Watching all of the birds gather together, I knew how doomed they would be.
I wasn't going to watch whatever Bruce had planned. If he decided to continue his power-trip, I wasn't going to linger in his eyesight.
Tawn had stood up to him. If he wanted to get back at him, he'd go through me.
I had more important things to think about now.
Turning, I went to leave until I heard a little spitting noise from above. Kind of like a leaking hose almost.
Squinting towards it, Nisha hung off the ladder to extend his arm towards me, holding a single bottle bag.
"Hey, so, I'm sorry for, you know, calling you a..."
He saw my scowl and glanced to the bag.
"Sorry" he only muttered, leaning out further to make sure I saw it.
Reaching up, I grabbed it and looked inside.
Well, it wasn't a drink. That was disappointing.
But, there was food. My gurgling gut clenched at the sight of the fancy chocolates wedged in sideways.
I had finished my last piece of bread this morning. It was the crusty butt bit too. I was absolutely starving.
My plan had been to fill myself up on water, pretending it was vodka, so I didn't feel the gnawing in my gut. This was a much better option.
Grinning, I reached in to slide them out, just to make sure it wasn't some cruel trick.
Seeing they were the real thing, I frowned at the white lid of a container hidden below it.
Body lotion? Some sort of makeup?
Hooking my nails around it, the brand was lifted up when I maneuvered it upwards.
Sobolderm.
What the fuck? Was this a joke? Was he trying to make me look bad with all of these people here?
I didn't pull it out. I dropped it back down where it could remain hidden and looked to Nisha for an explanation.
"To help your condition" he smiled.
It was a nervous one. He had every damn right to be hesitant of giving me such a thing.
But, did that mean he thought I was human? Why else would he be giving me something so specific otherwise?
He wasn't making fun of me?
"Do you...like it?"
"These" I held up the chocolates "very much so. That..." I wrinkled my nose down at the bag and saw how worried Nisha looked when I did.
The bastard outed me so publicly and now he was trying to make it all right in the same way.
Why couldn't he just pull me off to the side and do this somewhere private?
"It's ok."
"It is?" he breathed a sigh of relief "oh, good. Lumi said you wouldn't like it."
"Well, she isn't completely wrong" I smirked.
"Oh" his smile fell "I get it. You're just being nice."
"Yeah."
Slipping the chocolates safely back in the bag, I turned to head off again.
"El" Nisha called as I started to move from him.
"What?"
I turned back around to see he had left the ladder and was standing nervously before me.
"Did you want to go for that drink you said we would?"
The one I used to lure him away with?
Now I was the one feeling guilty and hesitant.
All of this mess was because I let my hunger get the better of me.
I could play along and let him make it up to me. Squeeze a few drinks and meals out of him.
"I could go for a water."
"Water?" he followed me as I wedged through the crowd and weaved around the stage.
"Nisha, it's too early to drink" I reminded him.
That and the fact I no longer couldn't. Now that I was counting the days, I wasn't going to take risks I could avoid.
Maybe I could talk to him about the chandelier while we were playing friends? That or I could mess up so badly that he'd be forced to revert back to a one man show.
As soon as I started inching towards fifteen days, I had to make sure I was staying firmly on the ground. I'd be developing a rounder gut. As usual, I'd pass it off as my period and severe bloating from endometriosis. It wouldn't be significant enough to look like anything more, and men generally seemed hesitant to pry when a period was mentioned.
This was the fourth day. Already I was running out of time.
Sliding up tho the bar, Vinnie was already pulling out two glasses for us.
"What a mess" he muttered to us "what will it be?"
"Water."
"Same" Nisha agreed.
"Make that three" Vinnie agreed and poured himself a glass "cheers to not being bitten by giant snakes or killed by whatever those are out there."
He jerked his head to the stage and I agreed, clinking my glass to his and Nisha's heartily.
The first one that had swooped down was so confusing.
Was it some sort of pelican heron? A mutated stork?
Whatever it was, it unnerved me to be near it.
"Good to see you two back on talking terms" Vinnie smiled to us both "did you like the present?"
Of course he knew about that.
I just finished my glass and slid it to him so he could fill it again.
"It was ok."
Vinnie grinned. He looked like he was trying not to laugh.
"Actually, could you leave the bottle?" I turned to him "I've got some things to discuss."
Vinnie left it, still lingering as he drank.
"Alone" I pressed.
He got the hint and sauntered away with a cheeky wave.
Nisha watched him leave, leaning in close.
"Look, I talked to Tawn" he muttered "and I'm cool with keeping your secret safe. I don't mind pretending."
Leaning back a little from the shock of what he was saying, I glared down at the stupid smile he had, like we were friends or something.
Deny it. He's probably probing to see if his hunch is true.
"Don't know what you are on about."
Taking a sip, I kept my hard glare on Nisha.
If Vinnie caught just a snippet of our conversation, I could kiss my easy life here goodbye.
"It's ok" he pushed "I'm on your side."
He reached for my arm. Immediately recoiling from him, I got up from my seat to put it between us.
If he felt how freezing I was, it'd be over.
"Don't come near me" I snapped to him and threw back the cold water quickly "don't make up silly ideas about me."
Keeping a firm grip on the bag, I made sure to give Nisha a wide berth on my way around.
My heart was hammering when I heard him leave his glass and try to get out of his chair.
Hurrying, I weaved around the people still interested in seeing what Avery was being forced to do. I ignored it, powering in panic onwards.
"Elgress!"
Shit. Why wouldn't he leave me alone?
I kept up the pace, darting and dodging the crowds to scurry to where it was safe.
The golden stars glowed. Sanctuary was close.
I tucked my arms across my front to prevent Nisha from snatching onto them. Gripping the little red strings of the bottle bag, I could feel my breath catching from the fear of knowing I was being pursued.
Nisha could move quickly. He could reach places the others couldn't. What's to say he wasn't already snatching at my back to try and get me to stay?
Panicking now, I ran.
Bolting down the hall, I didn't care who saw me barge into Tawn's room before I threw my back against the door to block it with my weight.
