->>>誰愛誰？誰又愛誰？這複雜的四角習題，他們該如何解決？
【凌家動物園 III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來
By 喵芭渴死姬
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57-1 .愛或不愛？
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那一晚，一向恩愛的兩兄弟吵架了。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1gYAMZFGt
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一個不被信任的憤怒與另一個不被理解的哀傷，瀰漫了拉文德家的每個角落。健身房裡的沙包捶擊聲響了一整晚，敲得人心慌慌，彷彿每一拳都狠狠捶在胸口令人不得安眠，特別是這風波的當事人。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYpFhRzWTu
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這是泰特斯與貝兒自相戀來第一次真正的大衝突。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5wHkeUxGX
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躲回自己房間的貝兒揪著枕頭躺在許久未睡的床上，用被單將自己緊緊裹成一團，盡情宣洩憋忍一年的情緒。他聽著遠處傳來的洩憤拳聲，不住想起泰特斯在聽見質問時的神情。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdM7VHMzSyi
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『你不相信我？』927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROpH4ZucqN
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不可置信的湖綠眼眸失去平日溫柔的色彩，被抑止不住的震怒與心碎迅速淹沒，最後在他一句句哽咽的詢問中回歸淒冷的受傷溫度，令貝兒的心頭頓如漲潮般湧上陣陣悔意。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bvEB5Rr2G
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討厭！明明他才是滿腹委屈和疑惑的人啊？為什麼現在卻感覺像作錯了事？不過是想要個解釋嘛！他嗚咽地滾了一圈，陷入抱怨哥哥與責備自己的無限循環中，哭睡又哭醒地直至天亮。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhSXhaEOHW
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另一廂，身陷迷霧的席倫也將自己鎖進客房，臥在床上重溫他與艾登的所有聊天訊息，從第一天被凹到帳號後的死纏爛打，到剛剛傳來『老婆，來親一個睡覺～』的晚安吻，都一字不漏地細讀著。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdJcvcLHzD
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愛嗎？不愛嗎？他越想越迷糊了。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvHFqlPdY4
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想著自己將與這人別離就心痛不已，聞著枕邊殘留的男人氣息便覺更不捨放手，希望見對方欣喜的念頭大過於見到對方傷心……這一切，都與當初愛上盧西恩的感覺一樣。倘若這些都是因為愛，他又為何念念不忘那個已逝的人？又為何當他望見盧西恩幻影的第一個念頭是恨不得自己才是死的那個？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAEindxXXi
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他輕嘆地翻了個身，聽見那拳拳帶著憤怒的聲響，便懊惱地敲著額頭。自己傷心自己的就算了，怎麼還害人家好好的一對兄弟吵架了？為何他總是㑹連累別人的家庭？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xRPBlSMd4
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兄弟……弟弟對哥哥的感情，會激烈成那樣嗎？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedEn9tCZQJ
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剪不斷，理還亂。各種雜亂的疑惑思緒，攪得他腦袋越來越沈重，令他這一夜驚夢連連。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ojnHxKlam
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「我擦！這樣不行，我現在連打稿都只能打出整頁的『碰』『碰』『碰』。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvqdl0KjZZ
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「別再說那個詞了，我整晚都夢到自己被泰哥一拳爆頭。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVBCcwHOVd
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「呃，你們……」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoPqdFaHFj
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隔日早晨，也睡不好的凌小兔睡眼惺忪地下樓，就見一對夫妻面如死灰地癱在沙發上，趴在中間的小妮妮連馬尾都綁歪了，讓他不禁懷疑是否自己起床的方式不對？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOpIuUpUzt
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「你・來・啦？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcavwNtvoI
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不愧是多年默契的老夫老妻，竟在小兔踏入客廳的一瞬間，兩對死魚眼頓如活屍見生人般迸出陰森綠光直射過來，驚得小兔立馬一把搶過小妮妮往大門衝去，「我、我們去買早餐！」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRj1QCDW5UH
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小小包袱被褓姆帶走了，兩夫妻便像上了發條的機器迅速跳起來，準備來場家務大整修！927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHDw5V3VRJ
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凌小琥「喀啦」「喀啦」地扭動脖子和手臂，殺氣萬千地說：「大的交給我，小的交給你。哼！老娘很久沒跟他打架了。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYtXXXa9Zc
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「你注意安全啊，別打過頭了。」汪一全也活絡著手腕，為可能出擊的鐵掌巴頭做準備，「那中的那隻怎麼辦？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuusMOwA1Fs
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「打電話叫中二的回來！」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW94tbt2eJy
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「……」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGWeHjJoZt
