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WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? One minute we were just casually skating around the rink, with Bonnie asking questions and then the next minute we kissed. How did we get to that? But more importantly, why did she run? Had I offended her or something? Was I really that out of practice?
I grimaced, sitting at the dining table with Jasper and Tristan, sipping on my morning coffee. They were looking at me funny, I wonder if they’d seen the interaction between Bonnie and I. It would be worse if they’d seen.
‘So, what did you and Bonnie get up to last night?’ Tristan teased.
Of course he’d seen, sly dog.
Jasper was looking smug, an expression I’d rarely seen him wear, ‘You were looking awfully close from where Amelia and I were skating.’
I narrowed my eyes, ‘Do you two have nothing better to do than to tease me?’ I asked.
The pair exchanged a look, turned back to me and laughed. ‘Absolutely not.’ I drained my mug and got up from the table to make myself some breakfast. Luckily, the girls were all still in bed, hopefully not listening to our conversation. Just as I was pouring my second cup of coffee, Poppy came round the corner, scaring me to death.
'I heard someone got lucky last night,' she teased.
Oh god, not her too. I mopped up the coffee I'd spilled and made Bonnie a hot chocolate while I was there.
'It's not like that,' I said, holding both mugs in my hands, preparing to return to my room. 'Just don't say anything to her please? I've not been able to speak to her since it happened. For her sake.'
The three of them mimed zipping their lips and that was enough to make me leave, rolling my eyes at their childish behaviour.
Bonnie was awake and sitting up on her e-reader when I got back to the room. 'Morning,' she said softly. I handed her the hot beverage. 'Thank you. Listen about last night.'
I felt my cheeks warm, 'It's fine, we really don't have to talk about that,' I replied. Thinking it'd be better if we forgot about it completely, she'd run for a reason and I didn't want to know. 'Let's forget that anything happened.'
Bonnie cast her gaze into her drink and bobbed her head, 'If that's what you want, then okay. Let's not talk about it.'
So we were in agreement, yet something about it didn't sit right with me. Still, I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, the whole point of this trip was to keep Bonnie in high spirits. She didn't need me bringing her down with questions just because I had feelings she couldn't return. That was selfish.
'As the convention doesn't officially open till tomorrow, the group has asked to do a photoshoot in the forest,' I said, breaking the icy silence. 'How about we try on our costumes and take some photos too?'
Bonnie set her mug in her lap, smiling as she replied, 'That sounds wonderful. You still need to have a proper fitting and it'll allow me to make any alterations tonight.'
'What if we held off wearing them till Sunday? Tomorrow is the Eden Gate Online panel, it would be a shame to hide such beautiful costumes,' I suggested.
'But what would we wear instead, that's the only costume I bought.'
'We still have the school uniform versions of the characters from last night?'
'That's a great idea. If we're stuck in a warm hall all day, they're probably more ideal.'
Seems we were in agreement. 'Come on, let's get this photoshoot on the road.'
Our cabin was located a short distance away from a lake, and hidden within a dense forest. Despite the structures being man-made they still held the essence of the environment and didn’t distract too much from nature. Little critters scuttered around the ground, avoiding our group as we walked deeper into the forest.
The group were dressed in an interesting array of costumes; the ones we were all collectively saving for Sunday. We’d agreed tomorrow's panel would be too much to wear our more extravagant costumes. We were free as birds Sunday, allowing us to show off our craftsmanship that we’d be able to in a cramped hall.
Once again I was the designated photographer for the day, but I found more comfort hiding behind the camera lens than I did in front of it. Jasper asked me if he could go first, sporting another street style look that belonged in the pages of fashion magazines.
I wondered if he was going to use the photos towards his modelling portfolio, a side hustle he’d be doing for sometime, when he wasn’t nerding out over game lore. Much like his girlfriend, Amelia, he was a natural in front of the camera who needed very little pointers.
