"Quick! Come on!"
Snatching onto Alowyn's hand while Bruce had his attention turned to Nisha, I heaved him away from the line of fire and took off.
I couldn't have him being targeted too for simply stepping in.
Nisha had fallen. He had never done that.
Was it because I had said something wrong to him? Was he bringing up bad memories of the past and letting it weaken him?
Adrian followed close behind me.
The only place I could think of was outside. It would be free from everything still buzzing in here.
"What are we doing?" Alowyn asked when I rushed down the stairs into the barroom.
His voice caught the attention of Vinnie, who poked his head up from behind it.
Why was he so low? Was he restocking something in the shelves under there?
But, it did look like he had been crying. His eyes were bloodshot and the skin surrounding them was red.
Did something happen to him too?
"Avery?" he breathed in confusion at me storming for the door "what are you doing?"
"Nothing" I just replied, pushing Alowyn into the hall and leaving the door open for Adrian to slide past "it's all fine. I'll be back soon."
"Ok...."
Slamming myself into darkness, Alowyn waited for me to grab him again.
"Was it that bad?" he murmered down to me.
"It should be fine if we just..." Adrian began, before I cut him off with a noise.
"He needs to get out of here. Once Bruce is finished with Nisha, he'll be looking for him."
"Me?" Alowyn's voice lifted in confusion "why me?"
"Because you saved him."
Shoving outside, I finally released his arm so I could man the door and close it behind Adrian who came to my side.
"You're panicking" he tried to touch my face "take a deep breath."
"I can't. We need to get him out of here" I gasped back, searching for the gates "he needs to go!"
"Avery" Adrian shushed, resting his hands on my cheeks that burned back "take a breath."
He inhaled deeply and I refused. His hardened eyes set on me as he took another that I half copied.
It was shallow and shaky. I didn't even know I was so rattled.
"Another" Adrian ordered, letting me copy him completely.
My chest inflated fully this time. I could feel the thumping in my head and the dryness sawed into my mouth.
"There. Now, what are we doing?"
His hands released me. I looked to Alowyn standing beside us, still puzzled.
"I don't want him to target you" I spoke up to him "when he gets into one of his rages, he does things."
My arm gripped the side of my shirt as it wrapped around myself. Suddenly, I could feel the weight of my stumps, as if they had grown heavier with the dread coursing through me.
My broken arm twinged as a reminder.
"You disobeyed him" I worried "he doesn't like it when you do don't do what he says."
Alowyn snorted, folding his own arms and smirking.
"I'm not scared of him. I've fought things much worse than some drunkard."
"You're underestimating him!" I cried out now, trying to make him see sense "he can do whatever he wants here! If he wanted to, he'd cut your wings off too!"
Alowyn's cockiness slipped away instantly. He shuffled uncomfortably and glanced for the gate.
"Should I...go?"
"You just need to stay out of his way until he sobers up" Adrian piped up now as he went to his side "even then, he's not going to forget."
Alowyn huffed and threw up a hand.
"All I did was save the monkey from falling" he muttered, filling with irritation "he'd rather I let him fall and die?"
"No, of course not!" Adrian groaned back and tried to find a way to defuse him before he got too riled up "Bruce just sees people as an obstacle. You did the right thing, but all he saw was someone else refusing to listen to him."
"But..." Alowyn's brow creased.
"You did the right thing" I added now "you saved Nisha when I couldn't."
I lowered my head in shame. Everything had been screaming at me to take the leap and catch him, but nothing else worked. I was useless as a bird.
If Alowyn hadn't of been practicing nearby, Nisha might be dead on the dining tables right now.
And a fall from that height.... he'd be sprayed everywhere, guts hanging out; brains dripping off the seats....
My throat tightened at the thought. I could feel the forbidden emotions surging upwards again.
It was exciting. But I couldn't be feeling this way.
"Let's just forget about all that" i forced a smile as my nails stabbed into my palms "we are out here now. We can just lay low."
"For the rest of the day?" Adrian questioned "you can't go anywhere."
I'd be stuck here to take the brunt for Alowyn when Bruce realised he couldn't find him. Both he and Adrian could leave. They had every right to since the show wasn't due to start for hours.
"It's ok" I shrugged.
"It's really not" Adrian grumbled back.
Alowyn pulled out his phone to check the time. Grimacing down to me, he scanned the sky.
The light clouds were spilling darkness from within. It was in the distance, but there would be a storm sometime tonight.
That made him nervous.
Was it because the water could weigh him down and make him flightless? A tall man like him didn't look like one to be scared of a storm otherwise. He was too logical to be afraid of some cracking light and loud noises.
