He’s gone.
No
The door burst open.
“I forget something.”
“Wh..” He grabbed my hair and crashed his lips on mine. Frozen, numb all things happen at one time. Warm and soft lips ran on my lips. The sudden action shows me all-stars. My whole body starts shaking badly. No one touched me in these years but he simply came and kissed me.
“Ro.”
“Open baby so I can enter in your mouth.” Wow, the words told me something else. His grip was tight around me when I opened my mouth. It's so mesmerizing. I like it.
I love it
He's eating me. The hunger for me is still in him. The madness he's showing me with a wild kiss. He never gave me a chance to lead. His lips make me wild. I want more. Throwing my arms around his neck I drag him closer. Turning his grip more tightly he turned my face for a better position.
“Yes, Rose.” We keep linking and eating each other. Just for a second, he left my mouth for breath then again we're on fire. His secondhand came and grabbed my ass hard. A gasp comes when he slaps me. Slowly panting he left my lips. Our eyes met while heavily breathing.
“Don't be late.” He left me confused. My whole body was shaking badly. What had I done? Kissed him back. My eyes land on the mirror in front of me. My skin glowing like a shine and my lips swallow with his kiss. Why did I let him do this to me? But I lost control of how?
Is this called lust?
Passion
Or
Pleasure
Now two hours later I’m here standing outside his room. He gave me the hotel address. After he left I tried every call or I called my old coffee shop boss but he refused to give me anything. My dad and mom things I already sold for my living and I forget that my hands are empty now when I came here and still empty. What if I ask Jessie? What loan do I take? How dare he think about it like that? My married life was not like I dreamed. He left me or someone took him from me. I can see old Laura in him. What if I told him the truth?
No
Now I'm trying to think of something that stops him but the person today he's is not my Ronald. He's never mine. Taking a deep breath my hand raises for a knock.
“Come in Rose I know you're outside.” A heavy voice came from the room and I stopped immediately. How does he know? Slowly turning the handle I came inside. My foot stops again because of the view I’m admiring in front of me. It's so beautiful and the biggest room I have ever seen In my life. King-sized bed and the decoration on the wall and floor like heaven. My gaze shifts to a chair where he's sitting like a devil. A smart and playing smirk ran on his face.
“What's changed your mind, Rose? My kiss or your lust.”
“I want this to end as soon as possible.” The room heat or our heat is so magnetic. Something pulling us for each other. He's still in his office clothes but his messy hair looks so rough in which he's looking so handsome. Stop now, Rose. He's not yours.
“So sorry to disappoint you but..” he came closer and my skin shivered when his lips touched my ear. Warm air hit my neck and something happened between my legs.
What's that?
“You're stuck with me. Your whole nights now mine and I’m so impatient to do some dirty things to you.” He bit my skin and my fist tight around my purse. Why am I here? This is what I want? Yes, no one ever touched me and felt me the way he showed me in one kiss. After that incident i's scared but now the risk is my worst fear. I'm ready to test myself again.
In risk
In lust
In pleasure
“I fucked so many girls but the day I saw you first time in my office wearing a perfect suit that day to now you're in my mind.” He continuously trailed his lips on my lips and my gaze went heavy with lust. My body reacted with his touch.
“I want you Rose so much. I can't control myself here and now before we start I inform you already.” He takes a step back. His green eyes changed in dark mode.
“I'm wild in bed and lost control sometimes and today it's you. Remember the time when you touched me and how I came in two minutes.” How can I forget? He always came into my room when everyone was sleeping. We feel each other in bed. Our hands and our lips never stop. He crushed me for him.
“I... I have two conditions.”
“Accepted.” What?
“At least listen to me for once.” He starts unbuttoning his shirt and my eyes drop on his hands.
“Go on, I'm listening.” His hands moved on his shirt and my breath changed slowly to speedy.
“I want you to pay me double.” He is done with his shirt and his eyes catch me watching him.
“Fine next.”
“I'm not a fan of light so can we do this in the dark.” His hands stop while my breath stops. A silence spread around us.
“Fine.” He switched off the light and darkness spread around me. Suddenly everything changes. My whole body starts burning because the light of the moon feels to me like the heat of the fire. The scream buzzed in my head. My heart is beating faster and after. The crowd was yelling everywhere. A sharp pain hit my chest like a knife dig here. Someone stop that. They're coming for me again. I thought I’m safe but no, my hands were covered with blood.... stop, please...
“Strip.”
“Huh?”
“I said strip, Rose.”
My shaky hands reached over my clothes and slowly I undressed. Standing in fewer clothes I can feel his gaze on me. He's not watching me. The real Rose who's hiding under clothes. What if he saw me? The real one.
Ugly and wounded
“You're a beautiful Rose.” He's not seeing me. A peal of laughter comes and stops.
“What's funny here Rose?” Because you're the fool who's calling me beautiful. Your Rose is now trash and ugly.
