A Plan
Meadow whistles at me, almost deafening me with the strength she can emit with just two fingers in her mouth and motions with her hand in a circling manner to get me to turn around. She’s bossy but there is something likeable about her and I am fast warming to her pushy personality.
She has gone to town on me in a short space of time. My hair sleek, combed until it’s smooth and pulled up into a high ponytail that she said made my waves come together to an almost ringlet at the back. She has blushed, pinched, dabbed and painted my face with various products and squeezed me into clothes she swears are my size, but the restrictions I feel makes me doubt it. My bust is surprisingly close in size to what she wears, so no doubt she heavily downsizes for extra oopmph in her breast department.
Skin tight soft denim jeans under a fitted white tank, with a low cut V. I am all cleavage I never knew I had , a booty I feel is way out on show from sculpted pants and I’m pulling on the soft mauve velvet hoody she told me to leave open. My feet in crisp white sneakers because we are going for the ‘casual and didn’t try too hard’ look, and she has thrown some silver hoops in my ears, with a simple dainty necklace holding a tiny green crystal she said was the colour of my eyes around my neck.
Honesty, I spent my life dressing in shapeless or loose clothing to feel comfortable and not to draw attention, and now I feel like I have way too much on show and a bit too dressed up for a wolf pack meeting in their communal. I know Colton has seen me naked after turning, but this feels more exposed somehow. Maybe because I rarely wear makeup and what she has done feels strange on my skin, my lids heavier with the lashings of a mascara.
Everything is perked and propped up, held in tight fabrics that enhance the curves and I just wish I could see it for myself to tell how bad or good it is. For all I know I look like a clown. But no, I only busted every damn mirror in this mansion some hours ago and can only go by Meadows reaction, which seems to be positive.
“I would bang you, Chica.” She winks, throwing me a kiss and blows it my way dramatically, clicking her fingers and her tongue on the roof of her mouth in unison to make an approval noise.
“Thanks, I guess.” I respond, not sure if that’s the appropriate thing to say, but she laughs airily.
“I like you, gurl. You are funny, without trying to be. You are like this little naïve awkward girl but with a heart of a vixen, waiting to come into her own. Don’t ever change that.” She eyes me over once more, nodding to herself with obvious pride at what she has created, and it warms me to my stomach. It feels weird to have someone genuinely look at me with a hint of pride and acceptance like this. I mean, Colton doesn’t count when he did it earlier, he has to feel that way about me as it’s ordained by the fates to be so.
“I will try not to.” I smooth my hands down the soft fabric smothering my legs and do one final check from my own viewpoint. Literally all I can see is boobs.
“You sure I look okay and not too obvious?” doubt is already swarming me, denting the little bit of confidence she has been building up in the last half hour and Meadow shakes her head, loosening those beach curls she has going on as she puts in some oversized gold hoops in her own ears.
“Please…..I know what I’m doing and I ain’t no fool when it comes to teasing the men. We went for sexy casual, just work it. Trust me on this. One eyeful of that bootylicious and Colton gonna be dry humping your ass into next week like a wolf in heat.” She extends a hand, that mischievous glint on those pale blue sultry eyes, straightening her own fitted white blouse down over those mega breasts of hers with her free hand and I hop forward to catch her fingers in mine. Eager to go before I lose all my nerve and wipe this off.
We have only been up here for around twenty-five minutes maximum, but it feels like hours have passed and I am so much more relaxed with her even if I am not relaxed with how I am kitted out. I guess having her right in my face with various implements she could have gouged my eyes out with, built some sort of trust. I can’t explain and can only go by memory of what being part of a pack was to compare. This feels a lot like Meadow is bringing me to her as her pack sister, initiating a bond. It makes me choke up a little, suddenly so grateful that she is Colton’s second and has her own kind of bond with him which has pushed her to invest in me.
“Let’s go find your man and make Carmen’s face implode.” Meadow sounds like she is a little too invested in doing that, her accent a tad heavier when she’s smirking, her lips curling like the cat that got the cream. That smug tone and I can’t deny, she has lifted my mood completely in terms of that ‘skanky puta’ which I now know means ‘dirty slut’. Eloquent. I guess having someone on your side who is not ordained by the fates to be so, makes a difference.
