「咁你呢，又點呀？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0hupNfAbH
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVwB3OVsUS
阿樂問。這段時間，他和青青接觸得不多，他們的吃飯時間，各有各。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdblTPDe6t
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeryEzoXfiF
「托賴，幾好吖。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKw5BFs5sA5
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzxqDrRKaC
「你咁樣叫幾好？咪玩啦。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VXoq4pQo6
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6ZnRkeDno
即使不夠光，但阿樂還是看得出青青的憔悴，突然又說：「上磅睇吓。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnHEqAXyeP
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Im8af6HvX
阿樂想確認是不是他的錯覺——他覺得青青越來越瘦。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAqYCL8XgG
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49DO2W8jFh
然後搬出體重磅，叫她站上去，電子屏幕顯示37.1kg，身高只得米五多一點的她其實不特別瘦，只是脂肪輕。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3i9nd60hWG
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFLSPF7nkA
「搞咩啊，宜家仲要係夜晚，啫係已經重咗……593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4PLr29QLk
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8y8ZmxGSC
我煮啲飯唔好食咩？你遲啲返到屋企，你阿媽會唔會以為我哋唔俾飽飯你食㗎？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Zd6UqvuPr
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkdwFmy5sO
阿樂卻知道她的臉一點點地削下去，原本包得很的圓臉已經消減，和她Instagram的舊相差很遠。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EjtpZ3eAv
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbaVXnOnDG
「好食吖，已經慢慢食多咗㗎啦！未到啫未到啫。」她說。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpoZ4FFgWC
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8fhjnwfQa
失戀之後，青青的身體差了很多。晚上失眠只在被窩裏漆黑地消耗入睡的耐心，入睡之後卻不斷醒來，有時被雨聲吵醒，有時是發夢嚇醒，有時就是不知何故就醒，每天都只能睡一會兒。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwT6t7DLy2
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaZrQKQw1C
白天的胃口不是特別好，總感覺整個人都很暈。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWkvqppyBq
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2Ghhlt7vT
她有吃飯，但也就是為了活命吃的，有時感覺不到餓就隨便吃兩口，即使阿樂煮得很好。晚上又會忽然有心癮暴食，吃完之後又覺得愧疚。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2hhPJkX1S
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFxyDnVQKP
她的憔悴體現在臉上，眼皮的膠原蛋白流失，眼窩就變深，令她的雙眼皮有點老氣。黑眼圈也明顯，連上眼皮都像塗了大地色系眼影一樣。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlb90AzSnf
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhRPE00EJR
月經來了一個多星期後，下體又少量出血，不知何故；頭髮大把大把的掉，面臨少年脫髮危機；胃在反覆的飽和餓之間，經常隱隱作痛。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjtNzoQuGq
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Y43ce4fNf
每天都不想做任何事。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KhiAxxOet
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjRNIrcSQo
如果看數字，她確實跌磅了，上年的八月她比現在重五公斤。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bU6Osu3Bd
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWDUwvu93V
明明，她是她家人、朋友的寶，為什麼要這樣自我折磨呢？看來脫落的不只是曲折的頭髮，看來還有智商和理智……593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfDHcI0lOL
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1cAxVbOSP
明明，她很清楚，就算她橫屍街頭，已離棄她的人都不會在意，最多像看新聞那樣心裏閃過一刻的惻然，假裝悲情地歎一口氣，然後遺忘她的存在、過自己的快活日子。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBssrXo58G
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchhIINz7Ro
阿樂向青青投向懷疑的眼神，她再強調：593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMoANMWJ6Tf
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZAKTWqRmY
「放心啦，邊睇得出。而且，我已經有食返多啲嘢啦。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuT450h1QrJ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9WQ6zN2vS
「係咪酸嘢易入口啲？聽日煲番茄湯？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWcZEIsKVK
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrp1TnDpb4u
「好——」她的聲音戛然而止，又說：「我諗緊聽日出唔出街。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXlKJ483Ny
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzFWwvXcMK
最近的好多事，她都不想和好朋友說，因為其實也只是小事吧；而且，她的驕傲不允許她說太多真心的脆弱。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zjIc759Iz
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEz6PyfkJHz
此刻的環境，如阿樂剖白心聲那樣，感染了她，突然覺得晚上就應該大肆地分享，好的壞的也是。阿樂和她只相識了兩個月，她感覺可以在他面前不用握緊無謂的自尊。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zU2NdF4nL
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6OrQ2viAW
何況，他們如此親厚。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbjlzcdBOj
