Hi, everyone! So it's been a really long time since I posted and I'm sorry about that. I had been at a low and lost my motivation for a bit, but it's back! Chapters will probably begin coming out either once every two weeks, or once a week, depending on these next few chapters. Again, I'm sorry, but I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!
This part of the chapter also deals with alcohol, however not in a lighthearted way or a way too dark. Remember to be safe! 637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaI7ki98Lk
Two hours later, I was sitting on the couch with Delcan, enjoying freshly-baked cake and homemade frosting. Delcan shook his head as I shoved another bite into my mouth. “It’s like you’ve never been fed.”
“This cake is amazing,” I told him. “Seriously. I didn’t know you enjoyed baking so much.”
Delcan licked the frosting off of his fork, watching me calmly. Oddly sexy, I thought to myself. “I don’t exactly enjoy it,” he shrugged. “It’s just something my...godmother taught my sister and me when we were younger.”
I continued eating the cake he had made. “How much did she teach you?”
“A lot,” he answered. “Her specialty was baking, but she loved reminding Callie and me that we could always grow from the bad things that followed our parents.”
Nothing from my parent’s past has ever been brought up, except for Armani, someone who I can’t find anything out about from online stalking. There’s nobody named Armani who’s my mother’s age, and Delcan refuses to explain anything to me but their name. He won’t even share the gender. “That’s interesting,” I mumbled. Delcan watched me with curiosity as I shoved the last of the cake into my mouth with one bite.
“So...what happens on New Year's Eve for you?” Delcan asked. I watched his eyes drift away from my plate and to the door like he was expecting somebody to walk in.
Even though he wasn’t looking, I smiled. “It changes each year.” Delcan looked at me again, his eyes a darker green. “Typically, I’d go out to parties with Adam, Thomas, and Haven, and we’d all do stupid things until two in the morning. Other times, I’d stay home with Haven or Evvie and lie about where I was to everybody else.”
He raised his eyebrows. “So you’ve never really lied about going to see a boy at all?”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t count if he has no idea.”
From 7th grade to the end of 9th grade, I found myself always trying to please one of my friends. To make him laugh or look at me more often, or even stalling in the locker room to watch him change. It’s a horribly gross thing now that I’ve thought it over, but I never had the guts to tell him the truth. Of course, it sucks to learn that Travis knew the entire time. And that he was fine with me watching him change or allowing me to get angry when he dated my sister.
I spent so much time longing for something I didn’t have, I never waited to see my chances.
Delcan shrugged. “Looks like I’m your first again on something,” he said, smiling.
“I guess so,” I responded.
We sat in silence for a few seconds, and I looked at my phone. 10:00. Two more hours, and a new year would begin. “What do you usually do on New Years?” I asked, biting the inside of my cheek for how much curiosity I had. Delcan’s eyes met mine, and immediately, I knew the answer.
“Not as exciting as it sounds,” he smiled.
I gave him a look. I know he hates it when I sympathize with him like this, but I can’t help it. It’s so wrong that he was that young, and that someone allowed him to be used like he was nothing. “Different topic,” I said, placing the plate to the left of me. Dad wouldn’t be here to say anything if I got a second plate. “Any plans?”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpVcAPFsnr
Delcan turned his head away from me, looking at the plain wallpaper. “Not really,” he told me. “You called me this afternoon anyway, so it’s not like I had time for anything too great to do.”
“That’s fine,” I told him. He was acting off, but I didn’t feel like I had a right to ask what it was. “There’s always movies we could watch, or we could try a game. But I have to warn you, I rage quit pretty easily sometimes….or more cake. Delcan, are you alright?” I watched him as he stood up, swaying over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.
He turned back to look at me. “Yeah,” he slurred. “Whatever you want sounds great.”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFdepoq9HN
“Are you sure you’re okay?”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLSpb60Jnh
Delcan drank half of his water bottle to keep from responding to me, cutting another piece of cake and putting it on a plate. “Here ya go,” he said, offering the cake to me. I watched his shaking hands for a moment before taking the cake from him.
