The dance may have only started, but the main parking lot at EastLand was already full, so I had to pull into the side parking lot freshmen usually took. Nobody seemed to hesitate when they knew the car had pulled in, Evelyn jumping out first with the Heslop siblings following her. I sighed, actually parking the car before I got out.
Nothing comes out of teen pregnancies, I remembered Dad saying.
His voice will probably haunt me for the rest of the night. And what excuse would I have if someone recorded me dancing with Delcan? Principal Greene said to make sure everyone was comfortable, and no one was dancing with him. It seemed like a nice thing to do.
He would snap at me for that type of answer anyway. Something about how Delcan’s past placed him without anyone and his “Mexican” out-of-control behavior deserved to be neglected. And then I’d have to sit there and nod, pretending I believe everything he says about my boyfriend.
“I’m no expert, but I don’t think standing in the parking lot really counts as attending the dance,” Delcan had appeared by my side, snapping me out of the punishment I’d probably face tomorrow morning. My stomach turned from looking at his amber eyes and the excitement in his body he was trying to ignore.
I smiled. “I know,” I told him. I looked over Delcan’s shoulder quickly, realizing that Evelyn had gone off (probably with Adam) and that Callie was still standing next to my new car, scrolling through her phone.
As I walked with Delcan, I could already feel eyes on us and rumors starting. I’m not too sure what people can make up about me walking with Delcan Heslop into the dance, but I’m sure I would learn. Callie followed a few steps behind us, only looking up from her phone to check on her brother. While Delcan walked down the hallway beside me, I continued to notice how many people pointed at us and whispered, some of them looking at me in shock or even pulling out they’re phones.
I’m definitely getting recorded tonight, I thought to myself, looking at Delcan. Unlike how I must’ve clearly looked, Delcan continued walking casually, his face calm and emotionless as we made our way into where the dance was being held. When fewer people surrounding us, I leaned down to Delcan’s ear. “This...doesn’t bother you?”606Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4DGUwvEIV
Delcan kept looking straight ahead, but he smiled. “Ezra, for the millionth time, attention is my fuel. If these people want to waste their night thinking I care about their opinion, let them. It shouldn’t bother you or me what these insecure individuals think.” I didn’t have time to answer him before he opened up the gym doors, a clean rap song blasting through the room. I could feel the bass in my stomach, which didn’t help with the nervous guilt absorbing it.
Blue, white, and silver streamers were attached to the ceiling with care, little snowflakes, and snowmen hanging as well. On the ground in some places, fake snow was decorated around seating areas which had a snowman in a scarf sitting on top of them. In the center of the gym, a disco ball’s colors had been changed to make the room a chilled blue, the light reflecting in snowflakes and snowballs. Beside me, I paid my tickets for Delcan and Callie ($15 in total) as a girl from the cheer team thanked me with a fake smile. Beside her and scattered around the room next to the benches, tables of frosted winter-themed cookies, apples, popcorn, and blue & white cupcakes were presented with fake snow covering the bottoms of the containers snacks were held in.
Callie shook her head in disbelief when she continued looking at the room, and I was surprised as well. Whoever had funded all of the decorations had truly been generous with their money. A stage had been constructed with a DJ station on top of it, and two microphones set exactly in the middle with a glass table holding the bedazzled crown and tiara. Below the stage, a voting ballot for anyone who hadn’t decided already was creating a long line, cheerleaders seeming to help out the stressed parents. “Someone decided to be extra this evening,” Callie laughed, walking over to the snack table to get a glass of water.
I looked over to Delcan, who was fighting with a streamer attached to the back of his sweatshirt. He huffed, finally slapping the streamer before it fell off of him. I held back my smile, watching him as he regained his composure. His eyes met mine, and he raised his eyebrows. “What?”606Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFr2L1q5V8d
I let my smile reach my face. “That was interesting.”
“Shut up,” he muttered, walking over to where the music was the loudest. I’m sorry, I wanted to say, but he was too far to hear it. Eyes followed him, some confused, others disgusted that he’d been allowed to enter the room. Delcan ignored whatever glares and whispers he was getting, and he stood a few feet away from the middle of the dance floor. When he noticed I wasn’t beside him, he turned around, finding me immediately.
I looked away from his annoyed expression, trying to find where Evelyn went. I knew that I’d be the only one watching her tonight - Eric and his actual girlfriend were busy trying to spike the punch, the two of them laughing and hanging onto each other. It was pretty easy to find Evelyn since she was one of the few girls who showed up to the dance in pants. She was dancing with Adam, enjoying the music as Adam’s eyes followed her body’s movements.
Scrunching up my face, I moved out of the doorway for other people as the song changed to a popular pop song I hadn’t heard yet. I stood alone for a few moments, tapping my foot unevenly to the music. Why am I here? I thought to myself. I can’t even dance that well, and Delcan probably dances like a god.
“I thought we were dancing,” Delcan said. He’d moved himself out from the crowd of people, and he was close enough to me that a kissing couple didn’t hear us. He leaned next to me, sighing. “I don’t think this counts.”
