讀完了吞雲雀的《色彩戰爭》。318Please respect copyright.PENANAkMUAlVCiDZ
318Please respect copyright.PENANAk4k4XFXeIR
簡單講一下我的想法。318Please respect copyright.PENANASvKyn47axV
318Please respect copyright.PENANAotU8OBhxnI
首先是世界觀,本作融合了色彩與遊戲這兩項元素,光是第一個要素就顯得十分特別了,加上後者則更顯得獨樹一格,感覺挺有巧思的。318Please respect copyright.PENANAxeu0iIMoZ9
318Please respect copyright.PENANALCYhhUyNmf
而在色彩相關的敘述和設定上,也能感覺十分紮實,有一定的厚度,我挺喜歡這種感覺的。318Please respect copyright.PENANAD0UULV9J8e
318Please respect copyright.PENANASp1cu96T38
然後是角色。個人認為主要人物的描述顯得有些單薄,雖然能看見行文中加了表情、動作,但缺乏記憶點。318Please respect copyright.PENANAbiEsQImKBY
318Please respect copyright.PENANAG2zYszjWbS
除了在設定上,可以構思某個角色的特別之處、反差,也能多講述一點角色的背景、想法,以便凸顯人物。318Please respect copyright.PENANAn27FzMerxk
318Please respect copyright.PENANA0eOH2HNysO
接著是行文。318Please respect copyright.PENANAZFSr1u132A
318Please respect copyright.PENANAqWFujxYXZA
本作的行文相當不錯,不過由於是第三人稱呈現,文字會顯得疏離。因此,可以多注意一下「主要視點」。318Please respect copyright.PENANApYlfYBxiBZ
318Please respect copyright.PENANA4fSp7egMQy
設定某位角色(應該蠻多時候是安苒)作為中心,並且描述他內心的想法,並且觀察其他角色的行動,並推測他們各自的想法。318Please respect copyright.PENANAGyiGIu8MP8
318Please respect copyright.PENANApLFbhfOnr8
如此一來,也會比較拉進角色跟讀者的距離。318Please respect copyright.PENANA9BmPsCXco7
318Please respect copyright.PENANAUJkSsaQCKs
另外,雲雀擅長描寫場景中的「物件」,我覺得很不錯,而相形之下,背景有時便顯得模糊,或許可以針對這點再多加描述。318Please respect copyright.PENANABLBqFcZGCp
318Please respect copyright.PENANABsVrIuMEt9
至於臺詞方面,感覺蠻活潑且充滿幽默的,這點我覺得挺好的。318Please respect copyright.PENANABIMTviKsg9
318Please respect copyright.PENANAuiPEC0PAEC
大概是這樣。318Please respect copyright.PENANARZvHhYSyNL
318Please respect copyright.PENANA7ue4YtO6Zb
如果有興趣的話,歡迎各位朋友來讀讀看。318Please respect copyright.PENANAy5PmYeAOi1
318Please respect copyright.PENANABNKRaO1jMJ
penana.com/story/126408/色彩戰爭