It's been about two weeks since the wedding, and my lip has returned to its normal state. I can't say I'm not pleased.462Please respect copyright.PENANAzEX167jWhp
462Please respect copyright.PENANAoFKXRlMxaG
I haven't seen David since the morning after the wedding; I've had at least one photo shoot each day, which is a 180 from the level of struggles that I was facing not even four months ago.462Please respect copyright.PENANAy63zvWQulP
462Please respect copyright.PENANAd0Xjbbo52h
As I walk to the kitchen in my small apartment, I begin to wonder... what does David do? He's never told me. He must have a pretty good job to own two houses, but somehow, I've been fuckíng the man for weeks now and I still don't know.462Please respect copyright.PENANAhYSnmAamUu
462Please respect copyright.PENANAdweAtHYVeK
I shrug off the thought, and reach up to open the cabinet and pull down the jar of Jablum Instant Coffee, I feel a sharp pain in the left side of my pelvis.462Please respect copyright.PENANAgTVqlKvgcR
462Please respect copyright.PENANAQzjKXcf4Kq
"Fuck," I hiss, bending over.462Please respect copyright.PENANADaPNMRVhF1
462Please respect copyright.PENANADMIjDJzUmY
This is what you get for not eating dinner last night. Gas pains.462Please respect copyright.PENANAXz7cZ961Tr
462Please respect copyright.PENANAPMbEdHtYYS
I straighten up and reach for the coffee again, this time retrieving it, and make myself a cup of steaming black coffee with scrambled eggs and bread along with it (I'm too lazy to do anything else).462Please respect copyright.PENANAgTyY0w5arL
462Please respect copyright.PENANAVGLHGTMaXe
So, back to David. What does he do? For some reason, I wouldn't be surprised if he was into some shady shit. 462Please respect copyright.PENANAFKv3y8gD48
462Please respect copyright.PENANAOtgkz4dJmU
Oh, well. 462Please respect copyright.PENANABfLqxMUE8f
462Please respect copyright.PENANA6z8Uvdu21w
I guess I'll just have to ask the next time I see him. I make a mental note to do so, and even though I'm extremely forgetful, I'm pretty sure that I'll remember this.462Please respect copyright.PENANAoZ9vdJCmcI
462Please respect copyright.PENANAelkJmUn1Yk
After resolving to ask David about his occupation the next time we speak, I continue to eat, not really for the taste of the food, but rather out of necessity. It's something that happens to me sometimes — I don't feel the urge to eat, but I know that I have to do I force myself to.462Please respect copyright.PENANARdynMjclf5
462Please respect copyright.PENANAeynIzKI8FF
On other occasions, I'm like a pig, consuming everything in sight until I feel as if I'm about to burst like that poor man at the end of 'Monty Python's The Meaning of Life'. 462Please respect copyright.PENANAQnkTP3etur
462Please respect copyright.PENANA9sDWGIhDkB
I have no idea why my eating patterns are so random — they aren't affected by my mood or period, they just seem inconsistent.462Please respect copyright.PENANAsYOabcBJst
462Please respect copyright.PENANA0fe4ifAN7G
After I finish and wash up the plates, I go back to my room and check my phone.462Please respect copyright.PENANAIVhgr7WZMu
462Please respect copyright.PENANA87QU5FtbPp
I have two missed calls from none other than Marcus.462Please respect copyright.PENANAvzJDHmmMVp
462Please respect copyright.PENANAamgc8wgofg
"Answer your goddamn phone," he growls when I call him back.462Please respect copyright.PENANAEU32zrCaxU
462Please respect copyright.PENANALhNw2w0mCQ
"Whatever. Why are you calling me?"462Please respect copyright.PENANArvdP4DH0Z9
462Please respect copyright.PENANAN6BfA0yWWl
"You have a new job offering. It's an event. But—"462Please respect copyright.PENANASRevXFjblo
462Please respect copyright.PENANA30dMaUgR69
"I—"462Please respect copyright.PENANAhGZlKEzw9y
462Please respect copyright.PENANAyePiMSGNHf
"But—"462Please respect copyright.PENANAvBirIktVaw
462Please respect copyright.PENANA8mpa84CpBk
"You—"462Please respect copyright.PENANAAzkIbtMzJC
