->>>對付大吃貨Boss，就讓專業的小吃貨來！
【凌家動物園 III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來
By 喵芭渴死姬
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37-2. 吃貨爭霸戰
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「嗯～啊～♥」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyKhErHbcB
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一路忍著豌豆大叔的嘶吼，直到最後一隻史萊姆小王嬌喘地倒下，吐出奧客幣寶箱與一把金色大鑰匙後，他們才終於鬆了一口氣。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSj0SOvQVdJ
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「哈……希望……Boss可以……正常點……哈……」肉盾已翻滾得筋疲力盡，兩腳一癱地坐在地上喘氣。小蝠不屑地踹了他幾腳，繼續抱著小強觸角飄愛心。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLLmO6tOZP
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「奧普斯的Boss哪時正常過了？」塞倫無奈失笑地遞去一瓶體力回復劑。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiuuGBNe9Q
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「老婆～親……唉呀！」肉盾傻笑地撲過去求貼心老婆親抱，自是又被一掌拍開了。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeHaDNIZAj
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「就叫你看場合。」塞倫微紅耳根地拒絕公然放閃，卻沒扯開肉盾的手。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJ2cIyvxfL
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「咪嗚嗚嗚……」喵喵仙貝小奶貓哭鳴地按下截圖鍵後，不知在鬧什麼脾氣，竟不滿地掙脫出哥哥的懷抱跳下地化成人形，氣嘟嘟地鼓起臉哼哼唧唧著。泰特斯也不氣惱他的任性，僅是將人抱回來輕哄低語，惹得小傲嬌嘴上說討厭身體卻老實地蹭著。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBB0VuAGLWu
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終於受不了這滿室秀恩愛的系統，只好叮了又叮地分別給他們升了CP等級與放閃度。某閃光免疫體的腐女人妻，則瞇起雙眼於內心各種嚎叫。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRv9Fs4zfkc
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閃死了，閃死了，老娘一定要寫書出賣這兩對CP……啊呸呸呸！死豬和倫哥才不是一對！818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EQmp8I8Ic
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待休息夠後，他們開了寶箱撿了鑰匙，就朝最後一間Boss房走去。由於今天喵喵仙貝似乎不在狀況，老是失手亂放法術，他們為免重蹈覆轍，再次發生來不及說完敵方資訊就開打的事，便決定開門後先站在房外等泰迪熊分析完畢。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpCISlXNIX
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不過，《奧普斯》的Boss們總是特別愛搞怪。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCuxq3uzmL
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「……」泰迪熊的面癱臉更癱了。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Yyh8vbxwm
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「欸？」肉盾抓著爆炸頭不住往室內張望。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZsTjlxl9I
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「靠，又是怎麼回事？」唬爛沒好氣地將龍紋骨劍扛在肩上。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyYJh9Vl1p
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「果然從沒正常過啊。」塞倫也無奈輕嘆。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uZtGWK6Jg
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「呣、呣、呣……嘻嘻。」只有一隻小吃貨咬著鳳梨酥，莫名其妙地笑了起來，讓塞倫不禁投去不解的一眼，才將注意力轉回前方。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlzupa6yDM
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只見異常寬敞的房間透著冰冷的危險氣息，深灰的岩質地面凌亂遍佈刮痕，角落散著疑似骨骸的碎片與斷裂武器，這怎麼看都是Boss房的特徵，卻少了一個關鍵性的存在。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjvpgazqnA
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肉盾探頭左右望了半天，「怪了，沒有Boss嗎？」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTovRmREoR
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「還是隱身了？」塞倫猜測道。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqnZhSPCaR
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泰迪熊看了眼左手仍保持銀色的戒指，「沒有。」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQONFFVNWx
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「唉呀！就進去看看吧，搞不好不用打怪。」唬爛嫌麻煩地甩著紅豔長髮率先踏進房裡。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQc91USCfK
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「欸，等等啊，一個人太危險了。」自認不該讓女性單獨衝鋒陷陣，肉盾抽出愛的小手趕緊跟上。待兩人走至房間中央，仍不見任何變故，其他人才放心地走了進去。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfDNI86Rbv
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「咦？」喵喵仙貝動了動鼻子東嗅西聞，兩眼發光地吞著口水，「有巧克力味。」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSOxoNxmRD
