After school had ended, I received a note from Delcan in my locker. Tu necesidad de ayudar a otros es molesta pero linda. Gracias, Gatley the note said. I googled it soon after reading it, smiling after learning what the note meant.
Your need to help others is annoying but beautiful. Thanks, Gatley.
Shoving the note in my pocket, I made my way down the hall to Evvie’s locker again. Evvie’s head was in her locker, digging around all of her things (probably looking for her homework, which she always loses somehow). Her dark brown hair fell over her shoulders while I smiled at the high-waisted jeans and blouse she was wearing heels. I remembered when we bought that outfit together, her turning to me in jeans and a bra.
“What do you think?” she had asked.
I remembered looking her up and down, wondering if this was normal. “It’s a nice bra,” I told her. “Not that I’ ve-”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmgptWyYTI
Evvie had laughed, hitting my arm lightly. “I meant the jeans, idiot,” she said. While she had pulled the blouse over her head, she laughed to herself. “I can’t believe you just called this bra nice. It cost my mom 50 bucks, you know.”
I made a sneaky attempt to scare Evvie, tapping on her shoulder with two taps before she turned around. Her eyes grew large as she hit me in the chest.
“Why would you scare someone like that, Ezra?!” she cried. I smiled while she rolled her brown eyes. “Sorry...were we supposed to meet for something? I really don’t remember.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEcq6UUPwO
I shook my head, leaning on the locker next to hers. “No, just came to tell you something,” I said. She was still digging in her locker while I was talking, but her head popped up as her eyebrows were raised.
“What now?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQGpHeTOLa
First, I handed her the note. She read it quickly before looking at me. “That’s so freakin’ sweet,” she said, handing it back to me. “If you could find an attractive guy like Delcan with that kind of kindness, hit me up.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUan1WuAG8
“I thought you said you were taking a break.”
She smiled. “Not if he looks like Delcan,” she said. “I will hop right back onto that dating train.”
I shook my head, deciding it would be best not to ask if she was worried about intimacy with guys again. “Moving on,” I told her. She flipped her hair behind her back before looking in her locker again. “I think I’m going to tell someone.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tQB5FdIIq
“You’re homework answers?” Evvie questioned, her head still in her locker. “Because I think I’ve lost mine.”
“No, not that.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhuOCFZtin
The thought had come to me last night while I was still pissed off about Grayson. It’d be better to have someone else other than Evvie who could share genuine hatred with me. And since I had known these two since what felt like forever, even if they didn’t understand, they would fake being angry.
She sighed in annoyance, slamming her locker shut. “Send me your homework?” she asked. I nodded, realizing now that having straight A’s made everyone think I was smart enough to do the homework correctly. “And tell someone what?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJBtGeOqSt
“Coming out,” I said.
Evvie smiled. “Why didn’t you just say that?” she asked me. When I shrugged, she continued to talk. “Is there a reason at all, or are you just in the mood to say it out loud?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cdttz0jsP
I glared at her, trying to get upset, but it didn’t work. “Yeah, there’s a reason,” I said. “Maybe if I tell them, I can find out who burned Delcan’s wrist. They know people from Oakwood, so it’ll work in my advantage.”
Evvie sighed, rubbing her hand on her arm. “Ez,” she said. “You don’t have to do something if you don’t want to. I could look into it, or Evelyn could through Callie. Are you doing this to try making your relationship with Delcan better, or something?” I wanted to be honest with her, but it just didn’t seem like the right time.
“No,” I lied. “You just read that note, our relationship is fine.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXqnyW6LTi
She moved her tongue around in her mouth. “I know…” she whined. “But I don’t want you to just get used in a relationship, Ezie. Plus, my therapist told me not to get violent, and I really don’t want to hurt Delcan because he hurts you.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNz4exUwDs
I thought of what Evelyn had told Delcan in the locker room. She probably wouldn’t be the only one in line. “I’m fine,” I said. “No need to worry about me, Eve.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1af4rWQrO
Evvie’s eyes were showing disbelief, but she didn’t say anything at all. Her smile meant she was trying to change the subject. “So...who are our lucky winners?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmoLcELbh6
“I’ll reveal the draw when I choose to,” I said. She rolled her eyes. “But I’ve got to get to practice before Coach kills me, so...see you soon.”
Evvie nodded and then wrapped me in a hug. Last year, she only would’ve been maybe an inch shorter than me, but now, her head went right to my chest. “I’ll text you later, okay?” she had said when we pulled away from our hug.
I raised my eyebrows. “For the homework?” I teased.
She smiled. “For the homework.”
Once practice had ended, more than half of the guys from the team were already pulling off their sweaty clothes and leaving the room. I hadn’t been paying attention at the very end, resulting in Sam tackling me to the ground. I had brushed off the pain in practice, but my shoulder was definitely going to hurt all day. Landrey didn’t even button up his pants before leaving the locker room, meaning he probably had a date.
