His Plan
“I still have a plan for you my child.” He says to me from an unforeseen location. “What is this plan?” I scream out begging for an answer. “You will see.” He says followed by a crackling thunder and a blinding flash of light. My face slams into the side of the armored van at over forty miles per hour. Bones breaking and my brain being tossed like a fried egg causes me to lose consciousness. About 7 months later I finally regain cognition and it is explained to me my new situation. “I told you I wasn’t done with you yet boy.” He says off in the distance. I hear this and awaken from my first good slumber since I learned that not only was I practically a cripple, but that I must relearn every task I used to do. This had included learning to eat, drink, speak, sit, stand, walk, and the worst was how to cope with everything. I had felt I had been broken and I had ruined mine and even my wife’s life. I was constantly told I was a walking miracle and I was constantly asked to go to service. I had always declined. My response to them always is “what could he possibly want from my broken ass?” Months of therapy and recovery go by, and although slow, it is proceeding. I am told it could take a lifetime, but I can’t stop trying. This causes me to not only try hard, but to always strive to try new things. Several years go by and I awaken one morning. “I’m going to poke the hell out of you if you don’t wake up” I say threatening my wife awake for work. She giggles and begs me not to and that she still has a couple of minutes. Just hearing that giggle and seeing that smile warms my heart. We continue our normal routine, but it strikes me halfway through the day that I still have no idea what gods plan for me is. This strikes me as an issue, and I reach out to all friends and family asking for their opinion. I have been trying to be as faithful as I possibly could but was afraid of failing him. I felt as though he kept me alive for a reason, just, what is that reason? Is it because I haven’t been Christian long or am I doing something wrong? Everyone responds with kind words telling me to just keep faith and eventually everything will work. I follow up with a joke as usual and I am greeted with laughter. It occurs to me often, but I really enjoy making people smile and laugh. This causes me to often seek out humor in every little task. His dad died at the age of 84. It was a sad time, but I could not hold back, and I proceeded to make jokes about his drinking and partying. My friend, even having lost his father, was able to crack a smile. She had her baby by a rape. She never wanted it but refused abortion. Even in this trying time I couldn’t help but make a joke about how ugly it was, and abortion would probably have been better. She couldn’t help but laugh through her tears. Every time, it is like the smile can warm my heart. Seeing the shining smile on top of hearing the laughter makes my day. I go home each time and get to see the radiant smile from my wife when I tell her about the joy I brought in hard times. All these things, I can’t but help to thank him for giving me the ability to witness if I’m not the cause. Years go by, way past what I thought I’d ever see pass. Finally, on my own death bed and having witnessed loved one’s pass, I take a deep breath before I make my last joke. “I told my mother I would beat her there. I hope she got lost so I can still win”. This was followed by a slight chuckle from my wife and she held my head softly. I was so tired I couldn’t do it anymore. To see one last smile, I struggled to brush her hair from her face and tell her I loved her. Everything went dark and I felt as though I was out of breath and too weak to even try. Suddenly this feeling went away as a blinding light filled my eyes. The shine fades away and I notice I am my younger self and standing in the hospital where I was. This was weird for the obvious age reason, but I was standing and there was no one else around. Then I hear it. The most thunderously relaxing chuckle ever. I look around, trying to find the source but find nothing. Then it continues and tells me something I had always desired or had even been curious about. “I told you I had a plan for you my son”. “I don’t think I did anything. What could I possibly have done to please you gracious one” I shout out trying to be heard. “The very fact you were finally able to learn about me has pleased me. But that was not all, you did many wonders that I knew you could. Your wife whom you love so much, would always turn to you in hard times to be cheered up instead of turning to sin. Your friend was ready to kill himself after his wife died but you were able to pick him up from that. Your other friend was able to raise her child with delight after you made her realize it wasn’t as bad as she had thought. Even your mother was able to pass on in peace because you warmed her heart. You did lots my son, and for that I thank you”. “No, my most gracious, merciful father. It is I who should thank you. For more than I could possibly explain, I thank you and with all my heart I tell you I love you” I say as I drop to my knees. He chuckles again and says, “then pass your testament onto more so that others may be saved”. And that is why my words have been made to appear on this page, so that you may know the grace, love, mercy, and faithfulness of our lord. He has a plan for you whether you realize it or not and he is always there whether you see or hear him or not. Keep the faith and someday it’ll be all better.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