Dropping the gift to the floor, I fumbled for the lock. I breathed a sigh of relief when it snapped out, only mere moments before the knocking started.
"Tawn" I whimpered to the bed he was hidden within "I need your help."
"Elgress?" his soft voice lifted from under the sheets to gaze up at me "hey, what's going on?"
He had been crying. His eyes were bloodshot and his usual fiery self was miserable and withdrawn.
I glanced back to the door and he followed it, sitting up now. Rushing to him, I felt the nerves and fear choking me.
"He knows. He said he spoke to you" I blurted out, trying to hold back the tears already blinding my sight "he's trying to grab me to prove it. I don't want him to know. He can't know."
"El" Tawn moved to the edge of the bed so he could stand up and hold me against his calming coldness "it's going to be ok. He's not going to hurt you."
Digging my nails into his back, I squeezed back and buried my head against his chest.
"Everyone else will find out. They'll know!"
Tawn gently kissed the top of my head and rubbed a hand over the back of it to try and soothe me.
"Come into bed and get under the sheets. You don't have to go anywhere you don't want to."
"But, the chandelier" I worried, feeling my gut drop "the show. I've got to perform with him tonight!"
What if he tried there? What if he confirmed it and all of the customers found out? What if Bruce found out? He'd take away my babies before I got paid. Maybe he'd line them up and choose the best one for himself like what he was doing with the birds now?
Choking through the image, Tawn lowered me down and gently left my grip so he could answer the door.
He kept his voice low when he talked. Nisha did the same, babbling out something in response.
When Tawn closed the door, Nisha didn't linger. He marched off on whatever task he had next as it was locked again.
I watched Tawn dip down to pick up the bag and bring it over. Peering at the contents inside, he was amused by both choices.
"Come, lean back" he smiled as he wedged in behind me with his legs spread on either side "take off your top so I can massage you."
Sniffling, I did so and clung to the crumpled shirt shielding my breasts.
I heard the lid of the tub screw off. The foil was pierced so he could scrape up some and rub it between his hands to get more coverage.
His cold hands pressed below my shoulder-blades. Running upwards, the cool cream glided effortlessly.
"My poor Elgress" Tawn leant towards me "don't cry."
"I'm just over it all" I complained as I grabbed the chocolate to rip at the flimsy sleeve wrapped around it "he's getting too cluey."
"Nisha or Bruce?"
"Both!" I gasped with a wave of the ball I peeled open "what if they find out?"
Tawn checked the door then leant in to place a hand on my middle.
"They won't have a clue. You just keep doing what you're doing. You're perfect."
Leaning back to scrape up more cream, I felt him picking off scales so he could rub around my tense shoulder-blades again.
"What if they don't come out like I want them to?" I sniffled through the tears falling over the chocolate I bowed my head to "what if something goes wrong?
I had to prepare the nest and dig myself a little pit. Birthing in it, I could easily cover up the mess and have somewhere dark to lay out the babies as they arrived.
If only they came out in tiny little eggs. Live birthing several small babies was going to absolutely kill. I could feel the pain tearing through my vagina now from all the times before.
Breathing in sharply through the stinging, I felt Tawn return.
"I'm not looking forward to it."
"You just tell me when and I'll be there" he replied with a kiss on my neck "you're a strong woman, My Elgress."
My heart fluttered and I tried to smile as I sobbed.
"It could be during a show again."
Last time had been horrible.
I knew I shouldn't have been relying so much on Tawn when our partnership was purely a once a month thing, but he made it easier.
When I was crying and heaving through the tearing pain, it was easier when I had him by my side than the times I had to claw at the dirt alone, thinking I'd actually die in that ditch.
I wanted him to be there, but I knew it wasn't realistic. Tawn was a star. I was just the backup, not even that most times.
"As soon as I know, I'll be there" he rested his head in the crook of my neck "as soon as I can, ok?"
I nodded, trying to smile again.
"You're too kind to me."
"And you keep saying that" he smiled against my skin "and I'll keep telling you that you deserve it all. I do love you, even though all this."
He tightened around me and I felt the instant bubble of security from being held so closely.
"One day, we could just run away" he pondered "have a whole lot of children together and be happy."
"A whole lot of children?" I chuckled back "to actually look after normally? I don't think so."
He lifted his head from me and I felt his arms loosen slightly.
"You'd be an excellent mother."
"And I don't want to be one" I batted away the idea "I'm doing this for me, remember?"
He turned back to the cream to circle my back slowly.
"I remember."
I heard the misery in his voice. Even the way his hands pressed wasn't as enthusiastic as before.
"I'm sorry. I'm still up for running away and being happy, when we have money" I tried to lighten him up, but he was already sinking into self pity "are you missing your family again?"
He usually only had these thoughts after a particularly bad time with Bruce. He told me before that he used his memories with his mother to block out what was happening on that office desk.
"He tried to rape me again. Then he threw a glass at my head when I didn't let him and he got angry about the whole 'trying to hurt Nisha' thing. He wasn't happy about that."
"Tawny."
I turned so I was facing him and saw the tears running down his bowed head.
The cut from the glass had been cleaned out and gaped open, threatening to bleed again at any moment.
"I forgot my sister's name" he whimpered and held onto me when I hugged him "I couldn't think of it. I think I'm forgetting them."
"You'll never forget them" I lifted my hand to his cheek and felt his head lean into it "you just couldn't at a time like that."
"I want to kill him" his eyes grew cold when he stared back at me.
"And I want you to remain in one piece" I rubbed along the scales to bring his thoughts back to me "he'll get what's coming to him one day."
His eyes dropped in bitterness.
"Not soon enough."
"I agree with that" I chuckled, forcing a smile when I saw the tears still running "hey."
He lifted his eyes, holding onto my arm reaching over to wipe them.
"What's her name?"
"Evelyn."
Smiling, I ran my hand up over his bowed head and down to his chin to see his mouth pull up slightly.
"See? You couldn't forget her."
"She was the worst to try and beat at races" he chuckled "and she didn't even have legs."
