"It's broken."
"Broken?"
The doctor turned to point to the board on the wall beside him, running a finger over the darkness that cut straight through my arm.
I should have known. There was no way landing on my arm from that height wouldn't do some sort of damage.
"So, he can perform, right?"
Bruce lingered outside the truck, eager for better news, salivating for his money-maker to not be busted.
Adrian should have been there instead, but Bruce sent him off, insisting he didn't need to be with me.
He wouldn't be far. I just wish he were closer. Having the manager overshadowing every decision and movement was really dragging me down.
The doctor shook his head. Bruce swore and kicked the closest tyre of the truck in frustration.
"This boy needs rest and recuperation. Working with such an injury could disable him for good."
"Fuck" Bruce hissed, running a hand through his greasy hair "how long then?"
I sat there as the doctor looked me over and tugged down the X-ray to drop it into a plain white slip and hand it across the little table between us.
I leant over to give it to Bruce who huffed when it slapped into his hand, refusing to look at it.
"Thirteen weeks in a cast. No drinking, no smoking, no aerial acrobatics of any kind. I want this boy grounded for his entire time it is healing."
"T-three fucking months?! What am I supposed to do with this?" Bruce scoffed, gesturing to me "he's a star!"
"And I am the doctor" the doctor replied sternly "you've got thirteen other birds who are more than capable of learning. Three of them are birds of prey like Avery."
"There's really that many?" I gasped back, fascinated.
I hadn't seen them around. Then again, anyone outside of my little circle who helped me with my act or performed around it was unknown to me.
"Five snakes, Eight apes, Three echidnas, Six crocodiles, Two dingoes, Fifteen dogs, Seven cats, Eleven moths, and One platypus."
"A platypus?" Bruce scoffed.
He had completely forgotten about Lumi. Showed how much he cared about his crew.
"I'm sure one of those fine specimens can help take Avery's place. Make a new act of you have to, just don't put him up on ribbons anytime soon otherwise you and I are going to have some very expensive legal words with each other."
I smiled gratefully at the doctor who returned it. He had me lay my arm down on the table, tutting when I bit in my breath at the pain that shot through.
"Now, as for visits, I've still got to get confirmation and payment for the defanging of another snake and the neutering of two dogs."
"Dirty bastards" Bruce shook his head, sneering "caught them fucking under the dining area last week!"
Holding my breath, I choked down my laugh.
"Dogs display dominance in different ways" the doctor said simply, pulling out sheets of padding to fluff up and lay under my arm "they will still continue to mount each other even after the neutering. I suggest separating the males into different areas of the building, perhaps?"
"I'll just fucking sack them" Bruce grumbled "teach them to fuck on my watch, dirty pricks."
The doctor sighed while I still tried not to laugh.
"I've increased my prices for defanging too. You failed to mention the last one was aggressive and venomous. I can't put my life at risk because you can't identify your variants, Mr Peterson."
"Oh, yeah" he replied back meekly "well, how was I supposed to know? They all look the same to me."
"What colour scales does the new one have?" the doctor asked as he slid over to his bench and pulled out a drawer of elastic bandage "and I'm taking that it's not an adult."
The doctor chose a pink wrapping, much to the obvious disgust of Bruce.
"It's some brown thing with black spots on it. Has a big black head. Works the lights."
"Legged?" the doctor asked as he pressed the end of the wrap to the cotton and began to wind it around my arm.
"Nah, it's got this fucking long tail on it. I just let it sleep up there. Haven't had a mouse problem yet."
"Well, unless you have a smaller snake problem or lizard infestation, I wouldn't worry about it eating mice. Sounds like you've got a Spotted Black; Blue Belly, on your hands. It's very venomous. Male or female?"
"I haven't checked, have I?" Bruce retorted "I just leave it alone. Things fucking huge."
"I can ask Tawn to see" I offered "if it's a snake, he'd know."
Did all snakes like each other? Would he even know who I was talking about?
"As soon as you find out, you tell your manager, who will inform me right away" the doctor snapped out at Bruce, cutting the rest of the wrap away.
The pink really was bright and beautiful. I could feel Bruce seething behind me at it.
"What, you gay or something?" he quipped immediately, sighing in frustration "just my fucking luck."
"You won't even see it. The cast goes over the top."
"It's not pink too, is it?" he demanded.
"I can make it pink if you don't pay me my price increase" the doctor retorted "and for such a quick visit for this one."
This one. I was inconveniencing him. Wrapping and casting my arm was probably the last thing the doctor wanted to do right now.
"Sorry" I mumbled.
"As long as you don't rip off my fingers, we are fine" he chuckled "you hybrids always have such interesting urges. I assume it's the same for birds like yourself?"
I stayed silent. I wasn't going to tell him I was desperate to fly again or that small, scurrying things made my mind only think about tearing it apart.
Being so high up on the ribbons, everyone was a small scurrying things. It was a good thing everything other than the stage was so dark when I performed.
Still, speaking openly about these feelings would only have Bruce trying to tear them from me or find a way to use them against me.
He held my contract that rules my life. He could do whatever he wanted with me. I couldn't leave if I wanted to.
"Must be" I eventually shrugged "I don't know."
"Avery is civilized. He's not some freak who eats dead animals off the road" Bruce scoffed back "how dare you say he's like those feathered fucks."
Was he actually defending me? I was flattered until I realized it was only because he had me on such a pedestal that, to him, I was better than anyone else. He had made me better, and to insinuate I was an animal with natural needs was to insult his hard work and sacrifices.
I snorted at the thought. What had he sacrificed? His own freedom? As far as I knew, he chose to sleep in his office. He wanted to make sure we had no chances to plot behind his back.
The doctor just raised an eyebrow and wheeled back over to pull open another drawer that held strips of packaged plaster.
He reached for a bowl above the bench, finally leaving his wheeled chair to walk to the back corner of the truck and fill it with water.
"This will take about twenty minutes to properly set" he spoke up to Bruce "leave Avery with me so you can get back to your work."
"But the kid..."
"He's not going anywhere. I'll send him back in as soon as he's done."
Bruce grumbled, glaring at me before slowly moving away. I watched him shuffle back to the door and gesture that he was watching me as he disappeared inside.
Turning back, the doctor placed the bowl between us and picked up his scissors to cut the plaster strips into it.
Bruce was gone. I could be open with the doctor now.
"I want to tear things apart" I blurted "I want to throw myself off the roofs to fly again. I have dreams about clawing open his face."
"Oh, I dream the same thing" the doctor chuckled, still snipping "these are natural things to feel for someone like you."
"I want to eat raw meat" I confessed "and chase something down to kill it. Nothing big like a person, but something small..."
"Like a bird would?" the doctors eyes flicked up to me "all natural."
"Even when I'm up above them all? Sometimes I just want to..."
I clawed one hand and smashed it into the other, cringing when I saw the doctors face go blank for a moment.
