Staring at my phone, it all felt so surreal.
Hearing her voice and the way it changed when I snapped directions to her. How she didn't get a chance to fight back before I hung up on her.
I didn't want to give it to her. I was afraid of what she would say and how I would react.
I already wanted to hurt her for killing my babies so carelessly. Drowning them with alcohol and sealing the deal with a forced abortion along with it.
I had to control myself. I was already taking a step in the right direction by confronting her about it all. I had to make sure it didn't spiral into something wrong.
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I chose a vacant spot to meet. Away from others, I wouldn't be judged or have my reputation kicked into the dirt when I would raise my voice and cry about how unfair it had all been.
I knew I would snap. I knew I was going to scream through snot and drool. I was going to say things I couldn't take back.
She'd either come alone or bring Vinnie. I'd bring Luke and Levi. Not because I needed the support, but because I didn't trust what I'd do if I was left alone.
I knew it was wrong to feel that way. Shame filled me when I told Luke the address I wanted him to go to. Laying my head back, I closed my eyes to try and quieten the scenarios playing in my mind.
How angry I was. How sad I became. The way I screamed. The way I begged.
Why?
"Are you ok?" I heard Levi whisper to me.
Shrugging, I kept my eyes closed. I focused on not letting it tear at my soul.
They both heard my short conversation with Elgress. Silence was the only thing in this car.
"It's just a lot" I stared at the roof now "you know?"
He agreed and grimaced in sympathy to me.
"You really didn't have to quit your jobs because of me" I slid an eye to Levi.
"Maybe not, but it's the right thing to do" he shrugged now "although, my mum is going to hate the fact I don't have an income now."
Luke scoffed, snorting.
"Anywhere would pay better than there anyway" he spoke up through the rear view mirror "my parents will have to get over it. They'll understand when I tell them the reason why."
Levi turned his expression to the back of Luke's chair now.
"You sure?" he worried "your dad is kind of old school."
"Yours is worse" he quipped immediately.
I saw the worry deepen on Levi's face that fell to focus on his knees.
He had told me that his dad was the kind of guy who had traditional values. The whole 'not being able to speak Heshier' thing cut deep for him. He wanted to prove himself to someone I guessed was sort of military in upbringing.
He was afraid of telling him he lost his job. He was scared of his own father.
I would give anything to see mine again. To feel his arms around me and have him understand my broken words as I sobbed about how cruel life had been.
There was no fear when there was love. It made me wonder what was going on at home that Levi was worried about facing.
It made sense why he and Luke usually came to work early just to sit around on their phones or mindlessly pluck guitar strings. They both had their own issues at home to deal with; like I had mine with Bruce.
We were all piled into the same sinking boat and expected to just go down with it.
I never saw marks on either boys, but I hadn't investigated beyond what I could see. For all I knew, things weren't physical, just verbal.
And I was about to drag them both into something that could tear at those wounds and confront them with a situation like the one they faced at home.
Maybe bringing them was a bad idea.
But it was too late now. We were almost there. The city had left our windows to be replaced with the long road leading from it. Somewhere further from here, it would break to the left. Then, we'd take another road to the end where it would turn to dirt and circle into a makeshift col-de-sac.
No-one lived there. It would be where I ended everything before sneaking back into Paragon's tonight to try and save what I had left of my future family.
To think I would be bonded to a bird of all things. Even though it was out of obligation, Balae didn't deserve for me to just up and abandon them after she had been there for me more than once.
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Luke turned onto the dirt road that quickly became gravel. Levi and I rocked in the back as Luke tried to dodge the potholes speckled along the unsealed path. He clutched his guitar close to make sure it wouldn't be damaged while I held onto the flimsy plastic handhold above the window.
"Bit bumpy!" Luke laughed as he was thrown around in his seatbelt "sure chose quite the spot, Tawn!"
Grimacing, I didn't try to speak. I didn't want a fang going through my lip if we slammed into another hole when I retorted back.
Levi kept quiet too. Only grunts and small giggles were the noises coming from us.