I saw the spark in his eyes and hear the love in his voice. He ached for the family he'd never see again and desperately hoped for his own to pass that overwhelming love onto.
I was just holding him back.
"I doubt it was just her" I pushed to keep him distracted "what about the others?"
"You've heard about them" he dismissed me, turning his head.
"I want to hear about them again" I pulled it back to face me.
Gesturing for me to turn around, I felt Tawn's scales against my back as he held me.
Still topless, I grabbed for my shirt to keep my nipples from getting hard at his coldness. It'd only make my breasts hurt if they did.
"Mama had twelve others in my clutch. We were hatched out together."
I was always fascinated how Tawn had come from an egg. The sheer size of them made me wonder how his mother coped with so many at once.
The way he called his mother 'Mama' always made me feel warm inside. It was adorable he held her in his heart so highly.
And his Papa. He looked up to him like an idol. There was nothing but respect when he talked about the man who stayed to keep his family safe.
In actual reality, he would have only stayed because finding females out in the wild would be a lot more scarce than the pick and choose we had available here at work. He stayed to protect his rights, like what Tawn was doing with me.
Despite the options available, I knew out of Tawn's clutch only three of them had legs. The rest were Naga's like his parents. Many other clutches before and after him were the same. The legged ones were the minority; most likely deformities from where the tail had split while incubating. That or the fact there were legged snakes branching further down the family tree.
Mine was made mostly of them. Diluted each generation, I got the last that remained of the dormant genes. Smaller scales, cold blood, and tiny points on my back teeth. I was more human-facing than any snake that originally bred into my family. In a way, I was lucky I wasn't more obvious.
And now I was here, trying to breed the animalistic traits back into my bloodline while my family spent generations trying to hide it.
I was an only child. As soon as I was able, I moved out and jumped from job to job to keep a roof over my head in the rundown house next to the bridge I met my dealer under.
I don't think I had eaten a proper home-cooked meal since I was eighteen. I missed that most about being at home with my parents. They never skimped on the sides. I often wondered how they were able to do it while I struggled so badly.
As an only child, they could have managed much easier than Tawn's mother trying to feed countless children, let alone the collective thirteen including Tawn; eight males and five females.
Tawn said I would have liked his brothers. As a unit, I wouldn't doubt if he would have shared me amongst them, as snakes often did, if we were in different circumstances. He grew possessive if anyone else was mentioned, but his brothers; he held the same level of love for them as he did his sisters.
I don't think I could ever have eight mates. Tawn was more than enough to keep me happy. I would be flooded endlessly with children if there were more.
I was grateful we met in here. Out there, I hated to think what would become of me.
But, if I didn't produce a Naga, I'd have to start looking at the other options around me.
It'd most likely cause a stir amongst the snakes when I went to another to be mated, but I needed to find an end to this vicious cycle of producing things that looked like my tainted bloodline and not like anything of actual value.
They didn't know about that. They thought I was just another human looking for the thrill of being fucked by something dangerous. I could get what a wanted on the promise of not telling anyone what had happened. They'd get to pump whatever pent-up lust they had into me. We'd both get what we wanted.
And, to keep the peace, I'd come back to Tawn like I always did; think he was reclaiming me after a lesser male did. He'd mark me, but I'd already be growing the Naga's I needed.
Rinse and repeat until my chances dried up. Then I could move to the next and hope that Bruce hired more to keep up the cycle.
Tawn would understand. He had to remember why I was doing this.
If fights happened between the snakes, so be it. It'd only rile them up for the prize and benefit me.
But, we only had five snakes here.
Tawn was one. Luke and Levi were the others. Silera lived in the roof around the lights, and Ezra kept to the lights on the other side.
Out of the five, Silera and Ezra were the only Naga. Silera was female, which only left Ezra, who I knew full well didn't speak a lick of English.
I don't think I had seen him since he got the job a few years back. Although, I hadn't been keeping an eye out for him either.
Luke and Levi were young and most likely inexperienced. I'd have to find out about their bloodlines before making a move. Naga parents had the best opportunities for me.
But an actual one... Ezra was a good next candidate. I'd have to get past the language barrier first.
I didn't speak whatever language the wild snakes knew. Even Tawn didn't often use the tongue he had been born with.
"Do you ever worry you'll forget your natural language?" I pondered out loud.
"Heshier? It's kind of ingrained into me. I don't think I'd ever forget it, like my birthplace and family."
"You remember where you were born?" I turned around now, fascinated.
I knew mine only because my parents had told me and it was stamped on a birth certificate somewhere. But that was a hospital rather than the lands Tawn would have come from.
"Out in the wheat fields" he smiled "by the line of gum trees. There was a little creek not too far from it where we used to play and lay on the rocks. If you keep heading that way, you'll find it."
He pointed to the corner of his room near the cupboard. I was stunned.
"Its kind of like a pull deep down" he explained "it's meant to bring you back to your birthplace to continue on with your own family nearby. All the wilder hybrids probably have the same thing."
"I think it would be a bit weird if I was pulled towards the hospital bed millions of other women have given birth in since me" I shook my head, laughing "yours sounds much more peaceful."
"I'll take you one day" he smiled at me "when we run away together."
I felt my own form when I saw how thrilled he was.
"You know what? That does sound nice."
Wheat fields brushing gently in the wind and warmed by the sun. Maybe the leaves would rustled from the breeze too, and the birds would call out from within them.
The sound of the babbling creek would trickle under the other sounds of nature. Fresh, unpolluted air and soft clouds overhead would blanket the bright blue sky.
At night, there would be a light shower misting over the land. Or perhaps a distant thunderstorm we'd watch from our little patch safe from it.
That did sound nicer than hooning cars, toxic fuel fumes, and the screaming of another fight down the road.
Tawn rubbed the cream over my wrists, making sure to pay special attention to the one Nisha had torn up. Massaging it, his thumbs circled over the missing scales.
With my free hand, I peeled and crunched on chocolate, offering Tawn some which he politely refused.
