Five days.
I waited outside home with the blanket held in my beak; waiting and watching.
The only time I left the door was to fill my stomach and re-hydrate my scratching throat from the river. I didn't have access to food, and I still wasn't comfortable with the idea of hunting and gutting my own animals now that I knew they were everything other than slabs of meat.
The only car that rolled into the property was for a real estate that promptly staked a sale sign out the front, and went to check for damage to the interior. I sat off to the side, watching as they inspected each empty room with impressed expressions.
That was after two days of waiting and marking the time spent sitting there in the dirt at my feet.
I managed to snag some trail mix one of the humans had in their pocket before they were off again and I resumed my position outside the front of the fence.
I waited so patiently. I starved myself so I wouldn't miss Sprig arriving when I would be out filling my stomach with whatever I would be stealing. I substituted river water for actual food in a hope that bloating myself with liquids would fool my body into thinking I had eaten yet again.
I was foolish to think that i could just ignore everything else over the one thing i waited to come rushing back into my life like nothing had happened.
But, she never showed.
I had hope; i really did. I knew she wouldn't give up on me so easily, but the absence of any return only made my heart sink lower than it already was.
When the fifth strike bundled all the others together, i had given up on the cheerful thought of reunion. It was obvious that my family had moved on without me, and were hoping i'd do the same to make it less painful.
Grief and starvation had destroyed me. Black liquid dripped over the dirt i laid in after having lost the strength to remain upright in the third day of waiting. The thick sludge splattered with each shaking breath i took, and dribbled from my body that had been stained black in its trails.
I thought it had been tears when i wiped my eyes, only to smear the darkness across them like some sort of sick warpaint. Usually, i would have been panicked about the discovery of another mutation that led me further from humanity; but my body couldn't fight. It didn't want to anymore. It just accepted the black blood dribbling from my mouth and eyes, and let the sun burn it into my body while my searching tongue lapped it up to try and salvage something from it.
It was probably the only thing that kept me alive, to be honest. Mutations always presented themselves in ways that would benefit the host, and this one was no exception.
I had been gifted wings for flight and sharp claws to try and make me the ultimate hunter. Now, it was forcing liquid from my body to try and give me some kind of nutrition the river water couldn't.
Essentially, i was drinking my own blood. That's what it tasted like anyway when i swallowed it back down. It was thick but tasted like old rust and dried dirt. Sometimes, i would catch a slimy clot in my throat that would make me gag it back up into the dried mud beneath me.
It had to be blood. There was no other explanation for it. That's the only logical reasoning for it, so that's what i decided.
I was bleeding to death, and there was no way to stop it. I laughed at the cruel fate the spirits had decided as punishment for all my acts of defiance against them.
I had given up on them in my wait for nothing. They waited every night for me to confide in them; to even acknowledge them, but i didn't.
I was done being led by lights. And they were done with watching me.
I was going to melt from this existence to join them again. They were demanding it.
Could i blame them? This life had really tested how far it could stretch my limits before they snapped. The next life would be better. I would find a girl named Dandelion, and we would laugh as we smeared paint over each other in our little tussle.
I smiled at the thought through closed eyes. I knew it wasn't blood running from them when I held onto the pleasant daydream.
Maybe, i would even be spared and be reborn as a human? That had be much easier than reliving this all again with Dandelion. I would experience all the years of growth with my new family who would always love me, and become the guardian that had been robbed from me with Lavender.
That would be nice.
And if i was reborn as a demon? Would i find myself in the same situation that i was in now?
My eyes rolled open as my pleasant thoughts turned horrid, and i huffed.
I hated how unpredictable this all was.
Stupid spirits.
I heard the sound of tyres on the dry road, and lifted my head from the ground to watch the silver car slowly drift past the front of the property to continue onwards. Glaring up at the sky, i laid my head back down.
Now they were just being arseholes.
But, there was a new sound. A chain being dropped clumsily against a fence, and the crunching of tyres over gravel before it ceased and i heard the calls of children squealing out.
Surely....?
My legs threatened to buckle when i forced myself upwards to limp around the side of the house, searching the other side of the river.
Was it them? After all this time? Had everything finally lined up and bought them back to me?