I was throwing my shirt over my head, wincing from my shoulder. Once I was finished, I went over to Thomas Wood, who was talking to a guy that I couldn’t remember the name of. I cleared my throat, scratching my arm as Thomas turned around.
“Yeah?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJHIh8tsSB
“If you could find Adam,” I said. “That’d be great.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrT0eyk7lwn
Thomas looked at me in confusion. “What do you mean? He’s not here?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShNvbHMnf6
“No,” I said. Adam had left the second we were allowed to go into the dressing room, not bothering to change while he closed the door behind him. “I just need to talk to the both of you right now.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t steal anything, man,” he said. “Honestly, it was probably Greg playing a joke for some girl.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCoasXdNnN
I knew what he was talking about, and I looked at him blankly. Last week, my underwear wasn’t in my locker, which did bother me at first - but then made me laugh. I had a second pair in there, anyway, so I felt no need to ask anyone about it. “What kind of girl wants some guys underwear?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tLW008Mhx
Thomas shrugged. “Why can’t you go find him yourself?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjNNHqv6wr
“I’ve gotta come up with some excuse for my parents,” I said. “Plus, I’m too lazy right now.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyj943c2DjT
He sighed, putting on the shirt he was wearing at the beginning of the day. “This is a private conversation, right?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ivtc0Wv59
I shook my head. “No, I’m sure the entire football team can hear it. Let’s call them up.”
Thomas smiled. “I’ll find him in a second,” he said. I nodded, twisting my hands behind my back. I didn’t want him to know how worried I was that I would ruin my friendship with these guys. Change is hard to adjust to, and I just don’t want them to take too much time adjusting to mine.
A few minutes after Thomas had left the locker room, everyone else started to leave, as well. I sat down on the bench as guys started giving me pats on the back and telling me words I’ve heard way too much. Good job, some of them said. Better luck next practice, huh? Man, you were kinda off your game today. I would either give a nod or a smile, my leg shaking as I waited.
The minute the last guy had left the room, Adam and Thomas walked in, both of them taking slower steps than usual. Adam’s face seemed to be in full alarm. “Are you alright?” he asked, searching my face for an answer. “Is somebody pregnant?”
I shook my head. “Nope,” I told them. Apparently, that’s what people assume when I say that I want to talk in private.
Thomas walked behind Adam, looking at me with curiosity. “Who else asked you that?” he asked.
“Not important,” I said, rubbing my sweaty hands on my jeans. “You guys know about the breakup with Haven and everything?649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtF8RnTuhd
Thomas gave me a hard look while Adam sighed. “Yeah,” he said. “The entire school does.” I still wasn’t okay with the way Haven was saying we broke up, but at least she and I both knew we didn’t have to pretend anymore.
“Are your parents splitting up?” Thomas asked, sounding worried.
Adam laughed. “It’s about time,” he responded.
“That’s not the point,” I told them both. It was hard to be mad at someone when you agreed with what they were saying.
Thomas and Adam were both still chuckling to themselves before Thomas raised his eyebrows. “Then what is it?” he questioned. “That’s really the only thing I can think of-”
Adam snapped his fingers. “Haven isn’t straight.” He said the words as if he has just cracked a case that was unsolved for years. But seriously, it was pretty random, and a pretty stupid question.
“How about this, I just tell you?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyAhFX4jbR
Thomas rested his head. “That works.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuIVzi9Myo
“Sounds good to me,” Adams said.
With two deep breaths, I said three words a quick sentence. “I like guys.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfw8E2xRd3
Thomas jumped up, throwing his hands in the air like he was drunk at a party. “I knew it!” he yelled. I looked at him once he’d realized what he’d done, wondering if I should be mad or relieved that they already suspected. He sat back down, giving me a smile as I shook my head.
“What do you mean?”
“Let me do the talking,” Adam said, hitting Thomas in the shoulder. He winced from where he had been hit, but didn’t say a word. “What he meant was that it was pretty obvious you didn’t like Haven too much. You’d always flinch when she touched your thigh and you would squeeze your eyes shut when the two of you kissed-”
“You watched us kiss?” I interrupted.
Thomas had stood up in time Adam was talking, and he was searching through his locker. “It’s not like we had a choice,” he said, throwing a shirt behind him that smelt like it hadn’t been washed in weeks. “It was always right in front of everyone else.”
I scrunched up my nose, not remembering us ever being too obvious about kissing in front of other people. I guess we were.
“And,” Adam continued. “Our theory blew out of the water when Delcan transferred here. Neither one of you can keep your eyes off each other, plus you two seemed pretty close on the first week.”
We did?
I wanted to hit myself. I really need to start being more careful around him. And apparently, I need to stop looking at Delcan in class.
“Does it look like I like him?” I asked, my voice sounding insecure.
“Yup,” they both said at the same time.
Thomas slammed his locker shut, clearly not finding what he was looking for. “We’ve been friends for a long time, Ezra,” he said. “I know when you like someone.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKhajQEfHs
“And I knew you liked Travis in 8th grade,” Adam added.
