The week stretched out. It was a long week and Kat couldn't be happier for her first weekend at home.
"Hurry up, Kat! I want to get to the party!" Scott growled.
Her eyes lifted in the mirror seeing Scott's reflection in her doorway behind her, scowling. He had absolutely no patience. He was so pushy, he had no clue what it takes for a girl to put herself together.
"How much longer are you going to spend getting ready?" he pointedly questioned. "The party will be over by the time you're done with your stupid hair."
"Scott, how did you get to be so annoying?" Kat asked flatly. "I forgot. You were born that way." Going out tonight was going to be great, but it would be better with anyone other than Scott.
Steve and Sean had introduced Scott to the jocks last year. The group she wanted to hang around. She would have rather had Sean with her too. But Sean eased out of his relationship with the jocks and back in with the neighborhood kids. It wasn't difficult for him, he was pretty friendly with everyone.
Steve fell into his old place of staying home to wait up for them. His face looked as miserable as it sounded. But she blew it off. She had been home for three days and not apologized, why should she feel sorry for him.
Without an answer, Scott stomped away down the hall.
Kat slid several blue and white bracelets up her arms and gave her hair one final pass of hairspray, before grabbing her purse and heading down to the living room. This was the first party that she had been invited to, since coming back home. She had only been home for a week now, but already Kat fell into the same popular crowd as her brothers.
"Are you guys ready to go?" Sean asked, as Kat came into the living room.
"I've been ready to go, I've been waiting for her." Scott threw out his arm and muttered from the couch.
"God, how does Kelly put up with you?" Kat questioned. Dave and Steve watched the bickering match.
"Come on you two." Steve said, he clapped his hands together and rose from the recliner. "Before you guys leave, here are some ground rules. You two keep an eye on each other. Absolutely no drinking. I don't care what the other kids are doing. And if the cops come get the hell out of there. Okay?"
Kat nodded, pretending to listen. In truth, she didn't care. She was going to do what she wanted. Why not, she was on her own now. The only girl, no mom, and a brother who left her rot for three months in some foreign home.
Sean pulled up to the curb of a grand house: ornate front door, two garage doors and a lawn that was perfectly manicured. Scott and Kat hopped out and trekked along the brick walkway to the two brick house with crisp white siding. She would give anything to spend her teenage years in a house like this and the kids that lived here probably didn't even appreciate it.
As Kat strolled up the walkway this looked like everything she had hoped high school would be. A party with rich popular boys, jocks with muscles. A vast difference from the burnout parties in Garden City.
Kat and Scott stepped through the entryway and immediately split up. Kat as soon as they stepped into the entryway. Scott wrapped his arms around Kelly who stood with a small group in the living room. Kat made an immediate beeline for the kitchen.
Kat's purposeful stride slowed as she entered the kitchen. It was packed with noisy kids, jabbering and jostling one another about. Kat tensed. The girls wore the latest outfits; vivid colors with matching earrings and bracelets, hair teased to perfection. The boys perfectly placed hair, confident and rich.
She began to second guess her acceptance in this group. Less than mile away, but a world away from the Garden City projects. Still, knowing this is among the group she longed to be a part. Kat ambled up to take her place in the line of kids waiting for beer.
She clutched her arm tightly to her side. She slid her hand under the sleeve and ran the fingertips of her opposite hand up and down her scar. The scar magnified her vulnerability
She could feel a pair of eyes on her. She glanced to her left and saw, Ron. It was a boy from her history class and he was smiling and openly staring at her. He took a few steps close. She could already feel herself recoiling. She was still unsure about him.
He was good looking; cropped brown hair, well dressed and confident, but maybe a little too confident. He was obviously popular and had tons of friends. But they were a rowdy and rude, and forever giving their teacher a hard time.
"Hey Kat, right?" he asked. He wrapped his fingers around her arm, "You don't have to stand here waiting, I'll get you a drink."
"That's okay," Kat said hurriedly. She wanted to jerk her arm away, but didn't want to embarrass herself by looking insecure around boys. "I don't mind waiting."
Ron waved a hand dismissively.
"Don't worry about it, I got you." he said confidently and placed his fingers on his chest.
"Come on Carson, move it! Can't you see this pretty girl is waiting?" Ron shouted to the boy ahead of her. He turned to Kat and instructed. "Stay here. I'll be right back." And winked.
He pushed his way through the crowd to the keg. The boy holding the nozzle passed it to Ron. A moment later Ron returned with a red solo cup filled with beer. He smiled at her as if just gave her the world and she should be impressed. She was slightly disgusted, but curious.