I didn't have a sharp beak, but in my visions, my little teeth were as sharp as razors when I pulled up the flesh of a customer I dug my claws into. My wings were full and ready to take flight. The roof of the building didn't exist. It was just me, my kill, and the bright afternoon sky.
Sometimes I was alone. Mostly, Adrian was there, waiting from above for me to provide him with my kill. For some reason, he had wings like mine. We were two flashes of white and black in a clear sky.
He'd accept it and we'd twist down towards the ground in a grand display just like my performance. Then, I'd try to overpower him. I'd rip at his feathers, pinning him beneath me.
Burning now, I lowered my head at my intrusive thoughts. I usually ended up killing Adrian in a mess of stringy guts I snapped up, or we mated each other, still amongst a flurry of feathers from us tearing at each other for control.
I wasn't about to spill that to the doctor. It was far too embarrassing to admit that some days I wanted it a little too badly. Adrian was a dear friend, and as far as Bruce knew, that's all he would continue to be.
Maybe this broken arm was what I needed. I could focus elsewhere when I wasn't forced to put my display on others for some show. Throwing it out there for others to gasp at, thinking it was part of my routine only demeaned it.
Adrian had seen me perform many times. The meaning of it being special had gone long ago. It was an empty gesture now that I was sure he wouldn't take as anything but part of the show.
Maybe that's why he reacted so strongly in my dreams? Because I knew he wouldn't in real life, unable to tell the difference between courting and performing?
The doctor continued to soak and plaster my arm. Blissfully unaware of my turmoil as I watched.
None of the others thought about their handlers like this. I was sure Nisha wasn't holding himself from taking Lumi or Tawn was tormented about trying not to mate Loreen, or even Elgress.
They were in control while I let my emotions rule my dreams. It was shameful. If Adrian found out, he'd be disgusted.
"You're a Black-shouldered Kite" the doctor finally spoke up "a bird without wings is going to want things it can't have, like flight and hunting from above. I think acting on these things could be good for you."
"G-good for me?" I choked out, in disbelief.
He wasn't going to try and stop me? He heard the part where I wanted to kill customers, right?
"Obviously, don't go..." he mimicked my clawed hand and struck his other, laughing "do it with smaller things. You have snakes and other birds in there, surely they are getting live prey to resist these urges? Why don't you talk to your manager about getting some for yourself? I'm sure he'd be happy to help."
My gut bubbled and I looked away to try and hide my shame.
"They'd laugh at me."
"You are a Kite" the doctor spoke seriously now "if you need something like this to stop you from doing something much worse, and much more illegal I dare say, then let them have a laugh. If you explained it to them, I think you'd find they wouldn't be as bad as you imagine."
There was no way I could share this information with them. Wanting to kill customers? Having urges of leaving? Being mated by Adrian? God no. I'd rather let it fester than share something so private with someone who would joke about it with someone else.
"I'll give it a go" I smiled back.
"That's a good boy" he smiled too, finishing up the casting "to and sit in the sun for a bit. You've got to let it set up. Hold it like this."
Bending my arm back towards myself, my arm was curved across my front, putting my weakness clearly on show.
"You'll have a sling too" he continued, rolling over to loop out a length of thin white cloth "it'll give you more support to help stabilize it."
Listening to the wheels of the chair run back, the doctor lifted himself up and unfolded the fabric to show me.
"You'll put it under the cast and tie it around your neck" he explained, moving behind me "you'll have to put it under your wing here to stop it from moving."
My gut stabbed. Something in my chest heaved at the mention of the things I was missing.
"Stump" I corrected him.
I wasn't upset with the doctor. Bruce had been the one to make the call that having wings was too dangerous for him. He was the one who paid the doctor to numb me up and cut them off out here. I remember the others had watched. Adrian held onto me when I screamed and wailed the whole time. There was no pain, but I could still feel the weight being lifted as they were cut free. Each sawing motion moved me to crippling tears, begging not to take them. Promising to do anything if I could keep them.
Then, when they were folded into black trash bags, I was stabbed with more injections and bandaged up. I couldn't do anything but scream out tears. With everyone trying to comfort and quieten me, I refused it all.
Those with their own wings hung back. They saw what Bruce had done and weren't willing to put themselves anywhere near me in case he targeted them next. They scattered in fear.
Adrian was there with me. Bruce was being his usual self, joking about not having to worry about being weighed down anymore. Jeering that I wouldn't be stuck in a doorframe or hallway. Snorting that he was doing me a favour.
Adrian boiled at every joke thrown at me. When his arms left me, it was only so he could storm over and barge through those who tried to hold him back, punching into Bruce's face.
Before he was torn free, Adrian had been promptly fired. With Bruce bleeding, the jokes stopped. Disappearing inside, the others had reluctantly followed, leaving me to sob over the loss of my best friend too.
In protest, I refused to perform. Flogged into submission, I deliberately messed up my routine or gave one so lacklustre and devoid of energy that customers questioned the ethics of the show.
In Bruce's office, I gave him an ultimatum. Rehire Adrian or I'll continue to mess up and incite anger from the customers. Some were already rioting over the loss of my wings, until Bruce squashed the rumours that they weren't real to begin with. Some bought into it, some didn't. Videos circulated, trying to debunk his words. It got very messy very quickly. I had to come out myself to defend Bruce's lies so that we could continue to make money. Everyone would keep suffering greatly if customers kept boycotting the show.
I knew Bruce couldn't fire me. I signed a contract that said I was his. He refused to let me go, so I worked my way into that loophole and fucking owned it. I got Adrian his job back where he could continue to be happy at my side.
Adrian didn't spread secrets. He was a good listener and gave advice when he could. He was willing to defend me at any cost, made sure my part in the show was perfect, and put my needs above his own.
He was the only one I could count on. But, even so, I burned with shame every time I thought about what I wanted us to be behind the show.
"Avery" the doctor called, snapping my head around to his voice "you coming?"
He was outside, holding the door open for me.
Embarrassed, I pulled up from my seat to drop down beside him.
"Sorry. The whole wing thing still cuts deep for me" I muttered.
"They were beautiful" the doctor nodded, understanding.
I felt tears sting the sides of my eyes that I wiped away with a forced smile.
"They were."
Glorious and white, no-one else has ones like them. Each one has its own patch of black underneath at the curve that Adrian told me looked like eyes from way above.
I was so proud of them. Some days, I felt like Adrian admired them more than he admired me; that I wouldn't be interesting enough to keep around without them.
But I knew that was wrong. I was just insecure by being portrayed as a fierce bird of prey every night when I felt like the disfigured seagull people fed out of pity.
I walked over to the entrance where the doctor leant, fumbling in his pocket to pull out a pack of smokes.
I looked to him, seeing his sly smile as he placed one between his lips.
"Do as I say, not as I do" he laughed, lighting up to take a drag and sigh "want a drag?"
He offered it to me and I peered down at my cast to remind him of what he just said.