“How does a movie sound?” I asked him. As moist and delicious as the cake looked, I kept my attention on Delcan as he stuck a finger in the frosting of the cake. He rolled his shoulders for a moment before deciding to walk back over to the couch.
“Okay.”
Delcan sat down, hardly two inches away from me. I wanted to close the space desperately, but I didn’t know what reaction that would bring out of him. He refused my offer of cake, taking the remote from its placement and turning on the television. As I savored the taste of vanilla in my mouth, Delcan continued switching through the channels before some 90s movie I had never seen before was playing.
I looked at him, confused. “You’ve seen this before?” I asked him.
Delcan shook his head, looking at the television for a moment. “Nope,” he answered. “And neither of us are going to watch it.”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2HDRFtUsQ
Irritated, I ran a hand through my hair. “That’s illogical, Delcan we’re-” before another word could leave my mouth, Delcan threw down the remote, pressing a kiss to my lips. I still had a piece of cake sitting behind me, so I pulled away quickly. I didn’t like how desperate he felt. How unaware of himself he seemed.
“Just set it on the ground,” he said, not noticing any concerns I had.
I stayed in the position I was in. “Kissing isn’t going to make anything better, Delcan,” I told him. “Whatever’s going on, we can talk-”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOA4qHi4x3C
“I don’t want to talk, Ezra,” he growled, gritting his teeth. “And I didn’t think you’d have any issue kissing me.”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2GXyRNKik
I don’t, and I never will. “Not if it's out of a bad place, no, I don’t.”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAjK0vM3zg
Delcan lifted his chin up, his barely visible Adam’s apple wavering. “Then we won’t kiss,” he said, standing so that he could lean over me and put the cake on the coffee table in front of us. He sat back down, looking at me hungrily. “We’ll make out.” Delcan kissed me again, and this time his mouth was relaxed, and his hand was on my knee. He hoisted himself onto me, somehow managing to lay me down in the process. I looked at him in surprise, wondering why I always ignore the strength he has.
I wasn’t able to say anything before Delcan took my face in his hands and kissed me. As if he’d been reading my mind, he pulled away for a moment, softly kissing my nose. “It’ll make me feel better,” he whispered. “I promise.” No, it isn’t, my brain told me. None of this is helping. Keep kissing him and you’ll fix nothing.
At that moment, his eyes were amber, desperate for something I’m not sure I was ready for yet. Delcan bit the inside of his cheek, and I felt regret for my future as I said, “Okay.” Delcan's lips curled into a smile, and he brought his face to mine, his lips slightly parted. What the hell am I doing? I wondered as I allowed Delcan to place my hand on his lower back, drawing him down on me more. Sighing relief, Delcan messed up my hair as he deepened the kiss. I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to understand what was wrong with him. I couldn’t.
Maybe this was the only way.
In the background, I listened to some joke about zebra pants as Delcan pulled my attention back on him, kissing my neck softly and whispering that it was helping. Something in me sympathized for him, but I caved regardless, taking his beautiful face in my hands and kissing him harder. He placed an arm behind me to steady himself, his other hand in my hair. It didn’t seem like I could have enough, so I kissed him more, allowing his mouth to open as the taste of alcohol burned my tongue. I’d never been able to know what the drink was, and at the moment, I didn’t care.
Delcan pushed himself off of me for a moment, and I took his hips as he pulled his shirt over his head. Smiling as I pulled him back down to me, Delcan and I kissed slowly as everything seemed to fade away. The only way my breathing was controlled was by following his, which was gradually going faster. I kept the moan in my throat as Delcan broke from our kiss, biting my lip in the process.
Oh.
Delcan went back to kissing my neck, and I placed a hand on his back, embracing the moment. Sooner or later, I’d have to stop this. But I didn’t want to.
He was mine. And there wasn’t a single thing that could stop us.