It’s no longer just me and Colton.
Meadow leads the way and with a combination of moving fast and giggling at nothing in particular as we play, push and shove each other around corners and doors, downstairs back to where we started, we seem to get there in record time. I barely took in my surroundings.
Who knew a beta wolf could be so fun to hang out with?
The door to the study is shut but I know before following her in that Colton is not here yet. I can’t feel him anywhere near this room, nor any fresh scent and swallow down hard as I step in, right behind her, almost hidden in her shadow.
The rest of them are in various states of lounging, uninterested by our return and definitely did not miss our presence. Someone is playing music in the corner on a cell phone or a small device I can’t see, and it seems they have all had a couple, or a few, drinks in our absence. The smell of booze wafting our way and tinting the air with that chemical whiff.
I can’t miss Carmen sitting alone at the desk, sulk face fully initiated. She’s flicking through a large book, something heavy with aging pages and glances up hatefully as I make eye contact. She doesn’t say anything and just goes back to what she is reading and pretending we didn’t just walk in.
“I have to admit, she scrubs up well and I guess I can see why Cole couldn’t keep his hands off her….”
One of the twin’s remark as Meadow gets out of my way, exposing me fully to the room.
There’s a cough cough, as Carmen reminds them of her presence, how much she didn’t like that comment and Demi shuts up. Romi pushes his brother in the shoulder playfully, shaking his head at him and eyes me up too. I can tell by the way he flickers over me that he agrees.
“Okay, so like this, maybe I can see the potential. I mean…. Ouch” He makes a motion with his hands as though he touched something hot and then dramatically blows his fingers and makes a sizzling noise with his mouth. Despite myself and the earlier hostility with these two, I smile slightly, screwing up my nose in shyness at being scrutinised.
“See Chica, they like. My boys, they know sexy when they see it. I think it’s a massive improvement to wearing Cole’s cast offs.” Meadow walks around me , her own final appraisal as though she didn’t spend minutes upstairs admiring her handy work and then sashays away again grinning to herself. She’s congratulating herself on her awesome work.
“Who likes what?” Colton seems to appear out of thin air while I was too distracted to pick up on him, and I spin in both surprise and instant nervousness; realising I didn’t get any time to prepare myself for him walking in. I’m just standing here halfway into the room like some awkward kid whose been asked to model the ugly jumper her grandmother knitted for Christmas.
Our eyes lock as he hits me with that megawatt cute boy smile, a hint of dimples and a reminder how gorgeous Colton is when he relaxes and just let’s his charms shine. That’s before breaking contact to let his gaze slide down my outfit and back again. I can tell by the raised brow expression he likes what he sees, and that smile turns into a full on dimples enhanced swoon worthy one with an accompanying twinkle in his eye that melts me to my core. It does weird things to my insides and my butterflies rise up and send my skin alight with a smoldering fire.
Well, I’ll be damned. I thought naked was good.
His mental message has me blush insanely, heat consuming my face, his voice dripping with heightened lust but it’s short lived when I catch him side glancing Carmen and he seems to instantly put his tongue away. Pulling back his reaction and yanking on that serious persona once more. It’s like he just got scolded and I wonder if she mind linked him and gave him what for. In her head they are still ‘trying to work things out’ even if I know otherwise.
“My father gave me a schedule of where all the packs, teams and such are to report at dawn. We meet in the mess at first light. Our subs are convening on the west river, the old basketball court and we shall be in charge of continuing training with the pack members already learning combat….and of course, Alora.”
Straight into leader mode, pushing that spark between us aside as responsibility kicks in. I don’t know who gasps louder out of literally everyone in the room. Even I take that last word or two in with a little inhale of ‘what?’
“She is training with us? Has she ever done any sort of hand to hand or weapons training in her life? We might kill her by mistake!” It’s the previous silent member that I never got a good look at and he steps forward now. Appearing from behind the bar area and I flinch when I catch sight of his face.