I looked up to the sky again. It was something they would do to force me to acknowledge them again.
The children's voices weren't familiar when they rushed into the house that had remained firmly shut since that night. I saw the parents peel from the vehicle and glimpsed the blonde hair on their faceless figures chattering away.
I don't know why my body jolted at the sight of something that had once been familiar to me. Maybe i was grasping at anything that belonged to them when i hobbled down the grass and towards the water.
My eyes didn't move from the figures who grew clearer the closer i approached. They moved from me to help with the boxes stacked inside the car and blocking the entire back half of it.
The water was warm on my body that was tugged downwards when i waded through the water to the other side. The rocks rolled under my claws, and the blood that had been stained to my body now poured with the water along the grass i crushed in my path to that house.
I hadn't been here since that night. Just being on the other side of the river was stirring up all sorts of emotions inside me.
I felt the pain from that night burrowing into my chest, and the panic when i had felt so helpless trying to save Darcy.
My body froze and i sat there, just a few metres from the car the last occupants were emerging from.
"RIVER!" I cried out at the tease of black and gold flecked skin "DARCY!"
Both faces turned to me in shock, but neither were belonging to them. Both teens, one human and one demon, looked between me and their parents who came rushing from the house to stand by the front door.
"That must be the demon the woman warned us about" the father muttered "the one connected to those boys."
He took a step away from the door, and i felt the panic thunder inside me. It pulled me away from him and towards the river. Only a few steps, but enough to keep the human away from me.
All humans were monsters. I understood that now.
"Its name is Teddy Bear!" one of the boy's called out to his parents that were now swarmed with three other small children "that's what the woman said!"
"NO!" I snapped to him "YOU DON'T GET TO SAY THAT NAME!"
The kid was terrified. I was too at the wave of violence that had split from my beak. Just hearing my own name sparked hate within me. Spoken from the lips of strangers stomping all over a place River and Darcy should have been; my name felt like filth.
People knew of me as the abandoned monster lurking around painful memories. They knew and told these others about me so that they could abuse my trust as well. They weren't River and Darcy. They weren't Lavender. They were cruel, manipulative, humans.
The human boy left the protection of the car to stomp over to the front of it. He pocketed his phone then opened his mouth to scream back at me.
The angry noise startled me and forced me to realise how aggressive i was approaching this. All of my feathers were flared out, my dripping head was low, and i had all of my claws pierced into the grass around me.
"YOU DON'T GET TO BOSS US AROUND!" the kid pointed a finger at me, huffing in fury "you can't just come here and run us out when we only just got here! We live here now and you live over there! You aren't scary! I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU, YOU DAMN TURKEY!"
"Seagull" the other corrected quietly.
The kid screamed at me again and charged. I instantly snapped myself from the ground to scramble back a few more paces. The kid balled his hands into fists and stood where i had, glaring at me.
I glared back. I was ashamed of my first reaction being to run from something no bigger than my arm. I wasn't going to be chased off by some human and his damn inflated ego. Doing that was only going to give him the satisfaction and belief that he could do it each time. I was the better one here.
The demon kid must have seen my change of choice and darted forward to drag the courageous one out of the way when i charged to plant myself where he had been.
"You would have no idea of how to be brave" i snapped to him cowering behind the car again "none of you should even be here! This isn't yours! You cant be here! How are they meant to come back if you are here?"
"Teddy Bear" the father spoke softly to force my glare on him now "who hurt you to make you like this? A human? A family like us?"
I didn't want him to understand me so perfectly. This human couldn't relate to me. I wasn't going to just drop everything that buried the anguish deep enough to become bearable. He was scratching at the surface of the wall i had thrown up, and i didn't like that.
I saw him take a step forward and motion to the boys to join their mother. I didn't back down this time. I stood my ground and snarled at the father who hesitated.
"We aren't them" he whispered, raising a hand towards me that i snapped at "we are good people. We just want to get along so we can all live here in peace. Do you want that?"
"Back off" i snarled to the hand inching closer "you are all the same. You have no idea. No idea!"
The father paused. His hand hung in the air between us, only a metre from my beak that remained open to snarl at him. Blood splattered on the ground, but the man remained calm. He didn't even look down at the mess swimming beneath his shoes.
