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Sitting on the roof, I stared up at the sky. Why did happiness last so little? Why is it impossible to be happy for an extended period of time? Why does sadness always tag along, right behind, and even though we know it will eventually come, it still hits Rock hard? It hurts. It hurts like hell.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXS4LiOkWM
Just yesterday, I was sitting with my family, in our little living room, having a fun, cosy little movie night, which we usually had on weekends.
Everything seemed perfect. in fact, I wanted time to stop so I could frame the moment.
But, we don't always get what we want in life.
Today, a few hours ago, I experienced pain like none other. I refused to believe what had just happened. It all just happened too quickly.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO40i39yAVP
We were crossing the road after grocery shopping, I had skipped forwards and had already reached the other side, and then I heard an excruciating scream. I looked back and I saw it. She lay there road, lifeless, bleeding profusely, and her eyes, shut close, with tears visible on her cheeks.
I lost my Sister.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgMjZPQbLs
Yesterday, I told her how annoying she was and how I would rather have an elf for a sister. But, today, I would do absolutely anything, to get her to annoy me again, to get her to pull my hair again, to call me a little devil again, to get her to take pictures of me while I sleep secretly.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1p8EZw8Pt8
Yesterday, we had fought over who would get the bigger glass of Lemonade, but today, id do anything to be able to share just one lemonade with her again.
I had always hated her for secretly stealing my clothes and refusing to return them when she got caught, but today, I would gladly give her all my clothes, just to be able to have one more makeover with her again.
Just a week ago, we had fought over which movie to watch, and I had lost the fight, watching the movie she had picked with a big frown on my face, but today I would gladly give her the remote, just to be able to cuddle with her while watching one more movie.
I remember how we always took pictures for each other and hated to take pictures together, but today, id gladly take a million pictures with her, just to be able to be close to her.
We always fought over our bunk bed, who would get to sleep on the top bunk, and I had always won and teased her about it. But today, id gladly take the lower bunk, just to be able to spend one more night with my sister.
She had always teased me for being the less smart one, and I used to feel annoyed and offended, but today, I realise, she just said those things to motivate me to work harder, she just thought for the betterment of me.
On plane rides, we had always fought about who would get the window seat, and being the younger sister, my mother always forced my sister to let me have it, and she had always rolled her eyes and given in, but today, I wish I could've given her the window seat, just to be able to see a smile on her face.
I had always been so selfish. I had always wanted everything for myself, never caring about anyone else.
I sit here on the roof, thinking, what could I have done differently?
Why did I have to walk so fast and not even bother a glance back?
Why did I not walk along with my sister, who already had lots of groceries in her hand, which I hadn't bothered carrying for her?
Why did I not die with her? perhaps then I wouldn't feel so miserable right now, perhaps then I could feel the guilt of being responsible for her death.
I wipe the tears that had slipped from my eyes, with the back of my sleeves.
Tonight is for my sister.
I stared at the sky wondering if she is watching me from above.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyej3w30Rs
If she were alive, we would be sitting here together, and talking about our day.
I looked at the spot she usually sat, and placed my hand there, her absence, sent a new wave of tears down my eyes.
I had to move on, even though I didn't want to.
I know she would've wanted me to move on.
Maybe life will be normal after today, but there will be a missing spot in my heart, and emptiness that can never be filled.
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