「咁你呢,又點呀?」663Please respect copyright.PENANAzMKTd4AXgR
663Please respect copyright.PENANATSx9anKEMz
阿樂問。這段時間,他和青青接觸得不多,他們的吃飯時間,各有各。663Please respect copyright.PENANA6LmLky5747
663Please respect copyright.PENANAlA4GcdwEbS
「托賴,幾好吖。」663Please respect copyright.PENANACstwbdvXIq
663Please respect copyright.PENANAGLvgvsKl0V
「你咁樣叫幾好?咪玩啦。」663Please respect copyright.PENANAyXfp3sH8jl
663Please respect copyright.PENANA1adHlEgDIz
即使不夠光,但阿樂還是看得出青青的憔悴,突然又說:「上磅睇吓。」663Please respect copyright.PENANAGMut1QfVMM
663Please respect copyright.PENANApXNUEtpAJS
阿樂想確認是不是他的錯覺——他覺得青青越來越瘦。663Please respect copyright.PENANAt6T6Rss3fP
663Please respect copyright.PENANAnZNY71d3KD
然後搬出體重磅,叫她站上去,電子屏幕顯示37.1kg,身高只得米五多一點的她其實不特別瘦,只是脂肪輕。663Please respect copyright.PENANAgAakp2Jh6q
663Please respect copyright.PENANAOzO5uShylC
「搞咩啊,宜家仲要係夜晚,啫係已經重咗……663Please respect copyright.PENANAdgH3gf1Vfv
663Please respect copyright.PENANAo5I1UJwd3o
我煮啲飯唔好食咩?你遲啲返到屋企,你阿媽會唔會以為我哋唔俾飽飯你食㗎?」663Please respect copyright.PENANAzLcUAqzwnz
663Please respect copyright.PENANA3glbtAj8Of
阿樂卻知道她的臉一點點地削下去,原本包得很的圓臉已經消減,和她Instagram的舊相差很遠。663Please respect copyright.PENANA44VHPAhKra
663Please respect copyright.PENANAD2jCOrOJZd
「好食吖,已經慢慢食多咗㗎啦!未到啫未到啫。」她說。663Please respect copyright.PENANAggjWkQqIH2
663Please respect copyright.PENANAudlag9jwfJ
失戀之後,青青的身體差了很多。晚上失眠只在被窩裏漆黑地消耗入睡的耐心,入睡之後卻不斷醒來,有時被雨聲吵醒,有時是發夢嚇醒,有時就是不知何故就醒,每天都只能睡一會兒。663Please respect copyright.PENANA5CaK1naBue
663Please respect copyright.PENANAm3f6l8YaOV
白天的胃口不是特別好,總感覺整個人都很暈。663Please respect copyright.PENANAOQWwtwJiB2
663Please respect copyright.PENANAoSJN8jHdj0
她有吃飯,但也就是為了活命吃的,有時感覺不到餓就隨便吃兩口,即使阿樂煮得很好。晚上又會忽然有心癮暴食,吃完之後又覺得愧疚。663Please respect copyright.PENANA8XwuwPIkY8
663Please respect copyright.PENANAcKNyGTQ8Uz
她的憔悴體現在臉上,眼皮的膠原蛋白流失,眼窩就變深,令她的雙眼皮有點老氣。黑眼圈也明顯,連上眼皮都像塗了大地色系眼影一樣。663Please respect copyright.PENANABNuw861bxm
663Please respect copyright.PENANArL9bD5RJ2d
月經來了一個多星期後,下體又少量出血,不知何故;頭髮大把大把的掉,面臨少年脫髮危機;胃在反覆的飽和餓之間,經常隱隱作痛。663Please respect copyright.PENANAUaEvZaWxxw
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每天都不想做任何事。663Please respect copyright.PENANAOSXh63YMww
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如果看數字,她確實跌磅了,上年的八月她比現在重五公斤。663Please respect copyright.PENANAUPs9gEAaS6
663Please respect copyright.PENANAIvQs2oqE6Y
明明,她是她家人、朋友的寶,為什麼要這樣自我折磨呢?看來脫落的不只是曲折的頭髮,看來還有智商和理智……663Please respect copyright.PENANAXOzS2Lv8yH
663Please respect copyright.PENANAPEUI0NsD9j
明明,她很清楚,就算她橫屍街頭,已離棄她的人都不會在意,最多像看新聞那樣心裏閃過一刻的惻然,假裝悲情地歎一口氣,然後遺忘她的存在、過自己的快活日子。663Please respect copyright.PENANAcJpZSAtGlh
