I finally got off my bed and began walking to the door. Who would even be here? Someone from from the football team, maybe Adam or Thomas, but that seemed highly unlikely. They never really came over that much. Or, it could be Evvie, trying to make up for what she did (not that I would listen anyways, I usually avoid people I’m “mad” at for two days). Possibly, it could be one of Haven’s friends, wanting to know some useless information.
What if it was him?
No. I’m sure that Delcan likes me enough to not give me a heart attack. He wouldn’t come over, especially with my parents home.
I suddenly wondered if Eric would’ve copied Delcan’s number in his phone, but then I tried convincing myself that because I didn’t care about his girlfriends, he would probably hardly even care about my-about Delcan. He wouldn’t do that, I knew my brother, and Eric wasn’t really about talking to anyone he didn’t care about.
But, I wound never know until I opened that door. So, I did.
Though I wasn’t expecting Haven and Evvie to be standing there, both of them almost the same height.
Evvie.
Crap. I put on my best fake smile and nodded to both of them. “Hey ladies, what’s up?”
“Babe,” Haven said, smiling. “I missed you. Have you finished all your homework?” She pulled me into a hug that I wasn’t able to react in time from it. I couldn’t help but look over to Evvie and conjecture: Did she tell her?
“I’m happy to see you too,” I said, suddenly remembering that I still had homework that needed to be finished soon. “What is it?”
Evvie cleared her throat just as Haven let go of me. “Haven wanted to come over, and she took me with her,” she said. “We needed to talk to you about something.” I couldn’t stop thinking about the look she was giving me. What was she planning?
“Okay...cool.” I said.
Haven smiled, one of her flirtatious smiles that should make me feel something. But it didn’t. “So, I know it’s weird and everything…” she said. “But I know that you would never cheat, right?” I shook my head, feeling more than guilty for lying to her.
“I would never cheat on you, Haven.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9jQwrtM3h
Evvie’s face showed it all. Lie. That’s a lie, and you know it, Ezra Gatley. Even though I knew she was right, I looked away from her and kept my focus on Haven.
“See?” Haven said, turning around and looking at Evvie. “I told you.” She turned back around and in a way, pulled me down so that I’d be near where her. It put pain in my arm, but I did my best not to show it. “You’re a great boyfriend.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLBP6l6TVR
I nodded, smiling. “Thanks.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgqrL25y9z
Haven pulled away from me and grabbed Evvie as she pulled her onto the couch. Evvie was stunned by the sudden movement and was forced onto the couch, next to Haven. I smiled, because I felt really bad for Evvie. Unlike most of the girls I knew, Evvie had always been that girl who had lots of guy-friends. And not a lot of girl-friends. Though I’m sure she was bursting with happiness once she found out I wasn’t straight. She knew I wasn’t going to be like all the other guy-friends she had (which would always end up with them liking her, then her beginning to date them, then lastly, they’d break up because things just didn’t work out). Sure, I thought she was a beautiful girl, because she was, like Haven is. Which is why it was a perfect reason for the two of us to begin “dating”.
“So…” Haven said, messing with her hands. “Where’s your sister?” Evvie looked up at me, and she clearly knew now how stupid her choices were.
“She’s helping my brother get up,” I said. “You have Friday off, too?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuETh9W7uK
Haven nodded, smirking. “Yup,” she said. “4.0 G.P.A. Could I talk to Evelyn?” she asked me.
In all honesty, my sister basically hated Haven. She wanted nothing to do with her, and became a pretty interesting person when she was around. “Might not be the best idea-” I started, but Haven had already grabbed my hand and was beginning to pull me up the stairs. We walked up the stairs together, Evvie staying behind, and went into Emmanuel’s room. He was still halfway asleep, and his dirty-blonde bangs were in his face. But the second he saw Haven, he sat up quickly and smiled.
“Hi, Emmanuel,” Haven said, smiling to my brother. She walked over to where Evelyn was and sat down next to her. Evelyn glared at Haven before she turned and looked at me, her eyebrows raised. She didn’t even have to speak for me to know what she was thinking. What is she doing here?
I don’t know why, but my mind thought of what Delcan said when we were at his house. Though he might not have been talking about me, I almost cracked up laughed, thinking about how Haven basically did barge into my house.
“Hi, Haven. You look pretty,” Emmanuel said, complimenting her. He sat up just as Evelyn stood, moving away from Haven. She probably knew that those pills that helped Emmanuel wake up would be needed.
My younger brother has issues when it comes to sleeping. He takes medicine an hour before bed, and after he wakes up. So, we usually have to do several different things to try getting him to wake up, or fall asleep. When it’s my turn to put him to sleep or wake him up, I usually talk about boring things at night, and then let him tell me all about his plans for today or how school is in the morning. He’ll usually be asleep from the boring stuff in less than an hour. On an average day, it takes Emmanuel about an hour and a half to go to sleep, which usually means each of us spend a few hours in his room before he’s fully asleep. But it’s all worth it, because the next morning he’s not cranky or annoying like he would be if not to get the correct amount of sleep.
“Look, Haven,” Evelyn said, putting her hands on her hips. “I don’t really know why you’re here, but Emmanuel really needs to wake up. So if you could just leave, I think it’d-”
“I’m not here to see Emmanuel,” Haven interrupted. Evelyn rolled her eyes. “I came over to see my boyfriend and talk to you as well.” Evelyn nodded slowly, pretending to be kind before she pulled out her phone. I’d be receiving a text in three...two...one.
Evelyn G.:
What on earth is she doing here, Ezra? Does she know about you-know-what? And why does she have to talk to me? Why am I being punished?
