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'BONNIE.'
My eyes fluttered awake at the call of my name. My confused, still half-asleep brain, tried recalling who the voice belonged to. I rubbed the sleep crust from the corners of my eyes, until my blurry vision finally cleared.
Vincent stood at the foot of the bed, rummaging through our shared drawers, slamming each one as he went. Seemingly looking for something.
'Is something wrong?' I asked, slowly sitting up in bed where I was greeted by a slither of blinding sunlight through the tiny gap in the curtains.
He glared at me with his crisp white shirt half unbuttoned, 'Where is it?' he asked.
I tilted my head to one side, 'Can you be a little more specific? In case you hadn't noticed, I've just woken up,' I replied, yawning halfway through my sentence. 'Have you lost something?'
Vincent slammed yet another drawer and grunted, 'It's not me who's lost it. Where have you hidden it?' He turned to face me, his cheeks almost beet red with his hands firmly on his hips.
I furrowed my brow and queried, 'Hidden what?'
Not even five minutes I've been awake and already I'm being accused of losing something of his. He needs to stop the blame game and remember where he keeps his things.
I daren't not speak my thoughts aloud, it would only cause more trouble for myself.
Vincent pointed to his shirt, 'My tie. Where is it?' he asked, his tone firmer.
A chill spider climbed down my back and my hand immediately went to pull the duvet over my legs to prevent him from seeing my skin goose pimple.
'I haven't seen it,' I said.
'Liar.'
The word cut through me like I was butter. I'd always been truthful to Vincent, in the six months we'd been dating. Not once had a lie left my lips, but that didn't stop his accusations. They started off small and far between, but now it was almost everyday. In his mind I was always lying about something, or being unfaithful to him. Either of which were further from the truth.
Vincent stormed around the studio, continuing his search and leaving a trail of mess he'd expect me to fix once he'd left for work. After a few more attempts, he'd located his tie in the same place he'd left it the night before, on the kitchen island. He'd taken it off once he'd walked in from work, while he helped himself to a beer from the fridge. I hadn't bothered to tidy up after him, perhaps that was my mistake, maybe that might have saved the argument that was coming next.
'Why can't you just leave things where they belong?' He asked, coming back into the bedroom for round two while he fixed his tie. 'Is it too much to ask that you keep the place tidy while I go to work?'
I allowed my body to slink back down into the bed, I didn't want to have this conversation. Everyday I made sure the studio was spotless, ensuring the laundry was washed and ironed before Vincent returned home and dinner was cooked for when he walked in. But lately my efforts had been for naught, he'd been coming home late and reeking of alcohol.
'Are you going to spend all day on that stupid video game?' he asked, his words almost threatening.
The words snapped me back to my senses. 'No,' I said, shifting beneath the duvet. 'I've got that interview this afternoon.'
Vincent scoffed, 'I doubt that.' His tone mocking, 'You're useless, if you can't keep this place tidy, how are you going to manage holding down a job?'
'I just thought...'
'That's your problem, you think too much. You live in dreamland. Life isn't a video game, Bonnie, Grow up,' Vincent added, dragging his comb through his messy tresses. 'I'll be late home tonight, don't wait up.'
In the next moment he was gone, and I was left alone in the studio. I pulled my knees into my chest and curled myself up into a ball. A sharp pain radiated from my chest as I replayed our conversation over. Every morning was the same, Vincent waking me yelling because he'd misplaced something and believed it was my fault for not paying more attention. But I could never seem to stand up for myself when he complained, all I got was a lump in my throat and crushing pain in my chest.
Tears began to cluster in the corner of my eyes and before I knew it, I was in floods and I couldn't understand why. I just hated the way he made me feel. Part of me felt deserving of the treatment, but another part wanted it to stop. I couldn't bring myself to think about my life without Vincent, I'd grown too attached in a way.
After giving myself the time to wallow in my self pity, I finally decided to haul myself out of bed and do something productive with my day. I threw the patchwork duvet over the bed and fluffed the pillows. Yawning, I caught sight of myself in the small mirror above the drawers. My mousey brown tresses had escaped the messy bun with my fringe standing up on end and I groaned, knowing how long it would take to fix.
I didn't need this today. Guess I should shower, but tea first. Nothing was ever accomplished without a cup of tea.
The interview wasn't till midday, and if I'd left an hour before my appointment, I'd have plenty of time to travel into the city centre. This left me with enough time to rummage up something small for breakfast and indulge myself in a cup of tea.
I thought about the possibility of hopping onto my computer and starting up Eden's Gate Online, an online mmorpg video game that Vincent despites. He felt I spent too much time in the virtual world, but that was where all my friends were, including my best friend Harley, someone I'd known for years and went to college with. It was the only social time I got, being an introvert. I hated leaving my home unless I had to, and today was no exception. Nothing filled me with more dread than being outside and around other people, but I had to at least try at this job even if my only reasoning was to get Vincent off my back.
A quick freshen up under the shower, and a change of clothes. I opted for a simple ensemble, a cream turtleneck and plaid dress. I braided my hair and finished the plait with a ribbon. I'd packed a small bag with my important documentation and purse inside, checking three times over to ensure I had both. My mind loved playing tricks on me, especially when I'd something important to take care of.
I'd given myself a further hour to calm myself down before I departed for the interview, indulging in the now lukewarm cup of tea I'd made. I sat in my armchair with a current read in hand. The latest volume of magical girl manga I'd been enjoying. I love the way the artist illustrated the main characters' costumes and how I wished one day I could make one. At university I studied textiles design, and although I owned a sewing machine, I rarely took it out the cupboard.