663Please respect copyright.PENANAAUuNHRGoaa
阿樂向青青投向懷疑的眼神,她再強調:663Please respect copyright.PENANA7gKqV0VeAw
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「放心啦,邊睇得出。而且,我已經有食返多啲嘢啦。」663Please respect copyright.PENANAaZyEJg5gEB
663Please respect copyright.PENANAOcjCnaq5iB
「係咪酸嘢易入口啲?聽日煲番茄湯?」663Please respect copyright.PENANAJKtuRAXBik
663Please respect copyright.PENANAqPMdRknf4k
「好——」她的聲音戛然而止,又說:「我諗緊聽日出唔出街。」663Please respect copyright.PENANA5tHe3qMw4h
663Please respect copyright.PENANAGnEbxoq4Hi
最近的好多事,她都不想和好朋友說,因為其實也只是小事吧;而且,她的驕傲不允許她說太多真心的脆弱。663Please respect copyright.PENANApR6WvXTHBn
663Please respect copyright.PENANASvR1zkiEow
此刻的環境,如阿樂剖白心聲那樣,感染了她,突然覺得晚上就應該大肆地分享,好的壞的也是。阿樂和她只相識了兩個月,她感覺可以在他面前不用握緊無謂的自尊。663Please respect copyright.PENANAFYBNZqM6Xk
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何況,他們如此親厚。663Please respect copyright.PENANAUTLMBCWWy9
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阿樂問:「去邊?」663Please respect copyright.PENANA4AjF7K8elv
663Please respect copyright.PENANA3AHl0WGCMM
青青站起,去房拿出電話,決定給阿樂看她的WhatsApp對話。663Please respect copyright.PENANAe3SOU9RI1O
663Please respect copyright.PENANATk1SzKY9db
她的一個中學同學Sean,從朋友處知道她失戀,然後開始頻繁地找她聊天,講一些曖昧的話。663Please respect copyright.PENANAiybGSPrOzl
663Please respect copyright.PENANAZRIquaSjqO
青青直接問:「你想媾我?」663Please respect copyright.PENANAqob4Wkdpls
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Sean回答:663Please respect copyright.PENANA7OTzaTsWNa
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「係。663Please respect copyright.PENANAuQUK0gA5Kv
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以前中學嗰陣我已經鍾意你,諗住DSE完就同你表白。但你嗰時已經有男朋友。所以,我都係冇講到出口,淨係Grad Din嗰陣揾咗你影相。」663Please respect copyright.PENANAnFZY8Jptmr
663Please respect copyright.PENANAur9vi7ewYI
隔了兩小時,Sean見青青未有回覆,又道:663Please respect copyright.PENANAI69n6Mr0dn
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「不如我哋聽日出嚟食餐飯?」663Please respect copyright.PENANAaT9VGsyaPU
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阿樂看完後,說:「佢都幾積極吖,去吓囉。」663Please respect copyright.PENANA02lfzvTgEx
663Please respect copyright.PENANAGZmLiWSlMl
他完全沒有吃醋、難過。他認清,情感一時的高温驅使他對青青有意,但短短十幾天的時間已足以冷卻。反而,如今她聽他講心事,他也想做一樣的事。663Please respect copyright.PENANALVzZhgcRNO
663Please respect copyright.PENANA1cFsesZK0O
「唔知啊……好突然啊好似。」663Please respect copyright.PENANAASEpWjyUZP
663Please respect copyright.PENANAaIZK6Pdo18
除了通識分組同一班、初中曾經同過班,青青和Sean根本沒有太多接觸,她都不知道他喜歡她什麼。不,應該說,她都不太認識Sean,她只知他成績不錯、朋友不少;長相若不是查看了Instagram,可能也陌生得記不起來。663Please respect copyright.PENANAcNGIrLpuef
663Please respect copyright.PENANAfnelrRX42o