462Please respect copyright.PENANA0u9Z98a7JB
"But," he says, drawing out the word so that I will let him continue.462Please respect copyright.PENANALrdOhBgF8S
462Please respect copyright.PENANAImcK0PiLky
I shut up.462Please respect copyright.PENANAD6mDHl7ZCr
462Please respect copyright.PENANAfat7d6bIYO
"It's a free speaking/poetry open mic event. They're offering thirty thousand, because they're a little low on funding, but—"462Please respect copyright.PENANAuhPvAhThzK
462Please respect copyright.PENANAb0HPam50gj
"I'll go," I say before he can finish his sentence. I love poetry — and he knows it. I love reading it, I love writing it, I love hearing it. There's no way I'm passing up this opportunity.462Please respect copyright.PENANA19sM9lqIkO
462Please respect copyright.PENANAAyGq52pkMp
"Great. It's on Thursday coming at nine p.m. I'll text you the address and remember to get there early."462Please respect copyright.PENANAZBsIgd3Tai
462Please respect copyright.PENANAUMjSBNdlSs
"Yes, sir!" I say in mock salute.462Please respect copyright.PENANAHVt5vCSKzk
462Please respect copyright.PENANA8NzrhdBN4n
I hear him laugh through the phone.462Please respect copyright.PENANADzlI9wT6kv
462Please respect copyright.PENANAobyXNHucnF
"By, Leah."462Please respect copyright.PENANAXbDRY0udpo
462Please respect copyright.PENANAqVcSgeROiX
"Bye."462Please respect copyright.PENANAHQC2EHOYsH
462Please respect copyright.PENANALTe3c9BTct
I sigh as I hang up the phone. Today is Monday. What is it with all of the late bookings? 462Please respect copyright.PENANANwE880JsTC
462Please respect copyright.PENANArYC3hKWyiy
Well, at least you aren't broke anymore.462Please respect copyright.PENANAQOfjkjGki6
462Please respect copyright.PENANAMwZtzNzPeF
With that optimistic thought in mind, I go back to the kitchen for another cup of coffee.462Please respect copyright.PENANA3ycM2z2zwJ
462Please respect copyright.PENANAVxhZjMGwR3
462Please respect copyright.PENANAWTDtGmFy4W
***462Please respect copyright.PENANAsnvmG6baWD
462Please respect copyright.PENANA8BuD3pjUvl
462Please respect copyright.PENANAZxfzQCZslt
Poetic Justice is a small, intimate setting. It is located outdoors, and has a small stage area with a few small tables and a bar located at the back.462Please respect copyright.PENANAg0Vtp4CJ1X
462Please respect copyright.PENANAxScEegRoY8
"Hello, you must be Leah," says a young woman who has just approached me, dressed in a pair of jeans and a grey blouse.462Please respect copyright.PENANAuqXgfEInLg
462Please respect copyright.PENANA4yMtNnRNK1
"Good evening. Andrea, right?" I ask. That's the name Marcus gave me.462Please respect copyright.PENANADXKICnxxLq
462Please respect copyright.PENANAIfkdOeGniz
"Yes," she replies, and begins to walk, so naturally, I walk with her.462Please respect copyright.PENANATrhuBY4gbp
462Please respect copyright.PENANA1jg96jnYoy
"The bar is straight to the back. Have whatever you want; I've already told the bartender that your drinks are on the house. And feel free to come up and do a little poem; putting down the camera for five minutes won't hurt," she says with a smile, then turns and walks away.462Please respect copyright.PENANAv6KxT451vQ
462Please respect copyright.PENANAsFL1djUQsn
Well that's an odd offer. 462Please respect copyright.PENANAvC1QszQG6r
462Please respect copyright.PENANAmHmED8C7R8
I sigh and place my camera bag on a table near to me and start to set up my camera.462Please respect copyright.PENANANbSnJ1wWua
462Please respect copyright.PENANANG0hVOhxXJ
"Leah," I hear in a voice that is all to familiar.462Please respect copyright.PENANArXNXrwoeFj
462Please respect copyright.PENANAd8u8VQCUEm
"David?" I reply, spinning to face him. "What are you doing here?"462Please respect copyright.PENANAlGMESQ7qjY
462Please respect copyright.PENANAOZlNXcKefa
"I come here all the time," he replies, his eyebrows knitted together, "and I love poetry."462Please respect copyright.PENANATkXT9BCEQe