"Oop, right" he snorted "you're a smart one."
Still huffing and puffing, I eyed the entrance. Right there, where that line was, was where the gate should have been. It was open for our performers to access. It wouldn't be closed until the show was over.
I stepped a foot over the line, grinning down at it. Dragging the other across, I grinned back at the doctor who watched, blowing a plume above him.
"You doing a runner with a busted arm?" he commented "that's not wise."
"I just want to stand outside" I replied, looking up at the trees ringing the col-de-sac and the cars parked nearby "you know, doing what my impulse are saying; like you said I should."
"Well, I did say that" he agreed "but don't stand too close to the road. I can't have a lawsuit because you got crushed by some lunatic."
Chuckling, I backed up and stood by the doctor, inside the line.
"Better?"
"Much, Smart Arse."
Ruffling up my hair, I giggled at him. He laughed back, dropping the butt of his smoke down to crush it under his shoe and scuff it aside.
"Well, since you're just setting, I'll see to it I get my invoice paid" the doctor grinned "straight through and down the hall, right?"
"That's it" I nodded.
He took his leave, waving when he disappeared down the hallway.
Letting my smile drop, I peered back up at the trees longingly.
To be up that high again....
"Avery!" Adrian called, rushing towards me and snapping my focus from the trees "how was it?"
He saw my cast and grimaced, jerking a thumb.
"Bruce isn't taking it well either. I think he's trying to drown himself in his office. He might actually be crying real tears."
"Maybe he'll choke on his tears then if the drink doesn't get him" I joked, laughing with Adrian.
"We can only hope."
He leant next to me, looking up where I had been.
"The van bringing back memories?"
I shrugged, trying to avoid the more thrilling feelings of flight itself.
"You know" I mumbled "it's not like I can do it anymore."
"Well, I wouldn't want you to leave me behind" Adrian shook my shoulders to make me smile "besides, so you really want to be electrocuted on power lines or hit by a plane? I know I wouldn't."
"I could run into a building" I gasped, laughing with him "or the under of an overpass."
"The under of an overpass?" he snorted, laughing again "you're an idiot."
He bumped me playfully.
"I think that would be you" I bumped back, smiling.
His laughter died down. Mine followed as I stared back at Adrian.
Should I tell him?
"So..." he began, looking away from me briefly "what will you do for three months?"
"What can I do?" I sighed back "train a replacement and sit in my room? There's not much else to do but wait."
Adrian looked out at the road, humming as he thought.
"Mum is making spaghetti tonight" he smiled back at me "have you had spaghetti? Anyway, she makes it with chocolate in the sauce so it takes the bite out. You've got to have some!"
"Oh, I'll look forward to it when you bring some in" I smiled politely, unsure of what bought up his sudden burst of excitement.
It caught me so off guard it made me a little nervous.
"Silly, you can come with me! You aren't performing, right? And I'm your singer, so I obviously won't be performing either, so....."
"What about the drink tickets?" I worried "that's on tonight."
"And nobody will be able to drink with you since you didn't perform. It's for 'per-for-mers'" Adrian dragged out while grinning "and they won't want drinks or photos with some lame singer. We can leave. Hell, we can call it a day!"
I looked back at the door, expecting Bruce to come barging through it at any moment and overhear us.
"He'll know I'm gone."
"Not if it's when the show is on. He'll be making sure everything else is right with everyone else. He's got shaky Elgress up on the chandelier, the girls all switched up, and Viva down in the bar. He'll be so distracted, he won't even think about you."
He'll be distracted. I could go further than the fence.
Excitement jolted through me. I laughed out, grinning wildly when I realized what was about to happen.
"We've got to get a few things sorted first" Adrian reeled me in "you've got to tell Bruce you aren't up for tonight. You're so bummed that you're just going to stay in your room, ok? Next we'll pack an overnight bag..."
"I don't have one of those."
Adrian sighed, thinking.
"You got a plastic bag?"
"Yeah?"
"We'll pack a plastic bag of clothes for tonight and anything else you want to bring. Then we'll have to pay off Vinnie to keep his mouth shut. I'll bring the car around and we can get out of here!"
I shuddered with nervous excitement, squealing.
"I can't wait!"
"You're going to love it!" he pushed "it's right up on a hill, so you can see the sun set and rise. The stars are really pretty too, but the mozzies can be a bit of a pain. It does get a little cold, but I'm sure I've got extra blankets...."
My heart clenched. I swallowed as I tried to speak.
"Are we sharing a bed?"
Adrian's smile slid and he became flustered.
"Well, I've got the couch, but I figured that you might get scared in a new place. We hang out on your bed all the time, but if you want me to sleep somewhere else I can, I just thought..."
He did hang out in my room, but we never slept together. Adrian always left for home while I nestled into my rolled up blankets to feel like I wasn't so alone.
"If it doesn't bother you, I'd like to share" I mumbled back, burning.
"Oh" he grinned "that's good, because I do get a little cold."
Sleeping together and snuggling. My heart raced at the thought. I could feel the warm blankets and his head tucked against me now. It wouldn't be like my dreams but it was close enough for me.
We wouldn't go back to just friends after this. Sharing a bed was a serious thing.
"Let's go tell Bruce I'm not feeling well" I beamed, pushing Adrian for the door with my shoulder.
"Righto. Might want to not look so eager" he replied, snickering when we moved into the dark hall together.
I pushed out into the communal room and was instantly gawked at by Vinnie who stood over Viva, teaching her how to make a drink.
"So? Fracture? Snapped clean in half?" Vinnie called.
I turned, showing my cast and the little scrap of fabric that was my sling.
"Broken. Thirteen weeks off."
"Ohhh" he dragged out, leaning over to try and see down the hall to Bruce's room "that explains the attitude then."
"Did the doctor come out?" I asked, looking for myself.
"Chasing Bruce for that money" Vinnie shrugged "he's a determined man, but he's not fast."
"Hate to be the doctor."
"I'd hate to be the Big Man" Vinnie commented "imagine what the doctor will do when he gets a hold of him? Cripple him? Cut off his balls?"
Vinnie shook his head, smiling, then gestured for Viva to stop pouring her drink.
"Too much cum, Honey" he explained, pressing a finger to the top foamy layer "you want a little bit so there's more to go around. It's a Cum Shot, not a Cum Shower."
"Sorry" Viva muttered, grabbing a spoon to flick off the excess.
One side was shaved, the other cut short and dyed blue and green. Dressed in the same heart bondage strap as Vinnie, Viva got to wear a strapped corset that cut around the curves of her hips. She seemed uncomfortable in it, trying to pull up the corset and adjust the ruffles spilling onto her squashed breasts.
"The guests tonight are getting gracious servings" Vinnie quipped as he dragged the shot aside and laid down an empty one "let's try again."
Viva was determined on getting it right. Nodding she collected the bottles she needed.