That would have to be it. He was afraid he wouldn't make it back to his family.
"I've got to meet the lady up in the roof for some extra ribbon to practice with" he jerked a thumb to the building beside us "and I've got to grab my bag. I, uh..." he hesitated "...probably won't be back tonight."
My gut dropped. Even Adrian turned to me for an explanation I didn't have.
"How come?" I frowned.
If Bruce wanted my replacement to be ready quickly, he'd want to see him here to observe a show. With my absence again as the aerial star, he'd probably introduce Alowyn to gain favour over the crowds who came to see if I would perform.
A patch for a bigger problem later.
After Nisha falling, he'd be rattled. He'd want to do something extravagant to pull the focus back towards himself and make himself believe things were going to be alright.
Alowyn had to be here, just in case.
But, he looked almost ashamed to answer.
Was it only because of Bruce?
"If it's not important, I need you here" I urged "if it's just because of him..."
"It's not" Alowyn almost snapped, hearing himself and quickly calming "honestly. You'll think it's stupid."
"It's because of the rain?" Adrian finished my thought for me "birds can't fly when they are wet."
"Oh, that doesn't bother me" Alowyn grinned "I love the rain. It's just..."
His eyes dipped down as his smile faded. He forced himself to look at us both.
"We lost our last tree in a bad storm. It killed both our parents and broke Soren's wing. If I'm not there to protect them, I'd never forgive myself. They could freeze to death, or drown, or fall."
So many possibilities over one storm. I had forgotten how cruel and unpredictable nature could be sometimes.
But, I was trying to save Alowyn from a fate like mine.
I glanced to the sky. It was still mostly sunny. It didn't look like it would be that bad.
Was he just trying to lay low elsewhere to avoid Bruce? Maybe wait it out until he simmered down and it was safe to return?
"Is the tree stable?" I asked.
Alowyn frowned at my question but nodded.
"It swings a little, but I keep it good."
It sounded sturdy enough. Ours had been through hell too, but it had never broken. The sticks woven around the upper branches to make the massive nest had added strength to it.
"Open or in a hollow?"
"Hollow?"
He didn't know where my questioning was leading to. I was just trying to assess the danger of the situation compared to the one here.
A hollow was sturdy. They'd be protected from the storm and safe inside. If it was deep, it would be better to avoid any spray of rain wetting them.
It sounded perfect. Alowyn was just being overprotective; rightfully so.
"We need you here tonight" I decided, to his shock "a storm will pass. If you aren't here, it'll be worse than what is out there."
"But, my brother and sister..." he began "they need feeding. They need to be kept warm. They're still young. Please, understand me; they can't be alone for that long in a storm."
"And I do" I replied "but you've got them in a good place. The storm will blow right by and they won't even know it. We need you here t...."
"No, you don't" Alowyn snapped now.
He rose himself up to become taller than he already was. I saw his feathers fluffed out and his glare set firmly on me.
"My family comes first" he breathed out every word "of all people, I thought you'd understand most."
His words stabbed through me. They fueled a fire I didn't know was burning inside.
I had to be calm. I was a star. Every action would be judged.
"And I do" I said through gritted teeth "but you get every hour already. Being here for one of them, or even half, isn't going to kill you, Alowyn."
His teeth bared at the mention of his name. Huffing, he backed up so he had a clearance for the sky.
I saw what he was doing, lining up his exit. He wasn't going to return, no matter if I pleaded or demanded it from him.
The fire licked my insides. My nails dug deeper, drawing blood now.
Adrian noticed and rested a hand on my shoulder to try and refocus me. My eyes were only locked on Alowyn, who refused to break contact.
I wasn't going to back down, now we were at a standstill. It was only going to get violent from here.
We'd settle it like the wild ways did.
Taking a step forward, I saw Alowyn hold his ground.
So, he really wasn't going to back down on this. Interesting.
"Guys" Adrian called out "what are you doing?"
"Settling things" Alowyn growled to me.
"Stay out of it" I warned Adrian, breaking eye-contact to make sure he wasn't close enough to get hurt.
That lapse of judgement pulled the trigger. Alowyn charged, slamming his body into mine so his arms could crush me to his body as he leapt up.
His wings beat furiously to give us lift. Kicking at my legs, I stabbed mine back into his middle while piercing my nails into his sides.
With a cry that bordered on bird-like, Alowyn snarled and slashed one hand towards my face. Bringing an arm up to shield myself, I threw it out instead in panic when I slipped out of his grip.
Keeping me dangling with one hand tearing the back of my shirt, Alowyn started to sag from the weight.
