A War is Coming
I sit quietly in the bedroom I was frog marched into some hours ago. The food tray some random Santo dumped in here for me untouched, as I have literally no appetite and I am laid out on the bed staring at the endless white ceiling of a room that probably cost more to decorate than they spent on the orphanage the whole time I was in it. I am bored out of my mind but since my explosion nothing in the house is working. Nothing electronic, no lights at all and they are working on rectifying it. I’m still not convinced I did this, but it all seems to point this way.
Apart from the boarded-up window and the now décor free shelves and such after they swept through removing the carnage of smashed items, it’s pretty nice. Gold and cream with brown leather and opulent fabrics. It’s like a hotel boudoir in a five-star establishment and bigger than the entire lounge and kitchen at the rejects home. The Santo’s always were one of the wealthiest packs in Radstone and it shows. Their pack house is a mansion with endless corridors and rooms, and they have stuck me in their west wing, far from everyone else in the building until they figure out what I can do. I could scream and erupt in here and no one would hear me.
The house is now echoing with distant banging, drilling and all sorts of construction sounds as they try to secure their abode once more and I can’t say I feel any kind of remorse. I mean at first, I was in shock, kept questioning if I really did that , if I was capable and now, I just feel numb once more. Shunned to an unused part of their building, nothing changed from being one of the black marks they left to rot on the darker side of the mountain. I’m exhausted, in need of sleep but completely numb to all other emotions.
A light tap on the door draws my attention from trying to count cracks that aren’t there, and I know before they open it who it is. I can feel him. Felt him making his way down the hall towards me moments ago and I really don’t want to see him or anyone. That intense excitement at his presence that was there before is waning with everything that happened since. The bond isn’t weakening but my own emotions are overpowering everything else right now. I’m grieving the family I never knew was mine and replaying the horrors while also trying to push them deep down in the recess of my brain.
“How you are holding up in here?’ Colton’s voice sways my way as he slides in, that sultry sexiness that does still manage to illicit tingles on my skin, closing the door behind him quickly, and I catch sight of him checking the hall before he does. It’s obvious by his swift maneuver that he shouldn’t be in here with me and is defying some rule, probably from his father or maybe Carmen. Checking no one followed him to the empty side of their palace. I sigh, look back at the ceiling and just ignore him. Annoyed that he is a part of all this and just another member of a pack that has outcast me for years.
“Still pissed huh?” There is a defensive quality in his tone, not his usual commanding strength and I roll away to face the wall and turn my back on him. I said all I needed to downstairs and I don’t know why he can’t just leave me alone. He told me that was how it was going to be that day in the forest and yet he’s the one who keeps breaking his word and reaching to me. He is pretty useless at staying away and it doesn’t help. Every contact, every conversation just makes us bond all the more and feel like I really do know him.
“I don’t blame you. What you said…. It’s true. I did make a choice, but you know why; don’t hate me for that. Not that right now any of that holds significance with the new current events. The elders are in lockdown in the grand hall, I couldn’t stand being in there anymore. I just had to come make things right with you and to talk.”
I blink at that, wondering if the topic of the day is Vampires, or the freak wolf who just busted their house up. Not that I care enough to ask. I remain still, don’t react and just continue to stare at the shadowy and uninteresting painted wall. My body is betraying me in small ways, but I clamp down on the sensations winding through my limbs and stiffen to stop his effect on me.
“Say something, please.” Colton appears closer in a flash and I jump when the bed dips behind me, his warm body sliding up close against me as he too lays out and he slides an arm around my waist to turn me. I don’t resist but let him roll me onto my back, pulling my face to him until we are almost nose to nose, him leaning over me scooping down to bridge the gap. The room isn’t brightly lit, only a light from candles in the far corner, seeing as I smashed every bulb in the house, so he casts a shadow over the both of us, making it near impossible to really make him out. I shiver involuntarily at our close contact and just his general allure. I curse the fates out for making me want his touch even when I’m seething inside.
“Something.” I mumble with complete lack luster and catch a slight hint of a smile from him. Amused at me for giving him attitude and it does serve the purpose of softening me a minuscule amount. I can’t deny the way contact with him always sends my body and senses into high alert, even when I feel like this. Pushing my bitterness aside and letting his warmer mood seep in.
