Miranda's POV
I laid in bed thinking about Sammy as always I don't know why she was taken from us so soon. But I beat myself up everyday for letting her come with me that day. Just as I sat up my door was threw open and Jack come walking in.
"Randa you have to go back today. You have to face them and find out what Toby has planned" He tells me
"Jack I can't. What if I see Gage? I can't tell them what happened" I say bowing my head slightly
"It's time babe. I'm going with you" He tells me pulling my into his arms and kissing my forehead
"You sure? I love you Jack but Courtney is probably going to try to kill me and so is everyone else" I mumble
"Yes babe. Come on and pack and no dressing grungy. Wear your badass clothes" He tells me
I nod and get up and getting dressed and packing my bag. Soon enough I walk out to my Charger and slide in and we are off to my home town. I pull up to my dad's house and step out and walk in without knocking.
"Who is here" I hear my dad call
"It's me daddy" I call
He walks in and smiles and hugs me.
"How is my baby?" HE asks
"Oh i'm great" Jack says
"GOod to know. Still taking care of my girl?" Dad asks him
"Always. Except she won't let go of the past" Jack says
"No one will ever understand what I went through" I mumble and pull away from my dad and go to my old room
When i push the door open I didn't expect Gage to be in there and I gasp. He whirls around and looks at me with wide eyes.
"um what are you doing here?" I ask
"Your home" He says not looking at me anymore
"Only for a few days then i'm leaving again" I tell him
"Miranda please don't leave. I love you" He tells me and steps towards me
I back away until my back hits the wall.
"Gage don't do this. Sammy" I whisper
He slams his lips to mine and my arms go around his neck and I kiss him back. I pull back and push him off and walk out of the room. I run down stairs and out the door. I jump in my car and drive straight to Toby's. I get out and walk in without knocking and straight to him.
"Toby just tell me what the hell you are up to so I can leave" I tell him
"Now why would I tell you?" He asks smirking
I pull out my gun and aim it at his face.
"Tell me and I won't shoot you dead. I don't have time for this" I yell
"Your dad is in on it. I'm just the messenger" He stutters out
"Thank you. That's all I wanted to know. Give Tams loves for me" I say walking out and driving back to my dads
I walk in and aim the gun at my dad.
"Just fucking tell me." I snap at him
"Miranda calm down honey." Dad tells me
"Don't fucking tell me to calm down. Just tell me what I want to know so I can get out of this fucking town" I roar at him
"You have changed" I hear behind me
"No shit. When back shit happens to you then you tend to change. Now daddy be a good boy and tell me what I want to know so I can save your life or let the packers have you. I don't have time for this. I want to get out before Courtney and everyone knows i'm here" I snap
"They already know your here" Gage says
"Well I plan on being gone before they see me. Jack deal with this I can't. I need to go" I say putting my gun away
I grab my bag and get in my car and leave. The last thing I see is Gage shouting my name.
Eight months later
The months had flew by and Jack had gave my number to Gage so we talked everyday but never about Courtney or Sammy or what happened. Gage had finally got me agree to come back. They were having a huge pool party and he waned me to come. I packed a bag and drove home once again. When arrived Gage was waiting on me. I walked over and hugged him tight and he kissed me.
"I missed you" He whispers
"me too" I tell him still hugging him
"OOh look at that. She finally came home and stopped running" I hear behind me
I turn around to see Courtney standing there in her blue bathing suit.
"Hey Court" I say
"Miranda. How you been?" She asks
"Ok i guess. Could be better" I say shrugging
"Well let's not stand here waiting for the grass to grow." She says and grabs my hand and pulls me inside
Everyone gasps and runs over hugging me and I hug them back biting back my smile.
"Randa. How you been?" They all ask
"I'm ok." I say shrugging
"Oh don't let her fool you. She's doing great." I hear behind me
I whirl around to see Jack standing there. I rush over hugging him.
"Thank you" I whisper
"I knew you couldn't take much before you broke so here I am" Jack says
I mumble a thank you into his chest and he pulls back kissing the top of my head.
