It was survival.
That's what I had to keep telling myself when I unknowingly took the place of the provider and father of the family that day.
I didnt know how serious the stakes were. I was only trying to keep myself alive so I could make a quick retreat if I needed to.
I wanted to keep Pretzel safe, but I had no idea that winning a fight would literally have me being her new father.
I waited for the male to return too. After he limped into the trees, I sat at the bloodstain and waited.
He only made an appearance when the sun was setting; his eyes scowling at mine from his safety on the other side of the clearing. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn255SbaOU1
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Q8yHHWrFa
But when I went to approach him and try and talk to him into taking his position back, he disappeared once more with a silent snarl.
I couldn't do anything to convince him to return. Leaving the nesting grounds only left the mother and her babies unguarded while I watched from the treeline for the male to slink back into thier lives. Sitting there only made it look like I was guarding what was his to begin with as he made brief appearances toward the end of each day.
But after the seventh, he stopped.
I waited away from the nest, like I did for all the other days, but he never showed his face. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJxRZE5z50
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAyNqid9ze
I even left his nest untouched during the night in a hope that I would find him curled back in it the next morning. And when Pretzel called down to me to join them in it, I refused. It wasn't mine to intrude on.
I just wanted him to come back.
But he didn't. I was the responsible one now.
I had no idea how hard this was. Before, I could get away with one offering a day around the other feedings both parents were offering. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5pVzpbZlE
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMe86iqC3J
Now that I was the replacement, I was expected to keep up the constant flow of food to the snapping mouths demanding more as they grew.
One was not enough. They needed smaller creatures so that each mouth could be fed quicker.
I couldn't just ignore them either; I already tried that. Pretzel knew exactly where to find me so she could guilt me into reluctantly returning to the noise awaiting me.
The mother was grateful of course. When it was her turn to hunt, I waited by the toilet block for her return. Pretzel sat in the nest now instead of waiting by the trees. She usually scrawled on the roof of the block with a rock while I kept my eyes glued to the sky so I could make my hasty escape.
The humans with thier blankets and pets were what made me most nervous. When I wasn't dumping smaller catches at the bottom of the block, I was watching them observing me.
I didn't like the way they let thier pets roam the grounds underneath the nest. I also hated the way Pretzel took advantage of thier kindness to dance between each spread to feed herself.
Humans were nasty, foul creatures. One of them could snatch her up or hurt her if they didn't like her lingering. I did what I was best at and made sure they knew I was watching from my place nearby. I knew I was good at being intimidating without even resorting to threatening gestures. No-one wanted to mess with a demon who had torn another's throat apart without hesitation.
Even when I was hunting, I was still worrying about what was happening while I was there.
I hated the responsibility, but I couldn't just ignore it. It would be so easy just to keep flying and never return, but I was better than that.
I was more worried about messing up than anything else. This was the closest I had come to fatherhood, and it terrified me.
She terrified me.
I looked up at Pretzel gouging her new drawing into the top of the toilet block with such focus. Her tongue poked out the side of her mouth and her legs pumped in thier own rhythm as she laid on her stomach.
She had gained enough energy back that she could continue doing the things she loved. She no longer cried in pain from starvation, and was back to hanging off the side of the block or scaling the trees so quickly she slipped on her way up.
Even though it was hot today, that didn't stop her. I knew how worn and old Pretzel's clothes were from her energetic activities and lack of care. They were unsuitable for the burning weather steadily sizzling her poor skin.
The flecks of shade from the trees above were her only salvation from the heat. They were enough to keep the silent babies cool, but not enough to stop them from trying to drag in any relief through thier open beaks.
I'd have to find her something more suitable. It was about time she was gifted something other than the crispy clothes she lived in.
She was entirely focused on the picture whn I slid over to the side of the toilet block and leant up the side of it to make her snigger at me.
"You want to come with me today when Mama gets back?"
Instantly, her eyes grew wide and she gasped. Her hand slammed down the rock, but she grew suspicious.
"Where are we going?"
She had never been outside the radius of the clearing without her parents. Rather than being an nineteen year old trapped in a child's body, she was still treated as one of the pleading mouths hanging above her.
I could see why. But I knew that would only lead to anger or trickery if it wasn't squashed while she still had hope.
"To fix you up something cooler than those crusty old pants and jacket" I replied "you must be boiling. It's much better in the sky."
"In the sky?" she laughed back to me "I've never been up there. Not even with Mama or Old Papa. I can't fly, so I don't get to go."
"You want to?" I added with a smile that she nodded enthusiastically to just as her mother made her appearance in the sky.
I left the block to give her space as she made her landing and nuzzled Pretzel when she stood to greet her.