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老婆，你肯定那「中二的」是代稱不是在罵人嗎？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQXsykY9Au
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭￣3￣)╭♥ σ ﾟ∀ ﾟ) ﾟ∀ﾟ)σ ლ（╹ε╹ლ）927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHIuVCqa52
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「磅！」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBd7NkoRDt
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突然的巨響嚇得席倫從夢中驚醒。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO541dQv92N
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怎麼回事？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDasTlBK528
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他困惑地打開房門查看，聽見小琥的吆喝中似有拳腳搏擊的撞地聲響，頓時便愣了。不是吧？小琥跟泰？這兩個都是打起來很凶殘的，不會有事吧？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjneUmUXdj
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想過去勸架，又想起自己就是害人家吵架的元兇，他便打退堂鼓了，呃……搞不好人家打個架消完氣就沒事了，如果一看到他又火冒三丈的話，他還是別去火上加油得好。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFc6f6dWPYO
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「唉……」無奈地躺回床上發出一聲長嘆，他注視著天花板煩惱不已，最後忍不住低聲自言自語了句：「乾脆提前回去算了。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBaYSpn1sp
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不過，在那之前，他還是得收拾好自己留下的爛攤子。於是，他在思慮完畢後，連忙起身快速洗潄，再拿著遊戲盔往貝兒的房間走去。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaC3kIkPfxX
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「是你啊。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBf03X2QX3
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沒想到來應門的竟是汪一全，席倫稍稍往房內探去，便見貝兒兩眼紅腫地盤腿坐在床上，臉上的神情已平靜不少。汪一全沒多說什麼，先將他拉到走廊上關上房門後，才小聲說：「我剛跟他談了，有些他們的私事，你還不知道，難免會有誤會。是這小子太衝動了，腦袋不清就找泰哥質問，果然是不成熟的笨小鬼。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45EEyRuf4c
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「是我自己胡思亂想，別人的感情事如何，哪有我置喙的餘地？」席倫無奈道。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVq22midBMb
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「知道自己愛胡思亂想就好。」汪一全沒好氣地撇了嘴，才意識到他剛聽見什麼，「你猜到了？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrP7xG8cdA
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席倫自嘲一笑，「都這麼明顯了，還能猜不到嗎？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCtQhY4FZa
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI3WqSgOdi
「呼，謝天謝地，你猜到就好，記住是你自己猜的啊，我們誰都沒說漏嘴。」汪一全鬆了口氣，拍了拍他的肩膀，「你跟小鬼好好聊吧，他現在需要知心大哥哥，不要我這個囉唆大叔。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDy01pDiaEZ
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「我們同年吧？」席倫失笑道。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6JyK4iH9S
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「那小子外貌協會！」汪一全悲憤地抽了把老成臉皮後，語重心長說：「你也是，逃避這麼久，該時候正視自己了。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaovG8homJ
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「……」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4P9Xdzs1vq
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這算是訓話他吧？席倫無語心想。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kb0VpsL8Q
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待汪一全唸叨離去後，面前的房門就突然竄出一顆紫毛頭，賊兮兮地巴眨著仍腫的大眼，「大叔終於囉唆完惹嗎？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuzPmwAojF
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這皮小子！原先的鬱悶被徹底逗開了，席倫哭笑不得地舉起手中的遊戲盔，「一起？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7QVKV7L9P
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似是明白他的打算，貝兒揚起了然的微笑，「好啊。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHGbo0siVt
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在月聆城外會合後，他們就近在森林裡散心打怪採集，話題從隨口提起的小任務聊到還未認識前的遊戲經驗，再轉到現實裡的事。同在巴黎生活過的兩人，自然也談起彼此在異地的日子，有哪些共同去過的地方、吃過的美食、遊歷過的景點等。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaMVkDjWij
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最後，塞倫靜靜聽著喵喵仙貝訴說留學的事，儘管說的人臉上掛著微笑，但他聽得出來，實際情形並不如表面的歡樂。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21RStXZdCp
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即使是曾經再怎麼風光過的明星，褪去「拉貝爾」的光環後，也僅是一個普通的大學生。雖有財力富沃的家世背景而無須煩惱生活費，但隻身闖蕩陌生的國度，學習不熟的語言，在一群同樣才華洋溢的團體裡拼命跟上同儕的步伐，讓這個總被哥哥捧著當寶的驕子越發體認自己的不足，進而被激發更強烈的學習欲與自我期許。生活在渴望卓越的壓力下，唯一能慰藉自己的，就是在遊戲裡與哥哥的短暫相處。然而，恩愛甜蜜的背後，另一份不安也漸生了。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx85gMvvKs6