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「你是狗嗎？」唬爛忍不住出聲嘲笑，換來壞脾氣小孩的吐舌鬼臉。不過，吃貨不管看什麼都往食物聯想，他們便也沒怎麼放在心上。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwY32WAl8TR
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正當他們打算四處打探時，身後的大門就忽然「碰」地關起來。這宛如鬼片的經典效果，嚇得俗辣貓妖跳起來抱住泰迪熊，還不忘顫顫巍巍地偷瞄，十分有怕鬼又愛看鬼片的自虐精神。倒是塞倫鎮定地往大門瞧了眼，就見門板上刻著一排英文字——『Treat or trick↑』818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UedztvUMY
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「什麼意思？」塞倫疑惑蹙眉問道。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlSX2ilDIA
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其他人也紛紛回頭查看，肉盾以為塞倫不懂那句英文，就傻呼呼地開口解釋：「老婆，那是我們萬聖節時小孩子扮鬼跟鄰居討糖說的話，意思就是不給糖就作怪，哈哈哈，說起來還真……」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7oThQGKU5
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「我不是問這個，是指那個箭頭。」塞倫黑線地打斷他的話。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuv38GojnJ
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「箭頭往上？」正所謂好奇心殺死一隻貓，喵喵仙貝就是個憋不住好奇的人，嘴裡才說完，他頭便已往上抬去。因為他這個舉動，大家跟著抬頭仰望黑壓壓的屋頂。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4Io3hhC6j
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「什麼都沒啊。」唬爛揉了把瞪累的雙眼，其他人也納悶地皺眉點頭。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7LHCBNxO8
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唯有泰迪熊臉色不善，正要出聲警示，屋頂就忽然露出兩顆晶燦的眼珠子像在拋媚眼般地眨啊眨，驚得他們頓時一囧，宏亮的「噗——嘰——」聲便趁機如金鐘罩頂般壓下，震得他們耳鳴頭暈、難以動彈，「屋頂」再以迅雷不及掩耳之勢張嘴墜落。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAdtDMBdu0
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我靠！哪有Boss黏在天花板上作弊的啦？818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1alDsVSCM4
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內心的怒吼還未歇，所有人就已眼前一黑，全被吞進Boss的肚子裡了，逃？那Boss的嘴張得有這一整房間那麼大，逃個毛啊？818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHilqrTjCz
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「叮！恭喜玩家肉盾阿弗羅成功開啟《史萊姆王之門》，正式觸發【身世任務】《父母的遺物？》，隊友亦將獲得協助任務之獎勵。此任務將於史萊姆王的體內進行，請玩家務必做好準……Oops！原來你們已經進去啦？顆顆！」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLXFxcjosz
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系統你去屎！818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaZNs7M3Oa
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭￣3￣)╭♥ σ ﾟ∀ ﾟ) ﾟ∀ﾟ)σ ლ（╹ε╹ლ）
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「（嗶——）的！一片黑是要怎麼做啊？」唬爛首先爆粗話了。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5bShFWVmi
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「肉、肉盾，你的眼鏡呢？」塞倫吃力地抵著面前的障礙物。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeV5ucDmZS2
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「眼鏡被壓到……呼，這樣有光了吧？」肉盾努力掙扎出一絲空隙，物盡其用地用爆炸頭頂推開前方障礙，卻是可憐了被嚇暈的小蝠差點被擠扁。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJKtIqFWqL
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「咕嚕咕嚕……」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHT8WdNMGw
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有小吃貨的肚子叫不停，偏偏一向萬能的泰迪熊也愛莫能助，只得使盡抬手往儲物包伸去。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhOPgkR8p8
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他們之所以會落入這般境地，全拜史萊姆王的超強消化吸收力所賜，以致於他們一被史萊姆王吞掉後，體力與飽食度便瞬間歸零，連有《力大無窮女漢子》稱號的唬爛也手無縛雞之力。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeeMFtu4Vx
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更討厭的是，不像一般內臟間尚有空隙的生物，這史萊姆的體內是滿滿的史萊姆，毫無一絲縫隙，就像果凍不管怎麼切怎麼挖都還是果凍。因此，他們此刻全身上下緊黏著史萊姆，要說話還得稍挪點空間給嘴唇動作，才會開口就吸入史萊姆而嗆到縮短窒息倒數。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVsaLF8Y4j
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「啊，想到了，頭好壯壯！」此特殊技不耗體也無須飽食度，只需一聲令下，肉盾的週身便爆出防護圈將體力瞬間回滿，同時也震得史萊姆王張嘴微晃地吸了口氣，竟將窒息倒數計時延長了不少時間，而持續一分鐘的防護圈也稍為大家撐開點與史萊姆的距離，儘管才補滿的體力又呈一定速率下降。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYL5zJ49Yg
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肉盾這下真是沒輒了，「就算補了體力和食物也沒用啊？」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR25NBWhl2e
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「嘖，剛喝的藥劑都浪費了！」唬爛跟著罵道。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFWXsLa7Ak