Despite the lengthy hunt, there was no food. It had me as stumped as Pretzel who looked with worry at her dissapointed mother climbing up to quieten the demanding noises above.
"Wonder what happened?" Pretzel whispered while she used my arm as her step onto my back "Mama never comes back with nothing."
It had me worried too when our eyes met briefly. She watched her daughter stabilize herself on my back, then rested her head back down as I took to the skies with her gripping to me.
"The climb is the worst part" I explained to the huddled Pretzel "open your eyes; take a look."
I saw her squint down at the treetops and flashes of ocean spray slamming into the rocks to my left. Her tangled hair whipped in the wind when she carefully pulled herself up from her stomach and fought the wind to remain seated there.
I kept as low as I could, riding the air to avoid flapping as much as possible. I didn't want to bump around someone so fresh to being airborne, let alone on thier first venture with someone they still barely knew that was taking them outside familiar grounds.
I would hate myself if her first taste of flight left her with a fear for it. I had to be careful and controlled with everything. She was precious cargo; plain and simple.
"Higher!" she leant down towards my ears to yell into them over the wind whipping against us "you are a death bird; you can go anywhere!"
I buffered against the wind and allowed myself to be thrown higher. I looked back to see Pretzel whooping and watching everything below us shrink back with absolute exhilaration.
Well, at least I could relax knowing that I wasn't doing anything to terrify her. She was loving the thrill of being so high up.
"Look at how beautiful it all is!" she called out, throwing her arms out as I sailed further from land to peel over the crashing ocean instead "its amazing!"
She whooped before gasping and slapping my head.
"Look! Look!" she pointed to my left "dead birds!"
The seagulls were just ordinary birds. They cruised on the ocean air, dipping and diving in thier flocks with the most precise movements of thier tails and wings. Pretzel was mesmerized by the birds and kept her focus locked her onto them, even when we passed.
"Do you think thier Mama is nearby?" she breathed when she leant across me again "they are so small and cute!"
"You've never seen a real seagull before?" I chuckled at her words "those are fully grown birds."
She was silent and leant back. I saw her head watch more seagulls calling to each other when we startled them in our travels.
She had told me about her ideal of the dead birds taking the pieces of demons to the spirits in the sky. Perhaps, her vision of a gull was more demonic since she only had her parents as reference? This was the first time she was seeing them for what they were; unmutated, natural creatures.
I spotted a flock ahead and dipped downwards so that Pretzel was able to be surrounded by them when I merged in. The birds kept formation while I flew below them, unsure of what to do.
I felt Pretzel's body tighten in excitement at having them all so close. She watched them with awe, reaching a hand out to even try and touch one of the gliding wings nearby.
She was having the time of her life. I loved seeing her so thrilled by the world she had to be experiencing for the first time.
"Goodbye, seabirds!" Pretzel called with a wave when the flock pulled from thier linear path to follow a safer route away from us "I want to fly like them, Papa!"
That word again. It made me smile up at the girl with her arms spread wide again to feel the wind whipping against them like it was with my own wings.
She really was adorably oblivious to the pain she would have to endure just to force a mutation to grant her the wings she wanted. I would much rather her have these memories rather than be trapped with what she thought she wanted.
Pretzel was still marveling in the thrill of flight when I spotted our first town and made the descent down into one of the wider streets not too far from the heart. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCk33gSFVqn
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡey25U4YFnx
I kept Pretzel safely on my back when I followed the twisting scents flitting though the air and along the road. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4W5x8a6Jc
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vynxVeovO
She helped too, sniffing out the more promising ones from the others that only led to remnants of trash stuffed along the gutters.
"I don't want you going into any shops" I wanted Pretzel when I moved down the road leading to the main one that was lined with storefronts "things outside only."
"You talk like I haven't stole anything before" she muttered when eyes found us in a mixture of awe and fright "I stole these clothes."
I snorted and scanned the stores for wares hung outside. There were plenty that had shoppers flocking to browse them for themselves. Everything from knitted dolls to vintage teasets and shoes were laid out. There were even the clothes I was on the prowl for.
"It's been a while then" I teased when Pretzel was aware of her shabby reflection in the glass shopfronts.
"Shut up."
She slid from me in annoyance and darted across the road I moved from to sit in the grass where another curved down a hill. My head touched the directional sign planted there, while my eyes remained firmly planted on Pretzel who lingered around a table of handmade jewellary advertised out the front of a tiny door others squeezed through.
Her black eyes glanced to mine and I instantly knew what she was thinking. I shook my head at her firmly, but she ignored me anyway and joined the others pressing into the shop.
Her orange hair soon disappeared from view of the open shop, and I scowled at the door to await for its return.
