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YURIM
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At least the constant headaches are gone now.
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I added another folded t-shirt in the neat pile. The living room was a city of folded towers of clothes. On the couch were six separate stacks for my parents, all categorized by material. The piles scattered on the tiled floor around where I sat were mine and Minju's.
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It had been two days since I fell. Thankfully, my family believed my story about my missing a step. I was in so much pain when I told them that they couldn't tell I was lying.
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Mom was the toughest to satisfy with details. She must've remembered what I said about Namjoon and his group. Luckily she rested her interrogative skills when I brought up my pain.
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Speaking of pain, yesterday was a day full of awkward walks due to the bruises on my body. Minju said I walked like a pregnant lady. I made sure to give her a good flick on the forehead for that. Hoseok who dropped off my school work for the second day in a row insisted I stay in bed. But I wasn't going to accept being invalid. I didn't want to miss more days of school than were necessary, so I needed to practice walking with the discomfort. Besides, I'm sure my three days off would be enough to heal.
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Not that I actually wanted to go back to school.
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Flashbacks of that devious smile kept replaying in my head. Including the complete absence of hesitation when he shoved me. Like he was eager. It was as though he knew that it was only the beginning. Was it really? Would my daily life consist of cruel torment until they're satisfied?
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Something in my gut shifted. I swallowed the bitter saliva that pooled in my mouth as I thought about returning to school. More specifically returning to those four demons I could no longer call bullies. They were seriously insane! What else would they do to me if I returned?
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I darted for the bathroom, my hand gripping my stomach.
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Just as I lifted the seat of the toilet, my upper body tensed up. A stream of hot, acidic bile forced itself out of my mouth and plopped into the toilet bowl. A wave of pain pulsated through my back with every forced arch but there was nothing I could do about that. I'm glad Minju hadn't came back from school yet. It was definitely around that time.
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After I was done, I flushed everything down and proceeded to brush my teeth. As I brushed, my eyes fell on my own pale reflection. Beads of sweat congregated on my forehead. My hair laced loosely in two French braids, the two tails twisted up into buns behind my ears. And a good thing too, otherwise they'd have traces of sick in them.
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My arms in its sleeves looked like a popsicle stick protruding from a much larger cup-shaped slab of ice cream. It was no wonder everyone worried so much. I look as though the wind could pick me up and blow me away to another planet.
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Even though my body looked frail, my eyes had an unfortunate but natural look of contempt when I wasn't smiling. They were so empty and black. It's no wonder people avoided me all these years. All of my honest thoughts with such a soulless look probably came across as cold superficiality. What I find to be the actual mystery was why Hoseok and Seokjin weren't repelled by this like everyone else.
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KNOCK, KNOCK!
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I flinched but immediately relaxed. These days, I've been keeping the door locked at all times. Which meant Minju would knock when she was too lazy to fish for her key in her bag. I remained in the bathroom, forcing her to search.
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"I'm busy, lazy girl! Get your key!" My words distorted from the gathered foam in my mouth.
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KNOCK, KNOCK!
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"Ugh!" I spit the excess fluid out and walk out to the door. "Minju-ya, you're killing me," I mumble.
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I grip the door knob but my body refused to turn it. Caution bade me to check first. Just in case one of those crazy guys found out where I lived. I hoped not but I had to be safe. I tiptoed slowly toward the peephole of the door. My heart rate rising. When the outside view became clear I froze.
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The strength in my legs faltered when I saw the three boys standing in front of my door. I ran back to the bathroom where I rinsed my mouth clean. I then raced back into the living room where the heaps of folded clothes were. My hands clawed my hair.
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I knew I should've done this in my room!
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Quickly I stacked up my parents neat piles and placed them in their room. I came back and regretfully stuffed the piles of folded clothes back into the laundry basket and kicked it down the hall. "Ow," I whispered, clutching my back. I was panicking so much I forgot to take it easy.
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KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!
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Taking it easy? What was that? I ran back to the door and brushed any stray hairs to the side. I looked down at my apparel. A simple white t-shirt and dark plaid pajama bottoms, my toes peeking out from the hem. It would just have to do. I hastily wiped the sweat from my face and opened the door to the three boys from school, a feigned look of surprise on my face.
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Hoseok, Seokjin, and his friend Park Jimin stood with pleasant smiles despite having waited. All except for Hoseok whose face was partially present with worry.
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"Oh, Seokjin-shi and Jimin-shi. I wasn't expecting you two." I greeted.
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Park Jimin who I had seldom had any encounters with smiled. He was definitely one of the most good looking boys in school next to Kim Taehyung. But still lacked that level of warmth Seokjin was able to make me feel. In fact, for a long time I thought Jimin to be quite self centered. But perhaps I was wrong. Anyone Seokjin choose for company must've had admirable things about them. After all, who was I to judge when I myself was wrongly judged many times.
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"I know we don't know each other very well. But when Jin told me about what happened, I felt so bad that I wanted to show my support for your recovery as well." He smiled and offered a cute, purple gift bag to me. "I hope you don't mind."
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"Of course I don't mind." I took the gift gladly. My cheeks warm at the thought that someone I barely knew had concern for me. "Thank you so much! It really means a lot. I'm sorry I took a while to answer the door. I was in the process of cleaning."
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"Cleaning?" Hoseok and Seokjin said in unison. Seokjin then carried on with a gentle voice, "aren't you supposed to be resting?"
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"Oh, come on!" I lightly protested their worry. "What's with you two? Even people with worse injuries than me have to go through physical therapy. I'm fine enough to move around, really. And I'm taking it easy, I promise." I assured them both. Before a tireless back and forth could start about my recovery, I invited them in.