"I'm dosing you guys on peach tea and water tonight" Vinnie flicked his fingers between us "got to keep your face about you when you need to drink fifty glasses. Going to be a long one."
Adrian smiled at me and leant on the bar.
"So.... Avery isn't performing, and I'm not needed" he started, circling his finger on the bar "I'm taking him to mine to eat spaghetti tonight."
Vinnie snorted, letting out a laugh. Even Viva giggled while pouring shots.
"Is that what you are calling it now?" Vinnie pointed to Adrian's pants.
Instantly, I was blushing as if it really was innuendo for something else.
"Spaghetti is spaghetti" Adrian sighed back "I just need you to not let Bruce know he's gone. As far as anyone knows, he's going to be in his room all night."
"Oh, Honey, silence ain't cheap" Vinnie replied, checking on Viva's shots with approval.
"I'm being serious" Adrian almost growled.
Vinnie lost his carefree demeanor in return, slapping a hand down on the bar.
"So am I."
"How much?" I piped up as I stepped in to block Adrian.
"It's going to be a long night. A hundred."
One hundred dollars?
"Y-you're joking" I gasped back "that's...." I counted quickly, adding up my nightly pays "two nights worth!"
"Really? Two?" Vinnie was the one to be shocked now "you don't get an hourly rate?"
"Of about ten bucks an hour for a five hour show" Adrian murmered.
"Oh, Honey" Vinnie sympathized "that's sad, it really is. You know what? I love you dearly so I'm going to say that if you bring me back some spaghetti I'll call it even."
"Really?" I gasped back "thank you, Vinnie!"
"Babycakes, don't stress. You go eat your spaghetti, or whatever, and I'll say you are in your room. I have a lot of Cum Shots to drink and such little time to do it."
Smiling in amusement, Vinnie waved us off while knocking back his first shot.
74Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvayU0uGeDU
Since Bruce wasn't in his office, we slipped around to the back of the stage and made our way directly to my room marked with a golden star; as all three rooms were.
I didn't even pause to think how it would look as I rushed Adrian in and hurriedly closed the door.
He stood there, shaking his head at me when I rushed for my bed to throw up the covers in the search for the plastic bag I needed.
"Would it be there?" he spoke up, amused "you aren't going to try a more sensible spot?"
"Like where?" I tilted my head back at him when I unearthed a stick, shoving it back in place.
My blankets were squashed and rounded to resemble a soft nest. All sorts of things that interested me were buried in the layers to fluff it out.
My father bought back all sorts of things to my birth nest. One of the greatest things was a shiny locket he had stolen from someone. When the sun hit it at just the right angle, it shone just as bright. My goal was to find something as precious as it for my own area.
My mother had us tucked away in stolen blankets, towels, pillows, and clothes; anything soft to cushion us within the large stick nest she has built.
It was ingrained in me to carry on their traits. I didn't have a tree, so I made do with a bedframe, mattress, and blankets.
"It's in here somewhere...." I grunted as I peeled back layers to claw around, dragging out more things to place them elsewhere in the blankets "it's right about...."
My nails caught something that rustled. Slapping my hand on it, the noise was unmistakable.
"Here!"
I ripped up the plastic bag to hold it above my head proudly. Promptly whipping it open, I proudly stepped off the bed to head to my closet.
"You never cease to amaze me" Adrian commented, wandering to the bed nest "you've got all sorts of things tucked in here!"
"Only what interests me" I replied, digging for shorts.
"A pen?"
"It bobbles when you tip it upside down" I gestured for him to do just that "and it has little ducks in it."
"A crushed up leaf?"
"It has a pretty pattern" I replied while moving to my underwear now.
I heard Adrian sigh before shoving it back in and digging for more treasures.
"What's this?" he chuckled as he grabbed something to pull it up "is this bandages?"
He still thought it was amusing until he saw the old blood stained on them. It has turned brown like dirt a long time ago.
"You kept these?" he almost whispered as he looked at me hurtfully.
"They are important to me" I raced over to snatch them from him to stuff them away "it's a reminder."
"Of getting your wings chopped off?"
"Of having them" I scowled back "sometimes it feels just like they used to."
"Oh, Avery...."
I huffed, scowling again at his pity when I stormed back over to rip down my best shirts.
I didn't need his pity. He shouldn't have found them. They were mine to do with what I wanted.
"I think I've got my bag ready" I held it up to show him "can we leave my stuff alone now?"
Adrian heard the defensiveness in my voice. He saw how guarded I was and how I kept checking on my treasures he stood beside.
"Yeah, uh, we should make ourselves known so someone can vouch that they saw you. It'll sell that you're in here."
"Yeah, ok."
Adrian met me at the door and reached out his hand to grab mine, stopping me.
"You should let me hold onto that" his eyes dipped down to the bag "in case someone asks."
Handing it over, I bit the inside of my cheek.
What if he questioned what I had in there too? It was barely anything, but the clothes had to be older than the bandage he had unearthed. Would the age of them make him pity me more?
I wished the plastic wasn't so clear. It was painfully obvious I didn't have good clothes like him.
Adrian pushed open the door and leant against it so I could move around him. He closed it, following me.
"All we need is for someone to see you" he spoke, nudging his head forwards when I turned around "maybe heaps at once..... let's try back at the stage."
We had left it during Elgress' spectacular performance. I don't think she would be there anymore.
Still, we passed through the back of the stage and peeled through to see the dancers rehearsing.
Elgress was nowhere to be seen. The chandelier was tucked neatly out of sight.
Grinning when I caught the attention of the glittering dancers, I left the comfort of the curtains to make myself known.
"Did it hurt?" one asked while others touched the cast.
"Getting this?" I smiled at it "only a little when the doctor had to put it in place."
"I could never" another shuddered.
"You're really brave, Avery. You fell from so high up."
"How long until you are back up there?"
"Thirteen weeks" I told them to gasps and groans of disappointment "I'm kind of bummed about the whole thing to be honest."
Play it up. Make them believe you are just going to wallow in your self pity for the rest of the night.
"Who will replace you?"
"Will there be a replacement?"
"Who knows?" Adrian stepped in now "we were going to find another one of the birds to ask, but when Avery isn't feeling so sore."
There were uncertain glances. They knew as well as I did that the spotlight wasn't where any of the birds wanted to be.
They hid in crowds and worked in shadows. Keeping their heads down let them fly under the radar.
"What's with the bag, Adrian?"
He looked down at it, holding it up bashfully.
"I thought I'd have a part tonight, so I bought a few changes of clothes for practice. Turns out, I didn't need to prepare so much."
"Tell me about it."
There were giggles and comments of wishing to do the same. No-one questioned it further. They just took it for what it was at face value.
They all had eyes on me. They had seen enough of me. We had to make out escape soon so we weren't trapped in this mass of swarmed, curious bodies.
"I should get some rest" I jerked a thumb over my shoulder "if anyone sees Bruce can they tell him I'll be in my room? I....kind of don't want to look at the ribbons right now."
