During the morning and afternoon, I and my older host sister stayed at Grandgie’s house and waited for host mom and dad to come to take us.
I like grilled toast, I think I can make it be my school lunch.
Sometimes I would feel world-weary, for no reason, could you understand? I felt that in the afternoon. Just, don’t wanna do anything, lose enthusiasm, feel no emotion. It is just like the conditions that I use too much smartphone. Empty.
And then I went to memorize vocabulary, the efficiency was high, haha.
Oh, maybe not for no reason. In the morning I made a little mistake, very little, little that no one would remember. I forgot either. But now I think that's why I felt “upset”.
I understand myself. I don’t really believe constellations, but Leo indeed could explain something about me. I have high self-esteem. I hate shame. This shame is not defined by other people, it is defined by myself. I could accept my score worse than my classmate or other people scold me, but couldn’t accept that I made mistakes. Though I know that both people and I will forget, or people don’t care at all. Ugh, I wanna be free, mind’s freedom, I am practicing now.
My host dad said we will go camping on Thursday, so I have two days to do my homework. Ugh, I don’t like homework.
I noticed that I more like get along with America elders than Taiwan. Actually I am not really close with my own grandparents, but if I saw my host grandparents, I would feel happy.
I discussed this with my Hong Kong friend also, she said that maybe because American elders treat us more like friends. I agree, I feel it deeply. The other reasons I think maybe because I grown up, I think my ability of dealing with people also grown, knowing how to get along with people including elders better. Another one is and I meet my host grandparents more times. I’m not usually see my grandparents in Taiwan, of course have no deeply communication. But in American you know. At least once a week.
上午和下午，我和我的寄宿姐姐住在爺爺家，等著寄宿的爸爸媽媽來接我們。
我喜歡烤吐司，我想我可以讓它成為我的學校午餐。
有時我會無緣無故地厭倦世界，你能理解嗎？下午就有這種感覺了。只是，什麼都不想做，失去熱情，感覺不到情緒。這就像我使用太多智能手機的情況一樣。空的。
然後我去背單詞，效率很高，哈哈。
哦，也許不是無緣無故的。早上我犯了一個小錯誤，非常非常小，沒有人會記得。我也忘記了。但現在我想這就是我感到“不安”的原因。
我理解我自己。我不太相信星座，但獅子座確實可以解釋一些關於我的事情。我有很高的自尊。我討厭羞恥。這種恥辱不是別人定義的，是我自己定義的。我可以接受我的成績比我的同學差或別人罵我，但不能接受我犯了錯誤。雖然我知道人和我都會忘記，或者人們根本不在乎。呃，我想要自由，心靈的自由，我現在正在練習。
我的主人爸爸說我們星期四要去露營，所以我有兩天時間做功課。呃，我不喜歡家庭作業。
我發現比起台灣，我更喜歡和美國的長輩相處。其實我和自己的祖父母並不親近，但如果我看到我的寄宿祖父母，我會感到高興。
我也和我的香港朋友討論過這個問題，她說可能是因為美國長輩對待我們更像朋友。我同意，我深有體會。其他的原因我想可能是因為我長大了，我覺得我與人打交道的能力也長大了，知道如何更好地與包括長輩在內的人相處。另一個是我和我的寄宿祖父母見面更多次。平時在台灣見不到祖父母，當然也沒有深入的交流。但是在美國你知道。至少每週一次。144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPG6f4s8Lm