“You asked me a question downstairs. You asked me if I even remembered you.” It’s softly spoken the way a lover would whisper to you while held in their arms. He lifts his hands to trace my cheek with his finger, removing a strand of hair that I couldn’t even feel and leans down closer towards me so his breath fans my face and for a moment I wonder if he might kiss me again.
I shake it away mentally knowing how stupid I am being. He already made it clear we would never be that.
He raises a brow as though expecting me to at least say something to that, but I just deadpan blank stare him and give him nothing. My head busy with ludicrous thoughts and I try to empty my mind before he picks up on it.
“It’s like that huh?” He sighs, adjusting his position so he is propped up again on his arm and gives me a little breathing space. Moving back a few inches but still pressed against the side of my full length and still touching my face.
“Two summers ago, before Carmen and I started dating. You were wearing a green dress, serving candy floss at the meadow festival. You served me, wouldn’t look me in the eye and when you passed me my change, you dropped it on the ledge rather than hand it to me. You had a yellow flower in your hair.“ His voice is soft and husky and I try hard to lock on his gaze as my memory dashes backwards trying to pin point what he’s remembering. It’s vague but I remember the festival and the way his whole pack spent the entire day lording over the rest of us and causing mayhem. It was a nothing day and nothing sticks out as memorable about it.
“You have my memories, so how do I know your not just tapping into one of mine” I blurt out, a little stubborn indignation in the mix because I know he is trying to get me to be a little less mad at him. It wouldn’t be hard for him to now look backwards and see me when he has all of mine in there to choose from.
Colton smiles, lifts his fingers to my temple and gently presses, projecting his memory to me among the many we share. An instant mental visual of that sunny day and there I am, standing at that cart, making floss and looking like maybe the day wasn’t as bad as I remembered. I have a strappy dress in a nice shade of mint green that brings out a golden colour in my hair. My tousled waves blowing free in the wind and for a second, I look almost carefree. Maybe even pretty. That is until I turn and see the group of Santo’s heading my way and instantly nose down and go into full submission. You can almost taste the change in my disposition as I realise they are coming to my stall and I am not happy about it.
I pull his fingers away sharply.
“Doesn’t prove anything.” I shrug and turn my face from him. Not wanting to revisit any memories of those men making me feel like worthless trash anytime they had to talk to me.
“The memory is from my eyes, not yours. It proves plenty. Do you want another?” The cocky hint, and I can almost feel the smirk as his hand comes back to rest on the flat of my stomach, a little too comfortable for my own liking. It just annoys me how easily he finds this slide into touchy feely when he is the one who chose to sever our ties. He has a woman somewhere in this house pining for him and yet here he is again, touching me like I’m still his property. For once I actually feel like Carmen deserves better and he maybe lost his affection for her, but she didn’t for him, and he should still care about her feelings. This would hurt her if she saw us like this.
“Okay so you remember me. Whatever. It doesn’t mean much except we interacted before. A few times actually. Of course in the memory banks I will be there. That wasn’t the point of what I was saying. All that memory shows are you saw me and managed to remember it.” I roll away pushing his hand off me fully, hinting to give me space and return to my previous position. Bristling internally with the war going off inside my head and returning to irritation.
“You don’t remember me, do you?” Colton pushes me in the back of my shoulder lightly, almost teasingly and I shirk him off. Not impressed with him trying to turn this around and roll my eyes. He’s being a little too flippant for a guy who spent tonight ripping apart vampires. His focus should be on our impending doom and our life from here on in and not whatever this is. Reminiscing the ‘good old days’ and just adding weight to why he will never rebuild trust with his chosen ‘mate’. He’s not exactly acting like he cares about doing it from what I have seen.
“Don’t be stupid. How could I not remember the Alpha’s son of lord Santo. I have known who you were since birth.” I answer with complete sarcasm. He is starting to grate on me now. I mean we share every single memory each harbours so it’s pretty dumb telling me I wouldn’t know something that he does. Or that I didn’t remember him all these years. How could I forget the guy who walked around for ten of them like our lord and king? How could I know the son of the man who ordered my kind into exile.