I could feel the mutations bulging and bending my body at the threat just standing there. I could feel myself slipping further into darkness when i felt my body be instantly overloaded with new information from the feral instincts drawing the man's scent into me and forcing me to analyse the danger right there.
Fight or flight. There was nothing in between. I was slipping into a hole i was still trying to claw my way out from.
I didn't want to lose myself. But i couldn't move. The darkness had rooted me there in the hope that this threat would overlook me and move on. I couldn't fly; i didn't have the strength for that.
"I'm not here to hurt you" the fingers inched closer towards me "I'm good, see?"
I couldn't bend to this human or the darkness clawing around his hand. I could only whimper and close my eyes when it made contact and rubbed along my beak i firmly closed.
The fingers bristled with electricity when they slid up to my face and tussled the feathers there. I hated every moment of the contact. It reminded me of the way the other human used to touch me.
She was nice. She had a scent that was comforting and mothering. I knew pieces of it, but other fragments felt cold and foreign.
This human was persistent. He wanted me to recognise him as something other than the bristling force moving along my forehead in a way humans did with their pets.
The same way the other human used to calm me with.
That was enough.
I jerked my head back and held it high to save myself from the sadness pounding at the walls within me. The human's own family gathered together to observe me in silence when i shoved the man out of the way and approached their open car, inspecting the warm metal carefully.
The sting of metal was always dangerous and had to be treated cautiously. But humans always surrounded things they horded with metal for some false sense of security. Food was one of them. They were gluttonous creatures, and i was counting on that theory not to fail me now.
I knew the scents i needed to hunt. Anything that burned the air with unnatural fragrances was sweet. Spicy scents lingered lower; tainting the end of a breath rather than fouling it completely like what a sweet one did.
Human blood was fouling the air. It was muddy compared to my own, making me aware of what i needed to prioritise for hunting. Even their scent was dirty, although faintly familiar. It was poisoned with artificial scents that buzzed and burned, lingering on each human here and blanketing the other scents i tore through. I could taste the superior blood as it poured from me and coated the metal i snuffled around for the stench packed into the back of the car.
Cans rolled everywhere when i snagged the box and yanked it from the metal surrounds to gut it on the ground. The humans were displeased with my blatant thievery, but didn't come to defend their stash. Even the little one had lost his bravery when my beak pierced through the thin metal sheets to guzzle down the feasts inside.
What had i been so worried about before? Humans were pushovers.
Their stash made a nice offering to the ravenous beast taking up residency in my stomach. It was nowhere near as filling as when the nice human had fed me, but it was enough to feel like i wasn't about to vomit the contents of the river swirling inside whenever i moved.
The blanket with the spicy and sweet scents drowned under the blood crusting it that i held firm in my beak when i flew with purpose towards the cliff side.
I had my own cave here now that i could stake a territory in. The forest would be enough space to not intrude on the demon nest in the field. It would be a peaceful co-existence that the other demon pair didn't need to know existed.
I just needed somewhere vaguely familiar to live. With my old home completely empty and inaccessible, and the other being taken by strange humans, this old cave was the only other place i knew i could turn to.
I had something comforting to help settle in. The blanket i had bled all over still had enough familiarity to it that it made me bubble inside whenever i held it close.
It was going to be the start of something new in my cave. I was going to line it with soft blankets so i never had to feel the hard ground beneath me again.
When i swooped down on the area however, i heard soft sobbing.
Carefully, i crept closer to the entrance of my cave. I used the masses of trees to disguise my approach and keep me camouflaged to the cause of the noise that suddenly stopped.
"H-hello?" a small voice sniffled as i crouched down "i can s-smell you, you know!"
The voice sounded human. Young too.
I rushed forward and heard the voice scream when i flared my feathers outwards and screeched at them. It instantly turned its scream into a shriek of laughter and rushed upwards to wrap its arms around me and bury its head into my chest.
I lowered my head to sniffle at the scent of the human. The orange hair was warm but ashy and also tangled with the ocean mist that was thick in the air here. The skin was unwashed for quite a while; stinking of stale sweat, old food, and the residue of bark from the trees here.
And the blood. It was just like mine splattering all over the little thing clinging to me. It smelled good but only tasted sour when i ran my tongue over the face looking up at me.