"Go change" He tells me
I sigh but nod and run off to change and I come back in a bright green bathing suit. I take a seat in one of the chairs and glare at the water. Ever since it happened I don't swim anymore. I laid out tanning and listening to everyone else talk about how I shouldn't be here.
"Come on let's get you inside before you burn." Gage says lifting me up
I wrap my arms and legs around him and he carries me inside.
"I knew she would do this. She has turned into a slut moving on to my sister's man" Courtney says
I growl and jump down and stomp over to her. I pull her around and sit in front of her.
"Courtney I didn't move on to Gage. We are friends. S-S-Sammy would want him happy even if it was with me but we aren't together. Now I understand you blame me and that's ok. I will take the blame even thought she joined us and joined the mission on her own. Blame me all fucking day because no one can blame me anymore than I blame myself. She may have been your sister but she was my fucking best friend. Hate me all day. You can all hate me but no one can hate me more than I can hate myself." I yell at her
"You did this. You took her with you. You don't know what Sammy would have wanted" Courtney yells
Jack hands me my lap top and I sit it down and pull up the file. I click it and it opens and shows the video of the night Sammy died.
"You say I don't know what Sammy wanted but I do. Because I held her in my arms and cried as I watched the life leave her eyes. I held her while she cried telling me to make sure Gage was happy. While she told me to make sure you moved on with life and got married and had a baby or millions of babies. I held my best friend and watched her die. I hate myself every day for not being able to save her. I watch this video every fucking night to remind myself to never get close to anyone again. Why do you think I never come home. I know you all fucking blame me for Sammy dying. So watch the video and still blame me. But don't you dare say I don't know what Sammy wanted. This thirty minute video is of her death. I hope you can handle it" I say stepping away and turning around
I slowly start walking away when my head starts swaying and I collapse. Just before I hit the ground Jack catches me and I start sobbing. I start struggling and kicking and screaming.
"Calm down babes. It's ok. Let it out" Jack whispers in my ear
"It's my fault. I should have told her no. But she wouldn't let me go alone. It's my fault she died that night. It was suppose to be me not her. I wanna trade with her. Jack bring her back and let me die please" I scream
All he does is hold me and let me cry it out.
Jack's POV
I held her in my arms and watched her finally let it all out. When she was done her whole body relaxed and she was asleep. I scooped her up and took her to a room and placed her in bed and covered her up. I kissed her forehead and walked out closing the door. I stomped back to the living room to see everyone crying and whispering. Courtney just sat there staring at nothing. I walked over grabbing her and spinning her around.
"You will sit here and watch this video and then when it's done you will sit here and think about every horrible thing you have said or thought about Randa and then you will get on your knees and beg her to forgive you. I watch her watch this stupid video every night and cry. I watch her self harm. I watch her try to piece her heart back together for it to just break again the next day. You will never understand what she went through that night. I found her barely alive cause she starved herself. She wouldn't eat, sleep or even talk. She stared at the goddamn wall all day and night for four months straight. So here like the good bitch you are and watch the video and then find a way to make it Miranda's fault all over again" I yell at her
SHe flinches and I press play and I sit there and watch her watch the video.
"Randa I need you to make sure Gage moves on and is happy even if it is with you. And make sure Courtney doesn't blame you for the rest of your life. I know she will it's who she is. But this was my choice and I did my job. I saved you like I was suppose to. Remember that after every storm there is a rainbow at the end. Love hard and never let go. Don't hate yourself Randa. It's ok. You will be ok. And Jack loves you and will be there to pick you up when you fall at your lowest. T-tell Court it's ok. Tell her I love her. Remember to always love your hardest cause you never know when it will all end. I l-l-love you R-randa" Sammy says before her voice is gone
THe only thing you see is Miranda holding Sammy rocking back and forth crying. I see Miranda out of the corner of my eye walk over to the table and before she falls to her knees crying again.
"I'm sorry Sammy" She cries out
I sigh and lean down pulling her into my arms.