Finally, we peeled into where the gravel formed the circle.
Two trees grew here to offer some sort of shade.
Luke pulled us under the closest one, the other at the head of the circle to protect the area there.
It was still warm enough to be blinded by the familiar wall of fire when I looked too far upwards. Settling our issues in the shade would be preferable. I'd be able to see if Elgress was trying to outsmart my senses that way.
"When they get here, I want you two to wait in the car" I turned to them now unclipped and staring at me in offense "I don't want to get either of you involved in this."
"We can handle it" Levi insisted "we aren't kids."
"So you keep saying" I smiled and shook my head back at him "but I want you both here. It could get messy."
"Which is why we should be out there with you" Luke looked between me and Levi as he hung over the driver's seat "Elgress is a lizard. We can take her."
"Yeah."
"No" I snorted at their enthusiasm "we aren't going out there to fight her. I'm going to settle it like an adult."
"Biting her again would be easier" Luke muttered, glancing at my hard stare "what? It's true!"
"As true as it may be" I sighed to his smug smile "I just want to cut things for good between us. Besides, if things do get out of control, she has to be the one to act first."
I knew I'd be facing serious charges if she called the cops on me. A venomous hybrid attacking a 'human' never looked good. I might be able to call self-defense, but only if she lashed out before me.
It wouldn't go that far. We'd just settle everything and go our separate ways.
"Because you're a snake?" Levi asked.
"There's a whole bunch of rules around what is and isn't allowed. Attacking humans is one of them."
"But she's not even human!" Luke fired back.
"Well, that's what she's posing as, so we have to treat it like that" I shrugged "it's serious. You could go to jail for that shit."
I wanted them to understand there were consequences outside of Paragon. This was the real world. It played a lot harder with kids like them.
Biting her back there was fine. We were both consenting and things got out of hand. She couldn't use that against me years later. She might today, but I knew it would be out of bitterness or just to see me hurt.
"Just stay in the car, ok?" I turned to Levi.
"Ok" he nodded.
I turned to Luke who pouted.
"Fine."
Smiling, I could see a busted car rocking towards us on the road.
Must have been Vinnie's. She didn't own a car, and I didn't know anyone else that she trusted enough to drive her out here without questions.
Why him though?
Levi turned his head then saw who was driving. Swinging back around, he kept his back to the car veering off to give us a few meters space.
Elgress stared at me. I frowned back.
Vinnie was the driver; no surprise. He was saying something to her to make her head pull from me.
"Keep the windows up and play some music" I told the boys as I opened my door and got out "I mean it."
Luke rolled his eyes and started the car again. Connecting his phone, he started to play a song.
Satisfied, I close the door firmly. Peering over the car, Vinnie and Elgress were finally getting out of the car.
She was wearing the leggings my backup dancers usually wore. The scaled pattern was too familiar to confuse for anything else.
Why wear something like that of she was trying to stay away from me?
"Only her!" I called to Vinnie when he started to walk around the boot towards her "it's between us!"
"And what you can say to her, you can say to me!" he spread his arms wide "come off it, Tawn!"
"Fuck off!" I jabbed a finger to him and walked around the boot to stand there, scowling "last I checked, she wasn't killing your kids."
Vinnie's face went blank for a moment. Him and Elgress exchanged a nervous look.
"El, over here."
I took a few paces towards the tree at the top of the area. She didn't move. Vinnie did.
He was by her side, talking to her as his eyes flicked to me. She muttered back, straightening.
"We can talk here!" her voice shook when she tried to stand up to me.
I kept walking. Planting my feet at the edge of the shade, I took a few deliberate steps back and gestured to the area before me.
Come to the shade, you liar.
With a nervous glance and a huff, she shuffled forward. Her eyes darted to Luke's car where I saw both boys flip Elgress off. They did the same to Vinnie as his eyes focused on them, turning to face me.
Vinnie leant against the boot of his car with folded arms. He kept his eyes on me as Elgress made her slow walk over.