As we dipped towards the ground, he dropped me onto my back so he could swoop down and use the momentum to slam his feet against my stomach.
My breath was blown from me in a warbled cry. I felt my stomach crush somewhere into my spine. I swear I felt something pop under his feet, and then ripple hot waves of nausea along my throat.
Trying to lift my broken arm, it howled in fiery pain and refused to move. With only one to protect myself, Alowyn ripped his claws across my chest and down my legs when I kicked out at him to try and shove him away.
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Now on top, I slashed at his arms shielding his face. I snatched onto it to pierce my claws through, using the opportunity as he yelled out to squeeze my legs around the sides of his body so he couldn't throw me off.
"HEY! HEY!" Adrian shouted "BREAK IT UP!"
Alowyn snarled and I hissed. We kicked and clawed at each other, tearing off fabric and skin.
Blood flecked across Alowyn's face from my arm. More clung to my lashes and face from our wild movements flinging it around.
With Alowyn under me, and my nails buried deep into his arm, I felt the snap inside of me.
At first I thought he had rammed his knees into my ribs and broken something. It hurt around there, but it wasn't from him.
It was me. It was the side I only hid in my dreams.
Alowyn wasn't a bird of prey. He couldn't hurt me the way I could hurt him. He was nothing underneath me, so why was he the one making me bleed so easily?
Why was he better?
Snapping my teeth into his arm, Alowyn shrieked and instantly tried to shove my head away with his other, leaving himself open.
My head slipped from the movement, lodging into the gouges I had created and peeling against his thick skin.
With every push, I fell deeper. Blood spilled now, over my mouth and around my hand forcing his down to keep it in place.
He grew desperate, kicking and bucking to try and throw me off. I growled, snapping for the hand that went to shove my broken arm instead.
My teeth split through the top easily. Alowyn bellowed and rolled, crying when he struck my leg to stagger me.
"AVERY!" Adrian shrieked out.
He was frozen just a few meters from us. His eyes were wide with shock and fear, trembling at what he saw.
Behind him, others crowded the doors. Their faces weren't important to me. They were nothing in this decision.
I turned to Adrian, the blood stringing and splattering over my chin and to the ground. It was burning my mouth and heating the breath panting from me.
All I could taste was my dreams. It was just like that. Just like when I gutted Adrian in the stands.
Locking onto Alowyn's panting stomach, my eyes traveled instead to the hand he cradled.
He glared, snarling at me. Taking a step forward, I knelt down on his stomach to push the breath out of him. It trembled as it struggled to breath around my weight crushing it gently.
"I don't need both my arms or wings to be like you" my voice gurgled down to him "I understand it all."
The preciousness of flight and life. The fear of anything stronger than could cut it short. The need to flee, right when it seemed like all was lost. The taste of blood from a fresh kill....
Alowyn's tearful eyes gazed up at me. They lingered on my face before moving to my open mouth panting over him.
The voice that left it wasn't mine. It was thick with blood and hungry for more.
"I care" I glared to him "but I need you here."
He slowly nodded, wrapping his hand around my leg in a silent beg for freedom.
I lifted it and smiled as he gasped in a deep lungful of air.
That was a lovely sound. It told me I had won the fight and the power to overrule Alowyn's decision to leave.
As I stood over his side, Alowyn heaved himself to sit up. Grunting and groaning, he tried to lift himself up but faltered when his bleeding hand made him bite in his breath.
I held out my bloodied hand that his eyes lingered on. After a moment, he grabbed it, almost dragging me down when all of his weight lifted himself upwards.
Now, he loomed over me again. The win felt dampened by being so belittled so quickly after it.
I heard the doors slam open and hit the sides of the building.
Turning our heads, we saw Bruce had shoved his way through the crowds and was standing there, eyes bulging in absolute fury.
I think there was even a bit of spit dribbling from his lip.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" he screamed at us "YOU TWO! IN MY OFFICE, NOW!"
Alowyn glanced to me. There was a little nervous smile on his lips. I returned it, letting him lead the way.
He smothered his torn hand with his fingers to try and stop the flow. Blood trailed behind him that I stepped around as I tried to keep up.
"What the hell was that?" Adrian hissed to me as he slid up to my side "you didn't have to bite him like that!"
"Yeah, well, he listened, didn't he?" I smirked back.
Adrian scowled at my casual demeanour, pausing as he frowned at me.
"Hang on. Look at me again."
"So you can tell me off more?" I scoffed and refused.
He grabbed my face and forced me to look. His eyes ran over me as he grew more concerned.
His fingers poked at the corner of my lips to try and pry them apart. I grunted out and slapped his hand away.
"What are you doing?!"