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UsCx777df
阿樂問：「去邊？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6X7GInLl9j
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPo9lveJRyL
青青站起，去房拿出電話，決定給阿樂看她的WhatsApp對話。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFoMPrRQYp
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDFKzkgHeS
她的一個中學同學Sean，從朋友處知道她失戀，然後開始頻繁地找她聊天，講一些曖昧的話。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5ZgbRfl9r
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdi39h8HnG
青青直接問：「你想媾我？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYN0zL8aVQ
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3JN1UsSnV
Sean回答：593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXX4FsewO4C
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XYGc769Qz
「係。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyK8UEOG95L
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXahNn7Az4Q
以前中學嗰陣我已經鍾意你，諗住DSE完就同你表白。但你嗰時已經有男朋友。所以，我都係冇講到出口，淨係Grad Din嗰陣揾咗你影相。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqHCwm0aSE
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJEJLXhU6A
隔了兩小時，Sean見青青未有回覆，又道：593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DarWMPu8y
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9A3JZfYW6
「不如我哋聽日出嚟食餐飯？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHQiwXAcoH
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeuZ9jnPVX
阿樂看完後，說：「佢都幾積極吖，去吓囉。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5uEPNzyOe
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpL8hiHZXs
他完全沒有吃醋、難過。他認清，情感一時的高温驅使他對青青有意，但短短十幾天的時間已足以冷卻。反而，如今她聽他講心事，他也想做一樣的事。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQb3tAUlgzl
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYzfHqoTNo
「唔知啊……好突然啊好似。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFLJuXHjhq
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEYZqvcPOc
除了通識分組同一班、初中曾經同過班，青青和Sean根本沒有太多接觸，她都不知道他喜歡她什麼。不，應該說，她都不太認識Sean，她只知他成績不錯、朋友不少；長相若不是查看了Instagram，可能也陌生得記不起來。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjwketq9qe
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1zuE78rM2
「想試咪去囉。」阿樂鼓勵。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopndMgklma
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pWBy6apb6
「想試啊，但係，又唔敢。」青青停頓數秒，又講：「都係算啦，唔會得㗎啦。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo63IQDDdA1
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXS4vHyhMBq
她突然直覺和Sean不會後續了，她突然覺得毫無心思，在這寧靜的空間裏，分辨自己的念頭。她回覆Sean：593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7Euojsjvj
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgf3s1Y2uN
「Sorry，我唔想。多謝你。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVs0Zxi532
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyL5tiC0vj
阿樂邊看青青看電話，邊調侃她：593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaziTRfAZm
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlgCSb6moX
「咁我咪好好彩，話哂你都肯試。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHETazkPJO
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJt5M0fQp7
「係呀係呀。」她也笑。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktMksIZNni
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5mj86bRpn
阿樂質疑：593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxnjwVciFY
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvZaxFoB2S
「點解唔敢呀？唔係叫我狗衝㗎咩，要勇敢㗎嘛？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WfmDgirWU
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYR5JcNnRIH
青青思考，然後緩緩地道：593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GMQY7PsgN
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NjYifdkTL
「我好驚啊因為。我太垃圾啦。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rNzog4mNv
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNl4WJAimf
啫係，我成日都覺得，無論幾鍾意都好，最後都係會走咁。我頂唔順呀，我份人好撚老土㗎！拍拖要拍到八十歲，一生一世㗎嘛。但可能，真係太天真，宜家又仲咁後生。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ovASGGgO5
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbi7qWJxRA
我好唔鍾意呢一個過程——好唔容易先至全心全意認定一個人，由冷漠去到開始熱情、開始信任對方，然後佢就走咗去。其實係咪我問題？係唔係好易接受㗎？593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBP2I9tc3PR
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbI3JkjA8Tq
因為佢，好似一啲都冇唔捨得我啊。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gNnB0VrPh
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1F3cf89SKR
青青緊盯前方的電視，阿樂見狀，突然醒起什麼似的，開啟電視，又放了一隻DVD進去。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG60zBqonaF
