There were no arms to wrap around me like I wanted when I arrived home.
The furthest they could stretch was around my head that nuzzled into the warm body I sobbed into.
No words were exchanged. Whenever I tried to speak; to explain what I had seen, only clicks and scratching came out of the jagged beak that had replaced my mouth.
I was a monster now. The only indicator I had once been something more was the tag still around my ear
Once I had been coddled by my parents, I spent my time with my head in Lavender's lap as she stroked the top of my face and spoke softly to me.
It was nice the way her fingers found the ends of each feather there and played with it. She had a way of reaching all the itchy spots I couldn't.
I could spend all day there in the sun with her. She had a way of making it feel like we were how we had been before this monstrosity took over.
I couldn't fit into the house anymore. I couldn't even squieze onto the verandah or hide away in my bed that I yearned for.
I slept outside like a pet now by the front door.
The trees down near the river gave me some sort of shelter, but it wasnt what I wanted.
I wanted to be with her. To snuggle into her side and just talk about what was playing over and over in my head.
The tastes I would get at the back of my throat. The sounds echoing in my ears, the reminders of what I had seen every time the front door slammed against its frame, or the chairs scraped the floor when dinner was done.
I just wanted to speak.
But, I couldn't.
Scratchings in the dirt formed the letters I wanted, but were somehow lost in translation. Anything I wrote was only met with confusion on the other side.
It looked fine to me, so why didn't it to them?
I gave up on that when I saw how pointless it was becoming. There was no way to get anything across, and I had to bitterly accept that now.
One thing I could make anyone understand was my growing love for flying.
It was exhilarating to be so weightless and in control of every movement in the air.
There was nothing out here to stop me when I sped upwards into the sky, or hovered around treetops to flick branches with my claws on the way down.
Feelings that would have been undiscovered were flooding me all at once in a world seen in a new perspective.
It was the only thing that truly thrilled me now.
I couldn't work anymore because of my mutations. I had no friends to see other than those still stuck in work. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRI75ct4K4W
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And I didn't think any of the others on Able's farm would appreciate seeing me so far gone.
I was too ashamed to see them like this. I had made a promise to Able I had all intentions of keeping.
She would only see me when I was how she remembered.
Other than the tender moments with Lavender outside out home, and the more playful ones from Mum and Dad, I was alone.
I could understand why River had acted the way he had when he had mutated this far. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEQXhAcWDQ
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It was terrifying to suddenly not be understood and be faced with family who felt more like strangers.
I didn't know who to trust anymore. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xmgfSMTfN
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I had to protect myself from being dragged into isolation now, even by those I had been raised by.
All it would take was one slip of judgement and all of this would be gone.
Lavender brought up the topic too when my head rested in her lap. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JekuxEVVE
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It was always when I was settled and relaxed too. She sure had a way of making all that change in an instant with only a few words.
I could understand her worry. Not reporting it was a serious offense. Sooner or later, the humans in that office would realise I hadn't returned for an update on my tag and grow suspicious.
They knew everything about me. They knew where I lived.
And that's how they found me.
I should have known the day would come. It had been a month since I had mutated at that demon tip; a blissful month spent with my worried family caring for me as I remained close to home.
I never flew too far or made too much noise. I wanted to make sure everyone knew I wasn't just going to leave now that I had been granted an opportunity to.
I was going to be good so they wouldn't want to get rid of me.
I had nowhere else to go.
But I was too comfortable here, and they found me.
I was flitting over the grass for Lavender's entertainment when the cars pulled up at the bottom of the property.
Instantly, I returned to her side at the log she sat on in her party area.
I saw Mum poke her head out the window from the kitchen, and hear Dad get up from the seat there.
We knew what this meant immediently. We had run out of time.
I saw actual fear in Mum's face for the first time. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8341IZHIZa
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She hadn't even been scared when I had returned home in this new form, only saddened by her not being able to reach me in time.
I saw her hands slam the window shut before she disappeared to rush to the front door.
"Lavender, come here."
Lavender left me without hesitation. She ran for the safety of her mother's arms and peered back at me.
"Teddy" Dad called from behind Mum now "up on the roof."
There was no telling me twice. I scrabble for the hot surface to clutch the peak of it and press my body to the slope facing towards the river.