"Today would be nice" I growled to her "stop stalling."
"Why bring me out here?" she huffed "we could talk by the cars."
"And next to your new best friend so he can tell everyone else what's going on between us?" I scoffed "yeah, right."
"I trust him" she finally stopped right before the shade.
"You trust some horrible people" I looked over to him still leaning and watching.
Elgress' eyes finally found mine and hardened.
"I guess I do" she replied.
I smirked. She was trying so hard to be tough, like she used to be before I scared her.
I took a step back, pointing to the shadow.
"Stand there."
Looking down at her feet, she didn't move.
"If you've got nothing to hide, you'll step forward" I bit out.
She glared and took the step that swallowed her in the shade with me.
I should have been able to see the little lights growing inside her by now. They'd be small, like specks around her middle. All I could see was her. There was nothing else.
Nothing. She really had done it.
She wrapped her arms over herself so it could be disguised by the heat of her body. The sun had scorched into it to make it flare.
"You killed them" I snapped my eyes onto her.
She didn't reply. Her eyes turned to stare around me instead.
"You had thirty days, El" I grimaced to her, trying to keep the pain from my voice "why couldn't you wait? Things were already set out for you."
"Maybe I didn't want to do it again" she growled to the shadows rather than me "I just want to make it work."
"And it was going to!" I threw a hand up, making her flinch.
Her heart was hammering. She couldn't hide that from me without leaving her womb unguarded.
I blew out my breath and folded my arms so movement didn't unnerved her into running off.
"You just had to wait."
She glanced to me and settled elsewhere again.
"I know."
"Why the alcohol?" I pressed now "why would you lie to me about that? El?"
Her lip quivered and I saw her eyes glazing over with tears.
"I didn't know another way to do it" she whispered, sniffling, facing me "I've been bleeding ever since. I-it won't stop."
I should have revelled that she was being punished for her actions. I should have brushed it off like I didn't care; like I did in the bitter fight I envisioned we'd be having now.
But I did. All the hate was squashed under genuine concern for her. I had thought about what I wanted to say and how I wanted her to feel the pain of it all, but for a moment, it was like we were partners again. She was hurting and coming to me for comfort; like she used to.
"I don't know what to say" I mumbled down to her "we've..."
Taking a breath, I saw her body shaking as she tried to withhold her tears from me.
"We've never had to deal with this."
She just nodded. Her words would betray her.
"I just wish you had come to me first" I grimaced, unfolding my arms to offer her a hand "I really do, before you..."
I felt my own gut clenching. The lump forming in my throat burned uncomfortably into my mouth.
"Before you went upstairs" I choked out.
Her eyes lifted at hearing me in pain. Letting out a sob, she bit down on her trembling lips.
"H-how....?"
"Avery" I took another breath and blinked out the forming tears "he heard noises. He told me when I was blinded. I went up there and...."
The room was back in my mind. The sight of the disturbed dirt. The smell of Elgress being there with Ezra still hanging in the air. Balae being there to try and comfort me as I cried to her while having the filth squashed against my scales.
"...I figured out the rest."
"It wasn't what I expected" Elgress frowned at the ground again, wiping her eyes and letting out a little whine "it hurt. A lot."
"It will" I saw her listening closely now "you were supposed to see him when you weren't pregnant. It was going to hurt."
I knew wilder hybrids like him were more brutal in making sure that whatever stuck was theirs. Elgress wasn't going to escape without torture.
She sniffled again and tried to control herself.
"I couldn't understand a word he said" she sobbed out after getting the words out "it w-was scary."
I held out a hand for her to take. Looking at it, there was no hesitation when she did.
"I'm not here to comfort you" I rubbed my thumb over the top of her skin "I'm here to tell you that after what you decided to do to them, you're dead to me."
Her eyes lifted. They frowned at me.
"The bartender helped you and you helped yourself" I told her with growing sternness "we were supposed to return together after this, but I don't want you. I can't trust you."