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正想餵喵喵仙貝的泰迪熊也只好打消念頭，轉而問塞倫：「有什麼藥？」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBR4Mp3P02T
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「史萊姆是果凍體，對牠有用的藥不多。」塞倫查看包裡的藥品，邊煩惱地思忖著。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2v9QOeLSw
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肉盾納悶地張望四周，「怪了，之前被史萊姆吞時還看得到外面，怎麼這次會這麼暗？」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2r2Ma34uIy
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「巧……克……力……」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvTORecqxT
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喵喵仙貝不知是餓昏了還怎樣，竟吸著口水呆望前方呢喃，這傻模樣頓時就讓弟控大哥心疼了。泰迪熊暗罵了句這該死的破任務，便意識到一件事，「為何這任務非進來不可？」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugSjzo97rX
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「欸？對吼！」肉盾打開任務面板一看，「尋找父母的遺物，難不成他們也被吃了？」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43Wnk96o5N
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「啊，用消溶水？」尋思量久的塞倫，拿起一瓶藥水，「不過，這通常是拿來煉藥用的。」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYwhoczQOJ
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「不會把我們也溶了吧？」唬爛問道。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkqJjxqw3o
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「那……」塞倫繼續找。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPosI8J9smk
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「這附近也許有什麼。」泰迪熊推論道。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57YLrSylZz
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「我看看……咦？那邊好像真有東西。」低頭搜尋的肉盾，發現斜後方遠處有團不明物體，便試著要將腳步挪過去。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIixHXwLAo
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這一廂，正想方設法的四人討論得熱火朝天，另一廂的喵喵仙貝則不斷吞口水發呆。本就見底的飽食度已令他餓得發暈，從進房後就飄散鼻間的巧克力香，更誘得他不住將在腦海裡「端端」跳動的深咖啡色史萊姆王化成Q彈滑嫩的巧克力凍。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7o8XyXgOI
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於是，一場扭轉局勢的關鍵即將發生！818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8yuHOdJF0
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「噗……！」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3eQoYQGSn
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「叮……！」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppKxN2aOg1
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驚響又中斷的史萊姆王叫聲與系統音，讓他們全都下意識抬眼一看，卻見倒數計時不僅暫停了，還多出一排『死機重啟倒數』的字樣，接著他們又聽聞一陣窸窣咀嚼聲，便轉頭望去，竟是喵喵仙貝咬了滿嘴咖啡色果凍塊，而面前的史萊姆壁已缺了一大塊洞。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBx0xyzdCO
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「啊呣、呣……襖襖疵（好好吃）！」小吃貨口齒不清地說完又張嘴一咬，笑得好不滿足。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcAttnqGNy
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不、不會吧？史萊姆可以吃嗎？等等！這是什麼食人反被食的獵奇概念？818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyTroPbHUO
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcd6c8JAOL3
在大家悚著臉的倒抽聲中，泰迪熊也茫然地說不出話來，並深深處在「寶貝兒吃得好可愛」與「生吃活體很詭異」的矛盾衝突中。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgeFWgo6z5
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRtIIjXlZw
「噗嘰噗嘰——」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3nDA3FtvN
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjw5fcsEHLl
重啟結束，史萊姆王再次發出尖銳的驚呼，身體也劇烈地攪動翻滾起來，最後一股強勁的沖勢將他們全嘩啦吐出來後，就瘋狂尖叫地撞開大門逃之夭夭了。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzCYvvkyAE
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxF9eE6z6k
「叮！叮！叮！叮！叮！」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwDRkTdqmF
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRgwYRbcco
就在他們被摔得頭昏腦漲時，宅宅系統音萬般激動地響起了。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS92JGrlbv
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQsmbptmKp
「恭喜玩家喵喵仙貝以最獵奇的創新戰鬥法嚇跑Boss《吃貨史萊姆王》，獲得《吃貨王》的特殊稱號——舉凡史萊姆族與可食類怪物見之皆繞道，史萊姆王與可食類怪物Boss見之必跪拜獻食物寶箱求嘴下留全屍。歡迎玩家再接再厲發明更多驚囧戰鬥法唷！」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4ituagz08