"You don't feel that?" he asked as he grabbed onto something up near my hairline to tug it.
Was that...?
My face dropped. He released it and nudged me forward so we could keep up.
No-one wanted to be near me. The faces that were nothing before were all judging me as they shuffled out of the way and whispered after us.
Adrian slipped in and the door was shut, sending us into darkness and silence.
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It was nice to have it quiet again. Snapping my focus on the little light ahead, I saw the side of Alowyn's pained face illuminated as he guided himself and Bruce with his phone light.
Adrian pulled out his own to do the same. Between both groups was just a void of nothingness.
No-one spoke. The air was filled with the sharp scent of blood. I think it was staining the floor I walked over after them. My shoes would trail it through the building if it kept up its steady pace.
We hurried to not make it so obvious we had fallen behind. Coming right behind Alowyn, our light was snapped off as the main one inside spilled in.
Vinnie was at the bar again, wiping the glasses lined up on trays beside him. Elgress was beside him to help lift and slide them into their hanging sections.
He went to greet Bruce, possibly just to stay on his good side, until he saw the state of Alowyn. Panning across, he spotted me and gasped behind a raised hand.
Bruce glared and he quickly dropped his head to keep cleaning. I saw his eyes glancing as Bruce started down the other hall for his door.
"Oi!" he whispered to Adrian "what the fuck happened?"
I stopped with him, unsure of what to do now that all eyes were on me and my bloodied face.
"Keep going" Adrian pointed "I'll be here."
I quickly left to rush up to Bruce's door that was already open. He stood there, scowling that I hadn't been following.
"Get the fuck in" he snarled as I was doing just that, ducking around his imposing frame meekly.
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Alowyn stood opposite Bruce's desk, waiting. I did the same, keeping a bit of distance between us.
The door was slammed loudly, making us jump. My eyes darted to try and find Bruce. I averted mine when I found him rounding the side of his desk to toss back the rest of his drink and hand the empty glass to Alowyn.
"Put that under it" he jabbed a finger at the blood "you're getting it all over my floor."
He did as he was told. It dribbled into the glass like a fine wine.
It really did smell good mixed with the alcohol.
Instead of laying into us, Bruce just sighed and pulled out his phone from his drawer. Scrolling and stabbing with more huffs and grunts, he turned his chair on us and slapped the phone down on speaker.
The whirring unnerved me. It snapped me from the blood and to the obnoxious noise drilling in my head.
"Doctor Hassain speaking."
"Doc!" Bruce roared out, putting on a smile so it could be heard in his voice "how are ya?"
I swear I could hear a little sigh on the other side. I smirked to Alowyn who tried not to laugh.
Bruce spun around now so he was facing us and the phone. Our smiles dropped to seriousness once more.
"What can I do for you now, Mr Peterson?"
"Ah, well" he let out a little laugh "it's about my birds again "your favourite one, Avery."
The sigh was audible this time. There was a groan too.
"He hasn't broken his arm again has he? I told you to keep him off it for thirteen weeks!"
"No! No!" Bruce chuckled again in his cheerful voice "still following orders, Doc. He's gone ahead and attacked another one of my performers. He's bleeding all over my floor, the poor thing."
"Avery or the other one?"
"The other one" Bruce looked to Alowyn now, snapping his fingers as he thought "what's your name again?"
"Alowyn, Sir" he replied with a little bend forward so his lowered voice could be heard.
"Owl Wing!" Bruce called into the phone "big bloke, I'll tell ya! Can you come in and patch him up for me? I'll even pay that call-out fee you talked about last time."
"It's short notice....again" the doctor grumbled "I've got another to patch up at one, and a stitching at one-thirty. Did you decide on the neutering and defanging as well? I could knock them all out at once; for a fee of course."
My gut clenched at the mention. I had never asked Tawn about the snake in the roof or found out it's name for him to determine how safe it would be.
I'd been right beside him earlier too, right before Lumi was sacked and Sasha quit in solidarity.
They stormed out and he disappeared. It didn't seem like the right time to ask. I had Alowyn to think about at the time.
"I sacked the dogs, so there's no need for that" Bruce waved it off with a cheesy grin "and I've still got to get that info for you about the de-fanging."
Another sigh. I could feel the doctors disappointment through the phone. It felt like it was aimed solely at me.
He relied on me and I let him down.
"Is Avery there?"
Bruce's eyes flicked to me. I stared at him, waiting for him to answer.
He didn't. I had to.
"Uh, I'm here" I leant like Alowyn had "hello."
Hello? That was so stupid. What a dumb thing to say.
Cringing, I resumed my position.
