Family Requests
“I don’t want to!” I yell at my mother as she tells me it is time. “You have to!” she begs hoping I will listen. “Your asking me to end my life!” I yell trying to change the outcome. She shakes her head giggling. She then changes to a frown and apologizes telling me, “you will regret it if you don’t”. I couldn’t fight that so I proclaimed that I would be simply a couple of minutes. Seeing her walk toward me was breathe taking and it was already hard to stand there. I couldn’t help but be slack jawed and I could see that this was causing her to smile bigger. Once she arrives, I whisper to her “this is the best wedding I’ve ever been to.” She smiles and asks me, “so does that mean your glad to be marring me?” I can’t help but shout “of course!” After this I only almost fell three times. “ok son, time for bed” I explain as I lean in to kiss him goodnight. He dodges and says “no, I would like another please. How about when you bought tiny.” I giggle shaking my head and say “ok, you asked for it mister.” It started on a day; I shake my head saying, “just keep in mind I don’t remember all the details”. He smiles and begs me to continue. “Ok, that day was a normal day, but I had wanted a puppy” I continue off. I had searched and searched and finally found one. After investigating I found out a liter was due. I contacted the breeder and learned of how much it would cost. Wanting one bad enough, I said I would talk to my girlfriend. “keep in mind this was before we were married or even moved” I told him. Trying to get him to sleep, I quickly got back on track. She finally got home from whatever she was doing that day and I sat her down. I told her that I wanted a family. She looked surprised. I had to help her understand that no, I didn’t want the crap factories people call kids. She smiles and told me to explain. I stated I just wanted a puppy. I wanted a loving fur-baby. She said ok, we will keep our eyes open. I had to tell her about how I had already been digging and found one. She smiled and said ok. After his birth we went for a visit and fell in love instantly. “He may be bigger than you and cost about the same, but more worth it” I say smiling. The brat has the nerve to say about my fur-baby “he is more like a cow.” “well brat, he has been around longer than you” I say laughing and patting him goodnight. I hear some pouting as I’m leaving, and I turn to see sadness. “what is wrong munchkin?” I say. He says something that baffles me to this day. He screams “I am your daughter!” I fall to my knees weakly and shake my head. She explains in a sad voice “you don’t even have a son”. I can’t fight that and have nothing much to say. “I am so sorry princess; you know I have major dablage. I’m sorry, I mean damage. In return I will tell you one more story of your choice.” I say while begging her forgiveness. She then smiles saying “mom was right, you are a sucker for your women.” I couldn’t even fight it and simply waited until she told me the story she wanted. Having finally tucked her in and heading to my bed, all I could do was call myself an idiot and shake my head. Seeing my angry look, my wife couldn’t help but pry into what’s wrong. “can I tell you after I poop?” I ask while dropping the kids off. She giggles and says “no, you must tell me now. Your highness demands it.” I laugh and while washing my hands and begin to explain how I had mistaken our daughter for a son. I dry off and turning to her I notice a frown. I ask her what’s wrong and she tells me the most frightening thing. “we don’t have a daughter josh. “That was your son and before you get mad at him, you must remember that he has your sense of humor and you taught him how to use it.” She explains while looking away. Mouth wide open and shaking my head I can’t help but yell every profanity I can think of before storming out. I get to my door and rip it open to notice one thing. In front of my door is a jar with a note that says, “tips for Danny when using bad words. One-dollar per.” I read out loud with a confused look and I hear one thing. “you said a bad word dad, and that will be 20 dollars in the jar with a 10-dollar bonus to make me forget the daughter thing.” The brat has the grapes to yell out from his room. I yell some more profanity before kicking the bottle away and turning. I see in the doorway my wife. She is just standing there shaking her head with a smile. She wipes out a 50 and hands it to me telling me “it’s sad I have to pay your debt Joshua. Boy, time for bed Danny.”
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