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這樣也行？818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRDICGxpD4
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwmxSyJznK
一片囧囧無語中，喵喵仙貝爬坐起來，發現超好吃的大果凍跑了，就哇地大哭：「窩還沒疵夠啊！者摸就沒惹？嗚啊——」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrPi75G145
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEQ7rXaXPv
「寶貝兒，寶貝兒，乖……」泰迪熊立馬吃力地掏出食物，把小吃貨抱緊處理。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHufIeYGWCY
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexL3eXsuPV
唬爛掏出體力恢復劑灌下後，向最近的塞倫遞去幾瓶，「都拿去喝吧，省得再找。」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABe6XiLP0o
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVgFr66xLc
肉盾抹淨沾了史萊姆碎凍的眼鏡，見塞倫手中握著一瓶透明藥水，便歡樂地朝他一撲，「老婆真好，已經幫哥準備恢復劑了。」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErbjBuXDVt
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZiHFSUWEO
「嗯……嗄？我還沒……」精靈體質不禁摔又正值飢餓體空，塞倫好不容易從眼花復原，納悶地望向正往嘴裡灌藥的肉盾，頓時大驚，「等！那是消溶水！」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysTNgzoYz2
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5zG7HyN6a
「噗——痛、痛、痛！」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFx5g2obFLA
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRH4ygxP1H3
「那個……治癒？」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9BkE52xN1
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1Lc1ANms7
「沒空！」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzObS9Uk90B
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdHpQ1cqBv
「嗚嗚～老婆，我好痛……」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2Iz5hrtgx
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VAUs5bfF3
「你真是……我找找傷藥。」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzj68T2mqPK
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「……」818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1sd43W6Xi
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唬爛默默地將體力恢復劑全數收回後，翻了個白眼暗吐槽，豬蠢沒藥救！818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5ggldXX5A
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSare2gkveC
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWmaZckgDj
ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭￣3￣)╭♥ σ ﾟ∀ ﾟ) ﾟ∀ﾟ)σ ლ（╹ε╹ლ）
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCrZrG3r8w
後記：
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLEybMcO4w
史萊姆就是拿來疵的～awa（不對＃＃818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVnM2VtHTQ
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JtO0BWxgM
小琥越來越抵擋不住艾倫配的吸引力惹XDDDD 818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2Kl72sK60
接下來的路線會遊戲任務與現實發展並行嚕，艾倫兩人快要見面啦～818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeU5Zx3sFwH
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這篇的字數較少，所以下篇一樣提早發唷。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDY2A9JFvUE
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【下篇預告】《出差求面基》：貝貝異常的原因，艾登求碰面。字數約三千多，大概禮拜二早上發。818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RyuZUyT0p
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9tFEFL7wd
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDYPelvYY8
★【凌家動物園系列】
1.花心豹吃兔計畫 — 付墨X凌小兔 （作品名：小兔不吃回頭草）818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0EtSJ6nkP
2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾 （作品名：恃寵而傲嬌）818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1fyYRKHnR
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫 （作品名：爆炸頭不要來）818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNsTzqslvy
818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEV7XW98J1P
歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZXAfrjmz7
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噗浪：http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKmETcZjka
FB粉絲頁：https://www.facebook.com/meowbarksky818Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3Rm4MJrIn
by 喵芭渴死姬 / 04.03.2016
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