462Please respect copyright.PENANAR1GnjM1mZq
"So do I."462Please respect copyright.PENANA5RbxNQgCCi
462Please respect copyright.PENANAUV1K7z1Stl
I now have my camera in my hand, and I remember the pressing question that I had for him.462Please respect copyright.PENANAeM8WTBmLGa
462Please respect copyright.PENANAzvGIvjds9c
"What do you do for a living?" I blurt out.462Please respect copyright.PENANAk0iktp06y7
462Please respect copyright.PENANAB8nP9Y2k4N
To be honest, I'm prepared to hear anything; from a drug dealer, to a pimp. I wouldn't judge him, though.462Please respect copyright.PENANA2MZXyjrdNl
462Please respect copyright.PENANAAONOW8wUvA
"I'm a graphic designer."462Please respect copyright.PENANAUoWXCCVOiX
462Please respect copyright.PENANA1hpCln9Uzp
Well I wasn't expecting that.462Please respect copyright.PENANAxsETSR444b
462Please respect copyright.PENANAgsFOyxj02x
"I also sell ganja on the side. I have links with a ganja farmer."462Please respect copyright.PENANArZLRvwFY0O
462Please respect copyright.PENANAIHfGzJteSw
That's more like it.462Please respect copyright.PENANANBCHycvuQ6
462Please respect copyright.PENANAgZVyUCro5a
We stand there in silence for a few seconds, and then he clears his throat.462Please respect copyright.PENANAGRXzh8VA04
462Please respect copyright.PENANA2rMAdatQr6
"I have to, use the bathroom. See you later."462Please respect copyright.PENANAp7bqB6iJNz
462Please respect copyright.PENANA7ELCuh5YuI
"Okay. Bye."462Please respect copyright.PENANAz1dAbH6CBV
462Please respect copyright.PENANAWmUfrBrv7o
He walks off and I go to the bar and get myself a glass of ginger ale. I stand idly by the bar for a few moments, and before I know it, Andrea is on the stage.462Please respect copyright.PENANAjXsmJFVwca
462Please respect copyright.PENANAhbGOU3edA1
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Andrea, and tonight, I'll be your hostess. So as you are all probably aware, we are having a poetry/free speaking open mic event tonight. Who would like to go first?"462Please respect copyright.PENANAbkwPUxqqk5
462Please respect copyright.PENANAfyMofETjMb
A young girl around my age walks awkwardly up to the stage, and performs a dramatic rendition of Dry Foot Bwoy by Louise Bennett.462Please respect copyright.PENANATIKTix16xo
462Please respect copyright.PENANAlmBRDFFINw
As the night continues, I find myself being more and more entertained. One man performs a ballad inspired by his daughter; a young boy performs a free verse dedicated to his mother in the audience. 462Please respect copyright.PENANAJMVqsbFtZe
462Please respect copyright.PENANAvJj5VIfMfx
Then, a tall gentleman steps onto the stage.462Please respect copyright.PENANA387YqPRv8p
462Please respect copyright.PENANAm2n2VuxjqN
"Hello. My name is Henry."462Please respect copyright.PENANAraArHKcmvn
462Please respect copyright.PENANAZ31WOQjJbs
People in the crowd say their greetings.462Please respect copyright.PENANAsRRTeYXtAt
462Please respect copyright.PENANAO3t2xLFtTl
"Tonight, I will be performing a free verse poem I wrote."462Please respect copyright.PENANAhqluNlw96C
462Please respect copyright.PENANA2vrtWOGnRp
He clears his voice, then begins.462Please respect copyright.PENANAK5CM1nrJNM
462Please respect copyright.PENANA3CuDTq8TGy
"Have you ever been in love?462Please respect copyright.PENANAu2KKFWoxok
Had your soul so deeply entwined462Please respect copyright.PENANAhJXEstaO0r
With another's462Please respect copyright.PENANATcmfSQGRPp
That you cannot figure where yours ends462Please respect copyright.PENANADC1fnSna2P
And theirs begins?462Please respect copyright.PENANAvjno9bghwD
So madly and deeply in love462Please respect copyright.PENANA7X3OhfyAbV
That that person's heart beats with yours;462Please respect copyright.PENANA5vbxoJwffJ
Just looking at them is blinding; 462Please respect copyright.PENANAcYUmOc40E3
It's like staring at a supernova 462Please respect copyright.PENANA5q16TJKwH8
But you do it anyway462Please respect copyright.PENANAx7eSJpklvj