"You need them more than I do" he plucked up the one I offered to feed it to me "I don't want you going hungrier than you already are. I've got money in the cupboard in the same box up the top of you want it. It'll get you a few more meals until your next pay."
I knew where it was. I had dipped into it a few times, but I knew Tawn was paid much less than I was.
Still, I couldn't refuse it. I had only a bare fridge and cupboards waiting for me at home. I didn't even have electricity to cook anything now. There was no point in trying to refuse it out of kindness.
"Are you sure?"
"Would I be offering if I wasn't?" he stated "i'd rather it be used on you than me. I can wait for my silly things. They aren't as important."
Slipping my shirt back on, I was up and heading for the box.
Checking that Tawn wasn't going to suddenly change his mind, I wedged it down and peeled back the flaps to see an abundance of notes and coins collected there.
Why was there so much? Didn't he use it on anything else?
I knew he had a bit from last time I dipped in, but I never thought it'd roll over into something this substantial.
It made me seethe a little, knowing the letter for my power being shut off sat on the fridge beside a threat of eviction while he was just throwing it into a box so carelessly.
"With the money, why don't you grab your usual loaf of bread and butter and bring them here?" Tawn offered as he got up from the bed now so he could rub the cream smeared across his front into his scales "I'll make you a nice bread and butter pudding."
Pulsing with a fifty in my hand, I saw his warm smile meet my trembling lip.
"You don't have to..."
"How hard could it be?" he chuckled as he approached me to fish through the box and pull out another fifty while shelving the rest "take two nights worth. Get the nice bread, ok?"
Choking through the tears, I nodded and hugged him.
I could actually eat because of him. I wasn't going to be drinking myself to sleep on water and tears.
I don't think I could squeeze my graciousness through him hard enough.
"Thank you."
"No, thank you" he returned the hug and rubbed my back softly "you don't have to cry because someone decided to be nice to you."
"It's embarrassing" I admitted as I talked into his scales "I should be doing better than I am. It's...hard."
"And I get that" he sympathized "but that's why you are doing all of this."
I could feel my middle pressed into him. Suddenly aware of the attention on it, I pulled away from him.
"I just need you to keep up on your side of the gene pool."
"Oh, is that so?" he scoffed out a laugh "I'll try my best."
Quickly pocketing the two fifty dollar notes, I was suddenly paranoid of losing something so precious.
I didn't want to hand them back either. I wanted to keep it close so it wouldn't have a chance to go missing if other sticky fingers came wandering.
"You've still got your little brick on you?" Tawn asked when I sat back on the bed to pull the chocolates back over.
My phone. It was a tiny thing that was so ancient I was surprised it worked. I had bought it at a post office on special. For sixty dollars, I gave up on several meals just so I had a way to communicate with the outside world.
I usually kept it at home. There was nothing exciting that happened for me to be glued to it while here at work.
Tawn had one similar. His did boast a coloured screen and access to the internet though. He kept it hidden in his pillowcase so he could message me late into the night if he felt like it.
"I'll send you what you need" he followed me to lean over and dig out the mobile "it shouldn't have that many ingredients in it. It's bread and butter, right?"
Shrugging, I just ate my way through the delicious hazelnut chocolates while he looked it up, frowning.
"Vanilla, cinnamon, bread, butter, milk, cream, sugar" he muttered as he typed it in "and probably a baking dish too. I doubt you have one of those."
"You doubted right" I commented "I don't even have an oven."
"There's a tiny thing out the back that has an oven setting" Tawn spoke mainly to himself as he continued to type "we can use that. No-one does anyway. Did you want custard with it? Or something like maple syrup?"
I really wanted cold custard over the pudding, but, realistically, my fridge didn't keep anything cool. I doubted the ones here did much better. Maple syrup would be the better option if I kept it here; ants would drown in it if it was left in my cupboard at home.
"Maple."
"Good choice" Tawn's eye glinted as he added it to the list.
Smiling back, I focused back on the chocolates to try and fill the void.
"Now..." his eyes darted to somewhere over near his bed "I don't want to be that person, but you should probably leave. Go and grab some takeaway to eat. The show won't be on for quite a while and I doubt you want to strain yourself practicing something you already know."
He didn't want me up there. Now he was trying to make it sound like it was my idea all along.
But the opportunity of food was too good to pass up now that I had money to afford it.
"I think Lorrie is on her way" he urged me to hurry up "and I can't explain to her why you were in here again after last time. It's making its way directly here."
"Alright" I snorted and collected my bag of treats "I'll get out of your hair."
Stroking the scaled head, he rolled his eyes at me and gently guided me for the door.
"Eat" he urged me as I shuffled out and watched him close the door.
Smirking at it, I made my way back for the front.
Climbing down to the bar, I saw Vinnie there, rearranging the bottles by colour.
"That slow?" I commented as I pulled up beside him.
He turned and groaned.
"You want to grab something to eat?" I jerked a thumb to the door "walk around the corner?"
"Walk?" he dismissed the idea immediately"I'll drive. Where are we going?"
Where were we going? I hadn't thought that ahead. I was just so hungry I was numb to what I wanted to eat.
"That bitch Lorrie came through with Fasties" Vinnie commented, thinking "grab your shit, we are going there."
"Fasties?" I blinked back "that's out of town!"
"Did I stutter?" Vinnie leant over the counter and looked down at my bag "that's all you've got?"
"My costume is in the dresser" I looked back "this is it."
"Honey" Vinnie tutted and slid over the counter to avoid having to walk around "we need to get you a proper handbag."
"And you would know the one, right?" I retorted as he walked ahead to the door.
"That is such a a stereotype and you know it" he pulled it open for me, coming behind to shut us in darkness "you know full well I don't own a handbag."
"I've never been to yours" I replied as I headed for the light "so you could have a whole closet full for all I know."
"Elgress and her sharp tongue" Vinnie remarked and tutted "you're a bitch."
"And so are you, whore" I smiled when I opened the door for him.
"Don't wear the name out, Sweetheart" he teased as he walked ahead and shimmied a little back at me, grinning.
I followed, smirking at his antics.
"So, how much do you have?" he pulled to my side so we could match speed "I've got about thirty."
