Chapter 21 (Vices)
It was dark when Tiger and I arrived home. I locked up, and climbed into bed. I fell asleep wit tiger lying on my chest.
It was Sunday morning. I bathed, ate and fed Tiger. Then I went for a walk.
I wrapped my shawl around my shoulders. I stopped at the market. I needed a few odds and ends. I opened my purse, I know I had opened it last night to pay for the cab. Inside lay a small wooden deer. I placed it in my hand to look at it.
I paid and walked home, with the deer in my hand. I heard my name being called. I turned…I think I should have stayed.
He stopped in front of me out of breath. I stepped away, the rancidity was palatable.
“Nichole, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. I have come home. I live just down the road from you. I was hoping to bump into you. We must have dinner; I do need to dash off. I have a Sir has his obligations. See you later, a car will pick you up at six.”
I literally puked. I think I ran home. Not to the cottage to Gwendoline’s house.
“Gwendoline are you home dear?” She was in the kitchen.
“Morning mum… mum?” She led me to a settee.
“Did you know Harry was back? He has made dinner arrangements, and I wasn’t given a say in the matter.”
“I knew he was back, but mum. He hasn’t come around here. I had no idea he would seek you out. Don’t go. Patrick will intervene. I cannot allow him to dictate when you need to be at his beck and call. I shall not permit him to do that ever again.”
Gwendoline rang Patrick. He arrived within the hour.
“What did he say to you mum?”
“That he will send a car for me at six. That I must have dinner with him.”
“Over my dead body. The Lords have told. Leo has been enquiring as to when you shall return. I shall not allow these brutes on my property. Fetch Tiger, and what you may need. You will stay here, until I bring an end to these two’s reign over you.”
Patrick accompanied me to the cottage. I have barely gotten use to how different things were here, and these two degenerates what to play house.
Tiger walked around the room, he found a spot on the bed in the sun, yawned and curled up and slept. Wherever he lays his head is his home. I do envy him so much.
Gwendoline and I were sitting in the living room, when the car arrived outside the cottage. Patrick was up and out the door. He had made a few calls.
I looked at Gwendoline when harsh words were exchanged. We both sneaked over to the lace. It was dark out, the lights gave us a clear view. Patrick wasn’t alone.
When the driver refused to leave, a fist fight broke out. That was all the persuasion he needed to leave.
We both looked up at Patrick. Not a scratch was to be seen on his person.
“Mum, he will be back. I have hired a body-guard for you. Until this is over. I don’t want you to feel constraint.”
Leo rang me at work. I cut the call. I glanced at Emily, then at my body-guard. “That was Leo.”
Harry hasn’t a modicum of diplomacy, he walked through the doors.
“I told you to meet me at six. How are you spit in my face after everything I have done for you Nichole? You, unthankful harlot.”
The body-guard picked him up by his scrawny neck and tossed him outside. “Un hand meee….”
He got what he had asked for. It was a memorable experience. Gwendoline and I laughed. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have laughed, not to Harry’s face, the repercussions aren’t worth it.
I didn’t stay at the cottage. I was terrified to be alone. They were relentless. I didn’t know Patrick was allergic to cats, so when he started sneezing and wheezing, I had no choice but to move back. I turned my sowing room into a bedroom for the body-guard.
I have not asked him his name. He keeps to himself. I had no desire to ask him about his life, and he left me to mine, unless the two evil twins made their presence known.
I wrote several letters to Funani. I have no idea if he received any of it.
I went to work. I had lunch at the office. If I needed anything for home. My body-guard accompanied me.
A fine sleet was falling. I was about to buy herbs for the broth. When the body-guard took me by my elbow. “We need to go.” I looked up at him. I followed him. It was very crowded. Everyone were stocking their pantries so they didn’t have to come out in the blizzard, which would reach us by evening. I don’t know how we got separated.
When I looked back. The body-guard was lying on his side. I ran to him. “Call an ambulance, this man has been stabbed.”
I was pulled up by my hair, my basket fell to the ground. I was knocked unconscious.
I need to add once more, nothing was fabricated. I cannot look upon my life and find the fiction in it.
When I woke up I was lying on Leo’s bed. The canopy was a dead giveaway, I was naked. I tried to cover my nudity. I had not seen Leo sitting in the dark, at the foot of the bed. He pulled the sheets off me. I screamed. He slapped me. Leo switched on the lights. I tried once more to cover myself, and he slapped me.
“Nichole, lie the fuck still, or I shall hurt you…” I lay still.
“Why won’t you speak to me? I have called in good faith and kindness. But you cut the calls. I find that very rude. I hear you went home. Did your Negros satisfy you?”
I refused to answer, he slapped me. “Answer me.” I got up, and I ran. I the direction of the bathroom. He was bigger than I am. He slammed me down onto the side of the tub, I could feel the sharp edges cut into me.
I screamed, but he would slap me so hard I saw stars. He was naked.
“I won’t put it in there, Harry told me you like it this way. We are old mates, he told me everything I had to know about you.”