“Not...not yet,” I told Delcan. He turned around, grabbing a bowl of apples and immediately putting them in his mouth. I didn’t interpret his silence as anger, instead I wondered if he wanted me to say more. “Maybe a um, a few songs later.”
Delcan smiled, watching his sister turn down another guy who had asked her to dance. “That’s fine,” he said freely. “I’m in no mood to push you.” I looked away from him, pretending I didn’t notice Eric as he and his girlfriend were dragged away by the vice-principal. Clearly, they’d managed to spike the punch. The music changed again to a loud rap song that messed with my stomach.
About two minutes into the song, Principal Greene walked over to where Delcan and I were standing, his forehead creased with lines. He gave Delcan a forced smile before leading me towards the stage. We stood on away from where the blaring music was, which so happened to be close to Evelyn and Adam, who were drinking punch a few feet away. “Ezra,” Principal Greene began, I looked behind me to find Delcan talking away with a group of guys from Oakwood. I felt my stomach tighten, hating the useless jealousy I had. “I have a job to do young man, and you aren’t making it much easier.”
I turned back around to look at my principal, who had kept his hands on the sides of his cleaned tuxedo. “Excuse me?”
Principal Greene gave me a kind smile, but I saw the irritation behind his eyes. “You are one of our best students, Ezra. You work exceptionally hard and you have been since your freshman year. And from what I’ve heard in your previous education years, you were almost never in trouble.”
Except for when I was, I thought to myself. I couldn’t understand what point he was trying to get, so I kept listening as the song changed again in the background. “And this year...you’ve been risking so much, Ezra. Freshman year, you informed me you wanted to get into an Ivy League college, correct?”
I nodded, trying to know why we were discussing this at a school dance. “Yes, sir,” I answered. “I still do.”
Principal Greene smiled, satisfied with my answer. He opened his mouth for a moment, but then closed it, reconsidering his words. “That’s fantastic,” he told me. “However, those prestigious schools don’t enjoy risky, unstable applicants. And I cannot help but notice the very clear mistakes you’ve been making these past months.”
This is about Delcan, I thought to myself. And I don’t think it’s crazy to believe Dad is playing some role in this. I knew Dad was still angry about me trying to help Delcan during semester exams, but I assumed he was over it by now. It had been months since we’d even talked about it. I didn’t think it would’ve been held against me. “Would you explain further?” I pressed, hoping my anger wasn’t clear.
“Your...I’ve decided that you need to make some better decisions, for yourself and your education.” Behind me, I heard Evelyn command Adam to go away, continuing to stay where she was. I put my head down more so that Principal Greene would have no choice but to look at me. “And these...these choices that you’ve made are illogical and irresponsible compared to the young man you were last year.”
“People can change,” I told him, wondering what benefit he would get out of telling me who to hang out with.
Principal Greene nodded slowly. “I understand this, Ezra, but not everyone can.” He shrugged like it wasn’t anything you could change. “And I believe you lack to understand that your friends are not smart options. They will only lead you down a deeper path of horrible decisions and poor life choices. You’ve already risked too much for your friends, Ezra.”
I tightened my jaw, resisting the urge to smile. “Would you enjoy describing one of them to me, sir? Just so I can understand you better.”
That caught him. He hesitated for a few seconds, letting the bass of another rap song dance in my stomach. With his questioning expression gone, Principal Greene’s face was set straight with a hard glare. “I should not need to remind you of them, young man. I’m sure you’re quite aware of yourself.”
“Like when I tried to help a struggling student?” I implied. Principal Greene’s expression didn’t change, and it only irritated me more. “A thing I’ve done numerous times during exams when I’ve finished. I did the same thing last year to Haven Bronx, and I wasn’t called into the office with my parents assisting me. Why is it such a big deal if I help Delcan? Because he has a terrible reputation?”
My principal shook his head like I was missing the point of this useless conversation. “Haven Bronx...she is a fine young lady, Ezra. I’m sorry to hear about your separation. And maybe this is about Delcan, but maybe it is not. This is more so about your lack of focus and understanding for the future you will ruin.”
A laugh came out of me, but by the look on Principal Greene’s face, I knew it wasn’t filled with any happiness. “Because I’m ‘friends’ with Delcan? Or Evvie? Are you trying to form some type of pattern?”
“No, Ezra-” Principal Greene started, but he closed his mouth after my name flew into the air. He looked at me closely, and I held his look, making sure he knew exactly what I meant. “I’m not sure I can appreciate a...your situation with Declan.”
I grunted. “Delcan,” I corrected him. “And you don’t have to.” Principal Greene didn’t try to stop me when I left, and I wouldn’t have listened anyway. I moved through the crowd of people, wishing I could calm the anger rising inside of me. Of course, Dad must’ve wanted to keep an eye on me after semester exams, but I’m sure my principal’s report of what I’m about to do will cost me more than a trip to the gym.
I’ve done practically everything I’ve been asked to do for the past sixteen years. I didn’t argue when Dad told me to make enemies with two African American students in elementary school, and I didn’t even question him when he asked me to practically bully others. I always assumed his smile meant he was proud of me, that maybe I would get a hug from him too. But now, I’m beginning to believe he looked at me with amusement because I was turning myself into him. I was hating groups of people for no reason, and a lot of names were placed on me.