I don’t get a chance to hit him with any kind of comeback, his hand comes at me from behind and he feels out my temple once more, projecting from the many hours of mental movies a single one that shoots to the forefront.
I inhale sharply as the image of my mother comes to view winding my instantly and pushing me to complete still submission. She’s holding my hand as we walk around the edge of the lake near the cavern. The place near where he asked me to meet him that day in the forest. She’s laughing, fixing the bow in the back of my hair that’s keeping it all off my face and yet I am seeing it from the eyes of someone in the water. I’m young, maybe seven, maybe eight but I recognise myself. I recognise her too, my beautiful mother and that dazzling smile, those blue eyes, and it tears at my soul. The pain cutting into me and slicing away some of my armour.
She walks me to the edge and let’s me go when I run forward and splash into the water, no sign of hesitation. A brave little girl who thought she was capable of anything. I run, splash and dive as soon as I get waist deep, her calling encouragement from the edge as she watches me. I can’t pull myself away from her face, her laugh, the way her voice echoes in the air around us and surrounds me with a unique warmth like she is hugging me now.
If I am Colton in this memory then he watches me for a minute too, dragging my eyes back to me and she fades off out of scene. He follows my progress as I swim across the lake and then he’s pulled sideways and I’m suddenly seeing water. Submerged, hands in front as I swim back to the surface, coughing and spluttering as another boy instantly blocks my view. I recognise him as one of his closest Santo pack. A boy called Matteo who is usually in Colton’s shadow wherever he goes.
“Do you like her or something? Why you always staring at her Cole? Is she why you made me come here? I feel like she is wherever we go nowadays.” He teases, pushing me back and all I hear in response is…
“Shut up. She has a name. Get out of my face and stop being dumb.” It’s Colton’s voice. Undeniable even at such a young age, that smooth undertone of immature depth that grew into how he sounds now. The completely defensive tone and embarrassment hints that his friend is right, and I know from learning so much about him lately that when he gets caught out, he gets bristly and hostile. It starts to dawn on me what he’s showing me as he lets go and breaks the projection.
I turn on him at speed , eyes wide and just gawp, not really sure I just interpreted that the right way but what other way could I.
“You liked me?” I don’t understand. That memory is long before the wars catapulted into our life and changed everything. A time I can barely remember, and I definitely don’t recall that day either of us having any kind of memorable interaction. He stayed with his friends and I stayed with mine and then I went home with my mother before the sun went down. I would have to claw through the memories to be sure but there was nothing to suggest he even noticed me.
“I had a crush on you, like you wouldn’t believe. I don’t how many times I tried to talk to you and got completely blanked or lost my nerve. I used to hang out where I knew you would be, but then the war happened, and you became….” His voice tails off, eyes averting, shame washing over his expression and I know what he means without him finishing.
I became a black sheep. My family died and our people scraped up the remains and shunned my kind to the darkest corner. I was one of the rejects and much like everyone else, they were told we were cursed and to keep their distance. Colton was a kid and I guess his father really drummed it into his head that I was unworthy. His crush died, he forgot me, and he moved on with his life.
“Why are you telling me this? I don’t remember you ever trying to talk to me, I don’t recall times where you were there in my childhood.” Not that it means anything. Now it’s just hurting me all over again knowing that even then, he bowed to his fathers will and rejected me before that day in the woods. If we were destined, then he failed me twice.
Colton sighs, pulls me close by the waist and brings my face back to his so that he can move in and rest his forehead on mine. The kind of intimacy you would expect from a mate and I have to remind myself that we’re not anything close. I don’t relax into his touch but stay like cardboard and refuse to melt into him and succumb to his power over me.
“I was shy, and you were this fearless confident girl that walked around with her friends, oblivious to any of us. Boys were dumb and you all liked to make a point of avoiding us at all costs.” He points out, reminding me a little of memories gone by, so well buried to save my heart from the pain of losing my family that I had almost blocked them out completely. A time when the packs lived in proximity but kept to their own. A time when the Santo boys were just ‘that bunch of idiots from the south side’ and had no authority over the rest of us.
