Chapter 10 (Fit for a King)
I sat there, trying to process. It eluded me. “I need you to come with me.”
I looked up at him. “Why?”
“I have something I need to show you. Please will you come with me?”
“I don’t think you will take no for an answer will you?” He shook his head no.
“I’ll come, but I need time.” Bloody hell I have a genuine dislike for that word, however I needed time, to process, honestly I was in shock. I got up on very unsteady legs.
“I am not welcome here. So I’ll meet you at my car.”
I nodded, believe me, I was not blind to the truth, no matter what a great man had said, the facts were in the pudding. I lived in a ‘white’ town. And interracial relationships weren’t accepted. I dare say, it might be twenty years later. Or more, and it’s still not acceptable to some people, I do not mean this as a racial statement. It is the way the world works, be it white, Indian or a man of colour, a female. People still stop and stare in certain parts of the country.
As we drove out of town. The roads became familiar to me, the rivers that flowed past, the ocean, especially the old roads, and the bridge that led home. I knew then he was taking me back to KwaDukuza.
Once we were out of town, he took my hand. “I am sorry; I don’t know in how many ways I can say those words.” I nodded. I looked down at his hand in mine, and I all came flooding back, like a river that overflows.
I looked at the sugarcane lands, I think I glanced at Inkosi a few times. I guess to reassure myself I wasn’t dreaming. I knew this road. I didn’t want to ask any questions. We have been apart and together so often, it’s quite a familiar pattern to me, I have not ‘buried’ him, that was a first.
“Tell me if you need me to stop.”
I glanced at him. “Only when we reach town, just before we head out.” He knew what I was referring to. There is a little shop I loved, just on the outskirts of town.
“What have you been doing? How is your health?”
“I, I have good and bad days. I work in a little shop; I was thinking of renting. The owner is no longer interested in it. So I was considering leasing it. It’s not too hard on me. It’s just a little shop that sells baby necessities.”
“Nichole, are you angry at me? I went home, I buried my son, I beat the doctor to an inch of his life, for lying to you. He wasn’t happy with our arrangement, he said I was bad for you, that I was making you ill, so he lied to you.”
“Yeah, I can see he lied to me. I don’t know what I am, just give me a little time.” He nodded.
We stopped at the little shop, I was stiff. “It’s okay, here you can come in with me.”
I bought what I wanted, Inkosi watched me. The owner smiled at him. Yeah, a different world all on its own.
Just before we reached the decent down the winding road, he stopped at the side of the road to buy bananas, a bunch. I watched as he paid with a two-rand note. Believe me that bunch would feed a family. I didn’t eat. Being back home, right next to Inkosi was utterly overwhelming, in more ways I knew how to explain to myself.
I watched the river, the one I had swam in. I looked at the cattle on the side of the road. The huts. The children running around without a care in the world. I use to be one of them.
We drove past the farm, I looked at the house, it was still standing. He drove up a hill, and stopped in front of a little ‘red-brick’ house.
I know he was as uncomfortable as I was, it was so darn hot, I had forgotten just how hot it can get out here. “Come.”
I got out and looked out over the sugarcane lands. Then back at the house. It was built quite close to the blue mountains.
Inkosi unlocked the door. It was strange, I do not recall us locking our doors when I was a child.
He led me into the house. It was cooler inside. He gave me a mini tour, it wasn’t a large house, it was immaculate. Stunning living room, tiled floors, a kitchen, one bedroom, a bath room. No tub. It had a functioning lavatory. One smaller room, he used as a storeroom.
I knew it was his home, all the shields and assegai’s on the walls was a giveaway. I may add, you don’t unlock a stranger’s door.
I went and sat down, he set the kettle on the gas stove.
“I want you to stay, I need you to come home.” I think I blinked several times. He went back into the kitchen. I sat in the breeze, damn it was blistering.
He placed a tray on the table. “Do you farm?”
“Yes, I was given this land, and I do farm, I do other things, I build, I repair, I have cattle and chickens. I can provide for you, there are several doctors in town. Of all races.”
The couches were a mustard colour, it stood in a L-shape. He didn’t have a television, but a battery operated radio stood on the table. He had a bookshelf. I know he loved to read. Lamps of the same colour stood on the side tables. The drapes were almost the same colour. He is a man after all. The tiles were white, large square and cool. I had taken my shoes off; I think I was melting.
His bedroom was in the same colours. The handmade quilt was stunning. I think what shocked me the most, was when a cat jumped through the window, it looked at me and curled up on his lap.
I have a cat, I have had many cats, that beast was the size of a small dog. Calico.
“His name is Tiger; he keeps the snakes away. Or he hunts them.”
“That I shall not dispute in the least.”
“Nichole, will you marry me? I know, and I don’t know so many things, but, I know I need to do this, or my soul will never rest.” I looked up at him. He had aged, he looked drawn and tired. I think I mirrored that look.
I wasn’t sure how to answer him. I was getting hot. I wasn’t use to the heat, I felt ill, as in dizzy and nauseous.