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「原以為我的遊戲經驗多，而他是第一次玩遊戲，所以應該是我來教他怎麼玩，我幫他解決遊戲裡的問題，甚至保護他。誰知道，他光看系統說明就理解了，不管是任務還是打怪都比我厲害，連PVP也不用我解釋，一次就上手……」喵喵仙貝喚出一大片火球雨後失落地垮下肩膀，手中的柺杖糖法杖發出憂鬱的深藍光芒，「他有沒有我根本都沒差。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnebtXkBPw
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「太過完美了啊。」席倫忽然呢喃道。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEdle2iqzP
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「嗯，除了才藝表演外，我真想不到還有什麼可以……可以……」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoNwiWOJo9
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聽他支支吾吾地不知如何措辭，塞倫便接了下去，「配得上他，成為值得他驕傲的伴侶。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfjwvPsJDh
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「對！欸？」喵喵仙貝驚呆地張大嘴巴，緊張得結巴了，「倫哥知、知道惹？大叔說的？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlmFS5Qkdw
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「我真的有遲鈍到會感覺不出來嗎？」塞倫無奈瞄了他一眼。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSFQv4JE4o
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「唔，有一點。」喵喵仙貝委屈地點點頭，「窩很努力暗示你很多次的說。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bns9u02MX
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「……」塞倫還真辯駁不了，之前他的腦袋到底裝了什麼？肯定是被那豬的笨細胞傳染了！927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5R9i9bAH8
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「反正就是這樣啦。」喵喵仙貝噓了口氣，總算不用再瞞著席倫，便心情一鬆，說話也流暢了不少，「我哥太厲害，而我什麼都不會，我會的對他也沒用，連艾登都比我還幫得上忙。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCpWsGo4N0
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望著那張難得自卑喪氣的小臉，塞倫覺得自己終於理解了什麼。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidrflVn87U
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『這想法每天折磨著我，明明受傷的是你，卻仍那麼堅強溫柔，這讓我更痛恨自己……』927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ga9VSxIOB
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『他讓我覺得輕鬆……』927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qpK359Nrx
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBweba3ZRA
他讓他愛的人痛苦，是因為自己太過堅強，好似有沒有對方在身邊都能走過所有難關……然而，事實上並非如此。若當初不是為了盧西恩，他又怎能堅強得起來？所有的表現完美，都是為了讓所愛的人快樂、讓對方更愛自己啊！豈知，卻是反效果嗎？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0bKL3mO0y
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtsmDa0I2T
所以，真是自己逼盧西恩走上絕路嗎？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1eslYoim7
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwib2ZRSZ1I
塞倫自嘲地微勾嘴角，捏了捏小貓妖耳朵，「去問你哥幹嘛把自己弄得這麼完美迷人吧。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYY4gyGyMs
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMcFUBgDW6
「嗄？槓、槓、槓麻突然要、要問這、個？」恥點低的喵喵仙貝臉紅了，這麼害羞的問題他哪問得出口啊？而且哥哥本來就超完美迷人嘛！當然，最後那句心聲他是絕不會說出口的。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PQpvPJucw
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmKOljPGmz
「趁你們誰都還沒步上歧途，一切都還來得及。」塞倫失笑地揉著他的頭低聲勸道。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EDiqrQr1x
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEm2vJW65Ym
喵喵仙貝沈默了幾秒，便點了點頭，算是領會他的意思了，接著又抬頭問：「那倫哥呢？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFu9zHA4oq
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIp8k6LoaS
這下換塞倫沈默了。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkqkhE7spl
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2uUJAxPlQ
其實，他也不清楚自己該如何，也有太多的事不理解，艾登真的心裡再沒其他人了嗎？包括泰特斯？他們之間真不會有什麼藕斷絲連？但這個假設還牽涉了貝兒的感情，一步錯，傷到的將不會是只有自己。何況……927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFblyA1Gvr
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUauX9yxT5P
『對你而言，艾登只是盧西恩的替代品罷了。』927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1EXUkpJFP
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqg5vQhOJh
『你不愛他，只是需要他。』927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFKYsmtC3C
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiytse9nFdL
「我不知道。」糾結了一晚仍無結論，塞倫心灰意冷地撥弄掌中的史萊姆水晶球，對於未來，他感到相當茫然無措，「對我來說，艾登到底是什麼？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFaQD2ADMM
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGeIIhdgbh
