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IT’D BEEN A WEEK since I returned from my trip and I still hadn’t heard a word from Bonnie. I don’t know why I expected anything different. I tried to focus my attention on work and ignoring anything else in my life. I hadn’t touched Eden’s Gate Online since I’d been home, but even when I reached out to the group they seemed radio silent as well. The loss of Bonnie had hit us all hard, we all hoped she wasn’t gone forever but with the way things were left we couldn’t be sure.
Mochi was back on his diet, much to his disgust, he spent what little time I was at home with him scowling at me. He was still disappearing to Mrs Bloom at every opportunity he got. Cheeky sod.
At least I had work to keep me busy, I was swamped under the weight of juggling daily emails with all my projects. The new client I’d taken on before my trip finally got back to me confirming they’d like to go ahead with my suggestions. That was more commission I’d receive and something to look forward to.
I hadn’t seen much of Tristan at work either, only a few rare occasions in the break room where we exchanged pleasantries over microwaving our meals or replenishing our coffee mugs. I wondered if Poppy had asked him to avoid me, maybe I was just overthinking the situation.
This new routine continued for a month before I started becoming a machine with work and ignoring anything else that existed in my life, including myself. All those times I lectured Bonnie for neglecting her self care and here I was doing the exact same. I was a hypocrite. My diet consisted of coffee, toast and light meals I would pick up from the supermarket, the same ones I would buy for my elderly neighbour. Despite all of this, I was excelling at work and was in the good books with the boss, I saw no reason to change my behaviour.
My assistant, like Tristan had mentioned, admitted to finding me attractive, and asked if I would like to go on a date with her sometime. As I’d decided to give up on my feelings for Bonnie, and the fact I still hadn’t heard from her, I accepted. We went for coffee one day after work, but I found the entire situation awkward and ended up apologising to her. I felt nothing for her, and didn’t think it fair to lead her on further. All I kept doing was wishing she was Bonnie, that’s who I wanted to go on coffee dates with. No matter how hard I tried, I still couldn’t get her out of my head.
I’d spent weeks ensuring I didn’t make the first move when it came to Bonnie, nervous that her ex-boyfriend would delete my messages or worse, hurt her because I’d messaged. I decided to log onto Eden’s Gate Online on the off chance she may have logged on whilst he was at work, but when I checked our Guild’s history, her character was listed as inactive. She hadn’t been online since we’d taken on the last patch together. I switched off my computer and reached for my phone, chewing my lip and I weighed up some options. I bit the bullet and sent her a quick text, praying she would see it before her ex did, but instead the message bounced, highlighted with a red ‘undelivered’ status.
There were only two logical explanations for this, one she’d blocked my number, the second her number had been changed. Both of them were likely, but my money was on the first, no doubt forced by Vincent to prevent any of us from contacting her. I threw my phone on my desk and held my head in my hands. I wanted to help her, I needed to do something for her.
As I came to my senses, my eyes fell upon my camera bag. I hadn’t touched it since I returned from the trip. On the memory card held the memories we as friends made together. One short week which felt like a lifetime ago.
How many pictures had I taken?
I laughed to myself, scrolling through back pages and pages of photographs. Something in my mind twigged and I turned my computer back on to get a better look at them. I went through every single photo, deleting any that were good enough, sharpening those that weren’t completely in focus and separated every photo I’d taken of Bonnie in their own folder. If I couldn’t contact Bonnie, then I would have to bring her back to her senses and make her realise that the six of us were a great group of friends. That she didn’t need that abusive ex-boyfriend of hers, when all of us would protect her instead. We may have failed her once but we were never going to let it happen again.
For weeks I poured my heart and soul into the creation of an adventure scrapbook. I’d printed off all the good photos I’d taken during our trip, and put them inside the sketchbook with ticket stumps and wristbands we’d collected during our journey. I bought a few supplies Bonnie might like so she could decorate the pages herself in her own time.
It took a lot of convincing but Poppy finally came around to talking to me and that was her suggestion to add to the box. Along with a few packs of the magical girl trading game card they’d bonded over.