It feels like a million years ago now when life was normal, and I had a real home. My own warm bed in my own little pink room on our farm. I had parents, a brother and grandparents. I was happy and carefree and had no idea there was a storm coming that was big enough to take it all away from me. There was a time when I was just another wolf child and Colton and his friends were not our superiors, but a rival pack and we had no real animosity.
I do smile at the possibility that Colton was once shy. I mean, that I don’t believe now, but raking through my memories stored in my brain that belong to him, daring to push back to the before where all my visions pain me still, I guess I can pinpoint a few that show a much quieter boy. He turned young and at first, he wasn’t he fearless aggressive wolf that we all know him as now. He was sweet at some point in his life until I guess he was hardened with whatever responsibility his father laid on his head. He was just nine when the wars happened and as a boy who already ran with the pack, he would have lost so many years of childhood in taking over in his father’s absence and protecting his family. We had attacks here too, and many young boys had to fight for our survival. I don’t doubt he was one. I can almost see the point in which he turned away from anyone who wasn’t Santo, pushed people away and stayed in his own little bubble, snarling at others who dared to come too close.
Colton the shy sweet boy and me the fearless bossy girl who didn’t let others push her around.
Oh how the tables turned.
“So you knew me. It doesn’t matter.” I sigh finally, realising he has worn me down enough to get me talking to him and I am no longer sulking in silence and staring listlessly at a ceiling. Instead I am lost in a million thoughts and feeling all kinds of sad and depressing things. This is why I never walk down memory lane to see who I used to be. I am also betraying my own will power and have at some point curled up against his chest and pushed one foot between his ankles snugly. I reverse, moving back a little, screwing my face up at just how potent this bond can be.
Colton just narrows his eyes and stares at me for the longest moment, knowing this direction of conversation is futile and doesn’t really change anything. Even if he did remember me, if he liked me, we are where we are and it’s not really important anymore. He can’t undo what is done and who I am now.
“Anyway…why are you here. I thought you were scared of me now.” It’s a half joke, half real question because it had been playing on my mind the first couple of hours, they locked me in this lifeless room to listen to the house being mended and boarded up. It’s also my attempt to bring us back from the intimacy that is now making me uncomfortable as I push a little more space between us. I don’t even have a cell phone to keep me occupied as I have no friends and the orphanage wasn’t going to pay for them.
“Actually, it’s sort of about that. Why I am here I mean. About earlier and your moment of whatever the hell that was.” Colton’s face turns serious and I can almost feel the gear switch as he focuses his mind on that topic. All tenderness fades away,
“What about it? You came to tell me they all think I’m a freak and a threat and I’m getting moved to an isolation tank.” I say it so blankly like there is no feeling behind it, but honestly, it has had me worried to the pit of my stomach on and off for hours. Isolation tanks dampen gifts and make you unable to do anything much about it. If they think I am some kind of freak of nature, I can totally see Juan using that as an excuse to contain me. It would solve the whole imprinting issue and his son being in danger. I would literally live in a steel box forgotten in some basement below one of the Santo houses. I could live and rot until I die of age in there. Problem solved.
“They are all too busy figuring out what we do about our lands before we are hit with another attack. This shit is just the beginning, Lorey. All these years wasted when we should have been preparing and building an army once more. Now they’re calling on packs from the far reaches to consider uniting and mounting an offensive. No, you are low on the list of things they are worried about….whereas I have a theory.” He smiles a little at that, a lightness hitting his expression , the look of smug knowledge spreading into those deepest darkest chocolate eyes.
“Which is?” I sounds as unconvinced as I feel, and he just smiles all the more. I don’t like the wry way he does. My instincts start to shift and suddenly I feel like wariness might be creeping in.
“You have an absorption gift. And that’s what you did. You absorbed the power of the weapon they used in the orphanage and for a short time you can throw it out there as your own. It’s not a common gift and usually they don’t come across devices like the vampire hit you with. It makes sense. You haven’t learned to contain your power and you were overwhelmed.” He sounds so convinced, actually pleased at how smart he is for figuring it all out in a logical and almost believable way. I have heard of this type of gift among wolves. Well heard stories and legends, like he said, it’s not common. They absorb and can use other wolves’ gifts and some they even retain for more than days. They basically can turn any enemies power back on them, and it makes them almost invincible.