喵喵仙貝偏頭注視著他半晌，才將轉為淡藍光芒的魔法杖收回背後，「倫哥再說一次那個捨摸考驗任務的內容吧。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpN3QhqsbQL
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1IH0WKLI9
塞倫不解地將任務調出來解說了遍。喵喵仙貝仔細讀了又讀後，就仰起一張笑得狡黠的小臉，「嘿嘿，窩們也來去做吧！」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpk25kS9FT
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuhyUzqJOA
啊？他們兩個作情侶任務，不會被泰宰了嗎？塞倫徹底迷糊了。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKGDE5rLW2
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5h2K7R607t
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiuOXXYNbV
ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭￣3￣)╭♥ σ ﾟ∀ ﾟ) ﾟ∀ﾟ)σ ლ（╹ε╹ლ）
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUB1PJncoSp
砸重金去拍賣行買了一整組《超好疵的雪花糕》後，塞倫帶著喵喵仙貝重回《月老越風殿》。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyBzbUp8TR
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwApdsddyJ
「《婚前真愛大考驗》確實可以個別進行考驗，無須情侶同時在場。」紅兜小娃《月老二代》朝塞倫點了點紫髮包包頭，又咬著滿嘴雪花糕看向喵喵仙貝，「不過，你已經是已婚的人惹，就算通過考驗也不會有獎勵唷。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBn7OChqrr
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM64LOzJiMl
「無所謂，窩只是好奇啦，而且膩都已經疵掉我的雪花糕惹。」喵喵仙貝堅持道。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouYZ6HttF2
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YePaRaoFE
塞倫好奇問：「你進去也只會看到他吧，何不直接下線去找他？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSDV5luBGA
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHXiVi0YQA
喵喵仙貝撇過微紅的臉，「我有我的目的。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bxf4Tyo3P
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7t5l0tEd1I
塞倫見狀，便沒再多問，明白對方想說時自會告訴他，現在還不如先擔心自己的事。他望著已近在眼前的小橋盡頭，遲疑地問：「這樣真的行嗎？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJcpUks3cQ
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBdHOEC2Gj
「哪裡跌倒就要哪裡站起來，越是不敢面對的越要用力瞪，才能把它打跑。」喵喵仙貝說得頭頭是道，也不覺自己亂改造了什麼句子，「況且，還能比你最慘的時候更糟嗎？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzjxkpwP1v
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLzgm9Zzy4
呵，還真無法反駁啊。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfUvNn6rm3
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn488uH4i1
這時，塞倫的眼前跳出詢問面板：『請問您是否接受玩家肉盾阿弗羅的《愛的呼喚》傳送？』他猶豫了會後，伸指按下《否》。在弄清楚心意前，他暫時無法面對那傻笑喊自己老婆的人。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eJuJmxISQ
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQfMGcKlLR
於是，一條密語便傳給了喵喵仙貝。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQk7kgY4Sv
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYxdZh7yJT
『【私密】偏向唬爛行對您悄悄說：組！』927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzucvfULjQq
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIOeP1xbkV
喵喵仙貝不疑有他地將人加進隊伍後，唬爛腐味四溢的嗓音就在隊伍頻道響起，「喂！你們兩隻小受窩在哪裡幹啥？怎麼位置都顯示問號？老娘跟你們警告啊！受受相親是建立在其中一個可攻可受的先決條件上，你們兩都是底層受，在一起是不會有好結果的，懂嗎？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLWpgm85r1
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Fdr59xFmE
「……」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pdCbNGGaR
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6uELP3T9I
塞倫無語了，喵喵仙貝立刻炸毛脫口爆出：「窩們只是在做考驗任務啦！臭小琥姊！」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTw4YsAKHR
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4REMhe9uwm
「喔，考驗任務啊。」半晌後，唬爛才又說：「好啦，那先不吵你們了。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxgSb7Tw1h
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsOri2zgWz
「哼哼哼！」喵喵仙貝哼哼唧唧著，塞倫則滿腹愁思，誰也沒意識到自己被套出了所在地。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBst2LK6PBA
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLmBlvgqbb
「到啦，走進樹下就開始任務嚕。」月老二代小娃說道。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Su5jcLSti
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Jc5GCyTvY
聽聞指示後，兩人深吸一口氣，紛紛走進姻緣樹的幻境裡，開始各自的考驗。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgON7zWOen
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPz5Aw6tDYi
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOJppKhPUg
時間回到稍早前，今天的蒙達菲家也很不平靜。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQ9eIFchhR
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6iHwXNkGi