He’s older than Colton for sure, a little greying of his hair at the temples and he has one completely white eyeball that suggests he’s partially blind. The other so dark brown in comparison that you can’t help but react when you see it. A raggedy awful looking scar running from cheek to forehead and passing right through, so deep you can tell he was wounded pretty badly whenever this happened and it’s literally the first thing you see when you look at him.
I try not to stare but it is so very rare to see a wolf with any kind of scars. We self heal , miraculously and instantly most of the time and only one kind of wound will ever leave a mark like that on a healthy wolf.
Silver dipped in wolfsbane. I heard they used it against our kind in the wars with some success, although it killed most.
If it doesn’t kill you, then it leaves you forever marked as he is, by creating an infection inside of you and poisoning the site around it. It eats into your body and flesh and makes you so very sick. I don’t recall ever seeing him, but I guess with damage like that he wouldn’t want to be seen outside much.
Wolves are very high ego and any kind of failure in battle makes them act weird and live in shame. We are all about that. I mean it’s literally affected my entire existence.
“Where else would she train? She’s safer with me and I’m safer being the one to teach her to fight. This thing is real, and no one has more experience than the combat teams, of which we are one. “ Colton has an edge to his tone; his gaze flickers my way and I catch Carmen out of the corner of my eye throwing him a full on pathetic and woeful look. Aiming to manipulate him with what I assume used to be a tried and tested method when he was with her. Tears come out to play and I just try and ignore her. Colton’s jaw muscle twitches and he looks away from her, back at his pack, somewhat unimpressed. A frown creasing his forehead and his eyes cloud over a little.
“Radar, I think it’s the best plan and we as a unit can bring her up to speed and teach her how to sync with us….to become one fluid machine with an extra set of teeth. Our pack has lost numbers with Karly and Ebony both being with pup and out of action.” Meadow throws me an encouraging warm smile, bringing my attention to the fact there is more to this sub pack, bringing femme numbers to almost match the males, growling at her mate when he opens his mouth to say something and he shuts it just as quickly.
I blink back at the scarred wolf and click, his name must be Radar. Weird for a name and I assume it’s a nickname and something to do with whatever gift he has. I do know some wolves possess ability to feel things coming from afar and have insight to certain things in the way a real radar pulse would. I wonder if it’s what he can do, although maybe not if the vampire attack was unforeseen.
“And if she is useless and slows us down…what then?” Carmen butts in, abandoning her pitiful act bitchily because he didn’t bite and instead pushes between us to get in the middle of the conversation. Putting herself between Colton and I and nudges closer to him in a bid to mark her territory. Colton steps sideways away from her and turns and walks to the bar, pulling out a bottle of water from a concealed fridge and takes a slow drink without reacting to her in any way.
“Why would she be? We are good teachers, we have taught many of our kind and started them on in their training, besides; didn’t you see the chaos she wreaked in the house or were you too busy being blinded by your own seething hatred?” Meadow doesn’t hold back, her words dripping with venom, coming at her from just across the room where she had been standing back to admire her handywork and Colton sighs loudly. He turns , perches his butt against the edge of the bar and it’s only now I notice the dark circles under his eyes or the unusually pale pallor of exhaustion.
”Can you two stop, for just…..an hour… I swear this shit gives me a headache.” He sounds lackluster too and I wonder what exactly went down with his meeting with his father. His usual shine is missing.
“She started it!” Carmen blurts out, like a juvenile tattle telling and it just makes me frown at her. Mature she is not. She is following Colton once more across the room as he pushes off and heads for a couch, but he sees her coming and crosses away to perch on the arm of the opposite one where the twins are sprawled out with cans of beer. She looks annoyed instantly at the fact she can’t sit anywhere near him and it just irritates me endlessly that she is chasing him around. It’s obvious to all of us he wans her to leave him alone.
“SHE has a name, and no….I think your skanky Puta booty always starts shit. When are you going to stop trailing his ass and sit down?” Meadow lets out a frustrated arghh noise, mirroring my sentiments exactly, walks over and yanks Carmen by the arm harshly, pushing her into a nearby chair aggressively and throws a commanding pointer finger in her face.