My indulgent hour seemed to skip by too quickly, and soon it was time for me to venture in the city centre. I slipped my earphones in and hurried to the train station. Thankfully, the station was less crowded than I'd anticipated, and I purchased my ticket from the machine and waited on the platform for the oncoming train.
The train ride was pleasant, I was able to sit for the duration of my journey while listening to the lo-fi music and gazing out of the window. My phone buzzed in my lap and I glanced at the screen to see a message from Harley.
H: Morning Bon. Today's the day, the big interview, right? You'll do great, good luck
A smile graced my lips and all the anxiety building up the bile in my stomach finally settled, making me feel more at ease.
Least someone has faith in me.
I quickly shot him a thank you text just as the train approached the station. I stood, brushing my dress down and taking a deep breath before exiting the train. This would be the biggest challenge I'd faced in a while. I'd not been to the city centre for months, at least not without Vincent, but it was rare we went anywhere as a couple. Maybe he was embarrassed by me, by my lack of job prospects and my addiction to a video game.
The interview was not too far from the station and although I'd made it with plenty of time and remembered the important documents, I was unsuccessful obtaining the job. It came to no surprise for me, I was too in my own head about this morning's conversation with Vincent to care. At least I tried. Not that he would see it that way.
I took out my phone and sent Harley a text about how terrible I'd done at the interview as I wandered through the city centre to find my favourite shop. The Lucky Cat café was a small gem hidden from the public, dealing in table top card games, comics, manga and delicious imported confectionery. A perfect place for a pick-me-up treat.
As soon as I saw the quirky calico head, with its waving paw, I found myself smiling. I'd never taken Vincent to this place, he hated all things 'less ordinary' as he referred to it. I stepped inside the oasis, the chime of the bell alerting the staff, I'd arrived. They greeted me like old friends, despite me only coming here on rare occasions. Boxes of comics were stacked beside a wall-covered bookshelf, packed floor-to-ceiling with manga books. Each series organised alphabetically that made my heart sing. It was how I'd organised my own collection at home, though most had been put into boxes and put into storage when Vincent moved in. I missed my collection.
I poured through the shelves, looking for the next volume of the manga I'd indulged myself in this morning with tea, and to my surprise they'd the next two in the series. I gathered them up to take to the register, but not before I allowed myself to look at the imported snacks and cards. I used to play table top games in college, along with Harley but we soon moved to online games when we built our respected gaming computers.
The girl behind the desk had the most stunning purple hair. I wished I'd had the confidence to dye mine like that, or have the guts to go under a tattoo gun and have my skin decorated with the Japanese-inspired illustrations she had done.
I paid for hot chocolate and a cupcake shaped like a cat, along with my two volumes of manga, making a mental note to hide them before Vincent returned home. I did look at the card games, entranced by the magical girl illustrations but I managed to hold myself back. I took a seat at the back of the store and got out my phone. There were no messages from Vincent, only Harley replying to my awful news.
H: It'll be okay, there's always next time.
B: But Vincent will only moan if I don't get this job.
I held off telling Harley about the situation this morning. It was embarrassing, he didn't need to know that.
H: There will be others. Surely he'll understand that?
I considered my answer, my thumb hovering over the keypad as I swallowed my pride and forced myself to text back a less worrying reply.
B: You're right, I'm sure he'll come round.
H: That's the spirit. I should head back to work, still on for later?
B: You know it!
The newest patch of Eden's Gate Online was due to drop this afternoon. I hadn't told Vincent, of course, but I'd organised playing the content with my online friends, as soon as the patch was announced. It promised new dungeons, new trials and even some quality of life features I was excited to try. Nothing was going to stand in my way of enjoying my game.
I thought about texting Vincent, to bite the bullet and inform him of how the interview went, but I saved myself the trouble. That could wait till later, for now I wanted to enjoy my time in my favourite place and enjoy the little treats I'd rewarded myself with.
The frothy hot chocolate warmed my throat, enveloping me like a hug I desperately needed and the sweetness of the lemon cake added a little zing that tickled my tongue, making me giggle to myself. It was the little pleasures in life that got me through the bad times, and I didn't know what I'd do without them.
I glanced back to the registry desk, where the table top games were displayed.
Maybe I will treat myself, the illustrations would be good inspiration to start practising drawing again.
In my own head, I'd already devised a plan to purchase a couple of magical card packs and then head to the art store to pick out a sketchbook and new equipment to try and replicate the illustrations. What a perfect way to spend my afternoon. Once my cup was drained and only the crumbs left from the cupcake, I followed through with my plan. I managed to restrain myself and buy only two packs of the cards, knowing well enough I would feel a desire to collect the entire set if I bought anymore.
The art store was located in the centre of the city, but close by the train station. It would've been rude not to enter as I walked past. Just like inside The Lucky Cat café, I felt at home in the store. After spending the best part of my youth dragging Harley to every store imaginable for course supplies, I'd grown accustomed to their layout.
I'd selected a beautiful lavender sketchbook and a starter kit of brush markers, a medium I'd always wanted to try and hurried to pay for the items before I added anymore to my basket. Then with my hands weighed down with a couple of bags, I headed back to the train station and jumped on the first train heading home.
Back home in the studio, I couldn't wait to start illustrating. I flicked on the kettle and changed into a comfy jumper and leggings. I undone my plait and put my hair up with a claw clip. I set up my new supplies on my desk along with a cup of tea and started tearing open the magical girl cards. I couldn't wait to get started.
Maybe today would be a good day after all.
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