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvIuevNB1p
畫面出現一個火爐，火在熊熊燃燒。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8d1whgTs3P
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YVGlxkBQH
「搞咩啊？」青青不解。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruTQ7oxMHE
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡei0pfWR14t
「之前買咗呢隻碟，播住睇，感覺個人會温暖啲。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95lj4M6Aa3
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnt520I8gwz
「宜家夏天喎Ching！」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxPtVmAhc0
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1PUDVaMBZ
「你個心咁凍，啱㗎啦。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQ9QaL9r4X
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLuns2fvwI
阿樂微笑，青青覺得很奇異。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6YDSc4f9K
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDauX5Rfdfy
電視上的火光在搖動，映在了他們的眼裏，也透着橙紅色的活潑。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgotTlMwbPl
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXBU0G5NeL
「OK啦。」她的心沒有變暖，但確實覺得很有趣，竟有人花錢買這種碟看。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXwyTTVS2S
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGvQYbCzNy
「因為咁，所以唔信人？」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0P0SJcxzg
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeZTJ5Wv2r
阿樂回到剛才的話題，青青正色：593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Pfk3s5gKU
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkgCF6BAuY
「係啊，好似覺得，無論對方幾愛，到最後都係會走。佢夠話愛我一生一世啦，夠話以後淨係愛我一個啦……起初唔信㗎我，後來我信，之後佢就飛咗我啦。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjxjqiz4na
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHAmxiNSIF
頂……我成個怨婦咁。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPXycI4ozg
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlI2zdAxXo7
青青自嘲。乾癟癟地「哈」了一下。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCkE53HtJm
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7VZvURS46
她發現自己有些恐懼。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3teOl8K6WE
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzlngWDrAc
到底，曾經甜蜜如Matt的愛意，最後也化煙。明明是Matt追求青青、首先表達愛意，亦在戀愛中對她極好，令信心不足的她從懷疑到沉淪。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLx9yxlPX39
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTDBQGZDj9
明明是他先到來入侵她的生活。仿佛，二人為新居添置不同的傢俬和私人物品一樣，眼見室內環境已經非常完善；但他宣佈要走，隨即撤離其私人物品，卻留下共同購買的傢俬，供她睹物思人、念記舊時歡喜；她卻因這居室過分和暖而心無怨懟，無法盡興地發洩情緒，獨得傷心在無眠夜裏壓着她。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTxnZE9fdF
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkU5sqMBWtn
最後，Matt離開。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZRCrpfYc6
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLemE921d3G
她可笑地見證了這一段關係的興落，從築起到繁華，最終傾頹。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28T2igOz94
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdD2UJ6Hyh
她始知，原來，愛情是這樣的一回事。愛，兩個人，開心，然後不開心。某些Happy ending，唯有期望將來會有。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvIKe6MijU
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedjwtkeZfw
阿樂破了她的處，沒有令她長大，那不過是幾個姿勢、幾番高潮、幾潭愛液，處女膜破裂，只是暫時的生理性疼痛。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETdvMvZzzV
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIdVXoKWsp
但是，Matt的光臨與離任，真令她成為大人——不是好人、不是壞人，僅僅是一個「大人」，她開始明白許多道理，那些她有過的天真的熱愛，都冷硬起來，被摔到地上粉碎得無法拼湊，像攤開手就忘情飛揚的骨灰。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzWIAuwBYb
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡME6vuJF0dB
是Matt教青青：愛情世界是殘酷的。曾經她想像過的一生一世，其實只是童話般的幻想……593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeF76RchCt
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUf3vebEyET
而他們，已過了讀童話的心境了，因只想窺探幸福快樂之後的日子。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNBluxPXXy
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3YTwoLaJD
阿樂只好拍拍青青的肩。593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9GqsBI9Zr
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZe3FCPRqlU
此時，阿樂又冷不防地說了一句：593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxy0BzQXKt
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqzzFSf8rv
「佢嗰句『Love you forever』，可能係Made in China。」593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDs1W5qZo61
593Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjxwfUJaSV
青青被此話篤中笑點，覺得很抵死。
Penana
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