It didn't hide my huge form, but it did offer some sort of shield from the five officials already filing out of the car with three large suitcases, and around the front door.
I saw eyes gaze up at me before each person entered. One remained behind to lean against the front fence there, smoking.
I wasnt going anywhere with such suspicious people here. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbCUSimv9m
119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnaykB00yZ
Just the sight of the one smoking made all the feathers along my body bristle up defensively.
I didn't want them anywhere near my home or family. But, they ignored how unwelcome they were and intruded anyway.
I could hear muffled voices inside and hear the scraping of seats again. There was the clinking of cutlery and glass on the tabletop as I inched towards it, planting my body over where the kitchen would be.
A moment of silence acknowledged that they had heard my scraping nails shift me closer before the rumbling chatter started up again.
I didn't like how casual it all sounded. There was no heated argument or threats being screamed to the strangers gathered inside. There was even laughter at one point.
Were Mum and Dad being persuaded to hand me over? Sprig too?
I could feel the anger of it all building inside me. My breaths now growled through me as I remained pinned to that roof.
The smoker only stubbed out the cigarette when everyone gathered out the front of the house to gaze up at me there.
Suitcases were laid on the ground to reveal the tools and weapons nestled within foam padding.
One was a silver gun with a ridiculously long barrel that had a box of ammo to accompany it.
Another held the coloured tags and piercer that was handed to Lavender immediently. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39JAgoDDRM
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I saw her study the tool with confusion and sadness.
The other one was still closed. It stayed that way too as everyone lined up neatly.
A man from the group cupped his hands around his mouth while the others remained silent.
I didn't like the way everyone was being so strange. I let it be known through my growling breaths and accompanying snap of my beak.
"Teddy!" the man began "I'm Richie! I'm here to take off your tag today!"
I saw another man aim the gun at me but not fire. The barrel trained right on my face.
I wasn't going to fall for that. No-one bought a gun to a simple tag exchange.
Did they think I was that far gone?
"I've given Lavender the machine! I know that you trust her. She's not going to hurt you!"
He was talking like I didn't even know my own human. The way he slowed down his speach was demeaning.
"Its alright!" Sprig shouted to me now "It's just me!"
Using her as bait. That was tricky and clever, I had to give them that.
"I'm going to have Lavender walk out into the field" Richie continued, pointing to the clear area of grass I had been performing over "she can take it off there. No-one else will follow her."
True to his word, Lavender stood out in the field alone with a single red tag in her other hand. She held the piercer up so I could see it, appearing to be nervous.
Of course she was. These strangers were pulling the strings to her every movement now to have the situation in thier favour.
But, Sprig was alone. There was such a huge difference between them that none of the officials would be able to reach her if they did try to ambush me when I left the roof.
I could save Sprig and get her away from all of this. Mum and Dad would hate me for acting so recklessly by hauling her into the air with me, but they would be next when I returned for them.
I would play the part.
I checked the gun still trained on me and launched myself into the air. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33JYH37lHt
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It didn't fire, only following when I drifted down to Sprig to stand opposite her.
I couldn't grab her just yet. I'll make my move once this tag was off.
"Teddy, don't be mad" she whispered when I lowered my head to her, nudging her body with my face "I'll be gentle."
The tool snapped around the tag and punched through the hole already there. With it still embedded, Lavender reached up to pry the loop open and force the tag free once more by releasing the point.
I saw her smile at me and felt something stab into the side of my shoulder.
A fuzzy red tip of a dart dangled there when I snarled at the piercing pain. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VmGvgTjfC
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I swiped the dart from my skin and lowered my head to scream at the officials, spreading my wings to protect Sprig from any other darts.
She bolted for Dad with tears in her eyes and squeezed him as she burried her head into his side, sobbing.
Betrayal stung deep and bubbled in my gut at the abandonment.
SPRIG! She had left me for them to catch!
Now that there was no civilians in the way, another dart was shot into my side to make me scream at the metal gouging through me.
I snapped it off too and leapt upwards for the momentum to find safety in the skies.
"Get him!" I heard the man bark viciously.
Another dart tore into my back leg that I tried kicking off unsuccessfully.
I kept climbing higher over the property, stalling for more time with my family huddled below.