Delcan’s hands slid under my shirt as I pulled him back onto me, ignoring the slight pain I felt in my bottom lip. “You never stop surprising me,” Delcan whispered, breathless. You’re doing this to him, I thought to myself, smiling as we kissed again. Delcan whispered something in Spanish that I didn’t understand, but I could feel the hum of satisfaction in my chest. Somewhere into things, I lost my shirt and found my jeans unbuttoned. Delcan kept kissing my harder as alcohol felt like the only thing I had tasted in years.
I pulled away from Delcan, kissing his neck softly and taking in the scent. He smelled like sweat and alcohol at first, but underneath that, there was a fresh, ocean scent that I was drawn to. I listened to Delcan sigh as I kissed him slower, allowing my satisfaction and enjoyment to take over my body. Pressing a hand to Delcan’s lower back, I kissed him again on the neck before opening my eyes and finally looking at him.
Delcan had his head turned away from me since I had moved to his collarbone, but he was looking somewhere else, un-focused. He was still breathing heavily, but I wasn’t sure if it was because of where my mouth had been. I rested my hand on his waist, and Delcan turned his head to look at me. Tears stained his cheeks.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, reaching out to touch his arm. He jerked away from me, and I saw the annoyance in himself the second he moved.
Looking me up and down for a moment, Delcan shook his head. “Nothing,” he told me. “Keep going.”
“No.” I looked around the couch for my shirt, finally seeing it a few feet behind me. I didn’t have a clue where Delcan’s went, but he didn’t seem to care too much. “You’re...distant, Delcan. And I know my senses aren’t wrong.” Though he was already looking at me, Delcan raised his eyebrows like I had just suggested we jump off a cliff.
Getting off of me, Delcan gave me a fake smile. “Nothing is wrong, Ezra.”
“I’ve lived my entire life around lies,” I told him, fixing a wrinkle in my shirt. “Around fake smiles, fake people, and an entire version of myself that was a lie. Don’t sit here and tell me something far from the truth, okay?”
“I’m not trying to ruin your night.”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv24j1YmmvA
Surprised by the frustration that I felt, I hit my hand on the side of the couch. “You aren’t ruining anything!” I said, raising my voice. Delcan watched me with hurt eyes, his mouth closed. “Please...please don’t say that. I don’t care how bad it is or how ridiculous it sounds. Just tell me.”
Delcan got off of the couch, finding his shirt and then debating if he wanted to put it on or not. He glanced at me for a moment before pulling the shirt over his head. “You should probably leave,” he rested his head on the couch, closing his eyes and breathing slowly.
Anything I had felt before was thrown away. I stood up, going to his side. “Do you need to go to bed?” I asked calmly, leaning to his level. Delcan opened his eyes, which were a different color. They were grey, and it was the first time I’d seen them.
“Nope,” he whispered. “I just need a minute.”
I straightened back up again, grabbing my phone to set two minutes. If he was exhausted he’d fall asleep. I’d been in this situation with Thomas before he realized his parents were getting a divorce. If Delcan fell asleep, I’d try to make the couch as comfortable as I could for him, then I’d debate his condition to see if I needed to call his parents. If he was still awake, I’d try letting him do whatever he needs to before deciding to help him relax.
And if he is awake, ready to talk, I’ll listen.
Two minutes felt like a year as I watched the time, then Delcan. Time, Delcan. Time, Delcan. He’d moved a couple of times, turning his head to watch me. By the last thirty seconds, his eyes were still open, but he was muttering something to himself I didn’t understand. By the last ten seconds, he kept telling me he was eleven and incapable of truly caring about me. As much as it stung, I allowed him to talk aloud, pressing my hands to my knees to keep from speaking.
After the minutes were up, I started talking again. “What do you feel like?” I asked.
“I was eleven,” he said again. “And somebody just decided they had to change my life. For their benefit. Their god⟴ benefit.” His eyes met mine, and he was tearing up again. I wish he would tell me more, I thought to myself, walking over to him calmly. I tried placing a hand on his shoulder, but he jumped. “Stay away,” he instructed.