Dropping my eyes, I tugged at their heart strings. Even Adrian placed a hand on my shoulder to rub it in comfort.
"Probably best if he doesn't know, to be honest" he added "he might just harass him to perform anyway."
"Urgh, I hear you."
There was muttered agreement as some dancers peeled away to take formations and stretch. Others lingered still, keen to see us off as we passed back through the curtains.
"That's done" Adrian smiled at me "now, we get out of here."
I jittered in excitement. We moved quickly, smiling politely and making excuses when we passed others on our way back towards the bar.
Adrian took lead, poking his head out to scan the area before letting me scurry around him.
Vinnie saw us and pointed to the hall, covering the side of his mouth with a shielding hand as he whispered.
"Be quick. He's back in" he almost mouthed, giving us a thumbs up.
"Remember our agreement" Adrian whispered back sternly.
Vinnie zipped his lips and shooed us as he checked on a noise coming from down the hall.
Adrian nodded, peeling open the hall door for me and pushing me through.
"My car is parked a little up the road" he spoke in the darkness behind me "it's not far but we will need to be quick."
We rushed for the light and shoved out into it, now sprinting for the entrance while unable to contain our nervous laughter.
The van was gone. It was just us and a clear path for freedom that Adrian raced out into.
I slowed and hesitated at the line again, checking the closed door behind us.
My eye caught something dark lingering just in the corner of my sight. Leaning to look at it, I found Tawn laying across the table that served as a centrepiece to whatever tiny garden was shoved in the corner of the lot in an attempt to beautify it.
Frozen, I checked to see if he had noticed me from underneath the book splayed across his face.
He didn't move. Adrian checked too, holding his breath beside me.
We didn't need Tawn on our backs. He didn't even need his eyes open to know where anyone was.
If Tawn saw us leaving, Bruce would be the first to know I was gone. I hadn't talked to enough people. Maybe Vinnie would sell me out too, despite what he promised?
Maybe this was a bad idea. I didn't want to get into trouble.
"Come on" Adrian beckoned, keeping his eyes on Tawn "it'll be fine."
"I don't know...." I fretted, glancing again.
"What are you going to do?" Adrian scoffed now "actually go sit in your room and wait?"
That didn't sound like a bad idea. I wouldn't have done anything wrong if he found me where I was supposed to be.
"Avery" Adrian begged now and held his hand out to me "please. Bruce won't even know."
And what if he did? What would he do to me then? Take my nails? They looked just like the talons of a bird; he'd tear them out and leave me with nothing.
Adrian's hand held mine to gently stroke the back of my hand. He stood right on the other side of the line now, still waiting for me.
"I'll make sure you're safe, ok?"
My gut bubbled and my chest burned at his statement. I felt my face flush when I focused on his soft finger still trying to soothe me.
"If we don't want to get caught, we need to leave now" he urged gently. His eyes also darted nervously to the door now that we saw Tawn wasn't going to be a threat.
Bruce would be too busy drinking his problems away to worry about me. He wouldn't know I was gone.
I could enjoy a little bit of life without him hovering beneath me or breathing down my neck. No-one had seen us leave.
Nodding, I stepped over the line and grinned when Adrian lit up, dropping my hand instantly to pull ahead.
"It's up there!" he pointed excitedly to the end of the road that hooked onto the main one "ready to go! I'll let my mum know we are on our way!"
He pulled out his phone from his pocket to start stabbing at it instantly. Head down, his excited jog slowed to a casual stroll I easily caught up to.
I peeled over his shoulder to try and see what he was typing.
"Sticky Beak" he muttered back as he finished his text and sent it "got your nose in everything, don't you?"
I smirked back and let him shove me playfully.
"Race you to the car?"
"You know full well I'm not fast" I moaned back and cried out when Adrian took off with glee.
He reached the car way before I could, unlocking it and laughing when I went to yank the door open that he had locked.
"What's up? Too weak to open the door now?"
I yanked again, laughing.
"Let me in!"
"Magic word?"
I sighed, trying again.
"Please!" I shouted back between giggles.
"I think it's 'please, Adrian, the best singer in the whole wide world, your voice is so majestic'."
"Fuck off" I snorted as the car was promptly unlocked for me to slide into.
I couldn't rest back against the chair with my stumps. Instead, I had to sit on a lean to be comfortable. With the seatbelt stretched, it wasn't the smooth getaway I was thinking of.
Adrian pulled us onto the main road that ran straight past the building. Staring out the window, I saw Elgress was now talking with Tawn who was sitting up.
I smiled to myself, knowing how lucky I was to slip out just by the skin of my teeth. Ducking down, I tried to keep out of sight while watching them.
He was holding her hand as she spoke. With a flick of his tongue, she placed her hand on his knee.
We passed and I strained to see them through the back window. I saw them leaving the seat together before cars and trees blocked the view.
I had no idea Tawn was still that close to Elgress.
They used to be partners, like what I was with Adrian, but I never thought he was still so attached to her. I just assumed with Loreen, he had moved his priorities elsewhere to giving his all to the show.
Was he only just acting on feelings he was hiding, like me? Or was this all because she had been so impressive up on the chandelier earlier? Did it stir feelings in him he didn't know he had?
It was cute. To think one performance could change everything....
I burned at the thought of that being me.
Facing the front now, I suddenly couldn't make eye contact with Adrian. He was driving anyway, but I was far too embarrassed of my longing thoughts for him to try and pry them from me.
74Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNjueFwIYd
Adrian took us further from the concrete and noise of the city and into a place where sprawling land with property lay.
It was incredible how close it was to all the gleam of the glass structures and graffitied brick. A single road wound past the blocks towards a rolling mountain covered in trees.
How far were we from the city? I could smell the clean air was still tainted with smoke and fuel. Somewhere, someone was having a hearty wood fire that roasted meat.
My mouth watered. The crisping meat over burning wood was making my stomach start to growl in response.
After a loud compliant I tried to smother with my hands, Adrian giggled at me.
"It's just up there" he pointed to my left.
Looking up, a little gravel road snaked up the side of the mountain. Cut into the lowest section, the road continued onwards for the more treacherous paths ahead.
Adrian pulled off the road that immediately started to toss the car. Crunching up the gravel, Adrian kept his speed slow so we wouldn't skid into the side of the little house we passed halfway up.
"That's the neighbours" Adrian gave a push of his horn and wave to no-one "Ruth and Ernie are the old couple who lives there. They have the cutest dog called Missy."
Turning to look again at the little house, I grinned at it's sky blue paint smothered with a climbing vine of flowers. It really was a quiet and cute thing I could see myself growing old in.
They had such a great view too. Facing outwards there was nothing but the staggered trees and single bent road here. I could only see the peaks of buildings way off in the otherwise uninterrupted distance. The sky was a shade of blue so clear that it couldn't possibly be the same dusty one that hung over the building we had come from. I hadn't seen clouds so white or fluffy either. They were usually thin sheets of smog or little puffs spilling from a hot exhaust.