Middle school definitely wasn’t any better. Anger overtook everything I did because of my feelings for Travis Black, and without influence, I acted out often. But I began to see the damage I was doing to others when three students moved because of me. Then five. Six. Ending in twenty. I did it because I was angry and confused and because I wanted Dad’s approval. That was what pushed me to be the favorite. Not the good grades, or my spot on any sports team, or how long I stay up with Emmanuel until he falls asleep. It was the anger that’s still inside of me that he loved.
And then I meet someone I’ve heard too many rumors about. Someone who sold their body for a reason no one knew, and someone who had a loving family. Dad lied when he explained that “those workers” were useless for anything except for their bodies. Delcan isn’t useless, and he never will be. If he can look past my outbursts of anger and racism in the past, I can see how good he truly is. A good person who makes horrible decisions. But I’m realizing now that no one wants to see what person lies behind the rumors that he’s thrived from. All anyone sees is the Delcan that he wants everyone to see, the Delcan that’s cold and sarcastic and doesn’t care about anything in the world. I guess others, like Dad and Principal Greene, see Delcan as some type of threat to someone as “good” as I am, so they want to pull away from the one person who finally listens to me when I want it.
Well, with all the damage I’m beginning to see in my family, I don’t see too much of a problem with pushing it further.
I finally reach Delcan after being surrounded by bodies, and he’s licking icing off a cupcake casually. When he sees me, he almost chokes on something, covering his mouth as he throws the cupcake away. I find myself smiling, and for now, my anger is fading. “What did chubby fingers want?” Delcan asks me. I smile even more when I see how blue his tongue is.
“He informed me that I was making the wrong decisions with my friends,” I responded. Delcan raised an eyebrow, looking in the direction where Principal Greene was now gone. I watched him as he turned his head to me.
“Are you okay?” he mouthed.
I nodded, knowing it probably wasn’t true. For the first time, I was thankful for the groups of people that surrounded Delcan and I. It takes a while before people realize what we’re doing. I take Delcan’s hand and smirk. “Do you want to dance?”
Delcan lifted his head up to look at me, his eyes were still amber. “It’s about time,” he joked, letting me lead him onto the dance floor. I didn’t think being in the middle is the smartest option, so I pulled Delcan towards the end of the floor, not too far from where the doors were. Callie must’ve noticed us and made some gesture to Delcan because he was biting back a smile.
“Fair warning,” I began. “I’m not a very good dancer.”
Declan smiled, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a few couples watching us. “Mhm…” he trailed off, beginning to dance confidently as the music played in the background. I ignored Delcan for a moment as Brielle and her dance partner stopped and looked at me. You said you were done, I reminded myself. Pull it together and dance. I sighed, beginning to dance along with Delcan in the best way I could.
As it turned out, Delcan had much better rhythm than I’ve ever had. I had no clue what to do with my arms, or the rest of my body except for my legs, which were just dancing to the music. Delcan cracked up laughing at my small amount of skills. He slowed down his calm dancing to match my awkwardness, and I found myself laughing with him. By the end of the second song, I wasn’t surprised to see half of the people in the room watching us. The DJ was still running his playlist, but I knew even he had lost his concentration. But for once, I didn’t let myself stress out about it. Delcan grabbed onto my arm, smiling while Callie cheered about something in the background.
I was thankful slow music didn’t play for another thirty minutes, because I was sure holding onto Delcan would mess me up even more. Delcan finally got me to move my hips, but I knew by how jerky my movements were I was doing it wrong. Even then, we continued dancing for several songs, and the minutes flew by. Finally, Delcan must’ve been doing something he’d been planning on since we walked out on the dance floor, which was to make me grind on him. I looked up, knowing I was blushing while more people watched us in awe. I didn’t know if they’re open mouths were a good or bad thing.
Things are already bad, I reminded myself, trying to keep my breathing steady as Delcan kept dancing close to me. Why not make them worse? I put my arms around the lower section of Delcan’s waist, pulling him closer to me as we danced to the music. I didn’t have it in me to grind on him at all, but I didn’t stop him from being very suggestive of his dancing. I smiled when Delcan pulled my arms closer into him, and we stayed like that for another two songs.
When the slow music began playing, Delcan pulled his arms away from me and ran his hands through his hair. I looked around us as couples ignored what we’d been doing for the last six minutes, awkwardly intertwining their hands as they danced in silence. “Are...are we doing that stuff?” Delcan leaned in close to me to talk, and I looked down at the worry in his face.
Crap. I keep forgetting this is his first dance. It’s probably appropriate for me to make the experience as good as I can. I nodded, taking his hands in mine as we began dancing again.
Slow dancing turns out to be much easier than the dancing Delcan is used to. I held Delcan close to me, finding myself becoming more and more relaxed from his steady breathing. Since I assumed he didn’t know how to slow dance too well, I just put one of my hands on the middle of his back, and my other one held onto his hand. Delcan stayed silent, resting his head on my chest as we moved slowly together.
This is more than worth it, I thought to myself, calmly pulling Delcan closer to me as the music escalated to its course again.
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