I tensed up in the shoulder when they said Travis’s name. I never really thought too much about his name, I just remembered liking him a lot - even though I knew it would never happen. Then again, it wasn’t like any of it was Travis’s fault. We spent a lot of time together. And, he was always doing stupid things around me and touching me constantly. The thing was, though, I started crushing on Travis in 6th grade, not in 8th.
But minor details.
“Doesn’t matter,” I said, feeling my face heat up. “Just because you knew doesn’t mean that I should be worried. It was in 9th grade-”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXZsBJYYxI
“He knew, too,” Thomas said, rolling his eyes.
My mouth opened and my eyebrows flew up. “He knew?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5wFkk97Wa
Adam threw his hands up in the air, turning to Thomas. “Look,” he said. “Now he’s gonna flip out.”
Thomas sighed. “His parents knew, too. We were in 6th grade, Ezra, it was kinda hard to hide your feelings back then.” I rested my head in my hands, trying to think about anything off when I asked to stay over at Travis’s. There never seemed to be. Wendy Black was always kind to me, and so was his dad. I didn’t even know it was that obvious. “On top of that,” Thomas said, ignoring me. “Every time he would laugh at something you said, your face would light up and you’d blush like crazy. You also always stared at him in class.”
Adam looked at him. “That observant, huh?” he joked.
Thomas crossed his arms, sighing. “I’m just telling him it was kind of clear,” he said. I bit back what I wanted to respond to him with, watching while he sat back down next to Adam, who was shaking his head.
“Do you not say anything because of your parents?” Adam questioned.
Mainly, yeah. Except for the fact that sometimes I just wonder what kind of questions I would be getting asked all the time, or how many times I would be looked at if I even showed a slight interest in Delcan. It all just seems like too much to handle at once. I shrugged.
Thomas raised an eyebrow. “You seriously worry that much?” When I just looked at him, he kept on talking. “My parents were fine with it after a few days. I don’t see why yours wouldn’t be the same.”
“Our parents are different, Thomas.”
He nodded, his hands coming together like he was thinking hard. “That’s true,” he agreed. “But every parent loves their child. You seriously think telling them would change that?”
It seemed like a stupid question. I don’t care what your son's name is. But my son shouldn’t be hanging around a faggot. I told you not to talk to the Oakwood rodents.
Just don’t hang around that fag anymore.
Nothing comes out of teen pregnancies.
“Does Haven know?” Adam asked me. I nodded, giving him a look as he had just asked me the dumbest thing ever. He raised his eyebrows. “Jeez. Calm it. I didn’t know or not.”
Thomas leaned in. “Does she know it’s Delcan?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I guess so,” I told them. Haven knew it was Delcan, and I don’t really think she ever felt the need to acknowledge it anymore after Delcan had slapped her. “That seriously doesn’t matter too much to me. Is it cool with you two?”
“Duh,” Thomas said.
“Yeah, man,” Adam responded.
Great. At least I don’t have to worry about these two gettings upset about anything stupid I might decide to do in the future. “Alright.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZNuadBti3
“Just a quick question, though,” Thomas said after a moment of silence. “Are you...I don’t know - ashamed of dating Delcan? I mean, he’s been with - what - over forty guys, and more than half of them were double his age. On top of that, he overdosed. I get trying to make your parents take the news the best way they can and everything, but it won’t help you at all if they know you’re with Delcan Heslop.”
I gritted my teeth together, balling my hands into fists. When we have practice again, I’m tackling Thomas more than once. “If that’s your opinion,” I said through gritted teeth. “You can have it.”
“It’s not an opinion, it’s facts-”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilHqhWyDhK
“Dude, just stop,” Adam interrupted. “No judging. Who cares though, right? You’ll be sleeping with a guy who’s had more intercourse than our parents have.”
I scrunch my nose, still digging my short nails into my skin. “Don’t make me think about that,” I said. “Also, you smell like my sister. Why?”
There had been two times when I had seen Adam go speechless. The first one was because of me, while the second one was after Eric had done a backflip off the bleachers and had broken his leg and arm all in a crack noise. His face had gone completely blank while it seemed like his eyes were trying to read the other person’s expression. His mouth would open and close like he was trying to say words, but nothing came out. I raised my eyebrows. “What?”
“She was asking me about some homework for her AP class,” Adam said quickly. Keeping eye contact with me, he shrugged. “I don’t see why I allow her to give me a hug for help. She was just being nice to me.”
I turned my attention back to Thomas. “Does anyone else know?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyEoRp0xot
“Not that I know of,” he said, looking at my locker. “Seriously, though. It wouldn’t be too big of a deal. And even if it was, they’d have to get past your 6’3 body before anyone could say something to Delcan.”
Adam furrowed his eyebrows. “What would people say to Delcan?”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhnmeQYeXA
Thomas shrugged. “Whatever they feel like saying to him,” he said. “They’ll probably just ask him about how long it had been going on or something about getting-never mind. It doesn’t matter.”649Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6OKCfoiz0
I closed my mouth, setting my jaw. “No, it doesn’t.”
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