"Oh, a.... hundred" I muttered.
He leaned over to look at me, stunned.
"A hundred? I heard that right? The music hasn't made me go deaf now?"
"Yes" I pushed him away "for once, I have more than you."
"For once! FOR ONCE!" he whooped "more like forever! How on earth....? Hang on.... are you washing out of a bucket again?"
Sizzling under the embarrassment, I scowled back at Vinnie.
"I told you that one time!" I snapped through gritted teeth "and no! I'm not!"
"So, who did you fuck to get that cash?" he eyed my bag it was stashed inside "we both get paid the same wage and I know full well you suddenly haven't won the big one mill."
Still burning, my heart skipped a beat.
Did he know? Or was he just being Vinnie?
"Is it Nisha?" he teased, moaning out the last vowel of his name "oh, Nishaaaa."
"Oh fuck off!" I snorted "I am not fucking the monkey."
"But he gave you such lovely cream" he batted his lashes back "and you love cream."
Laughing when I shoved him again, I shook my head at his goofiness.
"Oh, is it Tawners?" he gasped and saw me burn up again, gasping and coming close to drop his voice "are you? Is he?"
"I'm am not fucking Tawn" I scowled again, feeling like I wasn't as convincing as the first time. My hands were shaking worse than usual.
He heard my tone and looked straight at my hands, unconvinced.
"I'm not!" I insisted, balling them into fists to try and control them.
"Yeah, sure" he sniggered "you're as red as a dick tip."
"Eww. What the fuck?" I laughed back.
"So, does he have a head?" Vinnie chuckled "like the statue?"
"A head? No! Who the fuck has a head on their cock?"
"HA!" he shouted and pointed "I knew it! How would you know? How would you?"
"Vinnie" I groaned as he gloated and refused to listen to me "Vinnie! No-one has a head on their cock! I'm just saying!"
"From experience" he added slyly.
"Do you think I'd be alive if I fucked him?" I grumbled to his smile "think about it. He'd crush me the moment I got near him. He's a snake. He's venomous."
"Yeah, but you're special to him" Vinnie twirled a finger "he'd make exceptions."
"Well, the moment we do have sex, I'll come tell you all about it" I spoke bluntly.
Vinnie grinned, chuckling.
"Oh, you'll come alright."
"Bitch!" I laughed out and tried to slap him across the shoulder as he darted away.
"Got to be quicker than that, Cocktail Shaker" he teased.
I rolled my eyes at his playful jest, groaning when we passed yet another parked car.
"Are we walking there?" I complained now "I already walk here from home. I don't want to walk anymore."
Seriously. My legs felt like two planks of wood. I was walking on needles everytime I had to crawl myself back home after a long shift. Now I was using them again, I could feel the static tearing through my soles.
With the power off back at home, maybe I'd have to stay with Tawn tonight? Use his shower, charge my phone, and handle all the gross rats?
My skin crawled just thinking about it. The way they crunched when he ate them made my stomach churn.
Still, he was a snake. There was no use telling him off for something that was natural. I was just being sensitive.
"I don't want people seeing the shit box I drive" Vinnie saw me struggle past more cars "I've got a standard to uphold."
"Like you would ever drive anything better than a pile of scrap."
Vinnie held his heart, hissing through a breath as he walked backwards to face me.
"Right here" he clutched it "oh, my feelings."
"Oh, ha ha" I retorted and motioned for him to turn around.
He did so and pointed ahead triumphantly.
"There it is! See? It's not that far!"
Turning back, I could only see the building we had come from peeking over the tops of the trees lining the roadside.
Vinnie opened the car and quickly leaned over to throw a pillow and blanket onto the backseat.
Getting in, I felt the immediate heat difference burn across my body. I melted in the warmth, grateful for it while Vinnie blew out his breath and complained. I also noticed l he also had a black garbage bag stuffed in the space behind me.
The car smelled like he had been sleeping in it. It has a certain old, cozy warm scent to it that only being snuggled under a blanket could achieve.
The fake bubblegum scent tried to hide the smell.
"Aren't you sleeping at home anymore?" I asked while he started up the car.
"Well, Wanky Wallace decided to call me a Faggot six times last night, so I wanted somewhere quiet and away from his usual tirade of 'gay this, fag that'" Vinnie rolled his eyes and wrinkled his nose in disgust.
I had never met his dad, but the stories Vinnie told me made me wish I was venomous so I could hurt him.
From what I knew about Wallace, he was a real 'traditional' bloke, in the sense that men were the tough ones and they should only be on this earth to find a woman and fight their way through anything that stood in their way. A real homophobe, an absolute cunt of a father.
"He couldn't even get 'Cumshot' right" Vinnie scoffed and pulled us out onto the road "he kept saying I was making a 'Bubbly Blowjob' so I said he was one."
"He wouldn't have liked that" I grimaced.
"Well, it was funny for a while" he smirked and shrugged "can't hurt a man's ego more than saying he sucks dick for a living. The worst thing ever."
Vinnie scoffed again, focusing on the road.
"There's some people you wish would just disappear forever" he muttered bitterly.
"I hear you" I agreed.
My dealer was the same. They blamed me like I had some hand in the process of shaping the babies I gave them. They didn't seem to realise I had to physically grow and birth them one by one and rely on sheer chance to be given something valuable. To them, it was all about the best product. For me, I only wanted the money they guarded so close to their chest.
They were so stingy, but I had no-one else to go to. It had been by chance I even found this one when they were doing other deals under the bridge I spied from my window.
If they just disappeared, maybe my problems would go with them.
I was in far too deep to pull out now. I was already risking everything to continue doing this for so long. The first time had been great. Now, two years into the secrecy, I was stretching my luck thinner and thinner.
I even had them saved in my phone as a money bag, just in case someone was snooping and questioned who the 'Stacey' in my life was.
A funny icon was easier to joke away than an actual name.
Vinnie reached over to switch on the air conditioning. Instantly, I felt the blast hit the warmth that I was still trying to soak in.