"We're home" Adrian smiled to me, honking his horn again as he pulled up beside another house at the top of the hill.
This one was a nice light yellow. Facing the same direction as the blue one, the sun warmed the face over an open wooden verandah that splayed out over the edge of the hill.
Up on it, I saw four people peek over from their chairs and wave. A dog and cat were there too, the dog trying to bark enthusiastically through the thin panels of the verandah barrier.
Adrian grabbed my bag for me and even closed the door. Now self conscience about the short outfit I was wearing, I paused at the side of the car.
"Do you think it's too little?"
Adrian turned and shook his head.
"They've seen me in booty shorts more times than I can count" he smiled "and I'm sure they've seen a boy in a bra before..."
"It's not a bra!" I cried out, trying to pull the ends of my top down to his laughter.
"Relax, they'll be more interested in those anyway."
He pointed to my stumps. I knew exactly that they would gain unwanted attention and grimaced at it.
Still, I couldn't hide out here forever.
"You're back early!" a woman pushed out the front door we walked to over another flat verandah "so, this must be your famous friend!"
She was grinning ear to ear. Bouncing in a plain green dress, her thick light brown hands held onto a tea towel that was decorated with knitted bees and had some silly little quote stitched into it.
Her dark brown hair fell in long curls over both shoulders to her elbows. It was the same shade as Adrian's. It almost looked like the dark wood on some of the trees out here.
Her bright brown eyes didn't leave me. She looked starstruck, putting me on the spot.
"Well, I wouldn't say famous..." I blushed back at the comment.
"Nonsense!" she barked out, giggling and getting her teeth to look at Adrian "Adrian Ray, introduce me."
Adrian Ray?
I smirked, waiting too.
"Avery; Mum" he gestured between us before we shook hands "Mum, Avery."
"You can call me Jennie, honey" she beamed "you really are a skinny little thing. They don't feed you at that place?"
"Mum!" Adrian groaned in embarrassment as she opened the front door for us "I've told you he has to diet for the show."
He had? What else had he told her about me?
"I've got brownies just in" Jennie bubbled up proudly "I won't be offended if you don't try one, dear, but I really would like you to have a bite."
"Mum! Go!" Adrian groaned out again, shooing her now.
She waddled off to the left with a cheeky look back at her son.
"I'm so sorry about her" he shook his head he held "she can be a bit much sometimes."
"I like her" I shrugged back "she's nice."
"Yeah, well..."
He let his voice drop off, looking down at the photos lining the little hallway entrance we stood in.
"I'll show you around and then introduce you to the others."
I nodded, grinning at a baby photo of Adrian sitting in its frame.
He took me to the right to sweep his arm across the room.
"This is the lounge room."
The floor here was slate. With plates of it so large, it had a nice rugged look and feel to it when we stepped into it.
There was a fireplace across the room against the wall. Beside it was a large metal bucket of chopped firewood with a poker stand.
Closest to us was the brown leather couch. There was a little coffee table with magazines and an unfinished puzzle beside it. To the left, it all sat below a nice painting of a field of sunflowers bent beneath the hot sun.
Was it a photograph? It was really detailed to just be something someone drew, right?
I saw another hall to the right of the fireplace. Adrian led me to it and pressed on the wall inside to pop out a cupboard.
"The extra blankets are in here if you get cold. The towels are on the other side."
Reaching around me, he popped that one to show it off too. My heart tensed from the closeness. Even without him looking at me, I had eyes firmly on him.
I dropped them before he could lower his head, nodded politely and followed him down to the end.
To the right was a door. To the left, another door. They were both the same. It was just missing the glittering star and fancy scripted name to be the same as the ones back at the hellhole we had come from.
"This is my room" he pushed open the right door to stand outside and survey it "it's not much."
He was being far too humble.
Instantly, I noticed the large window edged with curtains to the right. Looking over the wild backyard, I saw trees at the edge of the yard covered in the fallen leaves and pinecones.
There was no fence. The trees were their indicator of how far to go. I didn't know if they owned land beyond it, just that it was so alluring to walk out and explore the darkness just sitting there.
The bed was pressed under the window. The sheets were thrown aside and I saw a pair of bottoms crumpled at the foot of the bed. They were cotton and decorated with little rubber ducks.
I could see Adrian was hoping I hadn't noticed them. I just swallowed my snort and looked elsewhere.
To the right was a grand bookshelf lined with figurines. He collected animal ones that were fuzed with foods. They were proudly centred around his game console and small TV.
I could see a strawberry snake, a cabbage peacock, a banana bird and a mango cat. The collection looked incomplete. There were gaps where others could fit in.
Beside it all, right next to the open door, was an open wardrobe filled with all sorts of clothes.
I recognized his more glitzy show ones on the right side while the toned down casual clothes hung on the left.
Adrian tossed in my bag and moved us back out into the hall so he could close the door.
"The parents room is over there" he pointed behind me to the other door before hesitating "are you going to be ok meeting the others?"
"Are they bad?" I breathed back, confused.
Adrian giggled at me and shook his head. Moving past, he led the way down the hall and back to the living room.
"It can be a bit much all at once" he almost whispered.
I smiled at his concern, deciding not to remind him of how many people we usually performed for nightly.
A few people wouldn't be that bad.
"This is the kitchen" he led us past the end of the entrance hall and to the room on the other side of it where the scent of rich chocolate was baking in the baby blue oven "mum likes her blue."
Did she ever. Everything looked picture perfect and so soft coated in the same shade of baby blue.
The fridge shone through its bright coat and silver trimmings. Everything matched it. The microwave, the kettle, the toaster, the oven, and even the panels on the cupboards. The silver rod running across the oven held the knitted tea towels proudly, including the one I had seen earlier.
Whatever wasn't blue was laid in stained, knotted wood. Everything had a purpose. There was no mess. It didn't even look used.
"It's like a magazine" I gasped in awe.
"Don't let her hear you say that" he ushered me out "she'll make the whole house like it."
Guiding me out of the kitchen, I saw the dining table laid out in the open room on top of a intricately patterned rug.
It was a lighter shade of wood that was almost white. Around it were curved chairs with dark blue cushions. A table runner of white and blue streaked down the middle and accented the bowl of spilling leaves and berries.
All across the back wall were floor to ceiling windows to show off just how marvelous the view was. Right in the middle, the glass door was slid open to let the gentle breeze flow through and dance through the sheer curtains billowing out either side.
"The bathroom is down there" Adrian pointed to the right where another closed door sat. It was decorated with a funny little picture of a duckling peeking out of a sock pegged to a clothesline.
Nodding, I smiled to the people waiting for us out on the verandah.
They were sitting around another long table that was identical to the one inside.
