Mrs. Heslop:
Thank you for the information, Ezra. Thanks for being sweet enough to take care of him. Just an Advil pill in the morning if he wakes up and some water. If anything happens at the night please let me know.
We’re coming home now. We should be there at around nine in the morning.
Again, thank you, and I’m sorry if anything scared you.
Throughout the night, Delcan woke up four times. The first two were to vomit, and the third time was to check his phone. He scrambled in the dark, tripping over his shoes and cursing. I didn’t know if he knew I was still awake, so I watched as he frantically tried sending a text to someone. After resting his head on the desk for a moment, Delcan climbed back into bed, falling onto my arm. “Hold me,” he’d whispered.
I did, wrapping my arms around him as his breathing slowed. He’d mumbled something in response, but I wasn’t able to hear it. Before I could ask him to repeat, he was fast asleep.
The fourth time, it was five in the morning. Delcan jolted awake, breathing in air as he did so. I was already half-awake, but his heavy breathing put me on alert. I tried taking his hand to calm him or touch his arm, but he slapped at me and cried out. “I was eleven,” he’d cry. When I tried getting him to explain, he’d swing at me again. I finally gave up, feeling my body begin to shake as he curled himself into a ball. He cried silently, and I watched, unable to help.
“That’s probably what you fear the most, Ezie,” Haven had once said. “Being helpless when someone needs it.”
I did feel helpless. Delcan refused to let me near him, and then he was whispering that he’d ruined everything. “My parents, ⟴ Callie…” he’d trail off before he started crying again. I stayed three feet away from him, resting my head on the pillow and looking up. What hurts the most was the way he was crying, silently, covering himself with whatever he could so I couldn’t touch him. He was crying like nobody had ever held him before, or that no one ever meant it when they did.
I care, I wanted to tell him. The only thing I don’t care about is having a perfect partner. Maybe I did say those words out loud, because Delcan huffed, looking at me with his arms hugging himself.
“What can I do?” I whispered.
Delcan looked at a spot in the darkness for a moment, his puffy eyes narrowing down on the object. The object hadn’t interested me, so I kept looking at his face. Even though Delcan had been crying, it was hardly noticeable. Tears stained his cheeks, and his eyes weren’t green or amber, but his face was calm, composed.
Instead of answering my question, I allowed Delcan to wrap himself around me. His arms went around my neck, and his head rested on my chest. Hold me. I pulled him into me slowly, putting a hand on his back to steady him. He glanced at me for a moment before going back to my chest and kissing it. I closed my eyes, taking in the feeling of his body calming down. “I’m sorry if this...ruined anything,” Delcan muttered into my chest.
Confused, I looked down at him. He lifted his face to meet my eyes. “What would it have ruined?"662Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJ68JgA9fg
“Being my boyfriend.”662Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RxsF1D8sx
I shook my head. There’s probably one thing on that list that would make me leave him, and I don’t feel like he would do it. “Nothing’s changed, Delcan.”
He scrunched up his face like my answer was disgusting. “I...I don’t feel like I’ll ever understand you.”
“You do, in some ways,” I told him. “I’m not too open of a person.”
His smile was soft, and it faded in seconds. “Then we’ll have to change that one day.” He took my bruised hand and examined my knuckles again.662Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWS0NGOwTM
I held his hand and squeezed it. “I guess we will.”
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