"It's ok babes. Sammy loves you and doesn't blame you" I tell her
"Please just make it stop. I don't wanna feel like this anymore." She cries
"Baby" Gage says kneeling in front of her
"Don't" Miranda whispers
"It's ok. You will be ok. Sammy loves you. She doesn't blame you. It was her choice to go. It's ok. Let go" Gage tells her
He pulls her from me and sits her in his lap and rocks her back and forth. She clings to him and sobs her heart out.
"It's going to be ok" Gage says
"It's never going to be ok. It's always going to be awful." She says standing up
She walks away and comes back dressed in her leather gear with her gun on her side. Everyone gasps and she walks over towards Courtney and closes her lap top and places it in her bag. She walks outside and we follow her. She places her bag in her car and then walks around opening the driver door.
"Where are you going?" Gage asks
"Back to the packers. I don't belong here. No one is ever going to stop blaming or hating me for getting Sammy killed. It's always going to be my fault and i'm ok with it. I've learned to live with it but I can't live with it here. This is never going to be my home again." She says
She reaches in the car and walks over to Courtney and hands her a letter.
"What's this?" Courtney asks
"Sammy told me to give you that if something ever happened to her. She wrote that the day she joined us. I really am sorry" Randa says and walks back to her car
She slides in and I walk over to her and grab the door before she can close it.
"Don't run" I tell her
"It's already done. Nothing is going to change and it's time for me to accept that and move on with my life in the best way I can" She says not looking at me
She closes the door and pulls away not looking back.
"Where is she going?" Gage asks
"I don't know. I've never seen her like this. The fight in her is gone. She finally let go of Sammy and realized her friendship with Courtney will never happen. She's done with trying to get you all to approve of her again. Your one chance to make it right just left. She is going to move on with her life and the best thing you can do is move on with yours. The video has been emailed to all of you. So now you get to live every day the way she has for the past three years." I say walking away
Miranda's POV
I drove away that day and never looked back. I continued taking missions and catching the bad guys and tried to keep busy.
"Randa" Jake calls
"Yes?" I say
"We still on for tonight?" He asks
"Of course. I'll see you at eight. Let me finish up here and i'll meet you there." I tell him
He nods and walks away and I smile and finish up on the tredmill. I finally shut it down and headed to my apartment and showered. While I got ready I played Sammy's video and sighed.
"I'm sorry Sammy." I whisper to myself
Another two years had passed and I had met Jake and we had been dating for a year. I still think about Courtney and Gage every day but Jake helps make it better. I quickly got ready and made my way to the door just as the bell rang. I open it up to see Jack standing there.
"Well well look who is in a dress" He says pushing past me
"Get out. I'm leaving" I tell him
"We need to talk" he says taking a seat
"Ok what?" I ask sitting at the bar
"It's been two years. You can't keep running" He says
"I know how long it's been. And I'm not running. I moved on with my life" I tell him
"Miranda no you haven't" He says
Just as I was about to speak my doorbell rang again. I sigh and walk over and open the door and Jake steps in.
"Hi love" He says kissing my forehead
"Hi honey" I say smiling
"Who the hell are you?" Jack says
"Jack this is Jake. Jake is my boyfriend" I say
Jack's eyes go wide and I smirk.
"Oh" He says
"Yes. So i have moved on. What goes on in my life is no longer your business." I tell him
"Um see I didn't expect this. And you can kill me later but Gage and Courtney are about to walk through your down in three seconds" He says backing away from me
Just as I step forward they walk in the door and I sigh.