I couldn't create my own body heat being cold-blooded. This boiling car was my only source until now.
Grumbling, I forced a smile and thankful comment as he sighed at it.
"It may be trash, but it sure gets cold quickly" Vinnie grinned.
I agreed as I felt the heat sucking out of my soul and my hands return to the violent shaking.
I wedged them between my legs.
"Getting worse?" Vinnie glanced.
"There's a lot of traffic" I commented "it gets worse when I'm stressed."
"I'll get us there in one piece" he reassured "don't you worry about me, Baby Girl."
Smiling at his kindness, I tried not to focus on the cold as he drove.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTJBMs7iIQ
Finally pulling into the Fasties parking lot, I was able to enjoy just a few moments of the heat again before being plunged into the air-conditioned nightmare inside.
Seeing the poster advertising the bargain of one dollar burgers, we made a beeline for the self serve machines to order twenty, as well as two large drinks, and snatch up a table
Nestled down, I could feel my energy draining rapidly. Holding my head up with one hand, I blinked and grunted my way through Vinnie's chatter until food arrived on its tray.
Smashed together and looking like they had been trampled out the back of the kitchen, it was the best sight I had seen.
Vinnie immediately peeled the cheese from his and smeared the sauce onto the wrapper. All he had left was the flat meat patty and a pathetic four, maybe five, small cubes of diced onion.
In disbelief at the waste, I quickly added the cheese to mine and groaned gratefully when the tangy taste of the tomato sauce hit my tongue.
The meat was just cheap jigsawed pieces scraped and mashed together. It was a basic flavour not much different to pepper, only without the satisfying burn.
The cheese was also the nasty stuff that resembled plastic itself. It has a sort of taste to it that reminded me of the fumes at a petrol station. Toxic, but still yellowed enough to be passed off as cheese.
The onions were the saving grace. With only a shake on each burger, there wasn't much going for it.
But, it was one dollar. I literally couldn't complain about the quality. I was just grateful enough to have something in my twisting, sickened stomach.
"You know what you should do about your money problem?" Vinnie spoke through a mouthful "you should just buy a van and throw a mattress in the back like what Rhubarb Jam does."
"Like who?"
Biting into my food, I watched him fish out his phone and unlock the Clocked app. Flicking through the campy songs and people dancing, he pulled up the saved video on his profile and slid it across to me.
There was the wail of a violin and a woman sitting in the back of a van, overlooking a sunset over the mountains. It cut to her cutting wild lavender and smelling it before twisting the stems into a crown to wear.
Her white dress flowed out around her. There were little flowers printed on it. Her ginger hair curled perfectly in the breeze.
"What a load of shit" I pushed it back "it's fake."
"Yeah, but, the same idea could work for you" Vinnie beamed "why not just get a van and go? What's keeping you tied down to this shitty town and Paragon's? You can literally use the money you'd save from electricity and water and rent to buy a car and travel. She does. She's got two kids too; Strawberry and Fig."
"She does not" I let out a laugh at the absurdity before Vinnie scrolled again and pushed the phone back to show me the woman marvelling over her food-named family.
"Obviously her real name isn't Rhubarb Jam, but you get the concept. You could save a fortune."
"Why don't you do it then?" I pushed it back again "you've got all her videos saved by the looks of it."
Vinnie grabbed his phone and swiped off the app so he could pocket it, taking another large bite.
"I'm thinking about it" he said, smiling when I laughed "serious. I've just got to get a car that fits a bed in it. Sleeping in the seats gives you such a backache."
"Right, and you'll have two kids called Bourbon and Whiskey who dance in the grass while you make wine from the juices of horse shit."
He almost choked on his food. Snatching up his drink, he cleared his throat so he could tut at me.
"No, I'll find my man out there somewhere. Did you know Rhubarb found hers on a farm? Their fates met but she wasn't destined to stay with him."
"So she slept with him and left?" I pointed out "a one night stand?"
Who was I to judge so harshly on this internet influencer? I did the exact same thing out here. Only, my life wasn't perfect violins and beautiful sunsets.
I seethed inside. That was unachievable and it made me bitter to see how someone else could have it all so easily.
"Well, I think it's romantic" Vinnie pouted to me "I'm still waiting for my strong man to come through the doors at Para's. I'll serve him a drink and we'll get to know each other better at his place."
"If he doesn't roofie you first" I muttered, sipping my drink.
"You're so negative" he whined back "crushing my dreams like that."
"I'm being a realist" I retorted and pointed my drink at him "how many nice people have come through those doors? They're all seedy; looking for skimpy girls to watch and sexy waitresses to serve them. I worked the bar too, I've seen it all."
Vinnie huffed, unwrapping another burger and peeling out the cheese to hand over to me.
"One can dream" he muttered as he wiped the sauce off.
"One can dream" I agreed as I finished mine and went for a second.
The air conditioner was really slowing me down. Unwrapping the second burger was a chore and I almost lost most of it trying to slap the extra cheese into it."
"You right?" Vinnie asked in concern now "you're shaking again."
"I'm just cold" I smiled back "it's fine."
It really wasn't. I needed something warmer to curl around before I was completely drained into sleep.
"You know what?" Vinnie rose up from his seat when I took a shaking bite and forced myself to chew "we don't have to eat all of these now. Why don't we head out to yours? We can watch a movie and have a few drinks before we head back."
"Yeah.... about that..."
"Did you lose power too?" he almost whispered, looking around to make sure no-one heard "El. You should have said something before I made you buy all this!"
"It's ok" I insisted "I'll just use the... fridges and.... showers at....work."
Fuck I was tired.
Yawning, I saw Vinnie rush over to ask for a paper bag from the young server so he could scrape the burgers into it.
"You need sleep" he insisted "you are exhausted and pushing yourself too hard. I'm taking you home for a nap."
Grabbing my arm, he helped me from the chair.
"Fuck, you're cold" he shuddered against me "you sure you didn't just slam a few too many back?"
"It's too.... early" I muttered back as he pushed out into the heat.
Instantly, I could feel it seeping into my scales. Staggering across the parking lot, Vinnie kept an arm wrapped around me that I clung to gratefully.