“I need to wash, may I use the bath room? Then I think I need to lie down.” I asked him not to warm water for me. I knew the water from the tank would be cool. He handed me a large towel, and a set of his clothes. I washed from head to toes, I felt faint.
I walked to his room, and I lay down. The room was spinning. I think shock and the heat was not a good combination.
He sat on the edge of the bed. “You are very pale, what can I do?”
“I just need to cool down for a sec.” He opened all the windows, the breeze helped. I knew I was going to be sick, I ran to the lavatory in time. He rubbed my back.
“I am so sorry.” I rinsed my face in the basin and washed my face.
“I’ll be better now.” I took one step and I fainted.
I woke up, not knowing where I was. A doctor sat next to me. I know a doctor when I see one. He was measuring my blood pressure. The doctor asked me if I am on medication? I told him it’s in my handbag.
Inkosi and the doctor spoke in Zulu, I might add I am rustic. I drank the tablet; it was much cooler.
“Hmm, the doctor suggested you stay, the night. He doesn’t want you to travel.”
I wasn’t going to argue, I think if I had to sit in a car, I would puke my guts out.
I ate, bathed, and Inkosi picked me up and placed me on the sheets.
“Are you feeling better? You must eat.” I nodded I was hungry. I heard him start the generator. Pans were clanging in the kitchen. My tummy rumbled as much as it protested.
I sat up and I ate. I no longer felt like losing my lunch. He did the dishes; the radio was on. I think I could hear the Beetles in the distance.
The chickens climbed in the tree, I watched them from the bed. I had to smile, it really is comical.
He had bathed and changed. I could feel the mattress dip under his weight. He leaned on his elbow and looked at me. “You almost scared me white.” Only Inkosi, we burst out laughing.
“Yeah, you and me both Inkosi, you and me both.” He pulled me closer. Damn my heart skipped and kicked, skipped some more. I fell asleep. I am not sure what the doctor had given me. I didn’t have a nightmare, not that night. I woke up many times. He was holding me, it was hot, when I tried to move away, he would pull me closer. He was shirtless, time had not changed that body. There weren’t lace on the windows, the moon was high and bright. I pulled my, his shirt off. He opened his eyes and looked at me.
When he lowered his head, I was in another world, the world only Inkosi could create. He was my world, without him, I was adrift at sea, without a compass.
The birds woke me. I turned, he was watching me. We smiled. “When did you become so bloody civilized?”
He laughed. “I was corrupted by a white woman that stole my heart. A very long time ago.”
He got up. I had to stare, damn. I had no regrets either, what a view. He threw a pillow at me. “Very rude, have you no shame, woman?”
I laughed. “No, I was corrupted by a Zulu chief a damn long time ago.”
He made us tea and porridge. I had pulled his shirt on, it hung like a dress on me. I ate I was ravenous. I felt much better. He really is the cure I needed.
“I’ll drive you home, after lunch. Before I do so, I need an answer, I am not letting this go, not now, not ever. I asked you when we were young, I told you, years later you do not see. I will marry you, not because I want to own you, you aren’t a goat. I love you, I have loved you since I knew that you made my heart soft, whatever my father tried to teach me, was erased when I saw you, even as a boy, climbing through your window. I knew the risk; it was worth it.”
I bathed. And had to borrow his toothbrush. It’s truly unbelievable, how little things can change your entire world. I looked at his toothbrush, and in that instant I knew I would say yes, I think I had said yes, when we were ten. I have never uttered the words. I rinsed his toothbrush, and I stood there looking at it.
Inkosi was making the bed. “Yes, of course yes, I have longed for the day, I have made horrifying mistakes, to run away from you, because I thought I loved you too much. In so many ways, I do love you too much, when I thought you had died, I died, when you aren’t with me, I am not alive. I only exist. My answer is yes; I will marry you.”
He held me for a long time. “I’ll cook, go sit. You are still very pale.” I took my medication. I didn’t want to go home. I don’t know why I cried the second he started the car. He held my hand, he let me cry. I wanted to tell him, I don’t want us to be apart, but my throat felt constricted. I didn’t want to leave his home. I was terrified, fate would step in and separate us once more.
I cried all the way home. He didn’t walk me to my door for obvious reasons. He did write down the phone number of the shop. “Nichole, get your things in order, I’ll be back for you on Saturday.”
I wanted to kiss him, not here and not in broad daylight. I squeezed his hand, I sobbed. I watched the car drive away. I believed I would never see him again.
I went to work, and handed in my resignation. I didn’t care what anyone had to say, I did not explain, I won’t. Inkosi called me on Friday, from a ticky-box. I could hear when he threw in a coin.
I think the call had to cost him a rand in coins, half-cents, one-cents five-cents.
I have never in my life willed a week to go by. The flat I rented came with furniture. All I packed up were my belongings. Inkosi arrived early on Saturday morning. Yeah we had a few death-stares as we filled up the back of his car. Mazda 323. It was lime-green. The good old days hey?
On the way ‘home’ he asked me how I’d like to be married. My answer was simple. In his tradition.
I have not heard from Liam, in years. My list of family was growing shorter. By the day.
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