"I will kill you later. Now what are you two doing in my home?" I ask
"Well I realized I shouldn't have blamed you for Sammy. After reading her letter it hit me hard and it was to late to come after you. I'm sorry for blaming you for so long" Courtney says
"OKayyyy. Now Gage what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" I ask him
"Well I come to say I was sorry for also blaming you. A part of me blamed you for taking her and another part blamed you for working your way into my heart." He says shrugging
"Well thanks for that but as you can see I moved on with my life and that no longer includes any of you. I am done fighting to make anyone see that it wasn't my fault. I realized a while ago Sammy's death wasn't my fault. She signed the contract not me. She went on the mission. She jumped in front of me. God I wish it was me most days but I held her in my arms and listened to her talk about you both. I called for help. I begged and pleaded for them to get there in time but they didn't. I will no longer feel bad about and blame myself for her death. I'm done with it all. The best way I moved on was remembering that Sammy loved me and was my best friend and she didn't blame me for her getting shot. Sammy will always be the bigger person the you two ever will be. Now if your quiet done I have a date and would like to leave for it" I say smiling
"Randa we really are sorry. You don't have to forgive us we just want you to know we are sorry." Courtney tells me
"I don't think I can ever forgive you for putting me through that. Sammy would be ashamed of you both if she was here right now" I tell them
"I am very ashamed" I hear behind me
I whirl around to see Sammy standing there in her black leather looking beautiful as ever. I gasp and I collapse. Jake catches me and sits me down on the stool. I was panting hard and my vision was blurring horribly.
"Rand calm down sweetie. It's ok. It's a long story but i'm ok. I need you to breathe for me" Sammy says
She places her hands on my face and I sigh and lean into her touch. She smiles and tears flood my eyes.
"Don't cry sweetie. I'm Ok. I'm not going anywhere anymore. I promise. But I need you to calm down so I can explain. Jordan came to me and told me what was going to happen. He shot me. It had the elixir in it to almost stop my heart. I'm sorry I lied to you and I'm so sorry I put you through that but it had to be done. Jordan put me undercover for the past five years and now my job is done and I'm free of this life. I can be normal again. Hey I even met someone." She says smiling
"Your really here" I say placing my hands on her face
"Out of everything I said you just realizing i'm here" She giggles
I wrap my arms around her and she laughs and hugs me back.
"I missed you so much" I whisper
"I missed you to bug" She says
She pulls back and turns around to face Courtney and Gage.
"You two. I'm ashamed of you both. You blamed her for something that was not her fault." Sammy snaps
"Woah Sammy it's ok. I accepted it. I moved on. Now who is this guy?" I ask
"Oh his name is Josh and we worked together and we actually are engaged. We both just got out and moved right down the road from you. I have been watching you for the past two years and I see what goes through your head before you even think it. It's time to finally let go and be happy. Randa get out of this life. Your 28 years old. It's time to get married and settle down and have a few babies." She tells me
"Alright Sammy. You win as always." I tell her
"Um not to be rude or anything but we have totally missed our reservations now. How about we all go out together. It seems like tonight couldn't get any better anyways" Jake says
"Are you sure?" Sammy asks
"Why not?" I ask
"You know why not" Sammy says
Jake goes wide eyed and Sammy nods.
"Now" He says
"Now" She tells him
I look around scared and Jake kneels down on one knee.
"This year has been crazy and dangerous. But we met each other and fell in love and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you Marry me?" Jake asks
"Yes. Hell yes" I scream
He chuckles and slips the ring on my finger and he kisses me. I smile and step back and Sammy cheers.
"Congrats" SHe squeals
"You knew" I say
"I did. I watched him like a hawk to make sure he was being true. I watched him stress for weeks upon weeks about finding the perfect ring. I walked into a store before him and told the sales lady and told her to show him that ring. He picked it right away but yet he was stunned that it was already paid for. By the way that was me" She says smiling
I smile and hug her and when I pull back Jack pulls Sammy into his arms and kisses her forehead. I take a step back shocked that Jack was the one who she was with.
"You knew" I whisper
"Randa" Jack starts
"You knew this whole time. You knew and you let me think for five fucking years that it was my fault. You knew I was self harming. You knew I watched that video every night wishing it was me and not her. How many times did you hold me and rock me to sleep huh? How many nights did you hold my hair while I got sick? You knew this whole time and you watched me blame myself. You watched my best friends blame me for something that wasn't my fault. I'm so stupid" I say turning my back to them
"Rand" Sammy says
"Don't. Just get out all of you." I whisper
"Randa" Jack starts
"Get out. Get out now" I scream
Everyone jumps but leaves. As soon as the last person was out I slammed the door and locked it.
Sammy's POV
As soon as the door slammed we heard things smashing.