經過一整天的宿醉煎熬後，艾登終於完全清醒了。正當他要回拉文德家找親親老婆時，就被爺爺抓去打太極培養祖孫默契，打完太極又被爺爺揪去一起溜狗增進祖孫情誼，溜完狗清完狗屎，接著被爺爺要求留下共進早午餐，直到艾登的媽媽——蒙達菲家的女王——看不下去，拍桌使出咆哮功：「你個頭殼裝屎的老頭別害我兒子又被甩！」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsyRct6CNa
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLihgZY39Ik
「被甩？」艾登愣地望向爺爺高深莫測的腹黑臉，才驚覺大事不妙，喔不！小倫老婆！927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUjufigeD2
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fkn6tnuKl
於是，在全家一陣雞飛狗跳後，深怕席倫因此誤會自己而跑掉的艾登火急跳牆之下，竟真的直・接・跳・牆・了。滿腦子只想著快跟小倫解釋清楚，他連手機都忘了帶，家裡有司機都忘了叫，竟用兩腿火速往拉文德家狂奔。好在兩家距離不算太遠，跑個四十幾分鐘就到，外加中途喘氣五分鐘。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBTYCPmTry
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gu9zT04ud
誰知道，當他氣喘吁吁、兩腿發軟地踏進拉文德家大門時，就驚見怒火中燒的黑面泰魔神迎門殺來，嚇得他差點跪地哭吼：「大哥不要，上帝在看！」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvF0U7F9JEj
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtpQ9t8od2
泰特斯不由分說地一把抓住他的衣領，將爆滿十字筋的俊臉湊過去，夾帶風雨欲來的殺氣低吼：「說！你現在對我是什麼感覺？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMny2MSBfV
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpT9mwA6LfR
「我、我、我、我現在對泰只有想說殺人會坐牢的感覺。」艾登真心差點魂飛了。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6wOH1JDGI
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tq6336kbb
於是，黑面魔神的臉更黑了，滿頭大汗的汪一全立馬派出女漢紙攔住他的拳頭後，好心地幫忙解釋：「泰哥是問你還有沒有在喜歡他，單戀暗戀那些什麼的。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5lEZODedt
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIquuZjLHQ
豈知，艾登一聽，竟虎軀一震，如遭雷擊地吼了聲「什麼？」後，驚呆了半秒，才激動地哭喊：「泰啊！我現在已經有小倫了，只愛他一個啊，你不能喜歡我啊！我們只能是好哥兒們而已了啊，泰！對不起，你好不容易喜歡上人了，我卻必須拒絕你讓你失戀，嗚嗚嗚，太可憐了，天啊！泰的命好苦啊！為何泰的感情路這麼崎嶇啊？嗚嗚嗚，上帝啊！」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuepHYXPpcQ
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWqiXvYtkO
「……」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRqUgcfI38
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuj6geqsiHK
現場頓時一片沈默，除了某豬頭的哭嚎外。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnllOevmqUE
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVwIqWR85e
泰特斯陷入了深深的矛盾中，既為確定這混蛋沒再對自己抱有妄想而感到放心，卻又為這白癡的誤會而想一掌捏爆那顆蠢頭，以致於整個人就有如NPC小黑遇到喵喵仙貝般——當機了。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgI6HNrNr9
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVmCB7IdLl
凌小琥率先鬆開泰特斯的手，眼神已死地說：「消滅他吧，老娘再幫倫哥找個聰明點的。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgYuIvPt6o
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWb9seRxE9
「殺人要坐牢。」換汪一全只想說這句話了，我擦！這頭豬到底是怎麼追到阿倫的？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFFIDkdF9e
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbBNq3RQDB
過了好半天，當機的人終於重啟恢復運作，搞不清楚狀況的豬頭也終於接對腦神經，兩人便要去把自家老婆找來，開一場四人小會談，好好澄清「兩攻相遇未必有一受，但一定有豬會被宰殺剝皮分解」的真理。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NXTtzaEjW
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7DubIMTNu
結果，他們卻在貝兒的房門上看到一張殺無赦令——『謝絕拜訪，不然咬死你！O皿O#』927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNm5SSLndwm
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pwuLAgIrE
看來「要想追老婆，就上奧普斯」這話絕不止是官方的廣告詞了！927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2jTu9GwaK
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKnj4rN36K
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDhAyIjXj6
「考驗任務，知道是哪嗎？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuEyYjNJoJ
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OVYjiKVNI
一聽到唬爛套出來的線索，肉盾立即就明白了，還順道解釋了遍考驗內容，「……就是這樣，對了，小倫去做我能理解，小貝兒幹嘛也去做呀？」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybX0ph7IHq
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvqhOVvpQO
泰迪熊沒有回應問題，只丟下一句話就抓起肉盾的後領，跳上仙雲趕往《月老越風殿》，也不管有沒勒著人家，「有件事要告訴你。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj83jWG6g6r
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbqKovhUDv
「什、什麼……事……呃啊啊啊？」被勒得翻白眼的肉盾趕忙調整好位子。此時沒其他人在，兩人說的自然是母語英文。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJrzDCV4MU
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6WMIkZTMB
「我愛貝兒。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvqy7d0FCO
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5QkDdoXwH
「誰不知道你這弟控最愛小貝兒啦？哈哈哈！」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XO82P42wF
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3BRM6xOVK