Me:
To all of those questions: I don’t know.
Evelyn G.:
Oh my gosh. Why can’t you just tell her to leave or something?
Me:
I can’t. Plus, Evvie is here, too.
Evelyn G.:
SO?! What are they even doing here? Why is Haven with her in the first place?809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEX61QdK98y
809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxq9bbyo8o
Me:
Like I said, Evelyn, I have no idea. I guess we’ll have to find out together.
Both Evelyn and I put our phones away and looked at Haven, who seemed to be helping my brother get out of bed. For some reason, I felt uncomfortable with her doing that, so I cleared my throat and waited until she looked back at us.
“Right,” she said. “Sorry.” Haven smiled to me, and I quickly smiled without showing any teeth, then crossed my arms over my chest.
Evelyn raised her eyebrows. “Well…” she asked. “What do you need to talk to me about?”
“Both of you,” Haven corrected her. She gestured to a corner in Emmanuel’s room where all of his toys were. Though they were hidden pretty well, I still knew where all of them were. I followed her over to the area, Evvie sitting to the left of me and Evelyn sitting to the right, clearly not wanting to be next to Haven.
Haven clapped her hands together, basically scaring the crap out of poor Emmanuel, who popped his head up and looked at her. I smiled to him before turning back around, leaving him to play with some type of toy I couldn’t fully see. “Okay,” Haven said, taking my full attention. “One of them is just between all of us, and the second one has to do with Evvie.”
Haven seemed like she didn’t even notice my face change. What on earth was she talking about? Usually, when Evelyn and I got in trouble, we wouldn’t be in trouble together. And since I never really get in trouble (at school or home), my body was beginning to react to it without my control. I felt my palms begin to sweat, and my heartbeat speed up.
“Guess what’s happening at school on Monday,” Haven said, seeming to be really excited about it.
Evelyn stopped her before she could even continue. “I don’t even go to high school yet,” she said, raising her right hand. “Why does this matter for me?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvmaoGdlyB
“Because, I want you to be, Evelyn,” Haven instructed. “Could you just listen, please?” If there was one thing I’ve learned about Haven over the years, is that she always clenches her fists together when she’s beginning to get mad. Usually, she never did this because of me, probably just because things aren’t going her way.
Evelyn crossed her arms, sitting back in her chair. “Fine,” she muttered. “Talk.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVktRykS7Wu
Haven nodded, moving her eyes away from Evelyn. “So...apparently, the principle of of Oakwood High thinks that all of us need to be friends and that we shouldn’t have this ‘dumb rivalry’ anymore. So, him and principle Greene decided that we should all have some of our students transfer. My mom wouldn’t tell me the names of the students, but I do know that it’s three boys and two girls,” Haven said. Why would they want people to transfer from Oakwood to EastLand? They were two different schools, I thought to myself. But I still waited until Haven had finished. “I’m not cool with the idea at all, but what do you two think of it?”
I was actually kind of shocked, rethinking all of it that I didn’t know about this transfer thing sooner. The whole reason why it was easier to be with Delcan was because he was at Oakwood, and now I was worried about this.
“That’s pretty cool, I guess,” Evelyn said, shrugging. She could seem to care less about the whole situation, and probably because unlike me, she could care less about who showed up at EastLand.
Haven quickly gave her an evil glare before she looked at me. “What do you think about it, baby?”
“I mean…” I began. To be honest, I couldn’t express how I really felt in words. But then I remembered that one piece of advice Eric gave me when I began “dating” Evvie: Always agree with the girl. You’d much rather be on the right side of the tracks than the wrong one. I’ll be honest, it was really stupid advice. But, I did learn this, whoever your dating, it doesn’t matter if you two don’t share the same choices. If they’re wrong, let them figure it out on their own time. “I think the idea is pretty crazy,” I said. “It just doesn’t make sense why students from Oakwood would transfer, and students from our school would do the same.”
Haven nodded, rolling her eyes. “Tell me about it,” she said. “And I find it stupid that it’ll only be three guys and two girls. Compared to our school doing it evenly; two boys and two girls. But guess what the worst part is? They get to come to our games, and our dances. Totally unfair if you ask me.” Haven crossed her arms over her chest, pouting like Emmanuel did when he wasn’t allowed to eat dessert.
“Wait a minute,” Evelyn said. “How do you even know all of this?”
Haven sat up straight, flipping her hair behind her back. “My mom is the vice-president of our P.T.A. club, and my cousin is dating our vice principal. He’s coming over for dinner tonight, too.” I had forgotten about Haven’s relationsons with everyone in the school district. But I knew that my sister would take full advantage of it.
“Oh…” she said, dragging out the word. “That explains why you’re the captain of the cheerleading squad, and why my brother never gets in trouble for anything. Got it.” I glared at her, and she looked back at me, shrugging.
I shook my head. “Not cool, Evelyn,” I said. “Stop it.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuepOvM20aN
She rolled her eyes. “Why are you telling me to stop?” she asked. “When is the rest of the school finding out about this transfer thing?”
Haven shrugged. “My cousin said that everyone should hear about it either from Instagram, or at the game tomorrow against Oakwood, so both of the schools know about the transfer. But they still aren’t saying the kids names. Something about one of the Oakwood kids wanting to keep it private.”
Well that’s just great, I thought to myself. We won’t know the kids names until Monday. Perfect.
“Okay, whatever. I don’t even know why I needed to know about any of this,” Evelyn said, her voice grumpy. “I don’t even go to EastLand High for full time, and I’m thankful for that.”
Haven furrowed her eyebrows. “And why’s that?” she asked.