The best way to protect them now was by leaving. The officials would only follow after thier prize.
I had to leave them.
I screamed out at the frustration of the situation I had been left with. With more darts being shot at me, I was forced to speed away.
I didn't even look back when I pushed my wings to shoot me through the skies and over the treetops. I darted lower, wanting to use the trees to create a barrier between me and anymore darts.
Steering away from the road bought me precious time to create distance. There was only so far a car could go when it was limited by people's boundaries and property lines.
I kept heading inwards and over masses of forestry. The trees here grew thick and tall, pointing upwards like spears beneath my claws.
I was grateful I still had sunlight left to scope out my unfamiliar surroundings. If the officials had left it any later, I might have circle myself right around to a location more accessible for them.
But, I kept going; further from home and family.
When I saw the land drop off sheer cliffs into the crashing ocean below, I pulled myself back towards the comfort of land and aimed for the break along the face to make my landing.
I crippled myself when my claws snatched for the dirt of the cliff and felt the full force of the dart bury deeper into my leg that constricted the boiling metal piercing it.
Electricity speared through me from the impact; each branch of the overwhelming agony leaping through my trembling body forcing myself to continue on.
I couldn't break this last dart or even swat it with my other foot. I could only hobble into the treeline that shielded me with its shade gratefully.
I felt safer amongst the darkness. There was no roads or even nearby towns here. It was only the scattered forest and the crashing waves of the spraying ocean breeze.
Gulls sailed the cliff face here, but in silence. They were not the screaming beasts fighting for brutal survival in the tip. Food was plentiful here, and threats were minimal. It was a quiet and peaceful place.
The rich soil was moist with the salty breeze from the waves. It smelled fantastic and fresh beneath my claws that cut through it as I dragged my leg behind me.
The whole flank had gone numb at the points of pain that had spread through me. I could feel the tingling already working over my back like a saddle the more I tried to fight it.
I didn't want to give up like this. I had to make sure I was somewhere I knew was safe so I could rip out the dart tips and find a way of doing it without tearing off my flesh in the process.
I kept heading straight. Logically, it was a dumb move that would have anyone able to follow the trial I dragged behind me, but physically it was the only direction I could go.
Dirt was scraped away on either side of me when my arm gave out and fell to the ground with my other leg.
All the strain was placed onto my only arm now that scooped my body forward mere inches at a time.
I didn't know where I was going. All I knew was that I had to keep moving to find somewhere I was truly safe.
On the ground was not it. The forestry did offer some protection from anything lurking above, but below, I was easy game.
When I felt the lead flowing through my fingertips, I decided to stop moving.
As a last resort, I focused on covering myself instead.
White feathers contrasted the dark wood and deep green leaves all around me. Even in the rich, brown soil, they were blinding.
I threw dirt frantically over myself with my only hand that slowly started to grow sluggish.
I even wedged my beak into the soil to try and cover my face unsuccessfully.
But, as each finger seized up and my arm dropped to the dirt beside me, I was left paralysed and panicked.
I couldn't even call for help if I wanted to. My tongue felt like it had swollen and stuck to the bottom of my beak like a tacky teatowel threatening to choke me.
All I could move was my eyes, but even they were struggling to focus on the trees ahead of me.
Nothing wanted to co-operate, and that's what terrified me the most.
I wanted my arms and legs to move but they simply wouldn't. I felt like I was being magnitised to the dirt and crushed into the soft surface showered over me.
I could feel the drugged sleep trying to tear me into its grip. My eyes rolled as they tried to fight it, the lids struggling to force themselves open again each time they touched.
Then, the haze spun the world beneath me and relaxed all tension and struggle I had left.
I didn't want to sleep. I couldn't fall asleep here.
I couldn't fight it though. It finally hooked around me and dragged all my worries away as I was plunged into peace.
The bitter bite of cold air was what snapped my brain into registering I had feeling back into my limbs.
The next was the itching burrowing across my face that I swiped at before realising what I had done.
My arms and legs felt like they had bones in them again and could finally support my weight I carefully pushed into each one.
I wasn't game enough to test my wings yet, so a shake of the feathers was enough to feel that none had been damaged while I had been unconcience.
I felt the soil had turned sludgy beneath my nails that were now black from the filth.