"Pretty girls don't wait around here. Not while I'm around. I got you covered. " He handed it to Kat, and she took it with shaking hands. He was more overbearing than she cared.
"Thank you." She replied.
"We have History class together."
"Yes, I know." Kat said flatly. How could anyone not notice him and his friends. They were so loud they couldn't be missed.
"Ah, so you noticed me huh? So, your last name is Stafford, right? Are you related to Scott?"
"Unfortunately, yes." Kat answered begrudgingly.
"So, your brothers are Sean and Steve too?" Ron grinned and looked her up and down, seeming to study her for a moment. Kat felt herself stiffen uncomfortably under his obvious scrutiny.
"Yes."
She didn't want anyone to use her for her brother's popularity. Right now, she wanted nothing to do with relating them to her. Steve abandoning her and for so long was inexcusable. Between a scar and the embarrassing tale of her dysfunctional life. Talking about the subject of her family was not a topic of conversation she wanted to approach this evening.
"You play sports right?" Kat asked, trying a distraction. It did the trick. Ron's face lit up and he began regaling her with tales of all his latest heroic, athletic feats. She took a deep breath and listened patiently. He barely asked her a question about herself.
Kat smiled and sipped her beer, and before she knew it, she was no longer feeling quite so annoyed by Ron's stories. Her head was starting to feel light and she relaxed. She even amicably followed Ron, when he suggested they move into the livingroom to continue chatting.
Kat finished her first beer, and Ron quickly provided her with a second.
As she drank, she nodded and uttered the appropriate "wow" and "awesome", here and there. Ron didn't need very much encouragement. He sure did seem to enjoy talking about himself. And Kat was even starting to realize she didn't mind. At least she was feeling relaxed now.
She even began to find him appealing. His stylish short cut brown hair, his confidence, girls and his apparent lead over the others in his group she found intriguing.
Kat caught a glimpse of Scott with his arm around Kelly. Scott slit his eyes at her as he walked by. She could feel he was going to rat on her for drinking. She could feel it in her bones. A total tattletale. He told Sean everything, who in turn told Steve. Going out with him trailing along was not going to be fun or easy this year.
Ron paused in the conversation and Kat watched his face, as something excitable and calculating skirted across his expression. He put an arm on the back of the couch, resting it just behind Kat's neck, and then he leaned forward, coming in for a kiss.
Kat panicked and jerked away from him, spilling some of her beer on herself in the process.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" she said, leaping to her feet and taking several shaky steps backwards.
Ron watched her with surprise and confusion in his face.
"Hey, It's ok. It's just a little spill. Don't worry about it." He brushed his hand down shirt sweeping off the excess liquid. "I'll be back, I'm gonna get dried off." Ron exited the living room to a small hallway.
Kat eyes darted around the room hoping no one noticed. She had hadn't had the experience of boys that she thought she professed to Dee. In fact she hadn't even kissed a boy "officially".
Kat had never felt so embarrassed, overwhelmed, alone all at once. She had no one there she knew well enough to hang around at the party. Worst, part of it all was that went she went home tonight, none of her brothers seemed to care what she was going through. None of them cared at all.
The grand house was thumping with music. Kat stood in a corner, listening to the nearly drowned out joking and talking of Ron and his friends. She was looking down at the red plastic cup she held. As Kat pursed her lips cup to take a gulp, when her eyes lifted they locked onto Steve.
She nearly dropped her cup in surprise. He snatched the cup out her hands, bringing it to his nose to inspect the contents. His frown deepened. She squirmed, now he knew for sure, it was beer.
Kat stared at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. Her hand now gripping the air. He leveled his eyes at her and firmly pointed as he scolded her.
"Let's go," Steve ordered. "You're leaving now!"
She felt everyone's eyes on her as she followed behind Steve. He peeked in the kitchen and caught a glimpse of Scott through doorway. He was filling a cup at the sink in the kitchen.
"Scott!" Steve called out.
Scott set his cup on the counter. His face showed no element of surprise. He had to have known Steve was coming.
"Come on." Steve shouted.
Steve's feet pounded against the hardwood floors, down the front steps, and across the plush lawn outside.
"You told you brat!"Kat accused Scott as the three headed for Steve's car.
"I'm not getting in trouble for you drinking." Scott refuted.
The two followed nervously behind Steve.
Steve reached for the door handle, climbed in, and slammed the door shut. Kat and Scott took their seats in the car. Steve sped off, seething, and now ready to confront the two young teenagers.
Halfway down the dark tree lined road, Steve exploded pointing at Kat aggressively.