Evelyn looked at her, and just by the look she was giving, I knew what she was about to say. Don’t do it, I wanted to say. Do. Not. Say. It. “Why else? Because of one, you can’t handle sharing things, and two, your entire fake-⟴ life is there. And I wouldn’t even survive if I was around you all day.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHhdjfnmVP
She said it.
I looked at her. “Since when did you get permission to cuss?” I asked. In our house, once you got older than fifteen, you were allowed to cuss all you wanted to, if Dad gave you permission. I was given permission when I was fifteen, while Eric was allowed to start cussing in front of Mom and Dad. But Evelyn hasn’t fully been given rights yet.
But still, Evelyn looked at me. “They don’t know that I am,” she said. “But everyone has secrets, Ezra. Even you.” I looked at her, and was about to go haywire on her, but before Haven could even ask what my secret was, Evvie walked in.
“Everything cool?” Evvie asked, looking around the room at all of us, each and every one about to pounce on each other like we were animals.
Haven nodded, smiling to her. “Yup,” she said. “Everything’s great. Just fantastic.” Haven was one of those girls that people usually assume as a horrible person, though truly, she isn’t. Just like I do, she has a lot of layers to her before you realize her real personality. But, she had her walls up now. And her face was showing it all.
“That’s...nice.” Evvie said, she began avoiding eye contact, something she always did when she felt in an awkward situation. There were maybe two seconds of silence before Evvie cleared her throat. “Ez, can I talk to you?”
It might sound rude, but I wanted to say no, and I thought that shaking my head would mean that. But Evvie didn’t get the hint. The main reason I couldn’t leave was because I had no clue what Evelyn and Haven would begin fighting about while the two of them are alone.
“I really don’t think that I should-”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbnFapUQfI
“No, go, babe,” Haven said. “I’ll get out of here so I don’t need to worry about your sister. Be in the living room if you need me.” After glancing at my sister, Haven was about to leave the room before she turned back around and pulled me to her, kissing me on the lips. Since I was startled by her doing so, it took me half a second to kiss her back. But all that was even going through my head was Delcan, and when he would compliment me, then quickly kiss me. I liked it when we did that.
And I hated myself for it.
I pulled away from her then after Delcan’s name had popped into my head a second time, and she smiled to me. I smiled back, feeling the guilt run through my body, then took Evvie’s hand and went downstairs, going outside.
My family and I were fortunate enough to have a good house, and on top of that a good backyard. We had a pool, which went from shallow to deep (like 8 feet deep), and lounge chairs. There was also an area where tanning was available, though I never really used it that much.
Okay, I do. But only because I’m pretty pale without it.
Evvie and I sat down on the lounge chairs, and Evvie burst out in laughed. I looked at her, angrily. “What?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwm8hk8qV0e
“Nice kiss.” she said, pushing her hair out of her face, which had fallen while she was laughing at me.
I nudged her. “Not cool,” I declared.
Evvie rolled her eyes and then sat back, not keeping her normal posture. “I’m sorry,” she said. Oh, now she feels sorry about something. “About what I told my mom. That wasn’t even my business and I had no right to tell her any of that. But my dad already knew, and he was planning to tell my mom soon, so I thought that I’d be able to tell her before he did.” Because she was so close to tears, I felt bad being mad at her now. I couldn’t even feel rage towards her anymore.
Though it annoyed me that she was revealing my secrets, she was just trying to help, and I was trying my best to realize that. I couldn’t stay mad at her forever, obviously. I pulled her into a hug and that’s when the tears became to come out of her. She cried on my shoulder, and for the first time in a long time, I let her.
“Shhh,” I said, stroking her hair like she was my younger sister. “It’s gonna be okay. Calm down, I’m not mad anymore.” Evvie looked up at me and smiled, wiping her eyes. She nodded slowly, then wrapped her arms around me again. Because I was thinking of him earlier, Delcan was in my head again.
I pulled away from Evvie quickly and turned my head the other way, trying to push away all of the thoughts. His laughter. His smile. The feeling I got everytime he confidently walked into a room. All of it, I was doing my best to push it away. But sometimes, it got really hard.
Evvie put her hand on my shoulder. “You know it’s okay, right?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEXpejuUxM
I didn’t look at her. I kept my head away, looking at the nicely trimmed grass and the cobblestone close to it. “What are you talking about?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjK9H0JBuGy
“Look,” Evvie said, taking in a deep breath of air. “I know you might’ve heard this a thousand times, but...it’s okay if you like guys. Nothing is wrong with that. You’re human, Ez, and no human is perfect. Just because you don’t date the opposite gender as you doesn’t mean that there’s something...wrong with you, and it doesn’t mean you’re any different from Eric, or Evelyn, or me. And it surely isn’t something you should be hating yourself for.”
I nodded, though still kept my eyes away from her. I knew that she was right, and I knew that my brother was right about everything he told me too. But, though I’ve been putting myself through literal ⟴, I couldn’t help it. I knew that others were never really happy in lives, I mean, no one’s perfect. But what’s wrong with me is something that can’t be changed by going under the knife. “I’m aware,” I muttered. “It’s just-”
“No,” Evvie said, her voice sounding so strong that it made me close my mouth and look at her this time. “I know it might seem like the hardest things, considering your parents, but because of it, over the past few years, you’ve been different.”
I laughed, but it came out without any meaning. “Evvie, I-”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBElnDnQuYo
“Listen to me, Eza,” Evvie demanded. “You act different now. You push others away from you because you’re afraid of what your parents would think of it. And you put people like Haven and I in horrible situation to ever believe you would like us. You’re an amazing guy, Ezra. And I realize that. But you push others away because you won’t want to realize that. I know this, and so does Delcan. Why can’t you just let go?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnv2WuksL4
Nobody ever understood what I went through. No one understood what it was really like at home. All the pressure, everything, every single rule that tells me I can’t be with someone who actually makes me feel good. And I don’t even truly know who to blame for it. When I didn’t answer for a few seconds, Evvie continued talking.