"Tawn" she breathed out "I can't be with someone like that! It's agony! I can't walk without bleeding through whatever I'm wearing!"
That explained the pants then. Someone else was looking out for her. Vinnie wasn't in the costumes department. I don't think he had anything to do with them, unless it involved squeezing gossip out of any one of those overworked souls that might come across his bar.
"I'm not changing my mind. You made this decision when you drank the alcohol."
I had to be firm on this. I couldn't have a partner who I could no longer trust. She tore me apart in the worst ways possible.
"You broke my heart" I muttered to her.
She grimaced at my pain. Trying to remain strong, she pulled her hand from mine and hugged herself.
"After tonight, I won't be at Paragon" I spoke.
"What? Why?" she gasped now, flaring a little "is it about this?"
"You know why" I gave a little smile to her "when I first came crying to you at the bar, you've always known. He attacked me when I tried to leave. We caught it on video. I'm not going back to that."
Elgress pulled out her own phone to flick through it. Turning it to show me, I saw a photo of her and Vinnie with one of Nisha's makeup artists in their dresser.
What was his name again? Wasn't he there when I attacked Nisha in that very spot?
Reading the scrawl on the mirror, I blinked down at Elgress.
"Nisha and Avery are gone too. There will be no more Paragon if you are all gone. I won't have a job anymore."
The very thing she had been trying to avoid. She'd have to beg for another job quickly or face homelessness. Her power was already cut off. It wouldn't be long until they cut everything else if she didn't scrape together the money.
Was that all that concerned her?
"Good thing you got pregnant then" I just said "you'll have the Naga you need to get out of there. You got what you wanted."
She'd be rich on them. With Paragon empty of its stars, she could just up and leave with Ezra's babies too. Our deal would be broken. She'd have another venomous snake against her. Maybe he'd even turn against me since we had decided to make our trade of mates mutually.
She made this choice. I had to do this for both of our sakes.
I'd have to tell Silera and Balae when I returned tonight. They could have the option to go back to the way things were or take the chance and leave Paragon with me as well. That did leave my own babies in a horrible situation either way. If they decided to follow me, we could set up a new nest away from humans.
However, abandoning a good one now with so many dependant lives was going to tear us apart.
They could chose to stay and either keep the eggs or just wipe them out and start over, like Elgress had done. With Ezra back as their mate, it would be unlikely they would spend precious time incubating what wasn't theirs. I was facing the exact same scenario standing right before me now.
After things were looking so good too. Just thinking about it was making tears roll down my cheeks again.
I could be facing this journey alone. After tonight, I could lose another mate after cutting ties with Elgress.
"I gave it all up" I sniffled "it was going to work."
I was supposed to have at least one chance at a family. Everything had looked so promising.
"Come back then" she tried to hold my hand now "it can work."
Wrinkling my nose, I pulled it from her.
"How can you ask me to go back to that?" I hissed now to make her retract her hand "there are more important things to me than you now. Nothing will make me go back to what we had while looking the other way every time i have to go into that office. I'm going home. I'm going to see my family again; the ones who matter."
"Are you saying I don't matter to you anymore? Even if I changed everything?"
I scoffed and let out a laugh.
"What can you change about this, El?" I waved a hand towards her middle "are you going to kill them too and move onto the next best thing?"
Her face screwed up and curled her hands into fists. Bringing one up, she pointed a finger at me.
"You can't turn that on me! I did what I had to!"
Tears ran through her anger. Mine flowed now too as I scowled back at her.
"You destroyed everything!" I threw my hands up "if you just stayed put, Avery wouldn't have heard you, I wouldn't have gone into that fucking room, we wouldn't be out here, and you wouldn't be pissing blood every time you walk!"
"Oh, so I ruined everything?" she laughed "that's rich coming from you! If you had just stayed put, no-one would have left, everyone wouldn't be losing their jobs, I wouldn't be out here, and I could be fucking happy for once!"
"So I make you that miserable, do I?" I scowled.
She huffed and pouted, gritting her teeth.
