Chapter 16 (Fragments)
Leo ate his salad, I picked at mine. “How did you meet?”
“We grew up together. His mother was a…lady that raised me, nursed me and cleaned the house.”
“That’s a long time span to love one man. When did you know? If I am being inappropriate, tell me to shut up, I am not asking because he was as you so poetically put it, black. I am asking because you have loved him all your life. I couldn’t love one of my wives for a day.”
“I think I always knew; I just didn’t know what it was. I think when I turned sixteen, I knew for sure, because when we were apart, I wasn’t myself. And in time he told me, he was lost without me.”
“If my calculations are correct, this was during the Segregation era?”
I nodded. “Yes, indeed it was.”
“You have courage and heart. How did he pass on?”
I sipped my drink, I don’t recall if it was orange juice, my mind was in a whirlwind.
“We had been married. It was only a few years after, he received his freedom. One of his labourers didn’t agree with our life-style. He was the chief of his tribe. The man assaulted me, and threatened me. I understood most of what he said. I don’t know how the man died. Word spread like wildfire and five men, sought vengeance, and to rape me. My husband fought them, in our living room, they got away, but he was stabbed in the chest with a machete.”
Leo dabbed at his eyes, I had not noticed his tears. “I apologise, I shouldn’t have asked.”
“Don’t, you and Emily are rare, you have not looked at me with distaste. She wept when I told her. Thank you.”
“Come, we shall take a walk.” He paid, took my elbow and we walked to a museum.
I told him about the wars, as I had told Inkosi, I was difficult to say his name, it’s still difficult. It makes it real. If one does not have a name, it’s easier to forget.
“Was he a handsome man?” I nodded.
“I believed he was sculpted from marble; he was a very handsome man.”
Leo moved closer. “May I ask a personal question?”
I blushed. “By all means, I believe we are on the cusp of breaking the law of etiquette anyway.”
Leo was visibly trying to form the words. “Are they as superior as I have heard?”
“Yes, they are. The beauty of it is, they aren’t aware of it.” We giggled for a while.
“I say this sincerely; I am sorry for your loss. Do you have a photo of him?”
“I threw it out and the bottle of sand I had, sand from his land. I couldn’t look at it anymore.”
We walked around the museum. Leo would glance at me, and I would giggle.
“I watched a re-run of M.A.S.H, the other night, I have never watched it. I found this channel that only shows old shows. Things I had heard of, like Knight Rider and Magnum PI. I am fascinated. I can’t get enough.” Leo cocked his head.
“He wouldn’t allow a television set?”
“No, not him. Sir Atkinson. He believed it was improper for a lady to watch that box.”
We had tea at the cottage. “I love your home; I would give up mine in an instant to live like this. As for your beast, he is a handsome devil. I met Sir Atkinson briefly before he left for Africa. One would have presumed he owned the place. He sure had an air about himself. I disliked the little toad the day I laid eyes on him. How did you come to marrying him?”
“Arranged.” Leo nodded. “Yeah, all three of mine as well. My parents had this misconception, that marrying into wealth was the answer to all your prayers. If one is not compatible, all the darn money in the world shall not fix it.”
“Nichole, thank you for sharing your tale with me, it could not have been easy. I respect you, admire you, I envy you. I like you, more than I have liked anyone. I know I am not a young man, nevertheless. I would like to court you, if you would have me. Grey toes and all.”
“Grey toes, I cannot say no, such a fetish I have can now be fulfilled. I think my answer has to be yes.” Leo pulled me closer. I have not held a man in ten years, I have missed the feeling, more than I have permitted myself, the truth.
“You smell nice.” I smiled up at him. “I shall say this, and never again speak of him. The day I said that to him he laughed at me. Thank you for the compliment.”
“Nichole, he is part of you, speak freely, I cannot deny you his memory, it’s the only time your eyes smile. I hope I can remedy, some of your pain. I shall never presume to take his place. Nevertheless, I want to know him as you did. It saddens me, when you are sad.”
“Thank you Leo.”
He took the tray to the kitchen. “Would you like to see my home? Or do you need to rest?”
“I need to bathe; it eases the pain. I shall love to see your home.”
I changed, it was getting cold. Leo was petting Tiger when I entered the living room.
“You look lovely.” I thanked him. We drove quite a distance. What my eye saw, left me speechless.
“This is your home?”
“One of many. I like this one the most. It has a rustic feel to it.” A butler opened the door.
I stepped into a palace. “They say its haunted.”
I looked around me. “That I can believe. Have you ever seen…” We walked along the long passages. I lost count of the bedrooms.
“Yeah, at times I do feel that I am not alone. It has never troubled me. It fascinates me.” Leo walked with his hands behind his back.
We had tea in the parlour. I stand corrected, a big ass room, that was the size of a plot of land.
“It’s not cold in here. I thought it would be freezing.”
“Central heating, underfloor heating, when I was a boy, it was warmed by many fires. In this modern era, one doesn’t need to feel the cold. I still light a fire; old habits I guess. Are you well?”
“I am, thank you Leo. I am very well indeed.” I glanced at him. He seemed so calm.
We sat in a comfortable silence for a while. I was revelling in the splendour before my eyes. Leo cleared his throat.