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Seokjin and Jimin settled in the available seating. Hoseok stopped beside me and whispered, "now tell how you're really feeling."
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I narrowed my eyes at him, "I'll answer that when you tell me what really happened to your lip?"
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"I told you already," he whined and pouted like a baby. "I'm insulted that my best friend doesn't believe me."
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"No one accidently bites the outside of their lip when eating ramyeon!" I scolded under my breath. But he walked off to join the others, ignoring my attempt at getting answers. "Ugh, this guy really..."
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Yesterday, when he brought my school work, I threw myself in a panic when I saw the scab on his lip. I thought Jungkook had came for him next. Hoseok insisted it had nothing to do with them. But I was doubtful. The timing was way too perfect to be a coincidence. I couldn't take it if I found out that the people I care about are being targeted because of me.
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Especially Hoseok who never noticed the evils of this world. If only he could live out the rest of his life knowing nothing but fun and happiness. I really do hope he's telling the truth and not just trying to be strong for me, trying to bear these bullies in silence.
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"Yurim-shi?"
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I blinked up at Seokjin who had apparently asked me something. "Hm? I'm sorry could you repeat that."
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"You look a little pale. Are you eating okay? Are you getting enough sleep?" He asked.
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"Oh, yes, to both." I remembered seeing my complexion in the mirror earlier. But I wasn't going to tell them I had just thrown up. "Though...I've been hearing motorcycles rumbling up and down the street a lot more at night recently. Always when I head to bed. Typical." I looked at everyone who seemed so serious during my attempt to lighten the mood with another topic. "It-it's not like it keeps me awake or anything but I just think there's a time and place, ya know?" I chuckled nervously.
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Just then the door opened again. Minju was in the middle of singing a song when she saw the living room full of males and froze, shocked. It was something she had never seen. For the first time I actually felt relieved at her interruption. I was doing such a terrible job at brightening the mood.
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"Hi," Jimin greeted in a tender voice.
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"Hi." The middle schooler gawked.
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"This is my little sister, Minju. Minju, this is Kim Seokjin and Park Jimin. You know Hoseok of course." I introduced. But without waiting for an invitation, the preteen sat on the couch beside Seokjin and Jimin. Her eyes not leaving the two. A dreamy smile now delighting her features.
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"Nice to meet you." She said, dazed.
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"Same." The two boys responded awkwardly.
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We went on to discuss the news and the various goings on at school during my absence. Of course all throughout, Minju couldn't help but to interject her own thoughts and experiences here and there. It actually wasn't so bad. At least they weren't talking about me anymore, which made it easier to breath. And most of all, easier to forget about Namjoon and his friends.
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It felt as though I was actually hanging out with friends.
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Minju brought up a story about her friends at our parents Hot Spring Inn. Jimin seemed the most interested which I could tell, my sister couldn't be more pleased. I really wished she didn't meddle with handsome boys. But at least I was somewhat comfortable with this lot. At least I knew they weren't a danger to her.
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"You guys should really book a stay for a weekend!" Minju suggested. "We could definitely score you a free room."
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"Minju-ya!" I warned.
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"Well couldn't we?" She asked with a pleading tone.
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As I thought about it, I realized I had never taken advantage of my position there to bring friends along. Not like Minju had. The thing is, I wanted to. I just didn't have friends to bring. Which sounds so pitiful! But things were changing this year. I don't know why or how, but it was. And I didn't want to let it stagnate until it disappeared.
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"You're lucky your eonni doesn't use her privileges often." I said. It wasn't often that I actually agreed with her on anything.
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"Wait...are you saying...?" She gave me a hopeful look.
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I sighed and looked at the guys. "You all don't have to if you don't want to, but the invitation is out there."
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"Really?" Jimin shared a look of amazement with Seokjin. "All of us?"
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"Of course!" Minju answered simultaneously with me. Except she sounded too eager. I gave her an irked expression.
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"OKAY!" Hoseok clapped his hands to together with excitement. "An over-nighter at the hot springs! This'll be fun!" His hands danced and fluttered as though they were shaking tambourines. His signature silliness made the ends of my eyes wrinkle as I smiled. There's the Hoseok I knew. The familiar feeling of comfort he always brought with him.
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As he continued to entertain everyone, my eyes happened upon Seokjin who had been looking at me. His eyes were filled with something I was too embarrassed to name but was certain I didn't deserve. A faint smile formed as though he wasn't aware of it. Heated needles prickled my whole body. My mind bade me to look away already but my gaze lingered helplessly on his.
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Being looked at by those warm, dark eyes was like drinking a warm cup of cocoa while watching the first snowfall of winter. A surreal sensation of witnessing with a magical sense of beauty while feeling the comfort of warmth. Was it normal to feel so lucky for simply sharing a look?
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"Do we really have to invite him too?" Minju's voice startled me, propelling my eyes down. My heart beat was hard against my chest. I felt as though I'd been caught doing something I shouldn't have. After all, I was so absorbed with Seokjin that I hadn't even noticed that Minju came to my side. She whispered about Hoseok who was now telling an animated story about his own experience at a haunted hot spring.
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I ignored her rhetorical question and chanced another look at Seokjin who seemed to be listening to Hoseok's story. I sighed to myself. I couldn't tell if I was disappointed that I didn't meet his eyes again or relieved that I had time to gather my wits. I sighed.
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All I dared to hope for was to be friends. But I feared there was something new that concerned me. Something that may complicate that simple hope.
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