"Sometimes!" she growled out, throwing her hands up as she groaned in anger "fuck you for being so stupid and manipulative! Fuck you for making us come all the way out in the middle of nowhere!"
She kicked the dirt. I watched the cloud of dirt billow and sweep away, trying to hide my smirk at the comedy of the action.
She'd rather hurt dirt than me. She was acting kind of childish.
"What the fuck are you smiling at?" Elgress snarled.
"You" I snorted and tried to regain myself "I'm sorry."
There was a little smile back before she reeled it in.
"You aren't taking me seriously!"
"Kick the dirt some more" I offered "maybe then I will?"
She looked down and I snorted, bringing a hand up to press my mouth into the back of.
She still scowled, but the edge was gone. She gave a little snort and growled, facing me.
"Fuck. You" she hissed out each word.
"Fuck you" I simply replied back.
Elgress glared again. I scowled with a small smile.
We just stood there until she groaned and turned away.
I guess this was it then. We were at a stalemate.
"Before you go..." I began as she started to walk.
Elgress stopped, hanging in the light. She shuffled back so I could see her properly again.
"Barbra. You should get some."
She was obviously confused.
"For the pain. People call it Barbra. It's Barbradopoline. It's for, you know, shredding."
"Oh" she realized now and looked down "am I bleeding through? Is it that obvious?"
I shook my head, causing her relief.
"It's better than pain killers for all of you."
Her face fell into guilt. She had already taken some.
"Not in that way" she insisted when my gaze hardened at her immediately "I didn't know what I could take. It was the hybrid one."
"Heat packs and Barbra" I pressed now "no painkillers of any kind. When you don't need Barbra anymore, you should go onto Sensola for the last ten days so they don't try to...."
I wriggled my fingers and mimed biting. Elgress smiled at my bad attempt to soften the blow.
They'd be more active when she got closer. She always complained of pain and the sensation of feeling them moving continuously inside her the closer to birth they got.
We came to a conclusion in the past with other brands. Sometimes Elgress said she'd sort something else out at home. I felt more confident if she was taking something I knew was safe and effective. At least she would know what to get now that I wouldn't be there to give it to her.
It wasn't for me anymore. I had to think of the future without her.
"Do what's right by Ezra. Please."
"I don't know if they'll even make it that far" her eyes pleaded back.
"They will" I walked to her side and faced her "just don't do anything risky, like swing from chandeliers."
She snorted. I smiled.
"He wants a family too. Just as badly. He'll do anything to stop you taking them."
Concern creased her face. She nodded once.
"Thanks for the head up."
It wasn't for her. I just didn't want Ezra to be dragged into legal issues if he attacked her over it all. We were on the shaky line of tolerating each other. Once I was gone, he'd be the only male left. Who knew if Bruce was going to be stupid enough to target him next?
"Get a translator too" I added "or learn some basic Heshier. 'Yes' and 'no' would be a good starting point."
Elgress' eyes narrowed at me. She was offended I was trying to dictate her now.
"It's for your own good" I warned her "Ezra is different. He won't be as understanding as I am."
She scoffed.
"Understanding? Right."
"I'm serious" I glared to her.
"So am I" she replied.
We stared each other down again. Turning her head, Elgress looked to Vinnie.
"Am I good to go or do you want to tell me anything else?" she asked.
Huffing at her attitude, I folded my arms.
"I'll be deleting your number from my phone" I said "you need to rely on Ezra now. I'm not going to be there to help you."
I saw her expression change before she swallowed and nodded.
"And don't cross your side of the roof" I made sure she was looking at me when I turned to her again "I'm really serious about this. Silera will kill you if you try to go near her while she has a nest. None of them trust you."
I saw her eyes look me over and a brow lift.
"You work quickly" her voice came out short "kind of biased, don't you think? Turning everyone against me."
"I didn't need to do that" I grumbled back "they made up their own minds."
"Like them?" Elgress tilted her head to Luke's car.
Levi was sleeping in the back now, his head pressed against the window. Luke hunched over the wheel, obviously bored with staying put.