“Okay,” I said. Messing with my hands, I went back to the couch and sat down looking at him while he stood up rolling his shoulders. The muscles in his back moved as he began fixing his hair.
“I wanna go to bed,” he whispered.
I nodded. “Alright,” I told him. “Do you need help with anything?”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3CFZdu7zI
Delcan glared at me. “I’m good.”
“Okay,” I said, hoping he didn’t hear the pain I was feeling. Delcan turned away from me, taking another bite of frosting from the kitchen before he went upstairs and out of sight. Sighing, I got up to put the rest of the cake into the fridge, and to look in the trash. Clever as he is, Delcan didn’t think to throw out the trash containing three beer bottles and a small whiskey bottle. That’s probably what I was tasting, I thought, holding up the cherry flavored whiskey.
Upstairs, I heard a loud bang, and then a pained cry. I dropped the bottle hurriedly, causing the glass to spill everywhere in the trash can. Deal with it later. I ran up the stairs, taking as many as I could at a time. I fell on the last one but pushed myself up quickly. Breathless, I tried pulling open the door, but Delcan had locked it. Slamming my fist against the wooden door, I started to bang it. “Are you okay?” I called. When a wave of silence answered me, I banged louder. “Delcan, seriously! What happened?!”
The door opened, and I almost fell on top of Delcan. He was looking at me questionably, and then his eyes fell on my bloodied knuckles. “Good job, dude,” he said, taking my left hand in his and touching the marks. “It’s glass. When the hell were you around glass? It’s...it’s been like five minutes.”
I pulled away my hand. The cut didn’t hurt until he began touching it. “I heard a noise.”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLY6YV1m1a4
Delcan smiled, leaning against the door. “I banged my foot on the wall,” he told me. “Nothing serious.”
He kept looking at the blood on my hands, and I hid it behind my back. “Why were you drinking so much?” I questioned. Delcan smiled before biting his lip as I asked another question. “Are you hurt?”
“The only pain I’m feeling is inside,” he told me, swaying away from the door as he went into the bathroom. I examined the glass cut, and then Delcan’s door. There were slight blood marks on it from me. Crap. When Delcan came back, he had a damp towel in his hands. “Here,” he slurred. I thanked him, placing the towel on my hand as I looked at Delcan’s feet. They seemed fine.
Everything is fine.
Delcan went out of his room to look at the door, and he cursed in Spanish under his breath. “Give me the side you didn’t use,” he instructs, and I hand him the towel. While he wipes down the parts of the door that he can, he starts slurring his words again. “You’ve got...to stop being so careless. Focus on yourself for once, Ez.”
“You could’ve been hurt, Delcan.”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZ0ZyOJZmx
Once the door was cleaned, Delcan handed the towel back to me. “But I wasn’t,” he said. “I’m fine, and now you’re bleeding….” he trailed off while I checked my hand again. For what I could see, the blood had stopped. It hurt to clench my hand into a fist, but I doubted I’d ever need it. “Are you leaving?”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbr1S2OMtjf
I looked at Delcan with a smile. “Why would I leave?”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbJCM3o6Do
He didn’t seem to hear what I said, instead of giving me a hopeful look in his eyes again. “So you’ll stay?”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRC4LuVFU2f
“Yes.”
Delcan was silent for a few seconds, and then he shrugged. “No, I mean...will you, um. Will you stay here?” He waved a hand around his room. Then, he pointed a finger to his bed.
I looked at him in confusion. “Sleep in here?”637Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVZgqiPU52
“That is what I implied."
There were still glass shards on the floor, and things I needed to fix before I went to bed. I still had to text my parents and tell them I was having a good time. That I’d be spending the rest of my night with Haven. It was already past twelve, which meant they’d be asleep by now, and my sister would be texting her boyfriend until 4 in the morning. “Sure,” I told him. “Give me about five minutes, okay?”
Delcan pulled his phone out of his pajama pocket, resting against the door. “You’re timed,” he said, a smile forming on his face. I smiled back, taking the stairs one by one on my way into the kitchen.
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