“Except ….that weapon, you’re talking about….it didn’t break anything, I didn’t turn it to protect me and it didn’t do any kind of anything outside the house and courtyard. Your father said I sent shockwaves for miles.” I raise a brow and then sigh at the fact I just disproved something that could have potentially made me feel better about what happened.
“Maybe you can amplify it, make it more potent. Maybe that’s part of your gift. We could test that out. Your gifts were dampened by the weapon because you haven’t mastered them and you didn’t even know you could. Don’t you see. If you have a powerful gift it could change things for us. My father might reconsider your place in our pack.” Colton shifts so he’s no longer as close but half sits, and turns to tower over me , letting the candlelight illuminate his face once more so I can fully see him. He looks almost pleased but the doubt and uneasiness inside of me only grows stronger. I’m picking up on weird antsy signals form him and my inner red alert is starting to peak. I push it aside and try to ignore it as nothing more than anxiety because of what he is saying.
“How? If I don’t know how to harness it or what to do or even how to use it.” I query, not sure I am into this, but he seems a little too keen. My head spinning with what he just said and trying not to dig too deeply into his father changing his mind on anything. Colton’s is being stupid and we both know my having a gift that’s above average isn’t going o change the fact I am one of the shamed and will never be good enough for an alpha.
“I can trigger you. Absorb mine see how much you can amplify it back at me. If you can, then his is huge Lorey. It means you have a superior power and we might….. Don’t you see. You might be a Santo yet. If my father sees promise in you then he might reconsider you enough to let you become one of my pack…and then….” He tails off but I can see where his mind is heading, and it now makes sense why Carmen is not high on his priority list. Colton is looking for a way to claim me as his mate, even after everything he said in the forest. I guess the bond for the past weeks has made him as miserable as I have been and that’s why he can’t just stay away from me.
It sounds ludicrously simple except for one little problem. Colton is an alpha with all the gifts that go with that. He’s aggressive, dominant, strong, fast, ruthless when he needs to be. Can command with a mental link and get no resistance and he can jump at insanely high levels. I mean Colton can scale a house of many floors in just two jumps. I can’t even make it over a brick wall without catching on. I have no idea how he is going to expose me to any of that and then make me somehow use it on him. Triggering me might do nothing and he might maim me in the process. I don’t want to do that; I would never be able to hold my own in a battle with him. He would annihilate me even without waiting too.
“I wouldn’t even know how anyway, and you are making no sense. Your father isn’t going to do a U turn because I have a rare gift….my name and bloodline are what he despises.” I slide up too, pushing myself back against the headboard and slide my butt back until I am fully sitting, and look down on him.
“Well, I am guessing I have to do something near you or to you, using one of my gifts so that you instinctively defend yourself. That’s how it should work.” Colton looks away from me a small muscle in his jawline clenching that reveals his rarely seen dimple and I get a surge of uncertainty. He’s thinking about something, annalysing, worrying. Doubting his own decisions and I blink at him a little apprehensively. I don’t like the vibes and now I start wondering in what way he might make me want to defend myself.
“So, what you’re saying is…you don’t have any idea either how to actually do this, right?” I point out, rolling my eyes and playfully shove him in the shoulder a bid to kill the tension and to get him to drop this stupid idea.
“Hey…don’t question the man with the brains. Of course, I know what I am doing and I have a full proof plan. You just need to not hate me after this….” He may sound like he’s joking with me , but there’s a U turn in his mood and a seriousness, a tingle of apprehension hits me in the gut as I pick up again on an undertone between us. A tone of something hitting out at me that is almost deafening. He doesn’t give me a chance to really catch up with him to figure out what just made him feel so bad, but grabs me by my hip, yanks me down the bed and ends up on top of me in under a second. I yelp with the surprise of the maneuver, winded with his sudden weight on top of me; his body fitting snugly against mine in every way until he is literally nose to nose with me, my hands pinned to the cushions beside my head by his. Stunned and suddenly feeling all kinds of things that conflict and collide.
