Everyone and everything is changing.
As someone once said, life does go on, I really want to be close to my loved ones at this time and not have any serious distractions. I guess for this one, I'm counting Uni as a serious distraction. Getting a degree would open up lots of doors, in the sense of getting my writing out there. But it does depend on the current situation of life that you're going through.
At this moment in time, I'm experiencing a loved one having an operation, another loved one with a job uncertainty and a third one looking for part-time employment. One of my cats is acting strangely and then, I have my mental battles to deal with. My sleeping habits have gone back to wanting to wake up early one day and sleeping in the next. Falling asleep by 8:30 one night and midnight the next. Sometimes, I get the same old scary feeling of wanting to fall asleep. But knowing that no sleep means no good moods.
I'm going longer without the need to eat. I'm going back to my old expensive caffeine habits which is doing me no good but I'm craving the energy from sugary drinks. I started trying to do more yoga but ended up feeling sick to the point, that my vision became hazy and dizzy. I'm not watching a lot of TV, as the current news is always dominated by failing politics of my home country. I go on social media for hours, as I'm scared to miss out on exciting updates of new books or close friends posting about their travels.
Funnily enough, I'm writing a lot more than before. But my reading, which is a huge part of my life has crumbled. I'm no longer in a full state of mind to pick up a group of books and sit down to read. I have to start one book, put it down halfway through, pick up another and put that down. My attention span is shrinking daily, to which I don't know how to escape from.
Everyday, a new can of worms open. I'm really sick again, my body's changing and each time I look at myself in the mirror, I physically cringe. I hate everything and anything about me. The cycle of doom is impossible to escape from.
ns 15.158.61.8da2