“Now sit!! … Like a good little puppy.”
Carmen’s face turns puce with outrage, her eyes darting wildly to Colton to overrule his second in command and chastise her for talking to her that way, manhandling her, but Colton just inhales again, sighing heavily and goes back to his previous position, sipping on his bottle of water. Carmen really does look like she may self-implode and make Meadows and my day after all.
Meadow slinks over to Cesar on one of the armchairs and crawls onto his lap, curling herself around him and nestling her butt against his crotch. I can’t help but watch the way he opens up and accepts her invasion, wrapping her in his arms willingly, and whispers something in her ear before she smiles at him sexily. So fluid, no refusal and no insecurity in her that he might not want her sat on him.
It’s obvious they are completely bonded in all ways and although I haven’t seen her mark, I can tell it’s done. They have that connection oozing from both of them, that says their union is finalised and they can communicate on a deeper level than what we have so far. A mark can be wherever your mate decides to put it, although most males like to have it on show and put it on a femme’s throat. They are known for territorial possessiveness.
I find myself aching for that right now, wondering where Colton would choose to place his and have to tear my eyes away from him before Carmen kicks off again. My heart beating a little too fast and my soul yearning stronger than before. I miss his touch already.
I realise I have zoned out, blinking back to reality and they are talking about zones and patrols and something to do with the new containment areas. I try to listen in as Colton explains that they are setting up homes in the valley to try and accommodate the families from other parts of the mountain tomorrow. That tents and temporary buildings will need to be erected and that the local bar and school on this side will be converted, along with the gym and the community hall. They have caravans and mobile homes coming out of storage for some but a lot of the people they want to move closer are refusing to leave their homes and unite on this side.
“You can’t force people to shift everything and up and leave to move a few miles. I get the why but these people, they don’t want to leave their homes for a tent in the fields, Cole.” It’s Jesus and I watch as they all lean forward, seriousness kicking in as they talk this out and freely throw in opinions. Everyone except me and of course Carmen, who is now focused on the conversation at hand and silently listening on the outskirts of the huddle.
“We don’t know when another attack will come and it’s easier to keep them safe if we have them here.” Colton shrugs seemingly repeating what he has been told but a look flashing across his face tells me he doesn’t agree. I almost will him to stop mimicking his father’s words and just be honest with what he thinks we should be doing.
“Easier to control you mean? We all know your father has been angling for supreme reign for years and this sounds a lot like he’s trying to force the packs into one place, so they are easier to police.” Matteo verbalises what I guess I had been thinking and feeling, surprising me that I am not the only one. Colton throws a dangerous look at Matteo, a growl in the undercurrent as he jumps to defensive over an insult aimed his father’s way, but Matteo doesn’t back down.
“You know it Cole….. you know how he is. Tell me it’s better to coral people together when they have a device that can disable us all within one space.” Matteo talks sense and I agree. Bringing the people together means we are a sitting target if they use the same device. At least spread out we have a chance of escaping the effects and fighting back. They can’t attack us all in one go with those things surely.
I catch Colton glancing my way, something flickering across his eyes as he thinks and then he turns back to Matteo. I miss the fleeting meaning in his look, not sure what it was meant to mean.
“Okay, maybe. I mean we always knew he would try and maneuver some sort of union around the mountain, I just didn’t think he would physically expect them to move here. The device, we don’t know enough to be able to second guess what it would do to us all in the valley. The range was limited in what we brought back.” Colton is stiff, uneasy and I can tell he doesn’t like his pack questioning orders from above. He truly is hooked by the nose when it comes to his father and I need to figure out how to get in there and remove the darn thing. Maybe I wasn’t paired with Colton so he could save me from my life….maybe I am meant to save him from his. The fates work in mysterious ways.
“You can’t keep tabs and instill fear into people if they are not close enough to feel your wrath.” Radar butts in again, and it’s not hard to see that when it comes to Juan Santo, Radar isn’t completely loyal to his alpha. There is a hint of malice in that tone, definite sarcasm in what he said, and I glance to Colton to see if he reacts in any kind of way.