"Did you find out about the snake in the roof for me? Ask your friend?"
"The snake in the roof?" Alowyn mumbled to me, turning to the phone, raising his voice "Ezra or Silera?"
"Do you know which is which? I'm after the name of the Blue Belly. Got a big black head, brown body and black spots."
Alowyn thought, humming.
"Sounds like Silera. Ezra doesn't have brown. She's quite large. I think Balae said she was a Collosal."
The doctor inhaled sharply.
"Take me off speaker" he demanded immediately "TAKE ME OFF SPEAKER!"
Bruce dived for his phone to fumble with the screen. The doctors voice cut out, but I could still hear it screaming at Bruce about not mentioning the sheer size earlier.
Bruce waved us off angrily as he turned back around to ignore us, trying desperately to defuse the furious voice. Alowyn looked to me then back to the desk, unsure if he should take the glass with him. After getting no response, he just looked at me before being the first to leave with the glass.
We shuffled out the door and just stood there awkwardly.
His eyes trailed up to where Adrian's had before. He had noticed the little feathers too.
With him right in front of me, I saw his had grown a little more jagged. There were more peeling down into a widows peak.
"You changed" he pointed it out.
"You too" I commented, making him focus on my mouth.
"Smile for me."
Snorting at the demand, I did so. Alowyn tutted and only moved when I stopped.
"That explains how you made me bleed so much."
Confused, I followed as I ran a finger in my mouth. Feeling little points at the ends of my teeth, I felt my breath catch and my eyes grow wide in shock at the new feeling.
He noticed and smirked back at me.
"Sorry" I cringed.
"I've dealt with worse" he shrugged it off "honestly, it was good to blow off the steam."
I chuckled back, realizing I still had his blood stained over my chin and coating my mouth.
'Blowing off steam'. Sure, this was it.
He grinned instead of holding a grudge. What a weird, fascinating guy he was.
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We continued down back to the bar where Adrian was leaning. Vinnie and Elgress were chatting to him, along with another woman with wild hair shaved at one side who was promptly pouring a drink.
A snake stood off to one side awkwardly. They were young and had their head dipped to the phone they held.
The other woman almost choked on their drink when she saw us enter, slapping it back down to thump her chest.
"I thought you guys were Bruce for a sec" she choked out, coughing and snorting more as she took in the state of us both "what the hell?!"
"It looks worse" Alowyn replied while leaning against the bar "the doctor will be over to patch me up around two."
"Damn" the snake commented as they leant over to peer at the glass of blood "did Bruce do that?"
A male. Young and curious. Most likely part of Tawn's group.
"He wishes, Baby Cheeks" Vinnie rolled his eyes back.
The snake looked bashful at the name, turning back to the phone with a little smile.
Vinnie fished out some paper towel and smothered the top so he could quickly tip a bottle of water to wet it. He handed it to me to try and clean off my mouth.
"You are friends with Silera, right?" I began as I wiped "I think she could be in trouble."
This caught his attention. He lifted his head to me, tilting it slightly.
"What kind?"
"Defanging kind" Alowyn replied simply, accepting his own wet paper to wipe up one arm "Bruce was set on it, but the doctor is screaming at him because it's too much. Balae won't like it."
"You're friends with her?" he questioned further, thinking "well, you're a bird, so that would make sense. Sounds like we all have links to them up there."
Alowyn nodded. I remained silent.
If it wasn't to do with the main stars, I was stumped. I only just figured out the birds only recently too. I hadn't gotten as far as making friends with them yet.
"I'll let Tawn know" the snake dipped his head to start messaging "and the others can tell it to Ezra. My Heshier isn't great."
Elgress watched him tapping away. When he was done, he showed the phone to her to get her approval before sending it.
Why? Because he wasn't sure of how to deal with it himself?
He still looked young enough to be not so sure of himself. Maybe an older figure checking his decisions was what made him feel safer in his choices?
Still, it was odd.
"Don't forget the little snake hat icon too" Elgress pointed with a laugh "he'll love that."
Vinnie let out a laugh, instantly agreeing and urging the snake to do it.
The snake snorted as he promptly jabbed one in and sent it.
They really were such a tight-knit group. It made me feel a little left out that the only one I shared anything with like that was standing right beside me.
"Do you think he'd be good to see me now?" he lifted his head towards us "I've got something he needs to see before the show."
Alowyn and I peered back at the hall, grimacing. Adrian's head followed.
"Maybe later" Alowyn replied "he's a bit heated up at the moment."
"Ah" he just shrugged "I'll try later then."
It mustn't have been too important if he gave up so easily. I wonder what it was?
