Well that failed spectacularly.
I'm back, I guess. Can't seem to stay away.
So, uh, my dad just drove off and now I have a splitting headache. Oh yeah. And I just cussed in front of my mom for the first time, but I don't think she cared? I don't know. Lots of firsts today. I had my first real talk with my dad, which quite obviously didn't go well, and now I want to die. He made me delete all my social media, and now I'm grounded for a week.
I can't do this. I actually can't.
My head feels like it's about to explode, so now I can't concentrate on studying for the exam I have tomorrow. I have no idea what I'm doing, so if anyone wants to kidnap me, now's the time.
Ya know, life sucks. Family sucks. People suck. I suck. My dad sucks more. He wants me to be open with him and tell him everything, but how can I do that when he's so opinionated? He claimed he was humble, but when my sister, my mom, and I didn't answer, he stormed off and ignored us for a week. And today, he said he was trying, and yeah, I know, but it's not going to be an overnight thing where I just poof! suddenly love him and confide in him for everything. I know I'm holding on to the past, but how can I not? This is how I was - am - being raised. Box up your feelings. Don't let anyone see them or else they'll judge you. Be nice. Agree with everything and everyone. But don't let people tell you what to do. Sometimes I think my parents would be better off divorced, my sister and me just living with our mom, but then I realize I would actually miss my dad, and then I get angry. Why should I love my dad after everything he's done to me?
My life is so bad right now. I hate it.
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