In fact, this whole conversation isn’t all that friendly where Juan is concerned, and Colton isn’t biting back in the way I expect. Outside if anyone dared to offend his father, he would rip them a new one, so I am a little surprised to find he lets them speak freely. I guess he respects them enough to let them be honest with their opinion and nothing said is ever repeated outside of their circle of trust. I feel envious for a moment, a longing of belonging I used to know well eating at me and it pushes me to go sit in the corner on a stool by the bar. Listening but not part of this as it’s not my place and they are not my pack.
“Whatever the reason… he wants us out tomorrow afternoon driving to the other villages and changing minds.” Colton looks at the floor this time, that same twinge of muscle and the colour of his eyes glow a little amber for a second. A hint he isn’t happy, his emotions in turmoil as I feel them ebbing this way strongly suddenly and it only takes a second to find out why.
“Is he really suggesting we apply force to families and children if they refuse to be rehomed?”
It’s Cesar who bursts out with it, outrage in his tone and almost accidently evicts Meadow from his lap, who looks equally startled.
Colton remains silent and the room falls into a matched hush as they take it in. I can feel and taste the confusion and disgust, but no one wants to be the first to say it. I just gawp at him, not sure I heard that right but looking from ashen face to ashen face of a group of people who all know what he means, it dawns on me that is exactly what Juan wants.
He expects his sub packs to go and forcefully move people from their homes and into the valley floor on the south side. In the name of protecting them from attacks but the motive is bringing them in and taking control. Refusal will not be tolerated, and I wonder what kind of punishment he plans to exact. Juan is a cold bastard of a man and this isn’t even as low as I expect he will go. Juan always intended to push his agenda and now he’s using the attack as his excuse. He hungers for power and reign across the packs and has been biding his time for so long.
They won’t be any safer camping in the valley than they will in their own villages under the guard of patrols and watchers. Setting up alarm systems and training all who can fight, how to do so is a better use of their time. They can all work together to safeguard and improve security from their own homes. How are they going to care for and cater for the hundreds who live around the mountain skirt if they dump them all in the centre of the valley?
There are enough Santo’s to successfully spread out and patrol the mountain every night after dark, the only time Vampires can come out. They can rest in the day. Raising an alarm is enough to get them there fast…the orphanage is proof that they can span miles in half the time of a human in a car and if they had warning they would move to get there in time. With patrols already out there, the people would have way more expectation of getting through it. It makes no sense to bring them here. Matteo is right; this is about control.
“What good is gathering us all in one place. Like Matteo said, they set off that machine and everyone of us, corralled in the valley will be rendered useless. No one will be able to turn or fight back. It’s easier to massacre a race when we are all laid like fish in a bowl and no one will be free of its effects if the only area we patrol is the valley. I am sure they can make bigger or use multiple to hit us all at once.”
Jesus is now on his feet pacing, agitated and getting worked up by the second. I am starting to feel the restless unease spreading through them all like a virus as they mumble their agreeance and I keep looking to Colton to say something.
“This is pointless…you think I don’t think the same and that I didn’t try and reason with him? Nothing I said made a difference.” Colton stands up, losing his temper, agitated too and utterly drained. I can feel it coming off him intensely, and his eyes lock on mine again as he catches me across the room, ignoring Carmen throwing her own his way.
“Come on, Lorey. I need to show you to your new room. I’m too tired for this and we all need to meet down at mess hall for dawn. Go to bed you reprobates. Stop arguing with me because it’s futile and it’s not my place to make you obey him. We need sleep.”
I don’t need to be asked twice. I jump up, suddenly a little too excited at being alone with him again and know it’s because I have mentally taken another path and have a plan in place. I go to follow him as soon as he makes a move towards the door and almost gloat at the way Carmen’s face crumbles.
“One of us could show her.” She snaps bitterly and he just spins his head back, looks down at her with a blank expression and doesn’t move a step further.