Looking to Elgress and Vinnie, the snake gave a polite smile. He even returned the wave the other woman stretched up to him before hurrying up the stairs and out of sight.
If anything, he looked embarrassed.
"Funny kid" Vinnie commented "don't get a lot of people coming down to just order a glass of water."
"Maybe those types can't handle their liquor?" the woman pondered.
"Have you seen Tawn slam back a drink?" Vinnie scoffed back "dude drinks like it's water!"
"Really?"
"Oh my God! Next time he comes here, you just watch. He likes the strong stuff after dealing with Bruce. Hell, I would too if I had to stand there and listen to him yell at me so often."
Elgress seemed uncomfortable at the mention of Bruce. Her eyes met mine before they hardened. I was the intruder in their little group, unwanted. They were already talking like I wasn't here.
"Shouldn't you be going to have a shower or something?" she flicked a finger to me "you'll scare people looking like you've murdered someone."
"Can't have you making my bar look bad now" Vinnie added with a cheeky smile.
Glancing to Alowyn and his glass, I pitied the man who wouldn't have the same luxuries I did here. He'd have to make do with crude water wipes as he waited for the doctor to come and stitch him up.
"Come on" Adrian pressed a hand to my shoulder "let's get going."
"Go through the back of the stage" Elgress added "you'll come across less people that way."
"And keep your head down!" Vinnie added when we hit the stairs "for the life of you!"
Alowyn stayed behind. Knowing he couldn't go anywhere until the doctor arrived, he sadly silenced the alarm ringing from his phone and accepted more wipes.
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"Are you ok?" Adrian fussed when we made it back to my room and quickly locked the door.
Getting back had been a hurdle. With curious onlookers came gossip. Those who saw me trying to sneak through backstage wanted to stop for a chat; trying to get a glimpse of my face I hung low.
Luckily, nobody tried to stop us. It was more of a morbid curiosity rather than a genuine concern for my wellbeing.
The only one who did care was sitting on my bed while I hurried for the bathroom to peel off my torn clothes.
Seeing the gouges Alowyn had ripped through my shirt and pants, I saw they lined up with the ones gouged through my skin I hadn't noticed.
It looked like I had been mauled by some sort of wild cat. They didn't look like the claws of a bird at all.
What a waste of good clothes too. It wasn't like I could easily go out and grab more.
Sighing at the loss, I dumped the scraps into the sink and reached over to turn on the taps of the shower to heat it up.
Focusing now at the mirror above the sink, I saw the little feathers sprouting through my head to meddle with my hair. Peeling up the side of my lip, my sharpened teeth looked almost fake at how tiny the points were on the ends of my otherwise natural ones.
"You alright in there?" Adrian called out.
"Fine" i sighed at my mouth and the way my points flashed when I talked "I look like a monster."
"You're barely any different" he replied.
A smile formed. It disappeared when I looked down at my claws soaked in blood.
Had they lengthened too? I didn't remember them being this long or pointed.
"Did I....?" I began to ask, stopping for a moment "did I sound different to you?"
Adrian didn't reply immediately. I wasn't sure if he had heard me.
Poking my head around the bathroom door, I saw him force a smile at me from the edge of the bed.
"Well, it wasn't your voice you have now" he tried to play it off without concerning me further.
Ah, so I wasn't imagining things. The wilder side was more rough, in all ways possible.
Disappearing, I left the door open a crack to filter the stream billowing up to the roof. Stepping in, my body felt like it melted under the heat rolling over my tacky, stained skin.
It was so nice. Even if it was scalding, it was warming me to my core and licking away the coldness I didn't know had blanketed me.
The soap made easy work of cutting through the streams of blood running down my legs. It stung and burned the cuts, but cleaned the grime around them.
It was a combination of fresh linen and mudded rust. It was a soothing smell that wafted up with the steam.
I couldn't reach my back or around my stumps. I could feel the water burning at something there, but was unable to see how bad the damage was.
I hadn't targeted Alowyn's wings in the fight. Knowing that's what he relied on, it felt taboo to stoop that low, even in a brawl as bloody as ours.
But, nothing like that mattered when the snap happened. If I hadn't of come to my senses and let him breathe, would have I shredded them?
There were no rules out in the wild. It was kill or be killed. We weren't going to go that far for a fight for power, but I wouldn't doubt I would have crippled him if it didn't stop when it did.
But, I had overpowered him. He knew who to listen to now. I held my claim as a bird of prey proudly.
Smiling again, I felt my chest puff up at my victory.
Adrian wouldn't understand. He only saw it as us brawling over a disagreement.
It was so much more than that.