I could see the whole underside of my body had sunk into the dirt that formed its thick, dripping blanket over me.
My back had been spared from the mud, but was drenched through.
Had it rained?
It wasn't now, but the air was thick with humidity and rich scents of nature soaking up the relief.
I was just thankful I hadn't been attacked. Nothing felt different or painful. It was like I was numb to everything trying to process inside me.
Was it still the drugs?
I stretched, savouring the cracking of my stiff bones jolting back into place and the muscle adjusting to the movement. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzCYFxL3XD
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It was delightful just to have the time to relax and focus on myself before the hum of urgency returned to push me onwards.
My wings still felt like they were dragging on the ground rather than pressing to my sides. Now that I realised the extra weight that had been soaked into them, I saw how clumsy they were when I pulled them outwards.
There was no way I was flying anywhere like this anytime soon.
I needed to warm up. I didn't even know how cold I was until the air swept across my back and tickled at the tiny layer of warmth trapped against my frozen skin.
The weather was nice enough to achieve that. I could see the burn of sunlight being filtered through the leaves around me, and drying out patches of muck I trudged through.
The trees around me eventually widened thier stance and let more sunlight through. The ground crumbled from its cooked top layer, sending my caked feet into the cold mud hiding beneath.
It only hardened into a suitable surface when I saw the trees suddenly stop and form a halo around a clearing. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuBG4B6KqB
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On the other side of the halo was a mass of sticks and fabric woven together around several clumped trees to form a nest near the peaks.
Below it was a concrete block that looked like it had the gendered toilet signs stuck to each side.
The clearing around it was brightly bathed in sunlight that radiated the natural beauty of the lush grass and its peppered wildflowers swaying there.
But then I saw the humans and thier demons.
They were lazing on picnic blankets throughout the field, watching others play amongst it or chase pets. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbgfOmntR3
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Only a few were mutated, but nothing too drastic to warrant a tag in the ear or cause fear amongst the other strangers.
The left side had been cleared to make way for a gravel parking spot that was lined with cars.
These were too many people for my liking. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfnwihp13Z
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But the sun I needed was right there on the other side of the shade...
I crept my way from the treeline and darted across the shadows to plant myself down at the edge of it.
It was only a few meters from safety. Even though I was nowhere near the groups, I had never felt more exposed and worried.
I needed to get these wings working again so I could go home and see my family again.
Spreading them out only drew attention of some who had watched my scramble to the light.
They all stayed where they were and admired at a distance. Some even took photos on thier phones.
If only my family could understand me. A phone would be very useful to let them know I was fine and that I hadn't abandoned them.
It must have looked so bad when I was being attacked. There was nothing about anything that I did that would make them believe I was ever going to return.
That would have broke Sprig's heart. Mum and Dad would be beside themselves with worry at where I was or what had happened to me.
I had to make things right as soon as I could.
The sun was baking my feathers quite nicely as I laid there in the grass. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2J4ilWJ0a9
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The mud was still damp on my belly I kept flat to the grass while I kept watch for any movement towards me from the strangers.
There was one that caught my eye. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRJ1Nyq8Bm
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It was a little demon playing with someone's dog. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQArIX9Uvgz
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It never stayed in the same spot though, flitting between the groups of strangers to engage in thier conversation or snatch up food offered from thier spreads to stuff it into its mouth.
The grey jumper it wore was stained and far too large for its tiny body. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1LWmg0GAz
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I saw it had rolled up the ends of its light grey longs to stop tripping on them. The ends were so stained and scuffed they were the same colour as its jumper.
The orange hair of the demon was a wild, tangled mess that could never be salvaged. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt19tRn8JGx
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It even had little leaves and twigs caught in it that stuck out at odd angles when the demon ran about happily.
It defiantly confused me to its vibrant colour I hadn't seen in others like it. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmN9EpEAm6B
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Its skin was the usual black of the demons sprinkled in the field around it, however, the markings on this little one were patches of orange spread across its nose and down its neck. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvzUnClg73
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Its little horns were the same orange, lost amongst the hair.
Its black eyes met mine and it stopped its antics to smile at me, slowly advancing.
Even though it was just a small child, it still made me nervous.