Savouring the heat, I was lowered back into the car. With the cold air trapped inside, all the crucial warmth was torn from me in an instant. Even the seat offered none.
"Take my pillow" Vinnie reached over to grab it and press it's coldness against me "get some sleep on the way home."
He passed over the burgers I wrapped my arms around, and nestled back into the driver's seat. Instantly, his fingers reached back for the air conditioner to turn it on.
"Not that" I reached over to snap it off.
"You can't sleep properly in this heat" he replied.
"I need the heater on" I looked to him.
He was confused, looking around as if a reason was floating around somewhere.
"You've got to be kidding! It's about thirty degrees out there! Actually..." he checked the dashboard "thirty-two. It's getting hot in here, El, I'm putting it on."
Without the cold, the outside temperature was heating the car nicely. I kept my hand over the buttons as I tried to take it in.
Vinnie reached over again, determined on his precious cold. If he got to it, there'd be nothing to save me.
"I'm a snake!"
Vinnie paused. I felt my heartbeat stop for a moment as I tried to register what I had just blurted out.
"I'm a snake" I repeated to confirm with myself, peering desperately at him.
Vinnie started to laugh, thinking it was all a joke.
"Yeah, right" he reached over to try pulling my fingers up "you'll say anything to see this fine body sweat."
"I'm not joking" I insisted as I pushed his hand away and saw him slowly lean back in the driver's seat "look."
I held my gouged wrist up to him to turn it. Under the sun and right next to him, the shimmering scales were more obvious. Digging a nail under one lining the edge of the gap, I held it out for Vinnie who gave me his open palm. Wedging out a few more up my arm, I proved the first segment shape hadn't been by chance. They were all real scales with the same typical shape.
"I'm cold-blooded" I explained when he picked at the scales in sheer disbelief to flex them between his fingers "I can't be in the cold."
"So...." he started, pausing to think "hang on, these are real? The colour's not some fancy body shimmer? The one that smells like a tropical island?"
I shook my head as he sniffed the scales in his hand.
"Can I touch?" he eyed my arm.
Holding it out for him, he ran a hand against the scales, jumping back at the feeling.
"Fuck!" he gasped "those really are scales!"
"You can't tell anyone!" I begged him "I'm trusting you with this because you are my friend!"
"Fuck" he breathed, glancing to me "fuck me, he really was telling the truth. You really are a snake? You're not fucking with me? Seriously?"
"Last time I checked I was still one" I grimaced back "please, Vinnie. I want to just still be me at work. I don't want this getting out."
"Ok..." he turned to face me now, passing back the scales hesitantly and lacing his fingers together to bring to his mouth "who else knows about this?"
"Tawn" I started "Nisha, and you."
"Avery?"
I shook my head.
"Nisha wasn't even meant to find out" I stated, feeling the guilt resurface that he had because of my actions "and neither were you."
"But you told Tawn right up?" Vinnie frowned "the biggest, venomiest snake in there?"
"He found out himself. He can see heat and sense the differences. He would have found out if I told him or not."
"Fuck" Vinnie breathed out, looking me over "fuck! This is a lot, El!"
"I'm sorry!" I whimpered to him as I felt my gut clenching from the fear of not knowing what he was going to do next "I just need something warm."
"Well, you always were cold-hearted" he quipped, reaching a hesitant hand out "promise you won't kill me?"
"Got no venom" I took his hand with a small smile "so I'll let you off the hook this time."
He giggled, running a thumb over the back of my hand.
"This is fucked" he marvelled at my scales "it's smooth one way but rough the other."
"I'm just lucky they are small, otherwise everyone would have found out much sooner."
"You had me fooled" Vinnie admitted "and I worked with you behind that damn bar. I just thought the aircon was making you cold at work and you just really loved glittery body spray. I had no idea."
"Please don't tell anyone" I begged again as his hot finger rolled a path over my hand "I'll pay you."
I slipped from him to pull out the change and hold out thirty dollars to him.
"Honey, no" he folded his hand over mine so I crushed it in my palm "how about we make a deal? You keep being your amazing self and I'll look the other way?"
"How about you help me out instead?" I offered "I have no power. I can't generate body-heat. I'm going to freeze tonight if I don't find something warm when I get home. I usually just stay under the covers, but it's getting bad."
Vinnie saw my shame and turned back towards me.
"How about this?" he breathed "I'll come to yours. We can go to the shops and grab some ice cream, snacks, and drinks. We'll smash down these burgers, bitch about the shit men in our lives, and go back to work. Tonight, we can have a little sleepover at yours. I'll rent a funny movie on my phone. It'll be fun."
"You'll stay over?" I frowned back, touched at the trouble he wanted to go to for me.
I was only expecting to leech from him for a few hours at the most. This was far more generous than I expected from him. It was making me tear up.
"Do I have anywhere better to go?" he smiled back and peered at the trash bag in the back seat "I've already got my bedding here. I'm set, Darling."
Sniffling, I hugged Vinnie who gasped out at the coldness against him.
"Oh! Sorry!" I began to pull back, but he clung on.
"No it's good" he held me close "you are kind of holding my aircon hostage, so this is nice. You're like a little ice pack."
Giggling together, we just held each other for a few moments. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks when I rested my head against his shoulder.
"Thank you."
"No, thank you" he muttered back "we both needed this."
Pulling away, I nodded. Vinnie wiped his eyes too, chuckling.
"When we get back, I want to know everything" he lightened up as he moved back into his seat to pull on his seatbelt, rolling the window down "you can't just spring this on a man and expect him not to be curious."
I reached for my belt to clip back in so Vinnie could get us moving again.
"Let's get home first, then you can ask whatever you want."
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sakadGxKF
Pulling out the front of my little home in the dead grass, Vinnie moved around to grab the burgers from me to I could carry my gift bag.
He usually just dropped me off out the front. Now that he was coming inside, I was ashamed at how I was living.
"It's not the best" I started when we crunched over the gravel towards the concrete slab stairs "it might be a bit dirty."