If Alowyn won, he'd have free reign to do what he wanted. He'd listen to me but wouldn't have to follow instructions he didn't want to. He'd become unreliable and hold a standing over me I wouldn't be able to have until I snatched it back.
Birds of prey automatically had a higher status higher than others. If a lower bird took the place, it would be more than humiliating. It'd upset the balance of the others who worked here.
I had kept the peace, my place, and my pride.
A little croon ran up my throat, almost making me laugh. I hadn't made a noise like that since I was a baby, expressing my love for my parents as they lovingly caressed me.
"That's a noise" Adrian's voice had a smile in it.
His was almost a laugh too.
"I'm just happy" I bubbled, attending to my feet to make sure the streaming blood wasn't staining them.
I heard him move closer and give a little knock on the door to make sure I knew he was there.
"You gave me a bit of a scare back there."
I cringed, hiding in the stream as I looked to the outline of the door.
"Sorry."
"I know it's you and your instincts, or calling, or.... whatever it is, but you had me worried."
"About being hurt?"
Adrian tapped the door, stopping.
"About....you know....making things worse."
He mumbled it out. Sighing, he remained out of sight.
"I care about what you do" he explained "I don't want you having extra bits cut off you."
I smiled at his concern and promptly reached over for the nail clippers to get started on the monstrous claws.
"I don't think he has anything else to cut" I chuckled.
"That's not the point" he grumbled, barely above a breath "it's just..."
The tapping came again and I peeled around the corner at it.
"You want to come in?" I offered jokingly.
He wouldn't. We weren't even that close for him to be seeing me naked yet. We had only just recently shared a bed and bonded over food.
"Only if you want?"
I almost sheered too close to my wick. Pulling my nail free, I just gripped the tiny clipper like a lifeline as my heart thundered and my face burned from a mixture of the hot water and flustered expression searing into it.
Was I covered enough behind the little glass partition? He wouldn't be able to see anything through the steam?
Should I face the door, or face the wall? Seeing arse was probably safer than seeing my dick and balls right now.
Oh my God. Adrian was going to be looking at me.
"Ah" I swallowed down the nervousness "s-sure."
The door inched open. I turned at the sight of it and heard Adrian let out a little cough.
"It's so fogged in here!" he complained, waving an arm to try and clear it.
"Well, I've got a bit to clean" I replied, hoping he wasn't going to approach closer.
I returned to my nails, glancing to the partition I saw the distorted figure sit on the other side of.
He was using the toilet as a seat so he could still be close enough to talk to but not so close he was in the shower with me.
What would I do then? I'd have no escape. He'd be right there, being saturated as his eyes looked me over.
Would he be impressed? Or only concerned for everything else? Would he....laugh?
Cupping my flexing dick in shame, I shuffled to face the wall now, lathering up as an excuse to be in a position like this.
"You'll dry your skin out, being so hot" Adrian commented "you don't want to be like a cooked chook."
Snorting out, we both shared in the amusement.
"How bad is it?" he worried.
"Well..." I turned to try and see "i don't think it's too bad. He really could have worse around the ba..."
I saw Adrian's eyes looking in, assessing me; lingering. Seeing me freeze up, he quickly grew flustered when I cried out and turned back around.
"I'm sorry!" he blurted "I thought you were still facing the wall!"
I pressed to it now, feeling shameful tears burning at the corners of my closed eyes. The tiles were cold against my chest, ribs and dick, hiding me.
He saw. He saw me like this! I wasn't ready for that!
There was a little snort. It turned to a giggle he tried to muffle.
"You're laughing at me!" I whined, biting my lip to stop the tears from running. They did anyway, mixing with the water still pounding over me.
"No! No! It's not you, honest!" he insisted "I was just picturing the birds at home with dicks like yours. It's..." he paused to snort again "I've never seen a bird with a dick before."
Whining, I shuddered against the tiles.
He was humiliating me. He was making fun of something I had no control over.
"Avery" he soothed "it's not you. I'm just thinking of stupid shit. It's me. I shouldn't have laughed."
He snorted again, clearing his throat when my whine turned to a little sob.
"Avery."
"No" I scowled at the tiles "you're being an arsehole."
He sighed. I heard the toilet lid slap as he lifted from it.
"Avery, it's not the end of the world."
He was right there. He was looking right at me! I couldn't hide!
It wasn't like that I thought. This was far more humiliating than a fantasy.
"Avery, it's ok" Adrian spoke "it's a dick. We both have one. It's nothing to be so ashamed of."
"I'm ashamed you saw it" I mumbled from the tiles "and that you laughed."
He sighed at me again. I heard rustling of clothing and a zipper being pulled.
