Yeah, so this is probably going to turn into a rant about my dad.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDCSg26hkO
My family and I just got back from the beach yesterday, and even though we were only there for five days, a couple major things happened.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDXyjPulHZ
Thing 1: The four of us (mom, dad, sister, me) were all at the beach and my mom was trying to set up the umbrella. It didn't stand up and my dad got mad, so my mom started storming away. Then, my dad said, "[Insert Mom's name here], stop acting inappropriate! We're in public!" I was like, Wow, we have to keep up our public image at a beach we'll probably never go back to. After a few minutes of laying down on a towel, my mom went down to the water and started walking away from us. Naturally, I followed with my sister. We left our phones and flip-flops with our dad and caught up to our mom. The three of us walked and talked for some time, and then we turned back. But when we got back to where we set our things down, my dad and everything we brought was gone. So we spent like, forty minutes trying to figure out where he was, and when he didn't show up, we decided to head back to our beach house. Sadly, we had to walk over a path of rocks to get back. Barefoot. When we got back, my dad was outside of the house with our stuff. My mom was like, "Why'd you leave?" All my dad said was, "I had to go to the bathroom." Queue a big fight and shouting match between my parents. My dad didn't talk to us for a whole day, and when he finally did, he was like, "You have no right to be mad at me." Queue another fight between the whole family this time. We did patch things up, but not before my dad brought up the idea to get a divorce. So...yeah.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRvR9JkFTM
Thing 2: My parents finally learned that I am depressed. Yeah. Like, no shit. I've been depressed for two years, and they finally figured it out. Technically, my sister brought up the subject and my dad overheard. But yeah. Apparently, those times I asked them to get me a therapist didn't mean anything. All the times I told them I had severe anxiety and severe moderate depression, they thought I was just joking. My dad literally asked, "So what makes you happy?" When I said, "Art," he was like, "So if I gave you colored pencils and paper, you wouldn't be depressed anymore, right?" He thinks that depression is only being sad to the extreme. The thing is, my family doesn't get it. They don't get me. They think I'm this happy, funny person, when I'm really just someone who has suicidal thoughts. I've spent so much of my life pretending that I'm someone else so people don't look at me strange, that I don't really know who I am anymore.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0uYav77Li
So that's all that happened at the beach, but there's still more from way before the beach was an idea.
Whenever my dad gets mad, he ignores my family. He ignored my family for a whole week once. He also cares about my grades way too much. I'll get like a 97% on a test, and the first thing he says when I tell him is "Do you know what you did wrong?" I just feel like I get no appreciation from him. Oh yeah, and when I suggest things like getting therapy, he'll be like, "I'll talk to your mother about it, but remember, it's expensive." Then I'm always think, Well no effing shit, you drilled that into my head when I was in 2nd grade. I was around seven (I think) when my dad was talking about financial issues with my mom. I was sitting at the dining table next to my mom, when he came in and just started talking money. My soft-hearted-seven-year-old-self asked him, "Can you not talk about it in front of me? It makes me scared." And what do you think he said and did? Did he stop talking and comfort me? No. He said, "No. It's the real world. You need to know." From then on, my life was, Do I want it, or do I need it?
There's a lot more about him that has wrecked me in the past, but I think this is enough for today. I just can't wait until I'm out of the house.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cgg3JCA9i