Tristan worked as my assistant, helping with the reflectors as we were using the natural light only. We took shots in the heart of the forest and some by the lake where Jasper changed up a jacket or accessory to keep things interesting.
Amelia was next, apparently the pair of them wanting to go out for a late lunch to celebrate their upcoming anniversary. This was the first time any of us in the group had heard about it, but nevertheless I was happy for them.
I promised I would be quick at working my magic, but in truth Amelia was doing all the work, sporting another witchy-esque ensemble, even bringing coloured smoke flares with her to add to the illusion, like a dark temptress. The overall effect was spellbinding. She moved like a professional model, a complete natural in front of the camera. When we were finished the pair hurried off and we all wished them luck on their date.
‘Alright you two,’ I said, pointing to the remaining couple. ‘You going to behave for me today, or are you going to be cheeky pixies?’
Poppy stomped like a toddler denied ice-cream, ‘We’re not pixies, we’re faeries.’
I made a face, ‘Isn’t that basically the same thing?’
‘Not in the slightest,’ Poppy said with her hands on hips. ‘Our costumes were made originally for Fantasy Forest, but we struggled getting tickets. We thought this would be the next best option, given the location.’
I studied their costumes, Poppy’s auburn curls were decorated with tiny florals, her makeup natural yet heavy on sparkles, and over her dress she wore a leather corset with half a dozen trinkets tied to her belt. Tristan’s costume matched his partner’s in every way, yet instead of the floaty dress, he wore a tunic of the same colour and shorts. He wore a woven branch crown, devoid of any florals, and they both wore pointed ear prosthetics and a pair of wings on their backs, in Spring colours.
Together they danced about the forest as I snapped photographs, like two children who refused to sit still at a family gathering. They’d brought with them far too many props, in my professional opinion, little potion bottles, oversized faux flowers, mushrooms and acorns for comedic effect. Poppy brought a bubble solution and spent a little time dancing around, beaming with joy as she blew bubbles around us all. Despite how chaotic the pair of them was to shoot, I was pleased with how their photos came out.
Next it was Bonnie’s turn. She seemed a little more high in spirits after watching the others. She’d come with some ideas and props, specifically bought to match her character; a staff, a book full of what looked like tarot cards and the yellow plush bear I’d given her last night. She stumbled at first, trying to decide what she wanted to use, and opted to use the staff.
Poppy stood on the side-lines, giving her pose prompts to help her combat the nerves and soon Bonnie got into the swing of things. She changed up her poses very subtly, making each click of my lens different, but it also helped build up her confidence to try different things.
We tried a pose whereby she threw a handful of cards in the air and let them rain down on her as she posed with her arms stretched out. Despite how messy it was, the shoots were some of my favourite of the day. We all helped pick up the cards from the forest floor, so Bonnie could use them again. She continued posing, her movements growing more graceful with every click. I could only assume her nerves were melting away, allowing her to move more fluidly. I was enjoying watching her blossom, and truly enjoying herself at this moment.
Bonnie suggested a few close-up shots of her sitting upon a log and reading the book she’d brought, and after a few attempts we tried incorporating the bear plushie like he was flying around assisting Sakura. We tried a few shoots using the throwing of the cards technique again, while Bonnie sat still reading, like the magic was all around her.
Our creative sides were really coming out of us, and the collaborative effort was what brought the entire thing together in the end. I couldn’t have been more proud of our little team. I only wished Amelia and Jasper had been here to join in, but I hoped they were having more fun on their little date.
Together we sat and replenished ourselves, sipping on the soda cans we brought along with us. Bonnie had brought a couple of snacks in her bag. Apparently she’d been holding out on me during the train ride and saved some for later. A few milk candy chews, and a handful of rice crackers and we all were feeling the summer heat.
We were going to call it quits after Bonnie’s shoot but Tristan insisted on pulling me aside for a quick chat while the girls discussed how their shoots went.