“What are you doing?” I whisper huskily against him, suddenly a little too hot and bothered for my liking and completely distracted from the task at hand. Lust hitting stupid levels from this kind of contact, but it dies when I realise it’s not radiating back, and Colton turns off all of his emotions and link so that he completely shuts me out internally. His face somber, he looks like he isn’t sure, and I swear there is a sweep of regret. My internal self-preservation mode tries to reach out and warn me but it’s too late.
“Forcing your hand. I’m sorry in advance, but we got to try. Don’t hate me for this.”
“Wha….?” I don’t get the question out, because Colton is suddenly all over me in a flash, his touch from loose to harsh, his eyes glow amber and illuminate between us. Using his speed and strength to lasso me within his body, pinning me down, forcing my wrists together over my head with one hand, his feet kicking my ankles apart and pushing my clothes down with his now free hand. It all happens so fast that at first, I am caught frozen, unable to catch a breath and absorb what he is doing until the overwhelming terror hits me hard in the stomach. He’s yanking my clothes down and up to expose my naked body and follows with cruel grabbing and nipping of my skin with his semi elongated teeth.
I gasp at first in shock as I try to fight him off then freeze in terror as I realise what it is he is actually about to do.
Stop it, what are you doing. Let me go Colton….your hurting me. You’re scaring me.
My mind is manic but it’s like bouncing words off a brick wall because he has closed the link and is trying his hardest to keep me shut out. His eyes anywhere but on mine and his face is unreadable. He has gone inside himself, locking down with determination and suddenly I don’t feel like I know him at all. Our bond is momentarily meaningless.
Colton turns hostile as though sensing my fear, using strength, his brute force. His commanding strength which is easily overpowering me. His whole mood and manner changing, his body bristling as he half turns to beast and I physically feel it oozing from him. That taste of aggression that tells me I am his prey and he isn’t going to stop.
I start to struggle but he rips my top open and sinks his head down instantly, letting his teeth extend as he brutally drags them across my breast, leaving pain and blood in his wake. I wail in agony writhing under him, trying to force my legs closed as he wedges a knee between them to force me open. My skin burns as fabric rips and he hauls them clean from my legs, burning and marking me with the force of their removal. His hand rakes over my body as it makes its way over my thigh and heads for my core.
“No, no NOOOO!” I scream so loud my voice cracks and my throat burns. He has me held taught, stretched out and fully accessible to do whatever he wants to do to me.
Imprinted or not. Destined mates or not. It always has to be consensual and no matter how hot you are for your chosen, force is never an option. It’s a cardinal sin to take your mate without her say so. Femmes are to be treasured by their dominant, respected, cared for. Rape is a crime in our lands that could get him hung.
I can’t believe Colton would rape me….I can’t believe I was ever bonded to someone who could do this to me. This isn’t him; this isn’t who I felt him to be when we imprinted. MY head is trying to make sense of this, something nagging in the depths but terror takes over and logic dies a death.
I buck, I close my eyes as I feel his fingers inching between my legs, getting closer to defiling me and taking from me what is no longer his to take. Twisting and turning my body in useless defense and trying to push him from between my knees to no avail. I’m trying to bite, aware my teeth are extending, but he has my head all but wedged between my arms, unable to get free.
His voice booms inside my head painfully, making my brain shudder as he reopens the link, using his dominant tone to further control me and I know I am completely powerless against him.
STOP FIGHTING ME AND LET ME TAKE YOU. I WANT WHATS MINE!
Like before, outraged, hating him with every ounce of my soul, clawing back with a need to save myself from what he intends to do sparks something inside of me. That sudden surge of anger, rage and power, fighting him with everything I have to break free and defy him for ever thinking he could do to me as he please.
I am not a possession or an object. I’m not trash, to be used as he pleases and commanded by his will. I am a heart and soul and a body which deserves to be treated as any other. I’m not nothing… I’m a Whyte and once upon a time our kind was respected, loved and accepted. He can’t reject me then think I am his to abuse or ruin for any other mate. I am worthy and HE is NOT!
HOW DARE HE THINK HE CAN BRUTALISE ME THIS WAY!!!!
I explode, like an inner mind implosion all over again and everything goes black this time as my mind gives out completely.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