"Just what the hell do you think you were doing!" he shouted. "When I say 'no drinking' I mean it!"
Kat stared coolly back at him. Her eyes flashed and her lips were pulled tightly together.
The car fell to a deafening silence. Kat folded her arms defiantly and stared at the intermittent streetlights. How did he have the nerve to be angry at her? She was mad at him! He left completely alone in the social system for three months. That far outweighed the 'possibility of getting in trouble' by drinking.
"You know what the hell happened the last time you drank at a party! You're both lucky I even let you go out!" Steve continued. He gritted his teeth then pounded his fist on the dashboard.
"Did you even stop to think about what might happen if the cops showed up again? You want to go back to a foster home? Is that it? Because you know if you go back into a foster home, it could be a really long time before you come back out again. If you even get to come home! I could lose permanent custody of both of you!" Steve shouted angrily.
Steve pulled into their concrete driveway riddled with cracks. With folded arms, Kat darted out the car for the front door, with Scott following at her heels. When Kat felt strong fingers wrap her arm and bring her to a halt. Scott skirted by her, slipping into the house.
"What do you care anyway?" Kat shouted, lunging forward on one front, jabbing her finger in Steve's direction. He towered over her by a foot. He gave her a stern look.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Steve asked. Obviously floored by her comment. "Of course I care! Do you know how hard I had to work to get you guys back?"
"You left me there for three months!" Kat cried. Her face burned. She held up three fingers to ensure he understood not one month, but three. She had so much pended up anger and finally got to unleash it.
"Kat, I had to wait for the hearing," Steve explained. "It was a long process. There wasn't anything I could do. Believe me! I wanted the two of you back home!" His face turned a bright red.
Not only did he leave her, but he didn't even talk to her about it, completely ignoring her. A grueling battle raged inside, between her love for her big brother and her anger over his betrayal.
Kat crossed her arms in front of her chest and narrowed her eyes.
"I don't believe you, Steve! I wouldn't have been there for three whole months, if you really cared about me. You could have found some way to get us out if you really wanted to. That's what Dad would have done."
The moment the words fell from his lips Kat knew she had gone too far.
Steve straightened up and went silent. The color drained from Steve's face. His eyes fell soft, void of anger. She saw his anger turn to something else. Hurt. She had hurt him.
He turned away from her walked to his car. He slid into his car seat and drove off, leaving the them behind.
Kat walked into the house. Sean, Dave, and Scott were scattered around the living room.
"What the hell Kat. Christ, he left college to be a fucking janitor for Boeing just to get you home." Scott scolded.
"Scott stop." Sean defused, throwing out his hand to stop the argument before it escalated. "Look, Kat you've got to be easier on him," Sean insisted. "He really does care about you. He did everything that he could to bring you and Scott home. He kept calling Mom. He got her to give him custody just to get you two home quicker. He gave up everything for you two."
"I didn't know." Kat murmured. She felt a heaviness settle into her bones. She'd been harboring so much anger and resentment towards Steve. Sean was right, Steve didn't deserve it. Down deep she knew it was her mom's fault. Even Sean was more to blame, he was the one who had the parties. Steve was as much a victim as she was.
"Yeah, he was in pretty rough shape. It really wore on him. He drank all the time. He was pretty tore up about you two being gone." Dave interjected.
Sean added, "You really need to apologize to him, Kat," he said. "After everything that he went through to bring you two home, after everything he sacrificed, you can't blame on him for anything"
"Alright." she whispered with embarrassment. Kat nodded. She felt a hollowness in her chest as she rewound her spiteful words. She had made such a huge mistake. She was really mean to him and he didn't deserve it. Any of it. She would apologize as soon as he came home.
"It's ok, just get him when he comes in the door." Sean gave her a quick hug, then dropped on the sofa beside Dave.
With the heavy burden of misunderstanding weighing on her, Kat prepared for bed. She threw on a pair of soft pink cotton pajamas and sat patiently on her bed. She leafed through a few teen magazines waiting for Steve.
She heard the front door slam, an indistinct conversation downstairs, then the thundering footsteps ascending the staircase and heard a settling in the next room, knowing it had to be Steve. Now for the confrontation she wasn't ready for.
She hovered at the entrance of Steve's room, waiting for her ill-fated conversation, rubbing her arm incessantly. A forever reminder of the battles she endured at the foster home. A painful trophy that she will never be able to hide.