“Your parents don’t define who you are as a person. They’ll change you all they want, but you know who you truly are. You know that inside, you have some feelings for Delcan, and you know for a fact you don’t love Haven. Your Dad can’t tell you what to do with your life. He might try, but then you’ll lose control. And, Ez, you’re one of the best people ever, but no one knows that because you’re scared.” Evvie said. I was actually shocked that she could give such good advice, though I smiled to her, because I felt the need to be nice. But, this was a huge reason why we used to be such good friends. Evvie knew how to make me feel better, even when I didn’t want to at all.
“Thanks for the advice, Eve,” I said to her.
She smiled to me and nodded. “I know,” she bragged.
“What’s going on our here?” a voice said. The second she’d finished talking, I realized it was Haven, who seemed jealous and was crossing her arms. I’d almost forgotten she was here, actually. Her face was scrunched up, and I didn’t understand why until I looked down and realized that Evvie and I were holding hands. Quickly, I pulled away from her hand and then watched as Haven walked over to the two of us. She sat down next to me, then, for the second time, pulled me into a kiss. A french kiss. I tried my best not to think of the way all of it felt, then pulled away, regretting it all.
It was too much to handle. I mean, Haven is a girl, and all I can feel when I’m kissing her is how it would feel to be kissing Delcan.
“What are you two doing out here?” Haven asked the two of us, holding me arm like I was her property. She glared at Evvie, and I was wondering how much she’d heard. Did she hear us talking about Delcan? I thought to myself, but then I violently refused to believe any of that.
“Talking about things,” I said, putting my much larger hand over her’s. “That’s all. Are your parents worried about you?” Haven raised her eyebrows before she shook her head, causing her dark brown hair to fall over her shoulders.
Then, she looked down at her phone. “No,” she whined. “Angelica is here to pick up Evvie and I, though.”
I could feel the strange tension in the room between all of us. It wasn’t a warm, fuzzy feeling, instead, like something that just killed me. It sounded weird, but I’ve been afraid of the silence since I was young. Though words weren’t used, it felt like so many things were being said in the tranquility.
Evvie slowly began to stand up, and brushed her thighs before she took her eyes off Haven, looking at me. “Where are your parents, Ezra?” she asked.
“My mom’s probably sleeping, and my dad’s at work right now,” I responded, more than thankful that they weren’t in the house with me. Well, Mom was. But she was nothing close to Dad. “Why? Did you need them for something?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpO4xeuYPq
Just before Evvie was able to respond to me, Haven stood up and blocked her words. “My sister’s waiting. We need to go,” she said. Because her voice sounded so stern, Evvie stayed still. But then Haven sighed, and grabbed her hand. “Come on!” Evvie sighed like she did the first time, slowly dragged herself behind Haven. But this time, after a few steps, Evvie slapped Haven’s arm to pull her away.
“Ow!” Haven cried. But I didn’t even try to defend her, because I knew she was faking it.
Evvie shrugged. “Just don’t grab me and pull me around like I’m a dog, okay?” she asked, her voice hardly having any enthusiasm. “Come on, let’s move.” I had to hold back the laughter I was feeling as the two of them walked away, Haven pouting her lip. It would be nice to stay outside for awhile. Maybe I could just take a quick nap or something-get away from all the pressure.
But before I could even relax, my phone chimed.
I groaned, and then grabbed it off the bench that I’d last set it on. Though I didn’t even feel like answering, I glanced at the message.
Evvie Hamill:
If you want me to come over, I can. But after I’m done getting your clingy girlfriend off my hands.
Oh, and I forgot to say this...but Delcan called me.
Of course he called you, I though to myself. But it got me to answer her faster.
Me:
What’d he say?
Evvie Hamill:
I couldn’t answer it because I actually had to put makeup on, and was dragged here. But he did leave a voicemail. Want me 2 listen to it?
It was moments like these when I realized how right my dad was. “Ezra,” he said to me one night. “You’re my best son. But that naive and curious side to you will definitely get your ⟴ in a sticky situation.” At the time, I didn’t know if he meant it as a compliment or not, which is why I simply nodded. But, now I knew how right he was.
Sadly.
Me:
Yeah.
Evvie Hamill:
Okay. Gimme a sec.
I set my phone down and waited, desperately. The water in the pool was clean, and more still than ever now. I watched it for about a minute, just lost in thought before my phone went off again. Straightaway, I grabbed my phone and was surprised by that she’d sent me a video instead of just saying what he said. But, I let my curiosity get the best of me, and watched the video.
She was right, he did leave a message. Something he never does.
“Hey,” Delcan said. His voice sounded a bit nervous, which I was really confounded by. Usually, he was always confident. “I just wanted to apologize if I came off...rude when we met. I mean, I kind of am-” he laughed, and I could feel myself smile. “But that isn’t the point. I might have sounded like a real jerk, but I didn’t mean to. It’s just that-being around Ezra, my-whatever we are. Okay, I’m getting off topic. Just wanted to say, I don’t hate you or anything. Well-” he chucked again. “Not yet.
“Sorry. I’m really trying to be a better person. Anyways, I just-you’re a cool person. And maybe one day we can do one of those stupid conversations about Ezra. Wanna get in on some of his secrets. Bye.”