Smiling at them, I felt myself inflating with pride at the boys.
"They gave up their jobs for me. I'm not letting them get hurt over something they aren't involved in" I eyed Elgress now "it'll have to get through me first."
It wasn't just a statement, it was a warning. Elgress understood when she saw my hard expression staring right through her.
She was burning with silent anger at my vow and the heat leeching through the shade we bordered. I didn't need to taste it to confirm what was right before me.
"Don't fuck with snakes" she muttered as she faced away again "got it."
"After this birth, I highly suggest you leave Paragon; if it's still running by then" I spoke as I faced outward once more "get your money and leave. You won't be welcome back there."
"Are you threatening me?" her voice lifted.
"I'm letting you know what will happen" I scowled at Vinnie facing us "once you sell those babies, you'll have more than just me against you."
Her head turned slightly.
"Are we enemies now?"
I refused to look at her. Straightening, I took a breath to steady myself.
"We are nothing" I stated again "like we should have been to begin with."
If I didn't let myself get roped into doing what I thought was right, I wouldn't be in this mess. I wouldn't be dealing with the heartbreak of losing everything all in one day.
"This will most likely be the last time we see each other face-to-face" I told her "once I'm gone, I'm not letting another human con me again."
I was certain of that. I'd grow wild in my home grounds and live the life I was supposed to; keeping my family safe and providing for them.
No flashy tricks. No stupid acts. I'd shed everything that made me human and start over.
"So, that's it then?" she breathed out "it's all over."
I nodded once.
"It's all over. You go your way and I'll go mine."
Elgress turned to me. I glanced but refused to do the same.
"Well then, I wish you all the best."
She gave a little smile when I glanced again. This time I kept my head focused on her.
"You too" I softened slightly at seeing her genuine sincerity.
"Goodbye then, Tawn."
She started for the sunlight again.
This really was it. All these years, gone in a few minutes.
I really was going to cut all my ties to return home, starting with our entire relationship and anything belonging to my prison in Paragon.
"El!" I called.
She stopped in the sunlight. I stepped out to meet her there.
"It's Tsawilaun."
"Sar-we-lawn?" she played with it in her mouth into something she could understand "obviously you get Tawn from that."
I chuckled with her.
"Obviously."
"Well, Lawny" she smirked "let's hope we don't meet again when you are wild and free."
Walking by her side, I chuckled.
"Hopefully not."
I went as far as the boot of Luke's car. Watching Elgress carry on the rest of the way alone, I felt my heart squeezing on itself.
This was it. Nothing could bring back the old Elgress I once loved as a younger, hopeful teen. The one I recorded that stupid voice message with. The one I laughed and cried with. The one who I used to trust with everything I had.
"El!" I called again when she was heading to the front passenger door.
"Yeah?"
"Good luck with it all" I gave a little smile.
She returned it, opening the door to hold on to it. Vinnie waited by the driver's side, door open as well that he leant on.
"I hope you find your family" she replied.
Smiling, I nodded and saw her flash a little wave. Returning it, I entered the car to instantly feel the temperature difference of the air-con running.
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"You all buddy-buddy with her again?" Luke asked with acidity in his voice as he eyed Vinnie pulling the car out.
He tracked the car with me, glaring to the both of them quickly heading back down the bumpy road.
Pulling out my phone, I tapped into Elgress' contact.
"We just settled things like adults" I said as I stared at the smiling face of the younger Elgress I had saved years ago. I was there too, but had cropped myself out to just get her rounded, sparkling face in the circle.
She hung her arm off my neck. We both grinned like idiots in our glittering getup to the phone balanced on the same table still there years later.
In recent years, we hadn't posed together like that. We had more important things to worry about than a photo for a phone contact. She manned the bar and I contorted in the cage. When she was up on the chandelier, I was still doing the same thing in the same cage below.
I was trapped in more ways than one.
Pulling up the options, I pressed the delete button, confirming it when it tried to ask if I was sure.