Cans of drink were scattered around plates of salad and snags. The dog I had seen before was the first to haul it's old body over and enthusiastically sniffle at my legs, it's tail beating the sides of the open door. I couldn't even step outside with it blocking the way.
The cat, a brown and black stripes thing with a fuzzy light brown stomach that hung with age, just remained laying on the verandah, stretching and rolling to sleep on its back with its paws tucked in.
It was pretty inviting. I didn't want to risk getting scratched by something so cute.
"Come on, Missy, move" Adrian pushed the dog aside who was still adamant on trying to lick me while Adrian led it outside "everyone, this is Avery."
"Hello" I grinned and followed "it's ni....."
I couldn't even finish my sentence when screeching and bashing pierced the air from my right.
Looking over, I saw a large bird cage on its own podium with two yellow, white, and grey speckled cockatiels inside that were thrashing and screaming against the bars. Feathers were being knocked loose and they were adamant on trying to wedge their little heads through the cage to escape.
Jenny was instantly up to rush over and pull out the blanket to throw it over them.
The cockatiels were still screaming and clambering over each other under the cover as she quickly wheeled them past me to the lounge room.
"Sorry" I grimaced to the shocked expressions of the others "that's probably because of me."
"Well, shit" the man at the other side of the table chuckled in disbelief "quite a reaction."
He had to be Adrian's father.
Unlike him and his mother, he had sweeping black hair that curled out over his ears.
His dark blue eyes didn't leave me as they ran over my back in interest. He saw my stumps and waited to question me about them.
Like the others, he was just curious. They all were waiting to bombard me; I could see it.
His blue shirt almost matched his eyes and the logo across the front was so faded it just looked like white crackles.
His dark hands clutched a can he took a long sip from.
Taking my place at the table beside Adrian, I dropped my eyes down to the table in embarrassment for causing such a commotion already.
"Avery, this is my dad, David."
"Nice to finally meet you, son" he leant over to shake my hand "Adrian talks about you all the time. You do the spinny thing."
"Acrobatics" I corrected with a small smile that hid a laugh.
The older couple opposite us just smiled politely as the woman sipped tea from a little cup.
Ruth's hair was a fluffy white afro speckled with grey. Clear glasses with a dangling golden chain hung in front of pale blue eyes that sparkled with sincerity. I could see every blue vein in her boney pale hands and arms that trembled slightly beneath her dark green long sleeved dress that covered most of her.
Ernie's pale moustache tickled the lip of the bottle he raised to his lips. For an elder, his head was surprisingly full of silver hair that was swept to the side. Even his grey eyes matched his vintage look.
His pale skin was spotted with red mostly on the backs on his hands that reached for more salad. He had on an old leather jacket that was patched at the elbows to hide the fact and keep his small frame warm.
They hadn't said a word and already I could tell they were kind-hearted people.
"I'm so sorry about Sunny and Bumble, they never act that way" Jennie pushed back outside to take the chair between her husband and her son "they're sweethearts, really."
"I'm sorry about scaring them" I leant over to apologize "the only birds I've really been around are my height and don't really come near me."
Would the hybrids have the same reaction back there? Or was it solely a panic response for nature's animals because I was far too large to be anything they instinctively knew to avoid?
"Do they have wings?" David asked, drinking "like you?"
"Well, I think so" I replied, thinking "I don't think the others have been cut."
The elders nodded knowingly.
"I haven't seen anyone like you around here" Ernie finally spoke "it's not every day you come face to face with a circus performer like you."
"Are they real?" Ruth added quietly.
"For the show, they aren't" Adrian defended me before I could speak "but they're real. You can't tell anyone though. We've had enough trouble with them already."
Adrian looked around to get his message across. I just sat there, watching Missy wedge herself under the table at my feet with a sigh.
"They won't grow back?" Jennie whispered to me.
"Oh, I wish" I forced a smile as my gut clenched "that would be nice."
To actually be out there flying over this amazing landscape... I'd have the breeze fluttering through each feather, just like it used to.
I felt my eyes sting at the edges. Smiling, I just turned my attention to Missy now.
Play it cool. Don't cause a scene.
"I'm going to show Avery the rest of the place" Adrian spoke up with a quick look to me "he still hasn't seen so much."
"Oh" his mother mumbled, aware of the sudden change of heart "we didn't upset you, darling, did we?"
"No, it's fine" I got up instantly and waited for Adrian "it's been really nice. It was nice to meet you all. I just don't get to see places like this very often."
"Can you please let us know when dinner is ready?" Adrian mumbled to his mother who nodded.
"Did you want me to save you some brownies?" she called out as we walked towards the door.
Realizing I was put on the spot, I looked to Adrian for help before putting on another smile.
"I don't think I should" I politely declined, shrugging "chocolate...."
"Ah, of course" David spoke now, with the others mumbling agreement.
"We can't feed the birds chocolate either" Jennie added to try and break the unease between us "must be something in common."
"Must be."
Adrian ushered me inside and leant over my shoulder when I hesitated at the sight of the covered bird cage still sitting in the lounge room.
"I'll show you around outside?" he offered.
Taking up his chance to escape the others, we quickly darted for the front door, but not before causing panic in the birds again.
74Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3I8cuv7eX
"I'm sorry about the others."
Adrian sat beside me on the grassy ledge that held the support of the verandah behind us.
We were right on the edge a good few meters from the pillars. I could only hear mumbles on the breeze of the others conversation way above us.
The smell of brownies had been overpowered by the cooking meat and tomatoes now stewing in the kitchen. The soft scent of pasta rounded out the bite of the tomatoes wafting around us.
The light from the house shone out to wash around us in soft pockets that burned almost orange. It was the only light we had to see our surroundings with.
Ruth and Ernie had taken their leave not long ago with Missy, wanting to get home before it became too dark for them. I could see the lights of their home shrouded behind their curtains and smell the smoke fluttering out of their little chimney.
"It's alright. They didn't know."
Adrian ripped up the grass between us to toss over the edge. I did the same, twining it around my nails instead.
"I just wish you still had them, that's all. You should be out there like you used to."
He swept an arm across the tops of the trees pointing up below us like needles. The sky was darkened around us behind grey clouds and smears of orange and pink. I could feel the change in the bite of the air nibbling at my body.
"We can't change what happened" I shrugged back, tossing the grass now.
"Yeah, well, if it were up to me, you wouldn't have to go back there" he grumbled.
I burned and smiled at his sour face turned down to the grass he twisted.
Something warm bubbled in my chest at his kind words wanting to keep me here forever. It fluttered somewhere in the bottom of my gut, popping there.
"They'll know I'm missing if you did that" I chuckled back, playing it off as a joke.
"Yeah, I know" he sighed back in defeat and managed to look at me again "I just...."
He was so troubled by something that could never happen. It was cute to see him so bitter about my well-being.
"It's a nice thought" I reassured him.
Adrian huffed and shrugged, refusing to look at me now.
"We should head inside."
