Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvbPPmaBTq
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbYRgXK1jm
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinBB7cFiAK
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDx99YQn4Ck
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLccUdHDrBo
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekhAYaWmbc
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0ZG83Xwb8
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFlBG92kAV
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXE38ZigHM
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcppSgDpWUh
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPKrByIF3i
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVah9QccjM8
as long as you stay here with me543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHWSB0G073
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nRUptppCZ
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3DetZcHpy
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyluqIVNrxw
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSccl83J8l
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAOwFyD1Ya
This has to stop.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGl5mjptk4m
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkukE152iMG
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIgFUztcqp
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvfHhUQCtv
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4t4Htdcuq
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZMlelt1zW
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8DYBjl6kQ
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQen5EprkBT
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6G2788sRQl
"Are you okay?"543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuERSOSR03c
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbLiw19WR1
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UT5Xnxl2Y
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBpurda2rq
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28lsaEJQWo
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLb6TlGbvM
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hkCL7vVtF
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWXvQI0MSe
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9OIZI0tmk
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7dFEdomDt
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqUAXCfLAW
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2q2kPgdBxj
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLPxpPbrt6
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPIZgEoIzT
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhDG94ZQfB
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7c0op82jOp
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBNlgPNm7C
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkR8dexuuFu
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmIxGP4HxI
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrewO01muG
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjBoORhQdK
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbziu4YMF7
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKl2vDFBSYx
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFz0O8P16Yb
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxmXCJbcHP
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73KwINxtfn
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkbV3qEcj1
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8suMFcfm7
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwHdAJ8koa
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbqUrDEU3k
"Yes, you can."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2BqskPCgh
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK85wcb5H0a
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuOcSUe14h
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPCl75lLwi
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtqezu0NJu
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDGYSRAhVR
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIoMZgb8Gi
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxl4xA3OGgp
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWuBmdRTd6
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsYFTIphR4
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJPOPPFUu5
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBtB3T7ycr
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhkCDz1VCq
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWCQ85j5Kk
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWasfQ6qPW
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBz33K1DRjz
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqZx5R8uBC
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOTqrKfFWi
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFkp8fmg80
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuH3Yc5fsB
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LMDxWWExw
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1WGtUdMZU
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzKdu3OLL8
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalHzTMLOOL
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6afcwwtClB
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdta2Lt1LTG
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0LsHvJnNn
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkQWtxyJYQ
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiPslTUgCe
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3QlzZcZzQ
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw06NwX0loo
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yMZ2VPvYg
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHc88u37N3J
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjYA7mei5P
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKiDmfxceP
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEyRCYs3L6
"What's wrong?" 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSnIAMPyh3
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7Tiw5jHHH
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6PfJ4Aw8q
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB37Oy4IO5F
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfZ6TQd2ev
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfM8Q2OZo9
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWhzWiBZOt
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG23fvGm1Qt
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQY66xBddb
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iloDil9so
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5vdZHKdZh
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lbvrAhQCh
He gives me a disapproving look.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkafkObCmnq
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXe3C0KGySL
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTw3WsRcd4
"Are you anorexic?"543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdAjXFjAKs
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHPSytXZJQ
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDBOa9BYJW
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpW7fM81IDD
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5F14rZEagX
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6FqSvwsA8
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYvVPLon2Z
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaT1t7plpg
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzYguDsAbo
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBhInTdWVc
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5780gr7sxL
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnEWdxJsSD
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1tQhoBNZd
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0yRzrqwZ2
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMh13oDOdIK
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6OBCOA8KI
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4Ay4VTorr
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsB0OPbm0X5
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuiMTkyyC1
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1wqzQBCay
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQcW08o6Lt
I ignore it.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9n9AksLcL
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoedYg5Q6Ud
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dO8OpUSvn
"I don't want to get hurt again."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplmtM0n3BV
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwchfYid6t
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzaxUU1YAc
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3v70rSy9d
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0wbWCPJIy
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpfjYF07bx
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUigeTLZ5F3
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdRcfcHzQE
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4Ik2KdMTB
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IfFbGBqfs
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYKpZS9Zyi
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Zo0jVWq0r