Luke saw this. I had my phone down in my lap as Elgress promptly disappeared. Moving into my messages, I deleted the conversation now registered to an unknown number.
She was gone for good.
"That's rough" Luke's voice dropped.
"It's the way things have to be" I simply said, locking my phone to have the background flash up of the same old photo I had used for the contacts.
We were throwing up peace signs. We wore glamorous costumes that hadn't been seen again in years. Not a chain was in sight. I was still blindly trusting back then. I didn't need the weight to keep me sluggish when I thought Bruce was best for me.
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This would have been three weeks before he first tried to rape me. I was so naive. I thought something good was going to happen. Only special people got to go up those stairs.
I looked almost like Luke and Levi. Young and outspoken; trying to impress bigger people in their lives. I could see the alcove beside us they would first inhabit many years after this photo. The curtains had been pinned right back with rope. The place looked deceivingly bright and beautiful.
"I don't want you two to ever go back there" I told Luke firmly "I can't have what happened to me to happen to someone as good as you or Levi. You're both too young to go through that shit."
The same age I was. It tortured me that I didn't have anyone back then to run to when I threw up and sobbed over the toilet; when I first started bleeding from the force of it all. I couldn't run anywhere. I couldn't tell anyone for years.
Bruce liked danger. The more they fought, the worse it would be. He would take their fangs too; make them compliant.
Luke frowned and grimaced. He dropped his eyes down.
"We won't" he mumbled, lifting his eyes up briefly "I'm sure somewhere out there will be better, eventually."
"There will be."
There had to be for them. I'd never be at peace if I knew they'd go back to that place when I wasn't here to look out for them anymore.
Promptly holding down a finger over the background, I swapped it to a default image of rolling wheat fields and sunshine.
It was just as fake and deceiving. Who knew if a place like that even existed out there anymore?
Everything was gone. It was like she never existed.
It really was a clean slate now. I don't know if I was meant to be proud or upset about that.
At least it was a step in the right direction.
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"Hey....." Luke started again, uneasily "Levi's dad has this thing tonight that he was wondering you'd like to join?"
I looked over to him, surprised.
"It's a bit silly" Luke smirked "his dad goes to a meat market and gets these cuts in some paper and brings it home so they can chop it up and eat it. It's supposed to 'connect them with their natural roots'. Thought you'd like it."
I snorted, trying not to wake Levi.
"Are you serious?" I leant close and dropped my voice further.
He nodded, giggling.
"It's silly but his dad takes it very seriously. We head home beforehand so his mum can make us food that is actually cooked first. Raw meat makes Levi very sick."
Frowning at the poor kid, I felt sorry for him.
"And what about you?"
Luke shrugged.
"I can handle it to an extent. Not as much as you, Rat Killer. His dad will flip when he hears about that; in a good way, of course."
He gave me a little shove. There was a smile. He thought I'd love this idea. He was being unusually chipper about it.
"Besides, it'd be good to spend time with you before you leave for good."
Ah, so that's why. The thought was hurting him. He just didn't want to admit it.
"I won't say no to more food" I grinned.
I was full, but it'd be rude to refuse an offer like this. I could always throw it up if I needed to, depending on how good the cuts of meat were and how much I was offered.
"Oh, and there is one more thing...."
Luke grimaced now.
Worry set in.
"What is it?"
"He only speaks Heshier. He's strict about it. Are you going to be ok with that? He's kind of.... old school."
That word again. Did that mean his dialect was dated too? I knew Heshier very well, but older words were foreign to me. I was taught what was important to know out in the wild. Beyond that was still rusty. It was incredibly embarrassing to admit that I was still learning my own tongue after all these years.
"I'll keep up" I smiled "I'll help you guys out too."
"His mum speaks English too" Luke relaxed gratefully and slipped back into the driver seat so he could start the car "she's really nice. You'll meet her first before his dad comes home."
I clipped myself back in and leant over to make sure Levi was still secured. Pulling the guitar off him, I held onto it so it wouldn't be smacked into him when we eventually came across that bumpy road again.