“Yeah you could…but that isn’t what’s happening.” He shrugs with one shoulder, his tone icy cold and it seems to shut her up. Recoiling back as though she has been burned and I can tell he is in no mood for more defiance or squabbling. Her eyes mist over with what I expect are fake tears and I really try hard to figure out what it is he ever saw in her. Carmen is a horrible person with a selfish spoiled attitude and I really don’t like her.
At least I now know why he is this way with her. The indifferent behaviour and biting tone. Colton’s ego is wounded, his pride dented and as much as I don’t want to believe he had any feelings for her after we imprinted, I can feel the hurt in him radiating out. He maybe didn’t love her anymore in the way he used to, but he cared enough that he thought he could salvage their pairing until she hurt him. Her betrayal in that way cut him deep and he has lost all respect and trust for her, which doesn’t bode well in a sub pack.
Colton walks past me on the way to the door, catching my hand in his as he does so, making me jump as I was too busy looking at her and leads me out amid the happy joyous coo of Meadow
“Don’t stay up too late…go to bed. Hers or yours, either is optional and fine by me, Chicas.” She laughs in that raunchy cheeky way she has when she is being brazenly sexual, echoing behind us as we leave the room and I blush crazily, trying not to look his way as I catch his eyes flick on me. Nervousness envelopes me once again and instantly I am back to being awkward and shy.
Soon as we hit the corridor, he shuts the door and gives me a proper smile, swinging my hand in his like we are children and tugs me closer so we rub arms as we walk; working our way out before hitting the main passage. The closer I come to him, the even more aware of how truly drained he is. It’s seeping from every pore and despite the smile and the playful behaviour I can feel his stress levels are elevated and his body is emitting a low depressive mood.
“You look really, good. “ He says it with a half-smile, one dimple on show and I just shrug childishly, still not ‘owning it’ as Meadow would say.
“I’m not sure about the look, it feels kind of weird to be wearing such tight clothes.” I squirm as I try to unwedge the jeans from my butt gracefully, and he throws me a cheeky look as he watches me attempt it.
“Want some help?” it’s a grin this time, a smooth move kind of flippant comment made by the males who walk around like cockerels in a hen house and not an actual serious question. It’s obvious he expects my usual rebuff, but instead I throw a smile back his way, swallow down the utter nerves and butterflies he’s hitting me with and nod in the way Meadow showed me. She gave me a crash course in simple flirting while doing my hair earlier and I throw on the sexy smile and flutter my lashes, butting in against him coyly.
“If you like.” I bite on my lower lip, not sure if I am doing it right but his reaction, I guess, says I am.
Colton trips over an imaginary piece of carpet and coughs to cover his clumsy response, looking immediately less confident, perplexed, and failing at Mr smooth all in one fell swoop. Cocky but not actually willing to follow through.
“Not the response I was expecting.” He frowns, swallows a little obviously and fixes his eyes ahead of us while he regains his previous composure.
It’s not like I couldn’t tell, and I just throw a one shouldered coquettish shrug, absolutely dying inside with how weird and fake this feels. I have never flirted or played games with boys. I never had any interest in doing it before Colton.
Colton turns away, seemingly putting a little distance between us and the opposite of what I was going for as he points us up a flight of stairs.
“This way, you should memorise the route so you can find it again.”
We are away from the main hall and the grand sweeping staircase and in some back corridor with narrow steps to the next floor. Every wall painted beige, dark wood floors and potted plants dotted around prettily, they have even started replacing windows up here and one newly glazed one is letting light shine through. Colton begins leading the way, his hand no longer in mine as he slides in front of me to climb the stairs and I suddenly feel awkward and shy that my attempt at flirting backfired. I don’t get it. I mean he is meant to be completely hot for me and yet acts like a coy virgin who doesn’t do well with girls at my first attempt of encouragement. He seems all too hyper focused on where we are going and no longer on my presence. His mood is still weird and now he’s making me feel the same way.
Sort of sad, depressed and a bit tetchy and unsociable.
“Here, this door on the right. This used to be Taryn’s room, but she mated up and now lives with Franko, her mate on the third floor. Rooms all yours.” Colton steps in front of a large dark wood door tucked into a tiny alcove in an airy part of the hall that widens out, using a keycard and motions for my hand when he slides it into the machine.
