Chapter nineteen : You love her, don't you?
Richard's POV:
"You love her, don't you?"
That one question made me feel thousands of feelings, but the feeling which I felt the most, and which was hurting me more than my other feelings, was I felt scared.
I felt my heart beating furiously against my chest, I felt my lips going dry and I felt thirsty all of a sudden, water, I need water, and of course I need to get the hell out of here.
Damien didn't see any of my expressions and he didn't feel any of my feelings because my back was to him.
Should I answer him?
Should I not?
What should I do?
Should I walk away?
Should I tell him the truth?
Of course not, I won't tell that asshole the truth, I don't trust him anymore.
All I wanna do is make Kristen happy, destroying every possible way of making her feel hurt, is the only way to make her feel happy.
I realized I have been daydreaming since Damien has asked me that damned question, I decided to not let him see through me and just be my casual old jerk self again.
" What makes you think I love a girl like her? She's nothing near what I have in my mind, for my dream girl" I chuckled and walked upstairs to the library, I had to distract myself.
I didn't stare at Damien as I answered him, because I was too afraid he might see right through me.
I'm pathetic, I am in love with a girl, she's in love with another guy, and that guy is just not in love with her.
What a mess!
Why can't life be simple?
Why can't she be in love with me too?
Why can't she return my love?
Why one sided love even exists?
Too many questions which are unanswerable.
I searched for the most distracting book in the library, of course philosophy is the best choice when you want to distract yourself, it makes you think.
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Kristen's POV:
I was removing my makeup, when Damien knocked the door and came inside.
"Hey" I smiled and greeted him, I am really happy we are back together, I thought he is mad at me forever.
"Hey" he greeted back and gave me a peck on my lips. I felt my cheeks get warm and I felt shy all of a sudden.
"so... ummm... what did Richard say?" I asked , Damien smiled sadly and stared at mae as if I was some piece of art, honeslty I didn't like that.
"He just threatened me"
"He threatened you?!"
"Yep"
"Why?!"
" He said he would kill me if I hurt you"
"Oh"
I frowned , why does he put his nose in my life everytime he has the chance? I am not a baby. I am grown up, I can take care of myself.
Damien chuckled at my expression, and he stared at the mirror, I gasped as I saw the huge mark on his right side of his neck.
" Oh.My.God. what's that Damien ? who did that to you?" I ran towards him and stared at the huge blue mark on his neck. I know it's not a hickey , trust me I have seen one.
I still remember Richard's hickey. Don't get me wrong , I am not spying on that asshole or anything like that, it's just that he was making out with that girl back when we were newly married.
So I know this is not a hickey, I mean Damien would never betray me, right?
He's just so sweet and kind, I brought him ice and tried to apply it gently on his bruise.
"Thank you" Damien whispered and smiled sadly at me. I smiled back .
"so what happened?" I asked " Who did that to you?"
"Uh..it's nothing serious, it was just a random thief , he was trying to steal my money"
"Oh, you should have been more careful"
"Yeah"
I smiled to myself, Damien has always been kind to beggars maybe he has been fooled, and one of the beggars might have been a thief.
My smile vanished when I remembered Richard's expression when he saw me and Damien kissing.
What was that about?
He looked ... weird. No, he looked sad and he was about to punch Damien in the face.
He looked dangerous, actually he looked like he might have been jealous. But jealous of who?
It doesn't make sense , I mean he was the one who made us date. He can't be jealous right? You get jealous when you like someone , does he like me? I mean not as a friend, but.. you know, as more than a friend, as a lover?
No way, I laughed at myself mentally, Richard will never fall for me, he doesn't like me that way.
Yep , I am positive. But then what about the kiss? I felt all of his anger, and love in that kiss, he wasn't letting me go when he kissed me, it was as if he was so desperate. Could his feelings and the way he kissed me have been all an act?
Wow, I am driving myself crazy by overthinking, Richard is never desperate for a kiss, he might have been playing with girls and kissing them, but it was because he has felt lonely.