“Shocking.” He slapped me again, turned me and entered me.
I was in bad shape. I walked out of the bathroom. Leo was snoring. I don’t know what happened to my clothes. I grabbed a sheet to cover my nudity. I called a cab.
The driver handed me his coat. “I need to go to this address, please may I use your cellular phone. I have to ring my daughter.”
He handed it to me. The blood was soaking through onto the seat. I felt bad.
Gwendoline and I had a brief exchange. “The nurses and doctors were waiting for me.
Patrick paid the driver for the call, and for the damage to his back seats. I need to add; he didn’t want any compensation.
“Patrick, what happened to the body-guard?”
“Don’t fret now mum. Get well.”
I think I knew the answer. I was taken to surgery. There was so much blood. I flat-lined. The damage to my rectum is inoperable.
Emily was holding my hand. “He denied everything, when the cops arrived, they found no evidence of foul play.”
I looked at Patrick. “Then who was blamed for my current condition?”
“The body-guard. And you stabbed him in self-defence, so no charges will be laid against you mum.”
I lay back. My life was spinning out of control. “Bollocks, where did the incident take place?”
Patrick cleared his throat. “The bloodied sheets were found in the cottage. Mum. Tiger is…dead.”
I looked up at the florescent light. “What happened?”
“He was run over mum.”
I looked at Patrick. “I see.”
The nurse sedated me. I had a dreamless sleep. When I woke up, the fact that Tiger was gone, slammed into my chest. I didn’t cry. I didn’t want to cry.
I was discharged after a week. I had to come back for follow-up tests. No DNA was found. He used a condom.
I asked to be alone. I know Patrick would watch the cottage like a hawk.
I showered, it was too painful to sit. I was tired, I got into bed, and I slept. The nightmares returned in drones.
Gwendoline nursed me. I wanted my independence back. But some days are harder than others.
At times I do think. What if… If I had gone back as Emily had suggested, not to Leo, no. To Funani. None of this would have come to pass. Harry won. Not Leo. Harry was the instigator, and he won. He had finally broken my resolve. I no longer feel like anything, neither dead nor alive.
The evil twins left me alone. The damage was done.
I wish I could say, this was over. That I would never see Harry again. That would be a lie.
Life has this nasty habit of throwing us together. I have no idea what happened to the body-guard. Patrick had suggested another in his stead. I declined the offer. The damage was done.
I went back to work as soon as I could. I cannot say it was easy. I still need to protect my clothing, in case the blood seeps through.
I work as hard as I can. I can feel I have lost myself. I tire easily. I tend to fall off to sleep when I least expect it. Or I can’t sleep at all.
I did ring Henry, not to purge, I needed to hear his voice. Yet again a huge faux pass on my own behalf. Word had reached him. In so many ways, he told me to ‘…..’ off and die.
I hardly went out. I would spend time with Emily, she didn’t hurt me. I tried not to think of the ‘attack’, it is so named, because it was rectal.
I had no desire to go ‘home’. What would I say? How shall I justify what was done to me? I stopped writing.
I did receive one telegram. Funani was shot, and died due to his injuries.
It was raining. I took my umbrella, and my coat. I walked down to the end of the pier, and I sobbed.
I allowed myself to cry. Bitter tears.
I stood in the rain until the cold seeped into my bones.
“You will catch your death out here.” I recognised the voice. I turned and looked up at Leo. “Done and dusted.” I walked past him. Seriously what could he do to me, what has not been done already?
I walked home. I miss Tiger. I needed to cry for my beloved cat. I wished I could bury him, but Patrick never told me what he did with his body, I don’t ask. Sometimes I believe people keep quiet to save us more pain. Little do they know. It’s by far worse, not knowing. Knowing allows for closure. And closure moves you forward.
It’s been a trying year. I can’t believe another year had passed. Gwendoline decorates her house, until there isn’t space for a candy-cane to be squeezed in anywhere.
I might add, it looks stunning. I am pale again. It didn’t take long for me to shed my African ‘skin’.
We will be closed for the duration of the week. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with myself.
I needed to be alone, not in my misery. I didn’t want this face near any parties.
I went Christmas shopping, that took my mind off things for a while.
No matter whom you talk to, be it professional, or a friend. The truth is, when the lights go off, you are alone. Alone to think, feel and relive the gross injustices of the past. Alone is just that. No one is there to hold your hand when the walls close in. You need to fight through it, alone, on your own, if you want to survive, the nightly demons.
Emily and her family have gone away for the week.
Gwendoline’s house is filled to capacity with Patrick’s family. I have explained to her and Patrick why I needed space.
I turned the bedroom, back into the sewing room. And I sewed. I do enjoy it tremendously.
I do look for Tiger, on the piles off cut-off’s. I am considering getting a cat. However, cats are difficult, it’s hard to estimate what personalities the animals will have. So I have left that thought on the shelf for now.
I watch more television than ever, there’s an antidote. I can fall asleep on the couch, and actually get a night’s sleep. Minus the nightmares.
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