「……我跟貝兒在一起了。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFMzMB5Ftb
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hCVaHQhMu
「喔，你們一放假就天天黏在一起，這我也知道啊。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5xcSHUVam
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfukzNE0Isg
「……我跟貝兒在義大利結婚了。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEz0uO29sxe
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcI4y0afWs6
「對呀，我知道你跟小貝兒在義大利玩得很開心啊！（註：結婚與開心的英文發音相似）」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiM7h5XbRK1
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0Oh9kQz8E
「……」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGJVg8HOAi
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcH9JeQQud
泰迪熊徹底敗了，到底自己是怎麼跟這蠢死的豬做多年朋友的？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3czXPyvxR
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSJzUvTASe
到了月宮，依舊是《月老二代》小娃來招待。只見他笑咪咪地伸出兩隻小短手，「雪花糕。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltvDwlVlWn
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPPnQ4GZy5
「啊，我們是來找人，沒有要做任務啦。」肉盾立刻解釋道。927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qYaUmwxg5
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZtvtNwKMV
「進姻緣林也是要繳費。」月老二代小娃將手又往前伸，笑得嬌憨可愛，「《超好疵的雪花糕》。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoc1CUdEvzW
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKdig5CMMJ
肉盾為難地抓抓爆炸頭，「這樣啊，那我們先去買再……」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ768cPf33L9
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「不必。」泰迪熊直接掏出一把奧客幣放在小娃手上，冷聲道：「自己去買，別浪費時間。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuuop6N9f6
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaUq0wdgKV
月老二代小娃愣地盯著泰迪熊的臉半晌，「好吧，看在你很帥的份上。」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvSYxM88SV
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「……」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbEBaaz2NF
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「……」927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuHl1iHZMG
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還可以這樣？這遊戲的NPC懂不懂什麼叫原則啊？927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEu3v4Q8Wt
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927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycyVMdTNHX
ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭￣3￣)╭♥ σ ﾟ∀ ﾟ) ﾟ∀ﾟ)σ ლ（╹ε╹ლ）
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rX6H6BUdS
後記：
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說好的催淚虐心呢？艾登一出場就歪氣氛是腫磨肥事？（抹臉927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuIr1fNSiC
這腦袋只有一根腸子通肛門的傢伙實在好難走什麼深度風啊……OTZ927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk65BJ7OM26
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY14ECBDUVI
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsJEp58woG
P.S.才不說月老二代小娃的真身是誰AWA（＃＃927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsvSG4CiCH
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAsdXFyjep
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡud8KbZOIFM
【下篇預告】《放開我老婆！》：小倫再次挑戰考驗。字數約三、四千，禮拜五早上發。 927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRH6op3UO2
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Q2BxATobF
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Cx2J5xd94
★【凌家動物園系列】
1.花心豹吃兔計畫 — 付墨X凌小兔 （作品名：小兔不吃回頭草）927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuKhUdNYTS
2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾 （作品名：恃寵而傲嬌）927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mpOQcE8Ug
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫 （作品名：爆炸頭不要來）927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQ6JiVBayp
927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaBotNoLec
歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPOwvCphee
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噗浪：http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnQGtSQiuP
FB粉絲頁：https://www.facebook.com/meowbarksky927Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPZbxgwmtZ
by 喵芭渴死姬 / 06.14.2016
ns 15.158.61.6da2