I lifted my body up only at the front since I was still unsure on what it's intentions were. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQYh8AXTFS
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I still needed to dry out here and was determined on not giving up my prime position to some kid. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGR72kHTMY
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But I was also ready to run back to the forest if I needed to.
"You are new!" it gasped in amazement "you're another one of the dead birds!"
Dead birds? Wait, did this little kid know about the demon tip?
How?
I saw the hole in its perked ears that had long ago healed. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGT9rDUq77
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It had been tagged once too, just like me. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqVXWsm1zl
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My wound was still fresh. I could feel the air licking at the scabbing edges that Lavender had unintentionally reopened when she had torn the tag out.
"Are you scared?" it giggled, jumping forward and throwing its hands upwards "rahhh!"
It laughed at my body jolting to the sudden movement and jumped forward again with another elaborate display of false aggression.
The tone was higher pitched and young. The demon was a girl of about seven or eight.
I didn't like this kid. She was getting way too close for comfort.
I got to my feet to make the kid stop its game and stand there. With my full height now revealed to it, it was intimidated and hesitant.
"Who's scared now?" I bit back and stomped my claws towards the kid with a growl that sent it scurrying backwards.
It didn't bolt back to the onlookers though, lifting its head up with a huge smile and an excited squeal.
I looked upwards when shadow washed over me, carrying through the field to the massive nest.
Another demon sailed through the air fiercely while clutching the carcass of a small cat in its beak.
It was exactly like me in colouring and mutations. The feathers on this beast were glossy in the sunlight that washed over them when it settled into its nest to tear apart the cat.
The nesting demon was much larger than I was. It also had a faded red tag grown into its ear that looked more pink now from what must have been years of weathering.
Something so massive providing such a small catch made me wonder about how plentiful food actually was around here.
I would need to eat something before I headed back home. Something other than household cats, of course.
"Mama!" the little demon squealed to the demon feasting loudly "look, it's Mama!"
The others on thier blankets didn't move and only chuckled at the excitement oozing from the little girl. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq0e191MxB
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They knew about the demon nesting here and weren't frightened by its appearance. If anything, they marveled it.
It caught me in wonder too. Not because of our striking replication of each other, but because of the three little begging beaks that I saw wavering for the food being forced into them.
It had me stunned on how it was possible.
Demons couldn't have children. Female demons weren't even able to carry them, let alone birth them.
But there were three reasons that defied that logic. I highly doubted the little girl climbing up the trees supporting the nest was even that demon's own child.
Could... I have a chance with Lavender then?
Actually become a father? 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNjNkwQjlP
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That would be her dream come true, and mine.
Once we got ourselves a home of our own, we would actually have a chance to start the family she wanted so badly.
How had this chance been hiding from me all along?
It was possible. I was seeing it right there.
I could feel the tears running down my face when I watched the mother dote over the children beneath her. The little demon snuggled into her feathers, jumping up to point to the skies again.
I watched another shadow sail by until the feathers of a second demon gripped the edge of the nest to deliver its tiny offering of someone's beloved dog.
This demon wasn't like the seagull the first had mutated into to survive. It's own feathers were gleaming like metal; striped with the dirty yellow of the escavator that had been dumping and crushing bodies. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCVrIK8VKk
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The feathers were mangled but still able to barely lift its body into the sky. It took a lot more effort for the second to gain the ground that the first covered easily with barely any effort. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtF1qJ1vVt
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Its beak was even damaged and had a large branch of it missing from the side that ran up to beneath its white eye.
They had both been victims at the tip; thier mutations told that story.
They had come out here to seek refuge in a place away from those sights and smells that would be ingrained into them forever.
Something inside me mourned for the loss of thier lives that had been lost. 119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9v8yscMFCo
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They were too far gone to save. They were both stuck as these beasts forever.
But I was not going to be. Not now.
The weight from my feathers had been lifted enough for me to spread them upwards and start my climb to the sky.
I avoided crossing the path of the guarded parents in the nest when I glided over the trees in the direction I had come from.
I was going to make it back home. And when I was there, I was going to keep my own family safe from the dangers I had caused them until the mutations had ebbed back enough for me to continue my life with them.
I couldn't wait to tell Lavender we could be parents. I had seen the proof with my own eyes.
Somehow, I was going to let her know to wait for me.
Just wait a little longer, Lavender.
Please.
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