I am sure it has been all an act, Richard doesn't like me more than a friend.
Yeah, that's it. But that thought made me feel lonely, sad and disappointed, suddenly I wanted him to like me, no, actually I wanted him to love me, I don't know why, but I felt disappointed.
I stared at Damien who was now fast asleep in my bed, and sighed. I shouldn't feel this way,I am not being fair to Damien.
I brushed my teeth and went to the other side of the bed, just when I was about to turn of the lamp, someone knocked on the door.
I sighed and went to open the door , guess one of the maids has forgot something.
I opened the door and was surprised when I saw Richard standing by the door, guess he hasn't been able to sleep well.
"Richard!"
I went out and closed the door behind me, didn't want to wake up Damien , he looked so tired.
"What are you doing-" I gasped when Richard turned around and stared at me, that look was enough to make me think. To make me think of all the things I have been thinking a few minutes ago.
Why does Richard stare at me like this? He stares at me as if I am the most beautiful damned creature on earth.
And his eyes said thousand unsaid words, could he be in love with me?
"I.. just came here.. to.. check on .. you" Richard said, his breath smelled of beer, and his tone was not normal, I felt the horrible feeling again.
Disappointment.
I felt disappointed again, Richard is just drunk. He doesn't know what he is doing when he is drunk.
" I'm fine! Don't worry about me" I said and bit my bottom lip, Richard noticed this and frowned.
"What's the matter?" He asked, I just shrugged, I couldn't speak, I didn't trust my voice, drunk or not, Richard is still Richard and he is way too smart.
Just when I was about to speak, Richard said goodbye and walked away.
What was that?
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Day(15)
Another ten days at Paris has passed, the most amazing surprise here was Damien, but it was a good surprise.
We laughed, talked, watched movies, walked all around Paris ,then we came back to the villa, and had more fun. I was laughing very loud and really enjoyed everything me and Damien did together.
I was super happy, Richard sometimes enjoyed our company too, but other times I either saw him reading a book, I think it was about philosophy or he was locking himself upstairs to read that same book, either way he was reading.
And it was bothering me, he acts weird lately I wonder why, he has dark circles around his eyes, I saw it clearly yesterday.
I am hundred percent sure, something is bothering him, I will go and ask him later.
We're friends, I will try to help him and soothe his pain.
All of a sudden Richard came downstairs, he was speaking with someone on his iPhone,he put on his jacket.
"Okay, I'll see you there Rémi" Richard said and hung up.
I told Damien I had to go with Richard to see his friend, since he was a great friend of mine too, at first Damien didn't agree but after I gave him my cute puppy face he sighed and gave up, he told me he had something to take care of too.
I hurried to follow Richard. Now this is my chance to know what is going through his head.
"Richard!" I called, Richard stopped and frowned.
"Yes?" He said, he was still frowning.
"I was wondering if you could take me with you? Umm.. to see Rémi?" I smiled and fluttered my lashes. Richard snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Fine, you don't have to behave like a kid" He said.
My smile dropped and I was thinking of a comeback, but unfortunately I didn't find anything to say.
What do you say to a guy who tells you not to behave like a kid? When he knows you're grown up and you're not a kid anymore.
Ugh.. This guy is just not understandable.
I was thinking of a comeback all the way to the place where Richard was taking me, we reached the place, yet I haven't found a comeback.
I sighed and gave up, Richard is unbeatable.
We were in a bar, a romantic music was playing and everyone was enjoying. I was hypnotized by the place, it was amazing, everything was so romantic, the music, the place, there were couples everywhere.
And they were all wearing nice dresses, why didn't Richard tell me to wear a nice dress?
"This place is amazing" I murmured as I sat down on a chair, Richard sat beside me and smiled at me when I said that.