Clothing hit the floor. Instantly, I burned at what that meant.
"Look, I'm not ashamed" he said "turn around. It's only fair, ok?
I huddled, refusing. The cold corner wasn't big enough to swallow me up and make me disappear from all of this.
"I shouldn't look at you like this!" I blurted, scrambling for excuses "it's not right!"
If I did this, our friendship would be over. We'd be more. Maybe it'd be less. He was doing this out of obligation, not a want to.
I didn't want to ruin what we had. I was terrified he'd slip away and put of my dreams as well.
"Avery" his voice dropped "it's ok. You're going to make me freeze standing here like this."
That made me snort. I heard him grin back, breathing out.
Slowly, I peeled myself from the tiles. Standing sideways, I reached down to cup and cover myself as I shuffled around to lock eyes with Adrian's.
Don't look. Don't do it.
But it was right there. I couldn't help it but glance down and marvel at how similar it was.
Was it bigger? Smaller? It had a little patch of hair above it. Mine usually had little feathers instead that I tore out. The sheaths made it resemble an ugly disease before they sprouted. Luckily, they hadn't grown in that far yet.
His was....nice. It looked simple; skin pulled over all the way down into a crinkly bit at the top.
Was that normal?
"Should I laugh too?" I smiled from it to him.
"If you've never seen a human with a dick, go for it" he replied calmly "maybe it's weird for you too."
"Not really" I mumbled, letting my hands fall "it's weird you are doing this."
He grinned back and shrugged.
"It's only fair we are both sharing the embarrassment" he burned through the smile.
Dipping my head, I bubbled up at the comment. Glancing again, I lifted my eyes to his and jerked a thumb to my back.
"I've got something back there I can't see. Can you....?"
"Oh! Sure!" he agreed and pulled up his pants to fumble for a bit before leaning over to grab my towel for me.
Turning off the water, I just stood there, dripping.
This got another glance.
"Thanks" I burned again as I took it to wrap around and tuck in like a skirt, finally covering myself.
"Suits you" Adrian commented when he let me walk out to the area in front of the sink "you could pull off a kilt or even those fun skirts with sashes that the foreigners wear."
I giggled and felt Adrian's hands touching my back. I shivered from the coldness, twitching as it moved to press somewhere near my blade to seer pain into it.
"Ok, that's a deep one" Adrian tutted "you've got a long cut along here" he traced near it from my shoulder blade to a few centimeters off my bottom ribs "and a few shorter ones near it."
He traced those too. They weren't as deep or long, but they dipped over my bent spine.
Ok, so that was manageable.
Turning, he inspected my front and sides, frowning and mumbling when he saw them.
"You're very lucky" he concluded "the doctor might want to stitch up the back one though."
Instantly, I recoiled. The last time I had presented him my back, he had been hacking at my wings.
I knew he couldn't take them again, but the fear was still there. There'd e nothing to stop him from plugging in and taking my stumps too, or gouging around my spine to stop me from leaving completely.
"You'll be there with me?" I whimpered.
My hands grabbed onto his. I hadn't cut down all of my claws yet. The large ones wrapped around to trap him in my grasp.
He picked them up one by one, smirking.
"Of course. I'll be right outside, like always."
"Promise?"
I didn't want to be alone with the doctor. He had been good to me, but the thought of needles being stabbed along my back again had me whimpering with nerves.
I was on the edge of crying. Sniffling at him, Adrian only reached up to wipe my eyes so I didn't try to with my nails still so long.
"I'm here for you" he smiled "ok?"
Nodding and trying to smile, I saw his thumb rub supportively over the back of my hand as he carefully clipped the rest of my nails.
With a hand in his, he helped guide me into the bedroom so he could pick out a fresh pair of clothes for me. Returning to the bathroom as I changed, he came back with the old ones hanging from a hand.
Cringing at them, I was about to direct him to throw them out before he moved past me. Lifting up one of the folds in the blankets rolled up on my bed, he turned to me.
"These are precious, aren't they?"
The tears returned with the smile. Nodding, I wiped my eyes at his understanding.
He stuffed in the bottoms at one section, then climbed in so he could find another for the top. With them properly buried with the other items, he turned to me proudly to wait for my approval.
Climbing in with him, I pulled him close and nestled my head into his shoulder as his arms slowly wrapped around me as well.
We stood there, unmoving. I didn't want this to end. It was so comforting and warm. I didn't know how good a simple hug could feel until I had my arms wrapped around someone I cared for.
"Thank you."
I felt Adrian swallow and let out a breath as his head rested on mine.
"No, thank you" he murmered back.
ns 15.158.61.51da2