At first, I didn’t know how to feel about the last thing he said. I mean, I was still trying to figure out things about him too, but I didn’t know if talking to Evvie would be the best approach to it. Then again, the sides that I show Delcan are nothing like the sides anyone else knows about me. So he’d have a pretty hard time finding which one of them was the real me, because sometimes I don’t even know.
Still, I liked him trying.
Me:
Interesting tbh. He never apologizes, Eve.
Evvie:
Woah...really?809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZ8Wg97lOC
Why do you think he wants me to like him so much?
Me:
Think - we’re ex-best friends. He probably knows that you liking him means good thing for our relationship.
Evvie:809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y6BFbJXVa
True, true. Lol.
So you’re not mad at me anymore, right?
Even though we hardly talk that much anymore, but I don’t want me revealing your secret to my parents to break us apart again.
Me:
No, Evvie, we’re cool.
Thanks for the video, though. Interesting to see him like that.
Evvie:
Welcome, Ez.
Want me to come over, still?
Me:
Yup. See you later.
Evvie:
Bye.
I set down my phone, before I stopped and felt the huge need to call Delcan. Though I knew I shouldn’t have, because I’ve already messed with him enough yesterday, I was truly bored out of my mind. And, I really needed to talk to him about the transfering thing going on.
Scrolling through my contacts, I found his name, and was about to click on it before I realized something about the C section. Truthfully, I had no idea why it shocked me that I didn’t have Callie’s number. I mean, she kind of hated me in a way, but also-if I couldn’t reach Delcan, she’d be my only source.
Shrugging it off, I pressed call and waited for him to pick up the phone. On the third ring (yes, I count how many times it takes for him to take the call), he answered.
“What’s up?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtdibHEx6Q
But it wasn't Delcan’s voice. Instead, I was more than put off to hear Callie’s voice on the phone. Play it cool, Ezra. Play it cool. “Nothing,” I said, relaxing my arm. “Where’s Delcan?”
Callie was silent for a second, and then she began speaking again. “He can’t come to the phone right now,” she said, though her voice sounded hesitant, and like she was lying to me about it. “You wanna wait, or take a message or something?”
“I can wait,” I said, beginning to allow myself rest again. Also, I really needed to talk to him about this transfering school thing going on. And once all that was over with, company is never bad to have.
Callie sighed. “Don’t expect me to condolence you,” she said.
“What were you in jail for?” I asked. The second the words fell out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back, though I knew that wasn’t really how it worked. Great going.
Like I’d expected, it took Callie a second to even answer. Though it might’ve been pretty rude to ask, I don’t think it’d be wrong to become curious of things. My guess, possession, or maybe robbery. But whatever the situation was, I was dying to know. Like her brother, Callie had a pretty large need for attention, though I never thought she’d end up in jail.
“I was in this gang thing,” Callie said. Oh. “But there was more to it than that.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zStouXliu
Thought it wasn’t at all what I was expecting, something felt weird about her voice. Like she was about to reveal something no one else knew. But Evelyn did the same thing. There was this mid-pause in her voice that made you wonder what they were going to say, and why it sounded like they’d never told anyone else before.
But, because she was close to someone special, I wanted her to open up to me. “What is it?” I asked, trying to make my voice sound more concerned than curious. Callie took a breath before she slowly began talking.
“I called the police.”
I sat up from my chair, fully listening now. Why would Callie even have a reason to call the police? I mean, lots of things could happen in a gang, though-no, I don’t even want to think about that. But, for the time that I’ve known Calie, the independence and strong woman, and no one pushed her around.
“Why?” I asked.
Callie was silent on the other end, and I was expecting her to simply hang up the phone and be done with me, but then she sighed. “I can’t talk to you about this,” she said. “It’s wrong.”
“How?” I questioned.
“Because you’re dating my brother,” Callie said. Then she mumbled something under her breath, and because she doesn’t really like me that much, I didn’t even want to ask what she said. “It’s wrong for me to tell you, of all people, and not him.”
I sat back, not exactly knowing what I could say about all of it. I mean, if she didn’t exactly trust/like me, nothing I could do to fix it. “I won’t tell Delcan.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQp78nQNZMg
“That’s a lie.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHPLUEludf
Nope, this time, it actually wasn’t.
“Alright,” I said, sighing. “Fine. Be secretive.”
Callie was silent for a moment, and maybe this meant I should just hang up and call Delcan back later, because this clearly was uncomfortable for the both of us now, but then she said something that surprised me.
“Do you really wanna know?”
I remembered once when I was five, and my mother once told me that ignorance was bliss. That was the first time I heard those words, and they came out of her mouth thousands of times after that. But if something like this would begin getting Callie to begin feeling uncomfortable, maybe it’s better for me not to know about it.
“Not unless you want to tell me,” I said. “I understand if you’d rather tell your brother over me.”
Callie laughed. “You clearly don’t know enough about my brother.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRRZinJwSr
Slightly offended by the comment, I crossed my arms. “Excuse me?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacM4jD0SBb
“He’s protective over things like this,” Callie said. “Mainly family, but sometimes other things, too. If he found out about what really happened, he’d be hunting down those men right then and there. You’ve got to know that by now.”
I did, but also didn’t at the same time. It was hard to tell if Delcan was actually protective over me, though, I didn’t even know if I was either. We weren’t even open about our relationship, so it was hard to know or not if I actually cared about what happened in public. Though, Delcan was always easy-going, and I was always frantic. So it was hard to tell if there was any real protecting for the both of us.
Then again, I’m sure there was. Because otherwise, our relationship would be pretty sad.
“What is it that you wanted to tell me, Callie?” I asked, not even trying to come back with any comment to say to her.