This wasn't a human. This was... Pretzel; yes! I remembered the little demon's name!
"I t-thought you were g-gone forever!" she whined up at me, burying her head back into my body "d-did you forget so-something?"
Oh, how could i forget how innocent she was? She was the one thing i wanted to protect most in this world. The humans; they were gone. Why did i leave something so vulnerable to chase them again? Pretzel needed me, and now i needed her.
She was the only thing stopping me from slipping completely.
"I'm not leaving again" i vowed as i felt her tremble against me when her sobs started up again "I'm here now."
"B-but your humans...?"
I pulled from her to gaze sternly into her watering eyes.
"They didn't want me either. I waited, but they didn't come back."
Pretzel pressed her head back against me, and i leant into her comforting hold as my own bloody tears fell. I only broke from her to smooth out my blanket in the cave where it was safe. Pretzel clung to my side, wiping her eyes with the end of her stained jumper.
"Why were you crying?"
She was caught by surprise at the question, and looked down at the ground.
"I missed you" she mumbled "and..."
Her voice trailed off and I saw her son again.
"I'm hungry" she whimpered when she clutched her sides "I'm so hungry but nothing makes it better."
I knew the feeling too well. Poor Pretzel was in all sorts of pain while waiting for the meal that was being distributed to the more desperate mouths first. The babies in that nest took priority, and with one of the demon pair injured, they couldn't hunt down larger kills like I could.
"I'll feed you."
Pretzel winced at my determination, shaking her head.
"Mama and Papa won't like that. Other demons aren't allowed near the nest."
"And who says I'm going up there?" I scoffed back, pacing "I'm feeding you."
I could see how badly she wanted to accept the offer, but she still hesitated. Her hands gripped tighter, curling into little fists.
"They need food too" she whimpered "I can't be the only one."
"Fine" I shrugged off the extra responsibility "I'll feed all of you then."
Her eyes lit up and I saw a smile form. It was weak and nowhere as energetic as the cheeky soul that had troubled me only days ago. She was fading quickly. She needed something.
If I had to battle the other demons to make sure they were all fed, then so be it. I wasn't letting Pretzel be in much agony over something so preventable.
"You liked the cow, right?"
She groaned out and nodded.
"The special meat Mama brings back in the black plastic is my favourite" she rasped out "she's gone for days, but she always gets the big ones with the extra bugs on them. She hasn't done that in ages."
My gut dropped at the mention of the plastic. I knew exactly what she was referring to, and could smell the decay of the demon tip lingering. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISYpqUYUwm
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqdXjxPcAj
Pretzel wasn't going to be reduced to eating maggot-infested bodies while I was around. I would snatch up pet dogs off the streets before I even thought about scavenging anywhere near that disgusting place.
I knew that Pretzel was aware of seagulls being the ones that tore demon bodies apart in death, but she didn't know that they were also the ones wrapped in plastic and stacked like walls that surrounded her obscured vision of what she thought the tip was.
I shuddered the image from my mind and forced a smile for Pretzel who tried to return it when she sat back down inside my cave.
I liked her being there. I knew she was going to be safe while I was gone. And with the place reeking of my blood, nothing was going to prowl nearby. Just the sight of her snuggled into the blanket made the paternal instincts lurch upwards in me again.
"Teddy?" she whimpered when I prepared to leave.
I liked the sound of my name being called out. The way she said it so suddenly muddled the sounds to make it sound more like she was calling for her father.
I could pretend for a bit. It wasn't going to hurt anybody.
"You'll be back this time?"
"Of course I will" I soothed her "why don't you have a sleep? I'll be back before you know it."
I knew she would be tired. With no energy, she wouldn't be able to fight her body screaming for sleep. Anything to conserve the energy she didn't have.
Hell, if I wasn't so determined on seeing her fed, I would be right beside her. I was dead on my feet and running off borrowed energy from my stolen meal earlier.
But, she needed this. I did too. With all of this new information flooding me, I was not the hesitant demon I had been. I knew I could be efficient with the help of the feral side snapping for my attention.
So, I was going to take advantage of it.