He was up and beating the grass from his clothes while I looked up at him. Staring down at the light around me, I saw a shadow slip into view.
"Dinner is ready if you boys are hungry!" Jennie called with a grin.
I returned it, clambering to my feet now to follow Adrian around the side of the house.
We tapped along the front and reached the door before I coughed out to gain Adrian's attention.
"Thank you for looking out for me" I mumbled to him.
I saw him flush and mutter something under his breath before opening the door and checking that I could come inside safely.
"We moved the birds into our room, dear!" Jennie called as I scanned for them "thought it would be easier!"
"Don't want to give them heart attacks now" David chuckled beside her.
Adrian pulled up the seat opposite his father. I took the one beside him, opposite his mother.
My plate was loaded with spaghetti bolognese and little meatballs.
Compared to the others, mine was lighter. The sauce on Adrian's and his family's was richer and darker than my bright splatter. There was a little sprig of basil on top.
"I put suger in yours instead of chocolate" Jennie explained while Adrian picked off the garnish and began to eat "can you have suger?"
I nodded, picking up my fork to balance it in my fingers.
I could have suger, but I hadn't had chocolate. I just assumed it was dangerous and avoided it. It was probably a good idea not to test the theory now after going this long without tasting it.
Tapping the fork on my nail, I felt how odd it was. I could snap it like a dry bone at any moment.
Stabbing the meatball, I eagerly chewed on it, looking for conversation that would steer the curious eyes from me.
"So, what else can you do?" David spoke up with a point of his fork "do you sleep sitting up?"
"Dad!" Adrian hissed to him, burning in embarrassment.
"It's ok" I chuckled as I spun my fork into the pasta "I sleep like a person, pillow and all."
"Do you call like an eagle?" he breathed "the 'pewwww' noise?"
Adrian sighed and kept eating to stay silent.
"Oh, no!" I laughed "it's like a baby chick if anything. I'm not that good."
"Really?" Jennie piped up now in interest "I would have assumed..."
"Is the guy-liner a part of it?" David interrupted suddenly, pointing to my eyes.
"Oh" I blinked back in surprise "uh, yes. That's just me, see?"
I rubbed a finger across my eyes to prove it wasn't the makeup I usually slathered on. Even Adrian watched in disbelief.
"Usually I'll cover it for the shows, but the black parts are me" I smiled "all of my family had it too. It's how you can tell us from the other birds out there."
"I didn't even know that" Adrian found his voice.
"The feathers grow in black too around here" I gestured to my bare shoulders "all the rest is white except for the tips of my wings I had. They're really pretty."
"You'll have to show us one day" Jennie beamed.
I shrugged with a full mouth, enjoying the punch of the tomatoes smothered by a layer of sweetness that coated my throat.
"Bruce doesn't like me too 'out there' for the shows" I admitted through my mouthful, swallowing "he makes me pl...."
I paused, shutting my mouth.
Should I be telling them all this? Sharing this information with strangers that would judge me for tearing out my own feathers to meet a standard set for me?
"...well, he likes me as me" I finished with a nod and pointed to my plate "this spaghetti is incredible."
Move the subject along. Take it away from my disgusting self-destruction.
Jennie gushed over the praise, rolling into a story about how she got the recipe from her mother who carried it from her mother.
I didn't listen, just nodding and adding in the occasional remark of surprise as I focused on finishing my food to escape anymore questions that might threaten to reveal more that I was trying to hide.
Shovelling food in, everything tasted the same. I didn't savour the flavour, only the thought that I could retreat to somewhere quieter than this dinner table.
"Darling, would you like more?" Jennie gushed at my empty plate "I've got plenty of you are hungry."
"I couldn't fit any, but it was incredible" I grinned while getting up "best food I've had in ages!"
Heading to the kitchen with my plate, I laid it beside the sink and waited for Adrian to come over with his.
"You ok?" he dropped his voice as he turned his back on his family.
"I'm fine" I mumbled back, not wanting to talk somewhere so open.
"I've got to pack some of this for Vinnie, mum!" Adrian raised his voice and reached above me for a takeaway container "it's for another one of his favours."
"That boy and his favours" David shook his head "he's trouble, that one."
"He's good" Adrian slopped the spaghetti in "he's just a little nosey."
David snorted. I saw Jennie shoot a look of disbelief to her son. Even he didn't believe his own words.
"He makes great drinks" I added helpfully.
"Yeah, well, drinks don't keep him happy" Adrian slid the container of spaghetti into the fridge "ready to head to the room?"
I nodded, letting him take the lead again.
I bid my goodnights to the family and thanked them for the meal again. While it didn't fill me, I wasn't about to go scoffing seconds and risking overfilling my stomach before tomorrow.
Adrian quickened up the pace when we reached the room and flew over to the bed to scrunch up and throw his underwear into the cupboard.
I held back my laughter at his embarrassment and sank into the bed to watch him promptly pick up a controller to hand to me.
"Play with me?"
"I'll watch" I laid down on my side with a smile, dragging over a cold pillow to lay my head on.
"It's always there if you want it" he shrugged and waited for the game to load.
Watching, I made myself comfortable beside the cold wall. Untouched for so long, the whole bed was cold. It was comforting when I laid my burning arm down on it to be soothed.
"You know, I never knew that about your eyes" Adrian spoke up, turning around now "is it true?"
"That they are always like this?" I snorted "yeah."
He looked them over, pausing for a moment.
"Can I touch them?"
"My eyes?" I giggled and dragged myself to the edge "sure. Go for it."
Adrian gave up on his title screen to hold my head in both hands. With his thumbs, he gently rubbed over my eyelids, scuffing at the edges where the blackness peaked.
I felt my breath hitch and catch somewhere in my throat. I swallowed it down, feeling it stab on the way down.
His hands were so soft and gentle...
"It really is true" he breathed in wonder.
I didn't open my eyes. I felt like I was melting into his hands. I wasn't going to ruin this moment.
But, his hands left to pick up the controller again. Opening my eyes to see his back turned to me, I shuffled back in disappointment.
"Sure you don't want to play?" he offered again to my forced smile and shake of my head.
74Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcva1DRe8g
I didn't even remember falling asleep while Adrian gamed from his place on the ground.
I remember watching him chain together his impressive combos through dipping eyelids blinking back the sleep, then feeling the soft pillow comfortably caressing my weary head.
But, in the soft darkness, my dream returned.
I was flying again with Adrian, this time over the trees just outside the house.
We twirled and dipped through the night sky together like we usually did.
Then, just like the other times, we clashed.
Twisting towards the ground, he smashed into the patch of land we had sat together on earlier tonight.
Unable to move, my long claws raked down his side to spill out the insides I pulled up with my snapping beak as he quietly died once more.
I felt myself smiling as I squeezed the blankets close and huddled into them, latching on with my own cut claws.
His guts tasted just like his Mum's spaghetti.
I loved every moment of it.
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