"It's better than mine already" he looked around at the bridge planted I've the road to my right and down to the massive building of decrepit units to the left "it's quieter."
There were sounds of dogs barking and kids wailing. Somewhere nearby, a car was burning the rubber on its tyres. There was bottles smashing and someone being shoved into furniture up in the units.
"Sorry" I grimaced when we picked our way to the peeling door and I left Vinnie to crouch down over an empty pot plant filled with dirt and rocks I dug my hands into to unearth the fake rock I popped the bottom out of for the key.
"Girl, that isn't safe" he watched me heave back on the door so it could unlock properly "or sanitary."
"It works" I commented as I slapped the dirt off across my pants "keep your shoes on."
The fight escalated in the units. There was screaming now of cheating. Someone was screeching for quiet further down.
"Come on" I gestured for him to move around me holding the door open so I could close it.
I didn't trust the area to keep it open. As wonderful as the natural light would be, I had to make do with what I had.
Locking the door and sliding across the loose bolt, I rushed to the right so I could tear down the blanket covering the window and let in some light.
"It's not much" I called, throwing the blanket over the couch, when Vinnie wandered ahead to the peeled board countertops that divided the room into a small kitchen "really."
"It is kind of small" he admitted as he stood in what was supposed to be a kitchen; just a horseshoe of shitty benching and an old scum-spotted sink in the middle sporting an unfurling iron wool scrubber. The microwave was jammed into the corner which still had my heat bag inside from when I had been trying to warm it when the power was cut.
I didn't trust the old cupboards hanging above the microwave and furthest left corner of the counter. One had a door that I had to keep popping back into place if I so much as breathed near it. The other didn't look stable enough to hold dishes. I kept those underneath the counters.
Straightening up the couch behind me, I threw the single crumpled cushion into the middle to make it look presentable. Staring back at the tiny twenty inch TV propped up on a milk crate, I was aware of how dire things looked. Even the nice wine bag didn't do anything to brighten the sad looking area.
There was a door at the other end of the house that lined with the front one. Vinnie pushed it open to see the land out the back swarmed in grass so tall it covered the tiny broken path I had to traverse to the crooked clothesline leaning pitifully to the side.
I didn't use it though. Everything was hand washed with a bar of soap in the kitchen sink and slapped over the railing around the stairs out the front of the house.
The bathroom door was to his left that he pulled open. Inside, there was only enough room to fit the toilet, a little bin, and a roll of toilet paper. There was no window and there was no light. I usually had to pee with the door open just so I could see.
Opposite that was my bedroom. You couldn't access it if the toilet door was open, and you couldn't open that if the back door was closed.
Vinnie didn't peer inside out of respect. Being the last room left, he must have realized which one it was.
Still, all he would have found would have been a mattress wedged in the upper corner closest to the door. I had three ripped doonas spread across it to try and desperately trap in some warmth. The two pillows were still the same ones I had when I moved out. Yellowed and stained with age, they were becoming lumpy and deflated within the ugly maroon pillowcases.
A bedside table I had dragged from the sides of the road was next to my bed, with a folded up wedge of cardboard box to keep it level. It was missing it's drawer. I used the gap to stash in a box where pads and pain killers were kept. My phone usually lived in there too when I wasn't using it.
Across the bottom corner was a rail my clothes hung on. It too was a broken thing that was levelled out with a stick wedged into the holes the rungs notches into. It didn't even have wheels anymore.
I didn't want him to see that. He was already looking so pitifully around the shell that should have been a house.
The whole thing was caked in the cheapest cracked, peeled, stained linoleum. I could hear the sticking of Vinnie's shoes with each little shuffle or movement he made around.
Coming back to the front, his eye caught the tiny bar fridge shoved into the corner of the counters, facing the wall beside the front door I had tried to liven up with a dusty fake fern and massive laundry basket with wads of duct tape around the handles to serve as cushioning.
The fridge had such a lovely baby blue colour, but it barely got cold. The miniscule freezer section in the upper corner inside the fridge didn't even work. With the power out, I had created a fort of towels to soak up the water that leaked from it. On the front of it was a calendar I used to circle my mated days and expecting days. In-between was just a sea of red crosses.
Towels were the only thing I had an abundance of. I used them to wrap my babies in to lay them inside the laundry basket and walk them down to the bridge. Towels were cheap and easy to fish out of op shops when people threw them away so often when they got torn or stained.
Vinnie saw the calendar. He moved around to place the stained burger bag on top of the fridge so he could reach down and inspect it in his hand.
"Are you counting down the days until you get out of here?" he tapped the page "you really should think about that van. It'll be good for you after seeing this."
"Maybe" I just muttered back, too nervous to take my eyes off the calendar he still scrutinised.
I didn't write on it. I only circled the important dates. It was still obvious I had something planned.
"What's on last Friday?" he smiled, flicking up the page to see where I would have circled again "you've got it once a m..."
Stopping suddenly, he promptly placed the calendar back on the fridge.
"Period tracker?" he asked, looking around the house again "did you need pads? Tampons? A hot water bottle? We can go get those right now if you want?"
I shook my head, chuckling at his concern for my well-being.
"I just need you over here" I patted the couch I sat on.
He grabbed the bag to bring it with him, falling into the divit in the middle of the couch that squished us closer.
Laughing, he leaned back so I could lay down beside him and cuddle into his side. He rested there, one hand rubbing over my back while the other ruffled through the bag for food.
Already I felt better knowing that I was going to be comfortable sleeping peacefully through the night after work rather than dragging my aching body through the door and literally collapsing onto my bed to shiver through tears until I was too tired to feel the self-pity anymore.
Vinnie was radiating sweet warmth. I didn't care how it looked, I only wanted to feel his skin burn against mine as I smothered myself to his side and laid my head on his chest I snuggled into.
"Have a good sleep, El" I heard his voice smile back as I tightened in place and closed my eyes "take as long as you need, Darling."
"Thank you" I mumbled back as I could feel myself slipping away.
"No" he let out a little chuckle, moving his hand to run through my hair "thank you."
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