「想試咪去囉。」阿樂鼓勵。663Please respect copyright.PENANA4HmNsOAebm
663Please respect copyright.PENANA3saBv48Lav
「想試啊,但係,又唔敢。」青青停頓數秒,又講:「都係算啦,唔會得㗎啦。」663Please respect copyright.PENANAObSuRIZvtH
663Please respect copyright.PENANAUE3J6atERV
她突然直覺和Sean不會後續了,她突然覺得毫無心思,在這寧靜的空間裏,分辨自己的念頭。她回覆Sean:663Please respect copyright.PENANAFOy9QvZhzU
663Please respect copyright.PENANApkBQiohA3W
「Sorry,我唔想。多謝你。」663Please respect copyright.PENANAkuAGPeNT8z
663Please respect copyright.PENANApJZMe0dFnw
阿樂邊看青青看電話,邊調侃她:663Please respect copyright.PENANA4oy47U8MQo
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「咁我咪好好彩,話哂你都肯試。」663Please respect copyright.PENANAf49sXD7ASL
663Please respect copyright.PENANAFak3ivHBM7
「係呀係呀。」她也笑。663Please respect copyright.PENANAN7HBpOG7A8
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阿樂質疑:663Please respect copyright.PENANAaIX6MMH0gS
663Please respect copyright.PENANAffwfJJ5BkH
「點解唔敢呀?唔係叫我狗衝㗎咩,要勇敢㗎嘛?」663Please respect copyright.PENANAf5OfUUmr6A
663Please respect copyright.PENANAobAsI1gM9z
青青思考,然後緩緩地道:663Please respect copyright.PENANA59EmO8i9vf
663Please respect copyright.PENANAFyiG3g8kK6
「我好驚啊因為。我太垃圾啦。663Please respect copyright.PENANAtTkhHjW3FL
663Please respect copyright.PENANAyjD7e4H6BR
啫係,我成日都覺得,無論幾鍾意都好,最後都係會走咁。我頂唔順呀,我份人好撚老土㗎!拍拖要拍到八十歲,一生一世㗎嘛。但可能,真係太天真,宜家又仲咁後生。663Please respect copyright.PENANAFIUDcMC22J
663Please respect copyright.PENANAWpTV5Em0gb
我好唔鍾意呢一個過程——好唔容易先至全心全意認定一個人,由冷漠去到開始熱情、開始信任對方,然後佢就走咗去。其實係咪我問題?係唔係好易接受㗎?663Please respect copyright.PENANACT0eg19Skx
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因為佢,好似一啲都冇唔捨得我啊。」663Please respect copyright.PENANAVQmsBWte50
663Please respect copyright.PENANAHlSijbBMoM
青青緊盯前方的電視,阿樂見狀,突然醒起什麼似的,開啟電視,又放了一隻DVD進去。663Please respect copyright.PENANASyg9Q0zkpO
663Please respect copyright.PENANA84exy0kMie
畫面出現一個火爐,火在熊熊燃燒。663Please respect copyright.PENANAnNxACEcn0y
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「搞咩啊?」青青不解。663Please respect copyright.PENANAQV7mQsDd1B
663Please respect copyright.PENANA88FHRD2eYo
「之前買咗呢隻碟,播住睇,感覺個人會温暖啲。」663Please respect copyright.PENANArgPmzacqA7
663Please respect copyright.PENANANzzjn0Q01b
「宜家夏天喎Ching!」663Please respect copyright.PENANAbwjccdfOtw
663Please respect copyright.PENANAD6uEJFrDpl
「你個心咁凍,啱㗎啦。」663Please respect copyright.PENANAwj9mRKq9UX
663Please respect copyright.PENANAj8kj95whoO
阿樂微笑,青青覺得很奇異。663Please respect copyright.PENANAMUzL5fBZDw
663Please respect copyright.PENANA6fBh7Im2cV
電視上的火光在搖動,映在了他們的眼裏,也透着橙紅色的活潑。663Please respect copyright.PENANAtnmcr1EiDM
663Please respect copyright.PENANAd5f7jev4PN