"I knew you'll like it, This place is not where Rémi is gonna see us, but I brought you here since I wanted you to see it, I just texted him and told him to come here" Richard said and stared at the man who was playing the piano, he was so into the music, I smiled at Richard's expression and bit my lips.
Okay, this is the right time to ask my question.
"Richard?"
"Yeah?" He was still looking at the pianist, I didn';t want to ruin his mod, but it was now or never.
"What's wrong?" I asked. Richard's smile dropped and he stared at me" what do you mean?"
"I mean... you act weird lately"
"Weird?... how?"
" You are sad most of the time, you always lock youself up in the library, you always read books and you're nowhere to be found, and you spend most of the nights drinking, is something wrong?"
Richard smiled sadly at me, and shook his head without hesitation" I just didn't want to ruin your time with Damien" He said quietly. Then he stared at the pianist again, but this time he was frowning.
"I am really worried about you" I bit my lips when I said those words, but it was too late I have said them, and I don't regret it, it's the simple truth. I am really worried about him.
Richard stared at me, and smiled sweetly, he was smiling that smile which could melt any girl, he has that effect on girls. But not on me I am taken.
"Don't worry about me, I am fine Kris" he said , I tried to argue, but he cut me off by making a joke about my expression earlier when he told me I shouldn't behave like a kid.
We smiled and laughed for another twenty minutes, Rémi called Richard and told him he will be late, and that he will be here in fifteen minutes.
Another fifteen minutes with Richard here makes me feel giddy all of a sudden. I enjoy being with my best friend more than I enjoy being with any guy friend of mine.
Richard was telling me about his girlfriends when suddenly his expression changed as if he has seen a ghost.
" Let's go Kris" He grabbed my hand and forced me to stand up.
"Wait.. ouch.. you're hurting me.. " I pulled away from him and stared at my surroundings, But I couldn't find anything bad.
"What's wrong Richard? Why do you wanna go? Rémi hasn't arrived yet" I said and rubbed where he has held my wrist, god he is strong.
Richard grabbed my hand by force this time and made me face him" let's go" He said stubbornly, but I freed myself from his strong grip, and an idea came to me.
" I saw what you saw" I whispered, Richard's eyes widened and he stared at somewhere behind my back, so that's where the big problem is, huh?
I turned around and tried to find what he was staring at, my eyes wandered, but all I saw was some girls giggling at god knows what, a couple making out they were sucking each other's face as if their life depended on it, and there was this guy who winked at me.
Okay, all these were normal, but, wait- the couple, the guy looks familiar, I stared at them again, I felt Richard's arm around my waist, but I freed myself again, No, this can't be happening right?
My emotions were all messed up, I knew I felt betrayed, that's the only recognizable emotion at that moment.
What else? I don't know. I touched my cheeks and under my eyes, but I couldn't feel wetness, nope there were no tears. My tears were frozen.
What would you do when the guy you love the most cheats on you? Cry? Pull the girl's hair?
No, I need to calm down, and I need to think and concentrate, I knew Richard was speaking, he was hugging me from behind, and he was whispering, I smiled to myself, even tho I couldn't hear him, because my mind was too busy taking in what I have just seen, I knew he is trying to make me feel better.
I felt a very sharp pain in the left side of my chest, no it was not from emotional hurt, it was actually hurting, an actual physical pain.
I breathed in and out for a few moments, and walked towards the couple.
They were still making out, I cleared my throat, and felt very... what's the word? Bitchy? No that's not like me. Slutty ? no that's same as bitchy I guess? Rude? Yep I felt rude. I wanted to be rude and I wanted to hurt Damien just how he has hurt me.
"What a scene, you guys must really love each other, that guy must really be loyal to that girl, right Richard?"
Richard was of course behind me, he was holding my hand, and I let him. He sighed at my comment. But said nothing.
Damien froze as he heard my voice and he stopped kissing that girl.
"Oh no, Kristen?" He whispered and swallowed, he looked panicked. Good for you Damien, you SHOULD be panicked.
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