Seeing Pretzel so happy with the cow I had killed for her made me feel like I was on the top of the world. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMFDJsbhFw
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzNVQhCxY8
I didn't hesitate either. I went straight for the throat, like I had witnessed the first time, and used the same technique with my claws to savage the beast who collapsed in its own blood.
It was like I had a map for every part of the animal laid out before me when I stripped the membrane and stabbed at the insides.
The fact I was starving probably helped lower my standards drastically when I severed guts and butchered muscle to reach the flabby bits of meat hidden within the beast.
Pretzel was basically climbing into the carcus to devour whatever she could rip and tear. I wanted her to be fulfilled. I tore pieces off for her to offer, which she accepted greedily.
She looked overjoyed with being able to finally gourge herself without interference from her mother or father. She ate until she was almost choking trying to force more in.
I stopped her, snapping my beak around the back leg of the decimated carcus to drag it towards the field.
I saw people immediately move their blankets out of the way when I dragged the cow towards the nest above the toilet block.
The male was there, watching me cautiously. The female watched too, her head lifting at the opportunity of food.
I could see I was intruding on territory that wasn't mine too. The male didn't like another trying to offer food to his family. It made him look incompetent, and made his mate favour me instead.
It was a brief show of gratitude, but he hated it. The male swooped down from the nest while screaming at me. I dropped the leg and abandoned the cow to scurry back to the treeline.
I could stand up to humans, but another demon who had been swallowed by the darkness and knew the cutthroat laws of nature was a whole different ordeal i didn't want to take a chance on.
The eyes of the scattered humans and demons switched from me to the body that the male snatched up to try and offer to his mate. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiAHBqA1tD
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRw89S41LX
She accepted it desperately, but I could see the humiliation in the male when his family enjoyed the scraps I had provided.
It pushed me to prove myself further to the family, just out of spite.
I learned to wait until the male was out hunting before darting out myself. He had a habit of leaving when the sun started to get its hottest around midday. And with his wings disabled, he always took a lot longer than the female to return to the nest. She always waited until he was back before they swapped places and she set off on her own hunt.
As long as i didn't get too close to the nest, the female was not a threat. I could slaughter my own catch in the safety of the forest, gorge myself and Pretzel on the feast, then drag the leftovers to her mother while the male was gone.
She couldn't turn down the offerings and always snapped them up when i retreated to the treeline. I liked the thrill of possible danger each time i left the trees to brave the clearing with the newest catch. Pretzel found it exciting too and usually watched me dart back towards her each time i dumped the offering for her mother.
And with the darkness aiding me in the successful hunts and in keeping Pretzel safe, i only felt more like i was wedging myself into a family i didn't know i wanted.
I was doing it for Pretzel. But in helping her, i was helping the rest who now eagerly awaited my catches instead of the ones their own parents provided. In showing my competency in survival, i was also becoming a threat to the role of the male trying desperately to keep himself useful to his mate.
I had been dumping scraps to them for three months now. And in that time, it was obvious the female was noticing my efforts and taking interest in them.
It didn't bother Pretzel that her mother was losing interest in her father. To her, it was survival of the fittest. She adapted to survive; and that meant by favouring what was going to keep her safe and fed. If that was someone else outside the nest, then she knew what had to happen.
Her loyalty could be swayed in an instant if it resulted in a fulfilling life. I knew that if another demon forced its way into my territory and proved itself as a more competent protector, i would be abandoned for the best chance at life.
It was a cruel law, but it was the one that worked; even if Pretzel wasn't willing to leave me so easily.
I had to make sure i was the one she could turn to. Wavouring for even a moment would lose her forever, and i wasn't ready to have her snatched away so soon after getting her back.
She was mine. I was hers. She was the only thing that mattered in this damn place.
I felt her eyes trained on me when i dragged my newest offering past the spectators and to the stain in the middle of the clearing. Pretzel always watched from the treeline, mainly so that i could keep watch on her and the surroundings.
I knew her mother was fiercely protective of her and would step in any moment to defend her, but i knew the patch of forestry that had become my territory better than she did. I lived in my blanket-lined cave and had a set routine i had followed for those three months. Pretzel depended on me not to stray from that.