“I am not a presumptions man, it’s not in my character. I believe I was raised with a sense of moral duties, etiquette if I may. So do not misinterpret my next question. I shall never insult a lady, miss Atkinson. Nonetheless would you stay the night? I may add, you may choose a wing away from me. you seem content. It would pain me to be the one that has to vanquish the warmth in your eyes.”
I had to think on it. I was afraid. Fear has not eluded me. It is my constant companion. Time nor distance has cured me of this affliction.
“Thank you, yes I shall stay. May I used your telephone, I need to tell Gwendoline of my whereabouts and to feed Tiger for me.”
Leo walked me to the telephone, believe me I needed the guidance.
Gwendoline was elated that I had made a friend, she assured me she would give Tiger a kiss from me, after he was tucked into my bed.
Leo showed me the many bedrooms, correction, bedchambers. One cannot call these rooms bedrooms. Each had a huge four-poster bed, with a canopy. We walked around the North wing, the South-wing, the only wings I know of are found on birds. The art took one back in history. So many faces. I am not well educated in the names of the artists.
“To think they all lived. They build this magnificent homestead. They loved, or hated. The lived under this roof. I wonder how many died in battle? It’s astonishing to look at these portraits, knowing all too well, they slept in these very beds. Ate at the same table we shall dine at.”
Leo glanced at me. “I have never thought of it like that. That my ancestors lived and breathed in these very walls. I dare say, you have enlightened me, to what I have taken for granted.”
We dinned in the great hall. I was too afraid to lift a glass. The value of one of these items could feed a small town. I am not that ignorant to priceless artefacts. Sir Harry had instilled the value of his belongings in me, since the day we were wed.
I ate slowly the food was delicious. Finishing school has once more come to my rescue.
A maid, I detest the word had walked me to my bedchamber. I asked Leo to choose. She drew me a bath. And laid out clothes and toiletries. The towels were so large; I could wrap it around me twice.
I joined Leo in the parlour for tea and petit fours. We took our seats next to the fire.
“Do you miss Africa?” I looked up at Leo, he was even tall seated.
“I am not homesick. I have not even considered the idea. I cannot say, because the thought has not crossed my mind.”
“You lived in Rye for a while? Are there relatives you wish to visit?”
“No, no thank you. I believe life is like a river, it has to flow, so life can prevail.”
I bid Leo a good night. I was tired. He didn’t follow me, the maid walked me to my room. I had left my compass at home.
I do not sleep for many hours at a time. The older I am getting, the worse my insomnia has become.
Even though the bed was comfortable, my body ached. I needed to walk to ease the pain.
In the next part of my tale. I have not misconstrued the truth in any way. The homestead was dimly lit. I walked through the long passages. I entered the kitchen. I got lost. And I ended up in a wing that was unfamiliar to me. It was cold, and eerier kind of cold. I pulled my shawl around my shoulders. To subdue the cold that was assailing my bones.
I was about to leave the room I had found myself in. It wasn’t a bedchamber. It was a dining hall, a very large one. Mirrors adorned the walls. Portraits. Busts of those whom had lived before me. A movement in my peripheral made me turn around. A lady stood in the centre of the hall. I knew at once that she wasn’t a human being, I could sense that she was a ghost. She was standing half way through the table. Dressed in a ball gown. I know she was unaware of me. I stood watching her.
She seemed confused. She looked around the room. Walked from one end to the other. I assumed this was the ballroom once upon a time, during the time she had lived here. The changes must have confused her. I watched with wonder, as she walked away, and disappeared through a wall.
I wasn’t afraid I do not fear the dead, I felt pity for her. I wondered how long she had been trapped? Why hadn’t she moved on? Her bewilderment as she stood looking around her at things, I would never see. I was wondering what had she seen? More so how had she died to remain within these walls.
I am not well versed in the ways of ghosts. The books I read where of great insight right now. She was either taken before her time, or she found contentment in being in her homestead, or she was unaware that she had passed on. It’s a Residual haunting. A little part of her had remained here. A visible fact that she had lived once upon a time.
I stepped over three dogs, two smaller ones and one very large dog, these to I knew were departed. They lay sleeping in one of the passages. I stood there for a long time. Being part of this, was out of this world.
It was four am when I finally found my bed. I slept for a while, then I bathed, and dressed in my own clothes. I was splitting at the seams to tell Leo.
I was at the breakfast table, when he smiled and greeted me. “Did you sleep well Nichole?”
“Yes, thank you. I get up, to alleviate the pain. I have been bursting to tell you what I had encountered last night. In the largest dining hall. I came across a lady, not a living one. She was dressed in a ball gown. I have to admit I didn’t see her face clearly. I stepped over three sleeping dogs on my way up to my bed.”
Leo stopped eating. “Poppy cock. My home isn’t haunted. I think you must have been sleep walking. All these images around are incentives to give you bad dreams. Do enjoy your breakfast I shall drive you home once you are done.”
I didn’t eat, I finished my tea, it felt as if he had thrown a bucket of ice water in my face. He drove me home, as jovial as always. I wasn’t. I felt utterly confused.
He walked me to my door kissed my cheek, and told me he would call me later.
“Don’t look for ghosts, Nichole. Just because you hold on to the dead. Have a lovely day.”
I picked Tiger up and held him close, then I cried. I don’t know if Leo was right.
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