Because when she's there462Please respect copyright.PENANATRd0QvC1qG
Logic and Reason die."462Please respect copyright.PENANAJWY3pF4VHM
462Please respect copyright.PENANAQcuT6U4Z6X
I feel my stomach curl with unease, tension filling my body, because I know that it's going to go downhill — I can feel it.462Please respect copyright.PENANAGDadQ5QzkI
462Please respect copyright.PENANAdcCTSqY1iw
"Now imagine what it feels like 462Please respect copyright.PENANAeS9UnEy68S
To have that person462Please respect copyright.PENANAXfwrUlmjjn
Ripped 462Please respect copyright.PENANA78TzVSgJ5o
From your life;462Please respect copyright.PENANAUx23eZuuZe
Torn away from you.462Please respect copyright.PENANAcf0sHMzowG
You can't breathe. 462Please respect copyright.PENANAsAWEuVZYoC
You're dead, yet you aren't,462Please respect copyright.PENANApgbTkXhY5R
You still 462Please respect copyright.PENANAO6RPNPIC49
Walk462Please respect copyright.PENANAmVcklmIbip
Talk462Please respect copyright.PENANAiQzcWMmIYJ
Interact 462Please respect copyright.PENANAzIoyKCUOiP
With the people around you,462Please respect copyright.PENANA3ckJ13jjk7
But on the on the inside, 462Please respect copyright.PENANA2mpGedmE83
You're hollow;462Please respect copyright.PENANAdvaUvP54jt
Dead."462Please respect copyright.PENANAhkK0944suG
462Please respect copyright.PENANAJhzU8WTn4H
This is not how my night was supposed to go.462Please respect copyright.PENANAOhKXl3RXIR
462Please respect copyright.PENANA67nILPkUnD
"It's been ten years,462Please respect copyright.PENANATN6IaslytE
My love, 462Please respect copyright.PENANAWarLBZMeeQ
And every day, 462Please respect copyright.PENANAdWtFrpkprB
Every hour, 462Please respect copyright.PENANATwHbk0ED8b
Every second without you 462Please respect copyright.PENANAcplUwGzn6Y
Feels like 462Please respect copyright.PENANAckt9GMwOOB
Torture."462Please respect copyright.PENANAM5BlU4gSoj
462Please respect copyright.PENANAFsvIokmIID
462Please respect copyright.PENANAzno8XJZsq7
By now, I feel like I'm being tortured. I want to leave, but as I look through the viewfinder of my camera, I know more than anything that I can't.462Please respect copyright.PENANA5AyHFq7RjR
462Please respect copyright.PENANABjIyMeefS6
"I would ask for 462Please respect copyright.PENANAw3OOf0Z49K
Forgiveness,462Please respect copyright.PENANABEMDUaSQ4q
But I can see that you've... 462Please respect copyright.PENANA8faH7D0U8v
Moved on, 462Please respect copyright.PENANAWyNDQSsrbP
And found happiness elsewhere. 462Please respect copyright.PENANA1pkoCgnEQ1
And I have to live462Please respect copyright.PENANA9x7nzCgAc5
With the consequences 462Please respect copyright.PENANAXErCLWGdwg
Of my stupid actions 462Please respect copyright.PENANAovHCPMR0Hk
For the rest of my life. 462Please respect copyright.PENANAeKKTk0Hxrm
I have to live with this 462Please respect copyright.PENANAEmWzyTQ9k1
Torture, 462Please respect copyright.PENANAF1toDW60Vv
This 462Please respect copyright.PENANA5woxKyRdsr
Pain,462Please respect copyright.PENANAoXJnDJ7f5n
Because I have never stopped,462Please respect copyright.PENANARIuseJ5PHZ
Loving 462Please respect copyright.PENANAnnQp8lFpBz
You,462Please respect copyright.PENANAc1oQ7vgLVZ
And I don't think I ever will."462Please respect copyright.PENANAKu8b0FzMSe
462Please respect copyright.PENANAgf3Aiq40cL
By the end of the poem, I feel like I might drop my camera.462Please respect copyright.PENANANW9KPQe7gX
462Please respect copyright.PENANArpLoLDCdIc
All of the emotions that I have been trying to surprises come rushing forward as Henry says his poem, because I know exactly what that feels like. I don't want to remember it, but I do.462Please respect copyright.PENANAwdofBGWH3O
462Please respect copyright.PENANANQ2rHORjXS
Tears fill and spill over my eyes as the audience applaud Henry; I can no longer see Henry through the viewfinder of my camera.462Please respect copyright.PENANAFntk61NyWj
462Please respect copyright.PENANA3WtInmxK9Y