Today, Pretzel had tasted horse for the first time. It was an odd meat and much more chewy than cow was. It had also been a loved pet that i had stripped the saddle and bridle from when i had cut its throat only hours earlier. The white hair had been plaited, and its cream-coloured flank was even branded with obscure lettering layered into a square shape.
But food was food. I wasn't denying Pretzel a moment of satisfaction because someone gave a cute name to a creature designed for butchering.
The mother took notice of my arrival, as always. Her neck stretched upwards and her feathers ruffled up in delight at the sight of such a large meal for her family. Survival was at the front of her mind too; she was bound to praise anyone who provided for her, as she had done to me many times now.
The crooning noise she always made when i approached made the darkness take notice of the attention. The feral part of me loved it and clawed for more. It wanted me to return her praise with a cocky display of bravery over the stained circle in the grass. But, doing that would only bend what drop of humanity i had left to the feral instincts buzzing inside me. I had to keep a hold of that, just in case.
Just drop the meat and get out of here. Don't give in now.
The horse collapsed in the bloodstain and i started to back up. The audience was disappointed by my lack of advancement. All they speculated was that another demon was courting the resident female here, and were keen for something new for their stories. They thrived off drama, and wanted to see me succeed in glory or fail spectacularly.
I just wanted to leave with my head intact.
I heard the groans when i headed back for the treeline. Then there were gasps of surprise before a large shadow flitted over me.
Shit.
I felt the claws stab through my back before i saw who had caused them. I was thrown back towards the bloodstain, struggling to get to my feet as the male slammed to the ground and threw his wings outwards with a scream.
I had always left before he had returned. He shouldn't be back yet. He wasn't supposed to be here.
"Teddy Bear!" Pretzel cried out, but was screamed at my her father who made her freeze in her tracks.
I only heard noise, but she understood it perfectly and fell silent.
The male was fuming. Each jagged breath rattled through his bleeding open beak. I saw a dead goat crumpled beside the horse, and realised that he was hunting bigger game to try and win his mate's affection back. It had ended in injury for him; a failed demonstration of mastery in his eyes.
The humans and their demons quickly cleared the field around us. I watched them hurry to the sides helplessly, knowing that i was about to be thrown into a fight i didn't want to be challenged to.
The male lunged for my legs to grip them with his own and tear at the feathers there. His broken beak acted as a serrated saw on my own wings that i pulled from him with a scream of pain.
I felt every edge snap down on the skin and twist through me. It bubbled and burned when blood billowed outwards and the feathers were yanked outwards in a mess of carnage.
I clawed at his arms while he snapped at my neck. My legs kicked his body from mine as his wings battered my sides in blind rage.
It was just shrieking and warbled screeching snapping from both of us. No words were exchanged as both feral forces awakened to fight for their dignity and survival.
This male would tear me apart if i faltered and gave him a chance to break through my scrambling defense. He had so much more to lose than me, but I want just going to back down and allow him to mutilate me over it.
I had to fight. If I lost, he'd drive me out of the area and I'd never see Pretzel again. She was something worth fighting my hardest for.
I saw the male snap for my neck again, and twisted around to claw at his shredded wings. I was able to pin one to the ground which staggered him. With his neck now in striking distance, I tore into it viciously; making sure to throw my head in the twisting lunges to cause as much destruction as possible.
The male's screams were what I wanted to hear. Immeidently, he went on the defensive to try and protect himself when I threw myself onto his side and forced him to the ground, still tearing into his throat that I devoured the torn flesh from.
He was a pityful screaming mess that still tried to fight back. He clambered to his feet, stretching his wings upwards to try and appear in control.
I felt the triumph bubble through me. It rumbled through my throat and into a screech that caused the male to take a few steps back. I charged for his bleeding throat again, tearing another chunk from it in his retreat across the clearing.
I looked around in disbelief when I saw him let out one more screech and slink into the trees.
I had won the fight. I had actually won!
What did that mean? Was he going to come back after I left and admit defeat in silent respect each time I entered the clearing now?
I don't know why I was so happy when I had no clue what this meant.
But when I watched Pretzel come charging towards me, nothing else mattered.
I was still hers. We would still be together.
Her arms wrapped around me before her head buried into my chest and her lips parted to mumble a single word.
"Papa."
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