Amelia and Jasper sent over some snacks we’d specifically bought for Bonnie, apparently they’d shared them on the trip and she seemed to have enjoyed them. Slowly, as a group we were building up a small care package for Bonnie, a little way of letting her know we all loved and cared about her. After wrapping the scrapbook carefully, I added the vouchers we’d won from the Judge’s award and the small trophy. She deserved them both more than I did, it was only right she had them.
Towards the end of October, I started to consider visiting Bonnie. I’d still not sent the care package like I’d promised the group I would do. But the extra work I was taking on had slowly caught up on me, and was becoming a drain on me, physically and mentally. I’d only a few months to cash in my remaining allocated holiday, and as it was a use it or lose it situation. I decided to finally take another week off for myself, and take care of myself. I couldn’t let Bonnie see me in a state.
Mid-week I decided to finally brave the train ride back to Liverpool, just to see how my best friend was. Just as I was booking the tickets, I heard a knock at my door. Mochi was already meowing and walking in circles in the hallway. I suspect he thought it might’ve been Mrs Bloom.
I tried scooping him up so he wouldn’t dash down the hall, but he evaded me, making me curse under my breath until I finally got him and positioned him under my arm so he couldn’t get away. When I opened the door, I saw the last person I expected to see standing there.
‘Bonnie,’ I said, almost dropping the fat cat in my shock. ‘What are you doing here?’
Shit. I wished I would’ve had time to shower and shave before she turned up.
‘Actually, that’s not important,’ I said quickly, rephrasing my earlier statement, ‘ Just come in and make yourself at home,’ I added. I didn’t want her to leave on the account of my rudeness.
Bonnie gave a sheepish smile and walked into the lounge, leaving me to follow. When I joined her she turned her attention straight to the cat and gasped. ‘Is this really Mochi?’
Even Mochi looked up at me to query her reaction, ‘Yeah. This is him. He’s-’
‘So cute, look at how chubby he’s gotten,’ she squealed, cutting me off. She took him from my arms, cradling him like a baby. ‘I think cats look so much cuter when they’re carrying a little extra weight.’ She gave him lots of kisses and scratches behind the ear and under the cheek until he purred in delight. I shook my head, he really did like women.
‘He should really be on a diet,’ I said. ‘It’s not good for his health.’
Bonnie slapped my arm gently, ‘Oh leave him alone, he’s perfect.’
‘I’ll make some coffee, then I really need to shower.’
‘Oh good, you smell terrible.’
I shot her a glance, ‘Just like you did when I had to come save you from your pity party.’
Bonnie groaned, ‘Please don’t remind me. Just hurry up, I’ve got lots to tell you.’
‘Alright, alright,’ I said, chuckling as I disappeared into the kitchen, leaving my two best friends to get reacquainted with one another.
Moments later I returned with two cups, one of coffee and the other tea, just the way Bonnie liked it. I left her to get comfortable, she’d opted to occupy herself cuddling Mochi on the sofa, while I disappeared to the bathroom.
I cleaned myself up properly, taking more time than I usually would in the shower. I wanted to look my best for Bonnie, especially considering everything I wanted to tell her. Everything I needed to tell her. I wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip through my fingers again. I’d spent too much time dancing around my feelings, it was time I finally told her the truth about how I’ve felt about her all these years. I quickly slipped on a smart shirt and changed my jeans, the ones I was wearing were overdue for the wash.
Bonnie was still snuggling with Mochi when I returned to the lounge, and I felt a pang of betrayal knowing my cat would never sit with me that long.
‘Hey,’ I said softly, not wanting to disturb the two of them. ‘I think we need to talk.’
‘I agree, there’s a lot I need to say,’ she said, still stroking the cat. ‘Would you mind if I went first, I’m worried if I don’t, I might forget what I’m going to say.’
‘Of course, but at least let me give you something first?’ I asked, retrieving the gift box from my desk chair. ‘Look, it’s not much but I thought you might need something to cheer you up. The group and I put this care package of sorts together, I’m sorry I haven’t been able to give it to you sooner. Actually I meant to-’
Bonnie accepted the box from me, ‘You didn’t have to do this,’ her words cutting me off.