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntaKZZor28
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIQjkyKoci
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7CmMYrjFL
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7pqhx2Ls6
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JH1QerYFb
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpL7XkV9rl
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGBxbztH8I
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqOQQw9vTz
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtG297hoLM3
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lpPYayxnh
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE36hYrVuNp
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKPABgNXcp
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1KkGDOvFG
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjZXRs4pHG
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xOCpn2WbY
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbekUY5R9tg
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozkU9jrBfo
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctJihCyUSN
***543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmKIbi9d7Z
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWB34rwXlB
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9656E2QxC
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFs0U61i0js
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ehAjYcmHx
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJoipSoFmw
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4t46KFivRW
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17ZSjd6Rdl
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAd2H7A8BN
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWZt280qk8
He smiles at me.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznWgcLPL5G
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mdZN3VYMx
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryvIkVOIt9
"Sure, hon."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9hcdFP39L
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCGgkvyebY
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlOU5WLFGB
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHFXRAT5eQ
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrAxMJ7JX5
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUjXMsabSA
The very first ones:543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDAWkJvDcb
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSOfxZvjth
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkRFonEXUB
Hey! I miss you.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkocia2QWA
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfz1xfRXaK
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPU9ozHL3A
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwqMyypZVJ
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Q0TM6TK5Z
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibfxrScTIQ
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4r95DkriBe
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvh4eSfv76c
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iuWZS3did
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJJy7zrC7X
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefRVCLyx9b
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA05NCTEuhU
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOL8jpiZs8M
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZ4yPr16EM
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9yRYaF58z
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3ZohY8vbb
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DwdV6b8wa
Are you okay?543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHCWoeUuBA
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCYgQClNcw
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ebUYDXzmb
Did I do something to piss you off?543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yoYNOlc5p
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LZZXleGYu
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGHTk9WMSp
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooLYi0QC8r
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNUytq0xaH
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgX8CVSX5O
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuKRJcVIov
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFJ903H8ND
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSDWzXNApm
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZAJ2Yc5Ub
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOBcfXxZdN
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdMwfojMAx
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCJ5VXoAIY
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlk5prcoTN
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcdFlhauRN
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nU6hZQMRr
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqrX9nN9A2
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJCiak2GpB
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9NC3bNHls
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyP7gszJQD
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3DuXC5CGE
Two weeks before he came to see me. 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMowPES4h4E
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhmXAAGB30
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCS9p4JEBj6
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQ0vmUpW4D
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05u6azlEcs
543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKe9OCASNLU
"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxJdqrEyOK
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I wipe my face quickly.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJjvvzrIEe
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"It's okay. I'm fine."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIjFLXHjTs
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"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaSiFSGpAI
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"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiY5W54Zkfn
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***543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELDCzhXfr9
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I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAwVoGKuYr
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Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ShbBoJPHA
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I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOMcjq6Ige
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I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrC4Hls1IQ
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"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHn9CaD7SNJ
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I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkw5XdWD3Wf
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"You finally read my messages," he states.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEzeeMdf85
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"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH034b0WzRE
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I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJe6k5rMHoR
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If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAPC7P60S1
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He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjZGfbQVWL
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"When did you start having feelings for me?"543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHyHXShsN8
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He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3szCHsl7Mj
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"That night that we had dinner together, right here."543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgA8fYGeaT
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Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjfLex9w75
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He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVdhn125oE
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I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSb2yb6dNOz
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"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xVwgBOGTJ
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"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGZNX5W0EY
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So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1jgKOvIl7
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I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fk5w7E2ny
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If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqRguijRFJ
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I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKrKYyj8oW
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Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
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