Because she was who she was, I had a feeling she rolled her eyes. “They were planning on forcing me into...you know.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTJF95gy0b
Again, I sat up. “Wait, really?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvxG5sTDob
“I mean-” Callie began. “They already had before, though I was drugged so I wouldn’t remember it. But, there was this girl there who is related to the guy doing that to me, and she warned me to get out now.
So, I did what I had to. I convinced him that I actually wanted to be with him, and then waited until he was distracted to call the police.”
I didn’t know what to say. I mean, that was horrible. Absolutely horrible. Callie’s fifteen, and not even in high school yet. I wanted to comfort her in some way, though I knew that wasn’t her style. Her brother was the same way. “Wow…” I managed to say. “That’s horrid.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYH35r8hkQ
Callie sighed. “Yeah,” she sighed. “I made a false report, and then made a joke, so I was arrested. But seriously, don’t feel pity for me, I’m sure you feel enough for yourself. Just, know that it’s in the past, and everything’s okay.”
Again, offended by her small commentary. Though I let it slide and moved on. “I feel bad for what happened to you, though.”
“You know,” Callie started, ignoring my condolence. “I’ve never told anyone that before. Not my parents, and not Delcan. And he was the one who bailed me out.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuqFgjvs3U
I nodded, feeling a bit of pride for the (hopeful) beginning friendship. “Did the gang get arrested, too?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0ar6Z7W5S
“I have no clue,” Callie said. “Can you not-” she didn’t even finish her sentence before she just suddenly pressed End. I wasn’t offended, because I knew she probably had a reason. This time, I set my phone on silent and then laid back.
As much as I tried to fall asleep, I still felt bad for Callie. I mean, she was only in 9th grade, same as my sister. I knew she loved getting attention, though I never knew she would o to that extreme. I wanted to tell Delcan about it, though I wanted to keep my promise with Callie instead of breaking it.
Out of nowhere, a wave of tiredness hit me, and my hulking eyes fell asleep.
The First Week:
“Hey,” I said, bumping Delcan’s shoulder to the best of my abilities. It felt really weird, and fun all at the same time to be having these feelings again. But after that kiss, which continued to go through my head, I couldn’t stop being happy all the time.
But even after all these great emotions, he still thinks I’m straight.
“Hi,” Delcan said. He noticed that my hand had something in it and raised his eyebrows. “What’s that?”
I handed it to him. “Find out.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3pBd11MBj
Delcan looked at me for a second before he sighed and began opening up the note. It was a paper that I wrote on Valentines Day, which originally was for Haven, but now was especially for Delcan. Instead of just being lazy and just fixing some of the words and stuff, I rewrote the whole letter, making sure all of it sounded detailed, and sweet.
Haven, who became my girlfriend a few weeks before I met Delcan, made a huge scene about the note. She said it was one of the cutest things someone could do for her, and I took the compliment, like I always did, and then did my best to get away from her. I didn’t like Haven how I was supposed to, instead, Delcan brought feelings out of me I’d been pushing down for months now.
He read the note, then looked up at me. “Ezra-” he began, but stopped when he heard a car honk. It was his mom, who I haven’t met yet. She waved at Delcan as he fully turned himself around and waved back to her. Delcan turned back around, and handed the not to me. “I gotta go. Come over later. I’ll text you the address.”
As upset as I was to have the note back in my hands, he wanted me to come over. He wanted me to come over, I thought to myself. Suddenly, a smile was on my face, and butterflies began dancing in my stomach. I walked home today, feeling like someone in a movie who had just been kissed.
Once I actually got home, I went up to my room quickly before any of my siblings could talk to me. Emmanuel, who was sitting at my door for his daily hug, already holding out his arms. “Hug?” he asked.
I sighed, and quickly allowed him to hug me before I went into my room, closing my door behind me. Though Emmanuel whined, I didn’t have time for it today. Plus, I was babysitting him Sunday. He’ll be fine.
My oldest brother, Eric, wasn’t in the bathroom, which was a first after school. Still, I took a glance in the mirror, relieved that I actually looked pretty good. As I walked back into my bedroom, I pulled out my phone and began texting Delcan.
What time? I texted. He responded almost instantly, butterflies find their new home in my stomach. I buried my phone in my pocket as I somehow made my way out of the house without Mom or Dad talking to me.
Once I arrived, I jogged to the door, maybe a bit faster than I should’ve, and then knocked. His sister, whom I have met before, and didn’t like anything about, opened up the door. Her hair, which was this red-brown color, and her nose scrunched up the second she saw me. I’ll be honest, Callie was a beautiful girl, but her personality cancels all of that out.
“What do you want?” she asked me, putting her hands on her hips.
I shook my head. “Nothing that you need to worry about,” I said, sounding cross. But it didn’t matter. I pushed past her and went upstairs. I heard her yell my name in response, but I wasn’t turning around now. For the past week, Delcan was all I could think about. That kiss in his backyard, it meant something to me. I’ve never kissed a guy for longer than a second, period, and I only began liking kisses from Haven because I was picturing Delcan’s lips.
But we’ve had this conversation before. Delcan and I are just playing around with each other’s feelings. So, it’s not exactly cheating.
I found where his room was and knocked on the door once. “Can I come in?”
“Sure,” he called.
Taking in deep breaths, I opened up the door and then smiled, but he didn’t see it. Delcan never caught me as the guy reading, though here he was, reading a pretty thick book. “How have you been?” I asked. Two things, that was such a dumb question. It had been five minutes since we talked. And the second thing, he didn’t even seem to look up from his book.
Trying to get more attention, I sat down next to him. “So…” I began.