‘When are you going to tell her,’ Tristan said, keeping his voice down.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I replied. I knew exactly what he was going to say and in my mind I begged him not to repeat our conversation from this morning.
He saw through my game, ‘Cut the crap. We both know you have feelings for this girl, if you didn’t then you wouldn’t have kissed her last night,’ he said. He must’ve seen my façade disappear, ‘Exactly, so you two need to talk about it. She might have feelings for you-’
‘That’s not going to happen,’ I cut him off. ‘We already discussed it this morning, and agreed to not talk about last night again. It’s water under the bridge, it doesn't mean anything, I just let my feelings get the better of me and that wasn’t fair on Bonnie.’
‘It’s not fair you keep denying yourself,’ Tristan’s tone was firm. He sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder. ‘You’re one of my best friends, I don’t want to see you get hurt. The sooner you find out the better. You need to be honest to Bonnie, for both her sake and yours.’
I submitted, ‘Fine. I’ll think about it, alright?’
We returned to the girls, where Bonnie felt more confident about how her shoot went, but just as we were getting ready to leave Tristan stopped us and offered to take photos of the two of us instead. He didn’t listen to either of us protesting, and Poppy was already holding the reflector and getting into position.
‘Sorry about this,’ I whispered.
Bonnie looked up at me and smiled, ‘It’s alright, I was hoping we could get some shots of the two costumes together. Besides, doing this with you makes me feel more comfortable than doing this alone.’ She took my hand, readying herself in a pose and I followed suit.
Tristan happily snapped photos each time we changed positions, allowing us to take our time to suit Bonnie’s nerves. Poppy assisted on the side-lines, being as helpful as she could, giving pointers where she could and calling out positive words of encouragement, including how good we looked, and how beautiful the costumes were.
Bonnie had brought along her yellow bear plush I’d brought her and the staff she’d bought to match the outfit. She’d this idea to hold the staff between us, and to hold a dreamy expression on our faces with our eyes closed. I obliged even though I felt a little silly about it, but together we took some lovely shots.
Tristan and Poppy both suggested some slightly more intimate shots, they’d both seen the anime and said the two characters were lovers, a detail Bonnie neglected to inform me. I thought they were just good friends.
‘I’d be okay with that,’ Bonnie said, before turning to me and realising she hasn’t considered me in the equation. ‘That is, if you are?’
‘Yeah, course, that’s fine.’ I replied, stopping myself before I got verbal diarrhoea. My cheeks began to warm as Bonnie held out her hand.
For the first time this trip I was nervous to hold her hand, but I took hers in mine and continued with the shoot. Our movements brought us closer, I wrapped my hands around her waist and picked her up. She posed gracefully like a ballerina, and Tristan captured our perfect moment. As I brought her down, we held each other’s gaze, my mind running wild with possibilities. All I wanted to do was repeat what happened last night.
Bonnie came back to the ground, a smile on her lips beckoning me to her. We inched closer, and I thought it might happen again, until I heard the chime of a magical girl theme tune.
‘That’s my phone,’ she said, wincing.
We continued to hold each other’s gaze, neither one of us seeming willing to move, until the music persisted and Bonnie gave in first, letting go of me and hurrying off to the bag she’d brought.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said softly. I watched her disappear, fetching her phone from the bag. Her entire mood shifted.
Had I caused that?
Soon she was joined by Poppy, and after a little while the pair headed off back to the cabin, leaving Tristan and I behind to tidy away the equipment.
I must’ve done something to upset her. I didn’t dare bring this up with Tristan, I already knew what he was thinking. He knew I still needed to have that conversation with Bonnie, but just something within me wouldn’t give. I couldn’t go through with it, the answer was obvious.
That was the second time she’d ran away from me. I didn’t need to follow Tristan’s advice, I already had my answer. I might be in love with my best friend, but she was never going to feel the same way about me. It was hopeless. No amount of talking to her was going to change that fact.
I had to give up on my feelings for Bonnie.
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