"She'll probably try and convince you to stay the night" Luke grinned through the rear view mirror, before pausing "where are you going to stay now you are out of there? You don't have a place, do you?"
"I was going to go back" I spoke up, interrupting Luke's flaring mood "only to talk to Silera and Balae. I've got to get my things too. Bruce will be too busy flying off the handle to notice me getting my things. I'll be in and out."
"I'm sure we can get Balae's number somewhere" Luke offered, slowing right down for the potholes "so you don't need to go back there."
Smiling back, I could see he was trying his best to keep me from harm again.
"It's something I've got to see them face-to-face about. Heshier stuff."
"Ah" Luke grumbled, irritated "that's annoying."
I agreed, knowing it was only annoying for him because he wouldn't be able to understand any of it. It was kind of amusing.
"But, once I'm out, I could always use a lift back?" I asked "we could do something before I go? I haven't exactly been anywhere other than inside Paragon and across a river lately."
Luke lightened. In his distraction, he took a pothole a little too hard, smacking Levi's head on the window and waking him instantly.
He grumbled and groaned, blinking over to me holding his guitar.
"How did it go?" his face pulled into a weak smile.
"He's joining you for Meat Night" Luke called, smashing us against the doors now that Levi was awake.
"Meat Night?" I choked out "that's what he calls it?"
"It's so embarrassing" Levi threw his hands out to try and stabilize himself as I did the same "you don't have to come if you don't want to."
"And let you miss out on listening to sss ssss sssss all night?" I chuckled, trying to buffer a blow to my head as I flickered my tongue through a laugh "I could never."
Levi blushed, trying to hide his smile. He turned his head, smacking it on the glass and crying out.
Luke laughed at him when he swiped towards his friend.
"Seriously though" I started when he managed to wrangle the side of Luke's face to squeeze it "thank you for having me over."
He slumped back and tried to shrug off my seriousness.
"We have to stick together, don't we?"
"Cold blood-brothers!" Luke declared as we were thrown over the last of the bumps.
Catching our breaths again, we took a moment to recompose ourselves and our churned stomachs.
"Besides, I wouldn't come out to the middle of nowhere for just anyone" Luke turned to me "but I guess I could make an exception for you two...."
"Oh, sure" Levi rolled his eyes at the joke, shaking his head "like being stuck here with you is any better."
You could cut the sexual tension with a knife. It was starting to make itself known as the silence grew louder.
"Now, now" I snorted, keeping it light "save it for later. We've still got to get back before you guys are forced to eat raw meat."
"Make sure we don't miss mum's cooking!" Levi tapped Luke's chair to urge him to get us moving again "thanks for the reminder, Tawn."
I leant back, making myself comfortable now that the worst of it was over. I passed across the guitar that Levi cradled across his lap lovingly, picking at the strings lightly.
If missing some deadline and eating delicious raw meat was the worst thing that would happen now, life was going to be pretty simple. A lot easier than it had been just this morning.
I chuckled to myself at how absurd it all was. After tonight, I had no stress in my life. It would just be me and my path to finding my family again.
It would be a long journey; as it had been to get here many years ago, but it was one I was swelling with happiness thinking about.
The tales I could tell Mama. The things I'd share with Papa. And my siblings... I wonder how many there would be?
They'd know all about Paragon and the incredible things I did. They didn't need to know the filth i'd breath through tears to my parents under the cover of darkness and away from prying eyes and ears.
I'd tell them about Luke and Levi, the snake performers. About the silly Meat Night I was about to have that civilized snakes had to try and imitate what we had out there. How I met a kind Collosal who loved a Shoebill and a wild Naga. The way I performed amazing fetes beside a monkey with no tail and a bird with no wings.
It'd be so simple. So easy. I'd see the stars again as I told my life's tales to siblings I never met. They'd hang onto my every word like my other siblings used to when we made up stories of the world outside our fields.
I would enjoy life as it should be.
Finally free.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
