Epilogue
Emily emigrated to Africa, she lives a few miles away from me. She is still very much in love with her husband. Her sons are schooling abroad. She has established a successful firm. The sky is the limit.
We have not been apart at all. She drives now, like a maniac I might add, but she is still the one I go to when life becomes intolerable. Her home is my refuge it shall always be just that.
Gwendoline only had one son. She became ill, and is undergoing treatment. She has raised Arthur well, he is obedient, witty and smart. He is in Law-school. I worry about Gwendoline; however, she reassures me daily that she is receiving the best care in the world.
She has extended an invitation to me to visit them in New Zealand. I am still thinking on it.
Henry never remarried. He has courted here and there but never anything serious. I do take care of the home. I am getting too old and frail to continue on for much longer.
Two years to the day, after I had been back here, I took a flight out, and I visited Gran and Inkosi’s graves, I shall add, because I needed them to save me from Harry. I told you so! Time.
Henry has no idea what that old goat is doing to me. The abuse only got worse, because I am frail. I am too tired to fight back. Maybe one day. Or maybe never, I am too tired now.
I have not heard from Leo in many years, I have heard he got married. God help the poor woman.
I have told this tale, not because I sought pity, nah I don’t need anything besides a little peace now.
I believe I have been punished for my sins, and I dare say, it’s enough now.
I did ask Henry why he allowed Harry back into our lives. And he answered “He is my father.”
That concluded that conversation.
I no longer sketch, that arthritis in my hands has crippled me. I do bake ginger bread men every Christmas. I have not heard from Liam. It seems he fell off the face of the Earth. So be it.
I do have a cat, a naught fellow, but I adore him so much, he is truthfully the solace I need. My life didn’t turn out the way I had hopped. I don’t think I had many dreams, not even as an adolescent. I guess I wanted to live, and in many ways I did, because of the people whom had entered my life.
I have lived much longer than I had anticipated. I have no idea when my body will shut down. I shall admit I shall not fight it, not this time. I have done what I set out to do, be it right or wrong.
I heard a while back, that Inkosi’s grave was robbed, I had buried him as traditionally as I was permitted those years. I think it might be a blessing, I had confided him in that box, he sought it time to get out of it. I shall not return. I know he watches over me, as I know Ben does in his own way.
I don’t go to the town here, I just can’t find a place I like, a few years back I took a bus back to Port-Natal. I decided I needed a break from Harry.
So much have changed, and yet again so much has stayed the same, the train station is no longer being used. The shop I use to buy my pies at closed down.
People of all walks of life now walk hand in hand down the road. I stare not because I am racist, I just never thought I would live to see it with my own two eyes.
I never courted again, nah Harry broke any hope I had in me the day he returned.
My aunt Mary passed away, she lived a full and a long life. We never spoke after I had left. I cannot turn back time, sometimes communication is a two-way street.
I have walked through the same museums I had described to Inkosi.
I have walked on the beach. I miss him. I didn’t swim. I am too old now, I struggle to walk long distances. There are other means of getting from A to Z.
I think I shall be back again one day. I don’t think I shall return to the farm. That part of my life is ancient history. Some doors need to stay closed.
I still don’t sleep, I get up and I cook, it’s a habit I cannot break, I can’t cook as well as Gran, I have tried throughout the years, but I failed. I know now that her upbringing and mine were very different. I went to boarding school for most of my youth and she cooked and took care of a home when she turned thirteen. I shall always respect and love her, she was very dear to me.
I have not attempted to find out who my parents were. I came to the conclusion after my father had died, that it wasn’t very important to me. I do know I have a step-sister who lives in Canada. I have never met her, never spoken to her. And I don’t see the need as to why I should.
Thank Gwendoline, this new age has my mind boggled.
I dedicated these memoirs to Emily. I think I would have been in my grave a long time ago, if she hadn’t stayed this close to me, figuratively and literally.
Henry and I have drifted apart; the second Harry came back it was cast in stone.
Live and let live. I do watch the tele, I have to say I am appalled at what I see at times, so much nudity was banned in my younger years. Yeah I am a relic, I am happy to be just that.
I try and watch documentaries, much on animals and history. That’s by far more palatable.
I do use the computer, but I only know how to type with two fingers. To think I was a typist and now this device scares me shitless. It is a very brilliant device I have to say.
I know which buttons to push, and I can see Gwendoline on the screen, isn’t that amazing?
I feel closer to her when I see her and Patrick, and occasionally Arthur when he is home. He took after Patrick in every way. I know he will open his practice, if that’s the correct word, in London.
It was inconceivable to think we could ever live in London. We wanted to, but it’s so busy, all the time, the clothes these youngsters wear, Gran would have fainted.
I guess I have told you all I could. And I thank you, if you are the person reading this. Thank you for taking the time to pick up a book, and for reading my tale. I know it’s not one that’s ends with happily ever after. I don’t believe it’s meant for all of us. But I do believe in true love.
I dare say, maybe that’s been reserved for another life time. Inkosi believe wholeheartedly that we live on. I guess I shall find out sooner or later
I thank the person whom has listened, she has brought peace to my soul, I don’t think my heart knows what peace is. Nah I still feel trapped, even in my old age, I am still alive, just older.
Live and let live, and keep a little box in your heart and fill it with your fondest memories.
THE END
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