Her stomach churned at apologizing and the thought explaining her deepest feelings to Steve. What if he was mad at her for her outburst. Accusing him of doing the opposite of their dad was probably the meanest thing anyone could say to him. He prided himself on following their father's ideals. Steve actually was a mirror image of him, in almost every way.
Kat stepped in with her head facing the ground. She softly knocked and lifted her eyes to him.
"It's open," Steve called. Steve stood with his back to her, sliding his watch off his wrist. He looked at her through the reflection of his dresser mirror.
"Hey." she said tensely and clasped her hands tightly together.
"It's getting late, don't you think you should be getting to bed?" Steve said flatly. He placed his silver watch in a box with his initials on it. He didn't sound thrilled to see her, and she couldn't blame him.
"I...I wanted to talk to you for a minute." Kat faltered. She figured she at the very least she owed him an apology. Hopefully he wouldn't be too mad. Without him, they would be a broken family. He was the glue that held them together. She owed him a lot. He sat on the edge of his bed.
"Sure," Steve said halfheartedly. "Come on sit down."
He looked over his shoulder and patted the space on the bed beside him. He looked as if he was eager to have a conversation. There was never tension between them, how did their lives go so wrong.
Kat sat down beside him, twisting her hands together anxiously in her lap. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead of producing words, she began to sob uncontrollably. The sudden burst of emotion was just as surprising to Kat as it was to Steve, and she placed her wet face into the palms of her hands, trying to gain control of herself.
"Kat! What is it? What's going on?" Steve asked in alarm. "Why are crying, Kat?" He paused for a moment waiting for her to collect herself, "Hey, come on Kat, talk to me." He took her by the shoulders looking into her face.
Kat choked through her thick sobs, nodding her head and sniffling. God she was a blubbering idiot.
"I just..I w-w-wanted to tell you I'm s-sorry." she stammered. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's just...It's just..."
She trailed off, sniffling and choking back her tears.
"What?" Steve asked gently.
"I hated being in that house, Steve," Kat cried. "I was so scared all the time! The boys there were so mean! I thought I was never coming home! I thought you left me."
She watched Steve's head turn away, as if his stomach churned. She knew her words cut through his strong, tough exterior. He had a big heart. He was there for her when their father died. Wiping her tears his little sister's tears away.
He was the one who was always there to protect their siblings and keep them safe. But he had dropped the ball and his clenched eyes looked like he felt he had let them down.
"Kat," Steve said. "You know that I would never leave you, right?" He chocked holding back his tears.
"But you did leave me," Kat pressed. "You left me there for three months!" She pointed out.
Steve wrapped his large arms around Kat, pulling her in close. She took comfort in her big brothers strong arms. He was as close to a parent as she would get right now.
"Kat, I'm really sorry. I swear I did everything that I could. But I promise you, I will never leave you again."
Kat pulled back, wiping the tears from her eyes. She nodded, averting her eyes. Steve studied her expression.
"Hey, I promise." He obviously sensed her disbelief. He placed a finger under her chin, and pulled her gaze back over to him. "Ok?" She took a long pause then a smile grew. Honestly, she knew in her heart he would always try keep them safe. She was lucky to have him. She felt a calm wash over her.
"Ok."
He patted her back. She caught a whiff of his breath with the smell the alcohol and cigarettes. It compounded her guilt knowing he had actually gone out to drink, just because of her.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you." Kat said. It sounded like he understood and he would never leave them again.
"That's okay," Steve reassured her. "You've had a really tough past few months, we all did. But I promise that I am never going to leave you again. You're home now and you're safe. Alright?"
Steve stood and Kat followed his lead, feeling he was satisfied with the conversation. They moved passed the anger and guilt. It was all out, hopefully they could get their relationship back to where it was before she had gone.
"Hey Kat," Steve said. "No more drinking, or doing anything else that could land you back in foster care. Ok? When they see it's your second time in the system, you may not come back. And I don't want to lose you."
Kat nodded. He kissed her forehead She turned to the door. Steve rested his hand on her back and walked her too her room.
"I won't do it again." she said.
"Good. I love you alright? Now go get some rest, ok?"
"I love you too. Goodnight." He let her go and started his way back to his room.
She turned as she got to the door and looking over her shoulder.
"You know, Steve. Scott seemed to like it where he was, do you think we can send him back?" She joked, hoping to bring some levity to the moment and renew their relationship.
He stopped, looked over his shoulder back to her and puckered his lips, and rolled his eyes up to see her.
"No. smartass."
"Just checking. But you can always reconsider your answer." She grinned. Almost feeling foolish for holding in this conversation for so long. She was an emotional wreck for no reason. They could have been over this a week ago.
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