“Hand here and it will save your print for future use. No card or key necessary.” He throws me a courteous quick lipped smile, takes my wrist, lifts my hand and holds it on the smooth black panel, pressing in digits as he does so and then yanks the card out before it flashes red and beeps. He lets my hand go quickly as though he doesn’t want to be here holding it anymore and I can sense his urgency in wanting to leave. It brings me down with a thud and a seriously painful ache in the chest.
“Not hidden away in the west wing anymore? I ask quietly, sounding as somber as his mood, looking for something to engage him in conversation with because I literally feel his intentions of sneaking away and leaving me to my new room and it sucks.
“He wasn’t happy that I decided you should be among the rest of us and part of this pack, seeing as he is trying to unite the mountain. Convinced him your showdown was under better control and wouldn’t happen again” Colton avoids my eye, obviously not really telling me everything that was said.
“And he gave in, just like that?” I hate the fact that I can sense he is being evasive now and keeping things from me.
“Not exactly. Sometimes I am good at arguing my corner. Sometimes…” Colton looks away, seeming defeated as though tonight has taken a toll on him. Whatever was said to his father, I can feel his strained emotions and weary mood coming at me like a fog the longer we stand here.
“Just tell me….I am a big girl and I can take it.” I sigh, letting my frustration out and I catch the flicker of hesitation before he sighs too.
“He doesn’t care that you have a special gift. He wouldn’t entertain the topic. Shut me down and bombarded me with his disappointment in my lack of putting my pack and my responsibility first.” His crestfallen face and the surge of pain that hits me in the chest tells me his fathers words wounded him. It serves to remind me though that this is not all about him doing the right thing, it’s also about pleasing someone he looks up to and loves and has always obeyed.
He swings the door open and steps aside, making it clear he is depositing me like a gentleman and nothing else. He is done talking about this and he isn’t going to argue about it either. No usual Colton touchy feely, no intimacy or any kind of anything . He just steps back and holds it wide as the lights flicker on automatically. Putting space between us and fixing a look on me that screams more of commander, than boy that loves me. He’s closing off, shutting me out.
“If you need anything, then mind link me. There’s food in your room, I had it put here before I came to the communal. Enjoy your supper and get some rest. I’ll come for you at dawn.” It’s empty and devoid of emotion. He moves to leave as I step inside and panic grips a sudden response out of me. That churning nausea that he’s being like this, slicing at my guts.
“Colton….what have I done?” I blurt it out like a needy sad Carme type, and he frowns, stopping mid step and turns back at me, a very noticeable wince of pain flashing across his face. It kills some of the sterile stance and he seems to sag a little.
“You haven’t done anything. It’s me. My father wants me to stand up and take my place. He wants me to mark Carmen at the next moon and just resolve what he calls our little issue. Nothing I say, makes a difference, he won’t bend, so maybe it’s better for us to just keeps our distance and hope that something changes or that my marking her kills our bond.”
He’s deflated, looking so much younger and vulnerable than his years in this moment and giving up so easily. My instinct is to get mad and yell at him, like I have done so many times before already in our short acquaintance but my plan of earlier pushes through, reminding me that he’s lost and set afloat right now. He’s in pain too and struggling to navigate it as much as I am. So much weighing on his shoulders that I don’t understand and can’t see.
I need to bring him in and secure him to my harbour. Stop letting him pull all the ropes, stop expecting him to sail against the storm alone, making all the moves.
Don’t push, even if my instinct is to feel disappointed in him and seething with anger.362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OSdkajWCK
I need to stop, breathe and look at him another way. As someone who needs gentle coaxing and nurturing. He’s stubborn, he’s bound by duty, but I have his heart and I need to help that power grow from inside out.
I lower my tone, gently whispering it as I cross towards him, fighting my own nerves and inexperience and putting faith in the fact I know he loves me. Taking my cue from Meadow. I step across the gap and raise myself on tip toes to reach him, laying one hand flat on his muscular chest and lifting the other to his jaw line gently. My eyes resting on his, locking on him the way that always makes me feel safe.