“Nothing.” He's taking a step and my fist is tight to stop him. He can't touch me. What if he feels me? What if he touched my skin and understood my crashed soul and broken fear. The pinch-hard dark fog-covered me until I felt his step coming and reaching for me. He's coming.
Suddenly he came so fast and rested his hand on my chest. The world stopped for me. My warm body stood numb and frozen. A light coming from fog slowly spreads everywhere in colors. I'm feeling colors everywhere. Colors of love and happiness. With both hands, he picked me from my ass and helped me lay down.
“I love your smell, Rose. Fresh and flowery.” Our eyes locked and the world changed for me. The color of his eyes now matches my fear.
Dark
No
“Breath Rose for once.” I'm not breathing?
“Are you ready for your payback?” He smiles like a Devil. No
You never know the person who needs to pay back is you. It's happening now. My first time. In college girls talk about their first time. Someone lost her virginity before eighteen. It makes them blush because after sex she likes to cuddle. Ronald hold me every night but we never had sex. He had when I caught him but now he's a player. He only hurts people and his next target is me.
“Just do it, Ronald.” He never kisses me on the lips. Not even once. Just trail his hand down on my stomach. But then he lowered his face and kissed my stomach. Oh, go what's that?
“Ron..”
“You still like it. God, I love it when you stop breathing and gasp.” Something wet and warm run on my stomach makes me jump. What the hell is he doing? When I saw him he's licking my belly. A loud moan comes immediately from my mouth and shocks me. How's that happened? Why am I feeling so much happiness?
“Keep moaning Rose. I want to hear your voice. This is what I missed so much.” He came up and held my hand. His hard chest touched my skin. Wow, he's a really good body. His kisses never stopped until he bit my neck.
“Rose.”
“Hmm..”
“Your skin..” My eyes shut immediately. I know he saw me.
“Wh... what?” His mouth reached on my chest and stopped for a moment.
“So soft like velvet.” Thank god but then I felt him not touching me. What the hell he's doing? Why not he’s fucked me? He just reached for my panty and threw it aside. My breath gets faster and more when I hear something. It's a packet voice. Oh yeah, I forget it's a condom.
We're not the same again. The feeling between couples is gone. He's seriously not trying to touch me. Am I so dirty or useless? He makes me feel like slut. I remember our cuddles night when we touched each other at every moment. On a cold night, I always wait for him to come and warm me with kisses and his love.
“What are you thinking?” He saw my tears.
“You're not touching me.”
“You're not worth it. You lost your right years ago.” Nodding I simply permitted him to fuck me. We're in darkness.
Lost
I shut my eyes and bit inside my cheek. It's going to be hurt. Don't tell him you're still a virgin and waiting just for him. He did not even take a thought and straight push himself inside me. I stop my scream with the biting my lips hard. It's hurting so badly. I think he broke me again but this time physically. He pulls out and again pushes inside and now I’m dead. Storm of tears falling from my eyes. My chest burn and I can’t even breathe. I’m drinking my blood now.
“You feel so...” Broken
Lost
Hurt
He's not Ronald. He's Laura's son who believes in revenge. He takes it hard and fast until my whole body is tight from inside. Something happened to me. The pain changed in pleasure. Moaning and whimpering I pull him close and he hides his face in my neck. Silently I gave him all right not for one night but whole life.
Gentleness, what's that word? He does not even care what I’m feeling? Girls want her first time so gentle and passionate with care and love. I want his arms around me for once. Hold me and push my fears away for once but nothing. I'm controlling my pain with tears and letting them fall.
“Remember it's for me not you so don't even dare to come.” What?
“Ronald, it's unbelievable. I mean how can I stop myself from not coming.” He slaps my ass hard. It's more.
“It's your problem, not mine.” His panting voice looks more aggressive. I'm shaking badly because he's seriously on a different edge.
“R..”
“Don't.”
“Ronald please.” How could he?
“You pay me, Rose.”
“How?”
“Like this.” He thrust like a hulk with a groan and something warm I feel inside runs in me. What's that? No, he can't.
He came without me. He doesn't care about me at all. He is me for sex and now what? He pulled out with a yank and my scream broke all the walls. Numb and sore that's all I feel. He stands and grabs his wallet.
“Take it and get out.” He threw some cash on my face and went to the bathroom. Watching outside I stayed there for two minutes to feel the strength that picked me up from bed. Picking up the cash I covered myself with clothes and walked away. My first step looks like a burden on the earth. He pays me to double. Cash is the only thing that binds us together every night.
With blue eyes slowly I pushed myself out of his room. Unable to see with blurry eyes I just walked and walked until my feet hurt with pain. Today I lost all my self-respect. People think I’m slut and today I proved myself.
I sold my love to my love
After coming home I take a shower and sleep. Hurt and broken I lost myself in sleep. But whenever I closed my eyes Ronald's face came in front of mine and haunted me. Now he's my new fear. The first time I saw him my whole change but I’m so stupid. I thought he could protect me but who's going to protect me from him?
No one
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