「OK啦。」她的心沒有變暖,但確實覺得很有趣,竟有人花錢買這種碟看。663Please respect copyright.PENANANITy5QFS7U
663Please respect copyright.PENANAFoPuJEOJog
「因為咁,所以唔信人?」663Please respect copyright.PENANAMO6xdqGid7
663Please respect copyright.PENANAW8bgLVTqyY
阿樂回到剛才的話題,青青正色:663Please respect copyright.PENANAPZ9StLmXMm
663Please respect copyright.PENANAuloVZwG38Q
「係啊,好似覺得,無論對方幾愛,到最後都係會走。佢夠話愛我一生一世啦,夠話以後淨係愛我一個啦……起初唔信㗎我,後來我信,之後佢就飛咗我啦。663Please respect copyright.PENANAZvHRyeHgar
663Please respect copyright.PENANAxb4gUyuYQl
頂……我成個怨婦咁。」663Please respect copyright.PENANAOhOufkvU5r
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青青自嘲。乾癟癟地「哈」了一下。663Please respect copyright.PENANAejwCpqsGOr
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她發現自己有些恐懼。663Please respect copyright.PENANAkWwdZBl9Og
663Please respect copyright.PENANAvbz9omQ2sI
到底,曾經甜蜜如Matt的愛意,最後也化煙。明明是Matt追求青青、首先表達愛意,亦在戀愛中對她極好,令信心不足的她從懷疑到沉淪。663Please respect copyright.PENANAGdnEYS2Txi
663Please respect copyright.PENANAd6TJbMW5Xo
明明是他先到來入侵她的生活。仿佛,二人為新居添置不同的傢俬和私人物品一樣,眼見室內環境已經非常完善;但他宣佈要走,隨即撤離其私人物品,卻留下共同購買的傢俬,供她睹物思人、念記舊時歡喜;她卻因這居室過分和暖而心無怨懟,無法盡興地發洩情緒,獨得傷心在無眠夜裏壓着她。663Please respect copyright.PENANAXiZRu6XcaN
663Please respect copyright.PENANAIWE2gsJlIp
最後,Matt離開。663Please respect copyright.PENANAPNawB4TeCy
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她可笑地見證了這一段關係的興落,從築起到繁華,最終傾頹。663Please respect copyright.PENANAXYpYfiDPGZ
663Please respect copyright.PENANAcgXEDGmeK9
她始知,原來,愛情是這樣的一回事。愛,兩個人,開心,然後不開心。某些Happy ending,唯有期望將來會有。663Please respect copyright.PENANAbUFwvM7B7S
663Please respect copyright.PENANAOW3nDp1Hzq
阿樂破了她的處,沒有令她長大,那不過是幾個姿勢、幾番高潮、幾潭愛液,處女膜破裂,只是暫時的生理性疼痛。663Please respect copyright.PENANAdMUizBOmsa
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但是,Matt的光臨與離任,真令她成為大人——不是好人、不是壞人,僅僅是一個「大人」,她開始明白許多道理,那些她有過的天真的熱愛,都冷硬起來,被摔到地上粉碎得無法拼湊,像攤開手就忘情飛揚的骨灰。663Please respect copyright.PENANAxIj7wWuhhr
663Please respect copyright.PENANAj2zfDsnmJd
是Matt教青青:愛情世界是殘酷的。曾經她想像過的一生一世,其實只是童話般的幻想……663Please respect copyright.PENANAiuj0uiCfFa
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而他們,已過了讀童話的心境了,因只想窺探幸福快樂之後的日子。663Please respect copyright.PENANAluI6XuhdhA
663Please respect copyright.PENANASGBxCz75LD
阿樂只好拍拍青青的肩。663Please respect copyright.PENANAOiKfNVAVaL
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此時,阿樂又冷不防地說了一句:663Please respect copyright.PENANA7bmlzGQrjO
663Please respect copyright.PENANA0WWEGWWict
「佢嗰句『Love you forever』,可能係Made in China。」663Please respect copyright.PENANA8CgYTOhn3g
663Please respect copyright.PENANALVGrpKPW1E
青青被此話篤中笑點,覺得很抵死。