“Don’t give up on us.”
I run my fingers up his cheek and cup his face, pulling him close, so softly, my breath fans his lips and I feel him physically sag into my touch, needily. Melting against my briefest connection, his pupils dilating as I bring his forehead to mine. No matter what he says or how he acts, his truth is always in our touch and he cannot deny the affect is has on both of us. That need to just fluidly pour into one another.
“I’m not worthy of you…. Today showed me that.” It’s husky, strained and low.
It’s self-pity and exhaustion. Defeat because his father has knocked him down once more and left him reeling from cruel words. I refuse to accept what he’s saying as truth to what he is feeling and instead of anger, I lean up and press my lips gently to his. Startling him with the sudden contact and refusing to back down.
It takes a second of pause, his body going rigid before he relaxes, pushes his face forward to fully kiss me and his hand comes to slide around the back of my neck as he takes over. It didn’t take much to ignite that fire in him and I groan as he gives me what I was yearning for.
Kissing him is so familiar and as I open my mouth to let things progress all those feelings and crazy urges rush back like a massive tidal wave hitting the shore. So easy to become consumed and intoxicated with need when we are touching this way.
Colton stirs against me, his body easing against mine, relaxing into the hold we have on one another and meeting my groan with his own murmured growl of enjoyment. We were made to kiss one another, and I can’t imagine anyone ever tasting this good or making me feel this complete. Neither can deny our bond when we kiss, it’s potent and all consuming.
Just as his hands begin to slide down my body, bringing my pelvis to his, hinting at his sexual excitement; he stops. Catching himself and pulls away fast, so suddenly he literally rips us apart. He steps back, fully releasing me, almost letting me topple with the sudden loss of support, but I catch myself on the nearby door frame, breathless and panting with how hot that make out session was and glance up at his shell shocked expression.
“We shouldn’t….it’s only going to make this harder.” He closes right back down inside of his own head. That softness of his expression, the dilated pupils and stirring body; It all reels back at speed as he regains perfect control.
“I disagree. I think we should take what time we have and have no regrets about it. My body yearns for you and I could feel it was mutual. We are doing nothing wrong in the eyes of the fates. This is what they wanted for us. Stay with me tonight.” It’s brazen for me, and I swear I hear Meadows voice in my head egging me on as the words tumble out. A confidence growing that I never knew I could possess and a shameless need to see this through. I am all in and willing to lose my virginity tonight.
I don’t care if I’m not marked, I will let him in my bed and make him bond to me in other ways if it makes him start fighting for his right. Sex will bind us, and I am willing to use any tool to get my mates head out of his ass.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.” Colton can’t look me in the eye, and I can feel the agony waving his way from me. The turmoil, the regret. My boy is screwed up in the head and fighting with his own emotions. I realise this is going to be tougher than I thought and it’s not just Juan’s command; Colton is fighting with his own inner voice about what is right and what he should do. I can taste the indecision.
He steps forward, eyes still downcast and surprises me with a fast fleeting yet soft kiss on the forehead that renders me mute. A moment of his gentle affectionate side to let me know he does care.
“It’s not that I don’t want you….. just please, don’t hate me.” He doesn’t wait for an answer, just turns on his heel rapidly and heads back the way we came at speed, not looking back, wounding me with how much he is fighting this. My heart thuds through my chest, stomach in knots as I watch him go but I remind myself that I am not a girl who falls at the first hurdle and I won’t give up.
If you change your mind, my door for you will always be open. I’m not giving up on us.
My mind link follows him out of sight, my heart aching harder the further he gets away and I am close to tears but bite them back. Refusing to break down and be weak over this. Colton needs strength and I am going to prove I have a lot of it.
I survived my family’s death and my make shift packs. I am tougher than I ever gave myself credit for and it’s time I started to own that.
I wait for what seems like an eternity, agonising silence in the air until he’s far out of reach emotionally and the sounds of his footsteps on wood have drifted hopelessly away. I almost break down and cry when no response comes at all, feeling desolate and alone when he delivers that one little ray of hope.
I love you. I won’t give up on us either.
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