And now, Delcan closed his book. “Look, Ezra,” Delcan said, turning his body fully towards mine. “I liked the letter and everything, trust me. You’re one ⟴ of a romantic. But, you’re not interested in me.”
“No, I am,” I insisted. I’ve had these feelings before about someone, and I knew they were the same for Delcan. I was about to say more, but Delcan held up his hand to stop me from talking.
“I’ve known guys like you before,” Delan said, resting his hand on the book. “You question your sexuality because of one kiss. Both of us just got caught up in the moment, you know that. It wasn’t even a kiss that mattered, anyways, because you pulled away from me....” he paused for a second, his face blank. “But that’s besides the point. You’re straight, Ezra. You have a girlfriend, remember? Haven Bronx, that’s who you’re with. And how could you possibly be with her if you’re ‘gay?’” he asked me.
The words infuriated me, though I tried my best not to show it. Just because I was with Haven didn’t mean I liked her. There were tons of people in this world how didn’t like their husbands or wives. But he wouldn’t even understand that if I tried.
I liked Delcan, seriously. I haven’t had feelings like this since 9th grade. I knew what they were like, and I wasn’t letting it go.
But that kiss, that was a different story. “I only pulled away because your mom came out there,” I said, trying to reason with him.
Delcan rolled his beautiful eyes. “My mom doesn’t care about things like that,” he muttered. “It was just a kiss.” I’d noticed his eyes go from the green color that they usually were-neutral-to a lighter blue. I was making him angry.
“I’m sorry,” I said, meaning it. “I didn’t know how to react. Plus, I like you, not Haven.” My answer was completely honest, just like most of the stuff I said to Delcan. But still, he refused to believe the truth from me.
“You’re just confused,” he said, sounding more like he was assuring himself than me. “Give it time. It would also help if you didn’t try communicating with me.” Okay, he was the one who put his number in my phone, and now things were changing.
I’ve tried telling myself that I’m confused, and that the right girl will be coming soon, but it’s been way too long, and I already know what I want. If Delcan wouldn’t get it this way, I had to try something else that would work. My crushes always stayed secret, no matter how much I wanted to say or do something, I’ve kept my emotions inside. This, would be something different. Hard, but surely different.
Not even thinking, I took his hand. “How can I make you believe me?”
He sighed, looking down at our hands. I waited for him to say something, when I suddenly realized that his eyes were amber. His parents once told me that Delcan’s eyes changed depending on his mood, and if you watched closely, you could really see the true him with just one look.
Amber meant that he felt loved, liked, or was trying to hide his emotions. They could also stand for lying, sometimes, though it was kind of hard to tell when he was lying to someone. I took his eyes as a good sign, and waited for him to answer.
“If I dated a guy from Oakwood…” Delcan began, still looking down at our hands touching. I wasn’t blaming him, because I felt something, too. “Would you be angry?”
Angry, is an understatement. I’m not saying I’d be furious with his choices, but jealousy would rage inside of me, for sure. But, I nodded, still trying to concentrate on his ravishing face. “Yes,” I said. “Are you..thinking about dating someone?”
809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYmRLcLXGg
He smirked then. “I’m trying to make it work.” he said. The words made me feel something, but I couldn’t even describe it with actual words. “How do I know you actually like me?”
809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG1b19OS0m
How could I not? I thought to myself. Delcan was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in my life. Sure, his hair was brown, just like most of the population’s on Earth (naturally), but his eyes. They changed color depending on his mood, something I found quite fascinating about him. His body, well, it was muscular, you could tell that without him even showing it. Or maybe it was the small cut in his eyebrow that always fascinated me to look at. His humor may be one of the things I oddly am attracted to, but something I won’t ever fix. And, he-just had this odd effect on me that I haven’t felt in a long time.
“Because,” I said, trying to hide my smile. “You made me forget my last name when I first saw you-”
809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnxhrqAzjn
“But you remembered your first?”
“Of course, it was a weird place to meet, but I’m satisfied that it happened.” I finished, ignoring his cut-in.
Delcan was silent for a few seconds, and at first I thought he’d want me to leave or something, but his hand never moved away from mine. After awhile, he let out a breath of air and then nodded. “My parents might not be home for some time,” he said, watching my face closely as I tried not to make movements. “Want to stay a bit longer?”
809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYX6Nv66kd
“Yes,” I immediately said, not even letting the other voice in my mind begin saying no. The voice in my head seemed to pity me, but I ignored it this time. Basically everything but my brain was saying yes to this, and I wanted to spend as much time as I could with someone who liked me back. But, as happy as I was beginning to feel with Delcan, no one could know about any of it.
Delcan smirked again, probably already knowing what he did to me. “Alright,” he said. “What’s your favorite show on Netflix?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhNi5daoz9
809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4de36I3ZG
For the next two hours, maybe, Delcan and I spent time in his room on Netflix, watching whatever they still had on their. I was still pretty upset that ‘Mean Girls’ (yes, I know it sounds super gay, and right now, I don’t care), they still had a few good things. We went back and forth on shows, watching something that I liked, and then switching to something that he did. It was actually pretty fun, and some of the shows were pretty enthralling.
After the third or fourth show that we had watched, Delcan was making smooth efforts to get closer to me. I didn’t exactly know what to do, so I just let all of it happen to me, and forced myself to move a bit closer, too. We weren’t facing each other, but the two of us were pretty close now.
I was trying to think of something to do. I mean, what do you do when someone who makes you feel amazing is suddenly closer to your own phone is? But I was seriously try thinking of something that I could do. Should I just continue watching the show like he was? Or, should I be the first to look? After being mixed between doing the two of them, I decided to keep on watching the show.