"Ugh I'm going to have to clean that up and replace everything again. I shouldn't have lied to her. I could have told her and she wouldn't have said anything to anyone. She just would have been happy you were alive." Jack says rubbing my temples
"Baby you know you couldn't say anything" I say to him
"Sammy you didn't see her those first three years. You don't know how she ended up in the hospital for trying to kill herself. She is never going to forgive me" Jack mumbles
"Go in there. I will go home and wait. You guys are welcome to come with me" I tell the others who nod
We all head to my house and when we enter we all plop down on he furniture.
"So you have been alive this whole time?" Gage asks
"Yes. It was planned for me to get shot. It needed to be done but I didn't think you two would turn your back on your best friend. You two were suppose to be her rock and instead you turned your backs on her. So don't expect forgiveness from me. If she had you two she wouldn't be so bad right now. Yes I lied but I lied to keep you all safe. Be mad at me but make it right with your best friend. She loves you two more than anything but you two are to blind by hate to see that" I say standing up
Jack's POV
I picked the lock and walked in to see glass broken every where. I walk through the house and find her sitting in the corner with bleeding hands. I rush in the bathroom and grab a wet wash cloth and run over to her.
"Randa i'm so sorry love. I love you more than anything. You are my best friend and I'm sorry I had to lie to you. But we did it to protect you. Please don't hate me" I whisper
She looks at me with teary eyes and smacks the fuck out of me. I wince and look back at her and the tears pour down her cheeks.
"I deserve that." I tell her wiping her hands off
"If you ever lie to me again I will be done" She whispers
I sigh and pull her into my arms and she clings to me like I would disappear from her.
"I love you" I tell her
"Don't leave me" She whispers
"What do you mean lovely? I'm not going anywhere" I tell her
"Your with Sammy. Your going to leave me. Don't leave me" She says again
"Babes just cause I'm with Sammy doesn't mean I will leave you." I tell her hugging her close
"Gage did" She whispers
"Ah I see. Your afraid it will happen again. Babes you are the love of my life. I love Sammy with my whole heart but you are my sunshine. I'm not going anywhere. Anywhere, Anytime" I tell her
"Promise" She says
"Promise" I say kissing the top of her head
She sighs and snuggles closer to me and I move us to the bed. Soon enough she was asleep and I lay there running my fingers through her hair. I get up and go to clean everything up and place orders to replace everything. Sammy and the other come walking in and sigh.
"She ok?" Sammy asks
"She thinks i'm going to leave her." I say
"Ah. I know what she means. Her and Gage were best friends and when Gage and I dated he kinda pushed her away. She doesn't wanna lose you so I get it. Keep your promise" Sammy says
"I will. She's broken but with some effort she will be our girl again. Now she's gonna be hungry when she gets up. Let me make her something to eat and you guys finish picking things up. After cooking and cleaning it took two hours and Miranda come walking out of her room in her batman jammies and I smile. She walked over to me and sat down in my lap and curled up.
"How you feeling baby?" Jake asks her
"I'm ok" She says
I look at her and she nods and she looks at Courtney.
"I forgive you" She says
Courtney's eyes widen and she walks over dropping to her knees to hug Miranda.
"Thank you" Courtney says
Miranda nods and pulls back and look at Gage.
"It's going to take longer. You were my best friend and you just up and decided that it was all my fault. I expected that shit from Courtney but not you out of all people" She says leaning back into me
"I understand. But lovely I am sorry. And I will spend my life trying to make it right if that's what it takes." He says walking over to her and hands he a necklace
"How did you get this?" Randa asks
"It wasn't easy and many airtanks later I found it under a rock at the bottom of the lake." He says kneeling in front of her
She doesn't say anything she just launches herself in his arms and he hugs her tight.
"I'm sooo sorry lovely" Gage says
"It's ok. I'm to tired to be mad anymore. I'm just so tired" She says yawning and laying her head on his shoulder
He stands up with her in his arms and walks over to the recliner and sits down rocking her.
"I love you" She whispers before she falls asleep
"We love you too" We all whisper
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