‘It wasn’t just me,’ I admitted. ‘The whole group pitched into the idea. There’s a little piece of all of us in there. We didn’t know what was going to happen after you left with Vincent, I didn’t want to see you in that way again. So I thought-’
‘Harley, it’s okay.’ Bonnie said gently. She rested the box on her lap and patted my hand. ‘I’m okay, but I do really appreciate the gesture. Can I open it even though I’m not throwing myself a pity party?’ We laughed, and I nodded to agree.
Bonnie wasted no time diving into the box of goodies. Her eyes immediately fell on the snacks Amelia and Jasper provided, a smile appeared on her lips. Next she saw the stationary, Poppy and Tristan included, she was a little confused as to what they were for but she loves the colours and patterns that were featured on the items. The final present, which I’d carefully hidden at the bottom of the box and wrapped in a lavender paper,
‘What’s this?’ she asked, shocked by the weight of it.
‘Don’t keep me in suspense, open it,’ I said, giving her a gentle nudge. I removed the box out of the way, the sofa covered in the contents. Mochi was still on her lap but he was distracted by the colourful packing peanuts scattered on the cushions.
Bonnie tore open the paper, her eyes falling on the decorative scrapbook. The words ‘Bonnie’s big adventure’ were written in script on the front, something I’d had custom made. I saw her eyes welling with tears as she flipped through the pages, and saw the photographs we’d taken on our trip. Memories were flooding back to us, and soon both of us were crying. Happy tears.
‘You did all this for me?’ she asked, her voice a whisper as she wiped the tears. ‘But why?’
I nodded, ‘That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.’
She held up a hand, and set the scrapbook down. ‘Let me go first.’
‘Okay.’
‘I thought if I hadn't gone with Vincent, he might have hurt you and I didn’t want to see you hurt. But I didn’t have the confidence to stand up to him, I’ve never had the confidence to stand up to him,’ Bonnie said. ‘Nothing had changed with him, despite everything he demanded of me to make things work. Nothing changed. He only wanted me because I was easy to control. That was until a month ago. ’
‘One night he’d drunk a little too much, and I was busy tidying up after dinner. I was zoned out thinking about how unhappy I was with my life, and how much I wanted things to change. It was only when he started a fight, I realised I’d had enough,’ she continued. ‘I didn’t want to live my life like that anymore. So I finally found the confidence and told him to leave. I’d even threaten to call the police if he refused.’
‘Wow, I’m really proud of you Bon,’ I said, completely shocked by her admission.
‘That’s not all, I’ll admit I did have a wobble after he left. More because I realised everything I’d given up on all because I couldn’t stand up to my abuser. So I sought help, for my mental health that I still don’t quite understand fully and for the emotional abuse Vincent put me through.’ Bonnie explained. ‘I wouldn’t say I’m cured, but I’m improving. I’m still attending therapy, and I’m going to keep going because I think it’s helping. But I owe this all to you, if you and the group hadn’t convinced me to go on trip, I might’ve never made progress. I wanted to say thank you.’ She looked up at me, her big blue eyes still wet with tears, but a smile was upon her lips.
‘You don’t have to thank me, we’re best friends. That’s kind of what I’m here for.’
‘What if I don’t want to be just your best friend anymore, Harley?’ she asked.
I was a little taken back, ‘Don’t say that, we’ll always be friends.’
‘But what if I want more?’ Bonnie asked.
As soon as the words left her lips I realised what she was saying. ‘Oh.’ I felt like a complete idiot for jumping to conclusions.
‘Harley, I’ve been ignoring my own feelings for long enough. I think it’s time I put them first for a change, and well, the time we spent together on the trip will be something I treasure for a lifetime, but I think I need more. More of you,’ she said. ‘I think I might be in love with you.’
My heart skipped a beat, ‘I.. I.’ the words were stuck like a lump in my throat. This was my chance and I needed to seize it. ‘Bon, I think I’ve been in love with you ever since I met you. You’re all I ever think about, I don’t want anyone else. I just want you.’
The scrapbook and cat tumbled to the floor as we embraced each other. My hands cradled her, tucking her into my chest. Her hands cupped my cheeks and pulled me closer, a smile on her lips. We kissed, but it was not like our previous times at Nostalgia Con, where it felt rushed and desperate. This kiss was gentle and sincere, the way I’d imagined our first kiss might’ve been. Perfect. As she pulled away, I heard the words I’d always wanted to hear from her lips.
‘I love you.’
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