Then suddenly, Delcan asked me: “How long have you known?”
809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMlez8G3yl
I looked at him then, realizing how close we actually were. “What do you mean?”
809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CHxDS53QH
“You know what I mean,” he said, his eyes amber. I couldn’t stop looking at him. His beautiful long eyelashes, his smooth tanish skin. And the fact that he had a six pack still made me feel all bubbly on the inside. His brown hair was messed up at the ends, but he pulled it off.
He looked hot. Really hot.
“Hello?” he asked, waving his hand in my face and blocking my view. I was startled by the sudden movement, and had to use my hands to control myself. He smirked, but other than that, kept his face normal.
“Sorry,” I said. “What were we talking about again?” He raised his eyebrows, when I remembered. My sexuality. Right. “I found out in 6th grade. My brother was talking about a girlfriend he had at the time when I realized that none of the girls I’ve dated...I never felt that spark that was meant to be felt. And I’ve kissed almost every girl I’ve been with.” I saw his face when I said those words, and I had to ignore it in order to continue. “When I told one of my friends, I was thankful for how supportive she was about it.”
Delcan blinked for a second, then said: “So I was your first kiss?”
“With a guy?” I asked.
He simply nodded, and I shook my head.
“No.”
It wasn’t as clear, but I’ve kissed a guy before. Though, I can’t remember his name, and it was simply a peck.
Delcan nodded, seeming pretty satisfied with my words. “Alright,” he said. I wanted to say more, that I’d never felt any spark at all, something I seriously hate about myself. But, when we kissed in his backyard-that was when I understood the spark people were talking about. And though the kiss was kind of forceful and unexpected from my behalf, I still can’t stop thinking about it 24/7.
“A lot to take in,” he said. “But okay.”
All I could do was simply smile kindly to him, and then turn my eyes back onto the TV. Why was it so hard to talk to talk to him? It’s super easy talking to Haven, because all I have to do is understand her body language and then go with it. But when it came to being with Delcan, I couldn’t even concentrate correctly.
Then, I began to notice that Delcan had scooted closer to me, and was kind of in one of those comfortable looking positions that you’d see a couple doing in a movie. He’d taken my hand again, and rested his head on my chest, though kept his eyes on the TV. Truthfully, I was freaking out on the inside, but I did my best to focus on the show and just ignore how much of a desire I was feeling. Still, he seemed so calm about all of this, like it happens to him on a regular basis.
We had switched to a movie, and was in the middle of it when Delcan said; “So when are you planning on coming out?” I looked at him now, not even knowing if I could give a full answer. Not that...whatever this was is happening, my coming out explanation would have a whole other part to it. I had wrote a list of ways that my parents could find out, too. But none of them ended well.
“I don’t think I ever will.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVJlgzachg
Delcan smiled softly, looking up at me. “Parents can’t hate you forever,” he said. “You know that, right?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0z26ekrlH
I shook my head, moving my eyes away from him. “Can we talk about something else, please?”
Delcan untangled himself out of my arms and sat up straight, kind of looking like someone who was about to give a stern conversation. “No,” he said. “You’re closing yourself away from people, Ezra. And that’s why I don’t want….this to happen. I don’t want to be a secret,”
Of course, I thought to myself. Not even understanding the tone my thoughts had. That’s why we can’t be together. “We were literally just cuddling,” I said, sitting myself up. Delcan raised his eyebrow that had a cut in it, seeming to care less about any of that. “I’m not saying I don’t want to be with you, but-”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAXDu1NXPE
“No,” Delcan interrupted, sounding straightforward. “Why would I be with someone who’s ashamed of me?”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAU2WJMobI
I wasn’t ashamed of him at all. No matter how much of his past I knew, no matter how many people told me he was horrible, I didn’t care. “I never said any of this was your fault,” I said, trying to sound like he was. But my voice came out sad, and like like I hadn’t slept in a number of days.
“So it’s yours?” Delcan asked, looking at me with brown eyes: curiosity.
I shrugged, looking away from him. “Yeah,” I said. It wasn’t exactly my fault thought, at least, that’s what Evelyn tells me. She said I can’t be hard on myself for the family that I was born into, and that it’s harder for me to be out because of that. But, she’s wrong in some ways, because I could totally dis my family like Delcan kind of did...but that would ruin my entire reputation, and sixteen years of working my ⟴ off.
“Why?”
I looked at him then, knowing I had to compose myself. “I like you, a lot,” I said. I could see the side of his mouth twitch when I said that, but I still continued. “And I like guys in general. But with my parents hovering over me like crazy…” I stopped myself before the weakness in my voice could even start, and just shook my head, standing up. “I’m leaving.”809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxRPT047Oa
Delcan’s eyes weren’t brown anymore, now, they were a mixture of green and blue: sympathy. He grasped my hand before I even took a step and pulled me back down. “I want you to stay,” he said, still holding onto my hand.
I shook my head. “My-um, my parents probably expect for me to be home soon,” I said, already beginning to stutter again.
Delcan smirked, then pulled me into a quick hug, which I guess had me thinking. I never really thought of him as the sympathetic type, but his eyes always seemed to be that color when I began talking about my parents. And...I don’t know. Something about that attracts me even more to him.
And it was in that moment when hugging wasn’t enough. I pulled away from the hug, then leaned forward (without question) and pressed my lips against his. He seemed tense at first, but then eased into it, like I was. He slid his hands into my hair, and pressed himself against me as the kiss got deeper. And I’ll admit, I liked it. I mean, it felt...amazing.
But in the back of my head, I was reminiscing the next time I would have to kiss Haven, and pretend that I actually liked it.
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