4Sv6
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMbADa9fQ1
肉盾有些遺憾地抓抓頭，「喔，那就住飯店吧。」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MDLlo4XPL
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14MWFXGcMl
早意識到問題的塞倫默不作聲地飄開視線，卻正好對上泰迪熊似不經意瞥來的冷眼，心裡便是一陣緊張。剛那眼神是什麼意思？不是發現什麼了吧？778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraEWnWqixf
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3kGTvg6jh
而唬爛從一開始就急呼拒絕的口吻，也讓喵喵仙貝納悶地投以詢問目光，卻收到她堪比抽筋的眨眼暗示，便又更迷糊了，只得發出私密語音交談，開門見山問：「小琥姊很討厭艾登嗎？」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOrpzrTctI
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6oKnyOOdp
「也不是啦。」唬爛暗自瞄向又黏在一塊的肉盾與塞倫，頗為難地應答。畢竟艾登多年來確實很照顧貝兒，以朋友身份來說，她並非真厭惡這個人，但事關倫哥的幸福，就難免挑剔了。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu66x3lcbwB
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtUgrG3gSN
喵喵仙貝想了下，又問：「那是不喜歡艾登跟倫哥在一起嗎？」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8q5MgWCWH
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAraFaA5faJ
「唉！」唬爛重重嘆了口氣，「我是怕他們失望，倫哥會受傷的。」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7Vhn4JAEi
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Vp4kZmJG2
「嗄？」喵喵仙貝不解地偏著頭，聽唬爛一股腦倒出憋了許久的苦水。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8wkRw5nGr
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmzU9dEI2M
「老婆老婆～」肉盾將語音切到夫妻頻道，「我終於可以去台灣了耶，我們見面好不好？」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8lDann8mi
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTwu3NrIhs
「……」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtA1dQ7fbu
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5il22PLNj
「老婆，我好想抱抱你，想真正牽你的手。」肉盾仰起傻到不行的笑臉，「我其實長得很帥喔，小倫老婆一定會喜歡的，不騙你！」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkSXYKNn2I
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYluntSGjQ
「看不太出來。」塞倫強自鎮定性地回嘴道，心裡卻是百般惶恐，自己這模樣哪裡見得了人？只怕這重美色的傢伙一看見他就掉頭走人了吧。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlLe2cSKe2
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsXF9X119c
「嗚嗚，老婆～」肉盾開始各種軟磨硬泡，耍賴哭哭打滾樣樣來。最後，塞倫實在被弄得捱不過哀求，只好暫且勉強地點了頭。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdxq2HXSZ0
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvQLg11gtl
「嗚喔喔喔！終於能跟小倫老婆見面啦！」778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPVUJJLlmc
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4r6yg1ndS
望著雀躍跳圈的爆炸頭，塞倫不禁煩惱地蹙眉輕嘆，天！這下該怎麼辦？778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4wbllqhsb
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEVdkpTAos
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbSPsTRAeI
ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭￣3￣)╭♥ σ ﾟ∀ ﾟ) ﾟ∀ﾟ)σ ლ（╹ε╹ლ）
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJS6FSXGW9
後記：
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBjkMrpojU
快要見面囉！！！！XDDD778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9zHiyk4so
貝貝留學辛苦惹qwq778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJck8XEhx4m
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRi2BmCNN2a
這篇字數較短，所以下篇一樣提早發唷～778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4nE9cC4lb
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnNrPpykUf
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQT22qP5fS
【下篇預告】《你的模樣》見或不見？小倫各種內心惶惶。約四千多字，大概禮拜四早上發。778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoeWWrNWtE
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcoK6SC03a
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYKNjw5e22
★【凌家動物園系列】
1.花心豹吃兔計畫 — 付墨X凌小兔 （作品名：小兔不吃回頭草）778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOZJPB6DLL
2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾 （作品名：恃寵而傲嬌）778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEuL5PqFez
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫 （作品名：爆炸頭不要來）778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqWlkgmXYq
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwxnjDwqKj
歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2r2KFuZjKV
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBd0aMnt36s
噗浪：http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTz8SRrIiky
FB粉絲頁：https://www.facebook.com/meowbarksky778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVxuEIRq0s
by 喵芭渴死姬 / 04.05.2016
ns 15.158.61.6da2