This pain, this ache in my chest, this is what happens when you suppress your emotions, and pretend that your past is nonexistent, when you refuse to acknowledge what was once there.462Please respect copyright.PENANA7KXAuocRoX
462Please respect copyright.PENANAUflrEHM6Al
Pressing the ignore button on the past — repeatedly, in my case — is not only disrespectful to the highest degree, but also stupid, because the past won't change.462Please respect copyright.PENANAARfdPKLsVJ
462Please respect copyright.PENANAUyn9xcPlOQ
The fact that I'm in a place called Poetic Justice and my stupidity has finally caught up to me isn't lost on me. How ironic.462Please respect copyright.PENANAffW9lPgUCg
462Please respect copyright.PENANAMamrGSxNOn
Suddenly, a strong arm is wrapped around me, and the camera is being taken out of my hand. I let out a broken sob into his chest as he rubs my back soothingly. I don't even know how long we stand there like this.462Please respect copyright.PENANAzFKw4zUitL
462Please respect copyright.PENANAB7WQTTogmf
In the back of my mind I know that I'm crossing a line, breaking my own rule letting him comfort me like this, but in this moment, I feel too broken to care.462Please respect copyright.PENANAKbvIqx7EdG
462Please respect copyright.PENANAx62fspfNVT
462Please respect copyright.PENANA9dqd9VipuW
***462Please respect copyright.PENANAhyOemK8aEv
462Please respect copyright.PENANAVg9sK9QpeV
462Please respect copyright.PENANApkKwJHQjCm
We finally pull apart, and he looks at me cautiously, as if I'll break.462Please respect copyright.PENANAbzQqtEsCT8
462Please respect copyright.PENANAV9Rpv2TiSS
"I'm okay," I say to reassure him.462Please respect copyright.PENANAeIGNLxIl02
462Please respect copyright.PENANAzlWIgjt4xI
He doesn't look convinced.462Please respect copyright.PENANAazP41jZICj
462Please respect copyright.PENANAIKHpSt5AlO
I look down at the ground and sigh, then look back at him. 462Please respect copyright.PENANAi9BKFni9go
462Please respect copyright.PENANALiDPWTufvR
Then I realise he isn't holding my camera.462Please respect copyright.PENANATm7O5WJSV0
462Please respect copyright.PENANAIgaCrRx3TN
"Where's my camera?" I ask frantically.462Please respect copyright.PENANAEVQzqPCqnd
462Please respect copyright.PENANAf2V9W0W2Kw
He nods behind me, and I see my camera bag sitting on a table behind us. I sigh loudly in relief.462Please respect copyright.PENANAoGuGs1F3El
462Please respect copyright.PENANA3tBTxNb7qE
I look up at him, and maybe it's because of how vulnerable but safe I'm feeling with him right now, but what I say next just feels right.462Please respect copyright.PENANAXnEamq2MQa
462Please respect copyright.PENANAqRCH0zNpIP
"I've been in love before; madly, madly, deeply in love," I say, my voice cracking all over the place. I take a shaky breath. "It hurts to think about what could have been; what will never be. I wanted to be a mother, to be the mother of his children." 462Please respect copyright.PENANAfcIko9dm3X
462Please respect copyright.PENANAyzAcy5I2dV
I'm hyperventilating.462Please respect copyright.PENANATCidEQRAUm
462Please respect copyright.PENANA3evyBrzjTT
"Breathe, Leah. Take deep, steady breaths," he says to me while rubbing circles into my back.462Please respect copyright.PENANA4vIZuzyRKR
462Please respect copyright.PENANAYFgJn8qSG4
When I finally calm down he speaks again.462Please respect copyright.PENANA1gM6trDTgf
462Please respect copyright.PENANAYnKb9dt4HZ
"If you don't mind telling me... what happened?"462Please respect copyright.PENANAxkq60uUKzU
462Please respect copyright.PENANAqiVsXxl2v5
My chest starts to hurt, my eyes are burning, but I owe him an answer. I brought this up.462Please respect copyright.PENANAXYEpzxxnTk
462Please respect copyright.PENANAD9EQrD1S0P
I look him dead in the face as my eyes fill with tears once more.462Please respect copyright.PENANAkcuyT3Peil
462Please respect copyright.PENANAjDQ4HVEYzm
"He died."
ns 15.158.61.53da2