Each time someone entered or exited, I glared at the eyes glancing over to me. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5OHEPp30L
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocHQT8bYAb
I was bitter that Pretzel had ignored my warning so easily, and I wanted her to see that.
I knew humans. She thought she did. She had no say in this.
Her smug face reappeared to my glare and scowled back at me before marching down the street. She scoped out other entrances before entering another store; an airy store of preloved clothing.
Now, how was she going to pull this off?
I moved down my side of the road to plant myself beside an old telephone booth and watch the little demon turn heads when she promptly flicked through the racks of children's clothing.
She had to reek in such an enclosed area. I noticed heads turning toward her before moving away. Pretzel noticed the distance being placed between her, and took advantage of it to move between the racks to head out the front door.
She had a little wicker bag tucked into her jacket that she promptly flung over her shoulder and spilled more contents into from her pockets. She skipped along happily with her new bag, brushing along a table two women smiled from behind, before spotting a small lolly shop and skipping up the stairs to head inside.
She was really pushing it. This shop wasn't open like the others and had a heavy wooden door that had to be hauled open just to get inside. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDwVwAF9rx
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJHQ5X4AOi
I saw Pretzel wave from the window inside and shook my head at her attempt to make me smile.
I was seething silently. She wasn't acknowledging anything I had told her.
She was sliding out only moments later with a lollypop in her mouth. Her smile was wide when she went to continue onwards.
"Pretzel!" I barked out "over here, now!"
Her face dropped and she carefully checked the road before running over to me. I saw my raised voice had some others looking, but I didn't care.
"What are you thinking?!" I snapped to her before she could speak "I told you not to go inside and you did anyway! Not once, but three times! The last one even had a door; I couldn't see you!"
Her eyes dropped down immediently and she scuffed her shoe on the ground.
Her silence was not what I wanted to hear. She knew very well what she had done to get this reaction from me.
"Well?"
"I'm sorry, Papa" she mumbled "but they were small shops. They had so many corners; I wasn't going to get caught..."
"You need to listen to me" I scowled, but lightened slightly when her hesitant gaze met mine again "I'm worried about you. Humans can do terrible things, OK?"
"Demons too" she added hopefully, but dropped her head and nodded "OK, Papa. I'll listen."
The anger-laced worry simmered at her genuine acknowledgment. I drew her in close and felt her head lean against my side.
"So, what did you snag?" I nudged her to try and break her dampened spirits.
Her smile returned and she held her bag close with a laugh.
"You'll have to wait" she teased "I'm not done yet. I still need clothes, remember? I'm getting everything else before that."
"Because of what?"
She stepped back towards the road.
"You'll see!"
I watched her jump back onto the opposite side of the road and continue her scouting. When she saw a shop she thought could be taken advantage of, she stopped to point at it hopefully.
Her suggestions were much too ambitious. They were larger shops with adequate spacing around the shelves, and much too observant of sellers inside.
I denied each request she jerked a finger to, until she grumpily jabbed at a single doorframe.
It was open and looked swamped with all sorts of junk that formed an alleyway deeper within.
There was no door, and the place already had people trying to navigate through it with frowns on their faces.
I nodded, saw her face lift, and watched her duck inside to immediently undo her bag.
She was gone for quite a while in this place. When she did emerge again, she was quite proud of herself. She strutted down the street to an airy beach-themed clothing store and promptly stepped inside.
Immediently, my caution was on high alert. Even though the place had windows showcasing the entire store, there were barely any customers. This left her to the scrutiny of the demon behind the register.
They would be more aware of what was happening too. We were all the same.
Pretzel lingered by the window where the maniquens were. The child at the front between the male and female was wearing a bright blue dress adorned with seagulls and a yellow ribbon for a belt. It also had a large sunhat that was pinned with another cartooonish seagull.
Of course, that's what she wanted.
She pointed excitedly to the little blue sandals on the maniquin that had pictures of a hot chip being swallowed on the front by another gull.
I saw how badly she wanted those. Maybe I was a fool, but I was going to make sure she got them. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZ3iTXvsp1
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVtx7lewRq
Obviously, she had her reasons for instantly loving them so desperately.
I saw her snatch up the whole outfit laid out on the nearby shelving and ask the overseeing demon to try them on.
Thier was hesitation, seeing as how disgusting and grimy she was. However, after much pleading and pointing to me, the demon gave in and showed her the way beside the registers.
I felt responsible for the destruction that would happen to those clothes the moment they touched Pretzel's skin. The demon knew it too and shook thier head at me while I waited.
When Pretzel did emerge, she ran to the front door to show off her new outfit. Her excitement was for all to see when she spun around for me.
Her skin was still filthy, only made more painfully obvious against the clean clothes; and her disaster of hair still had bits of broken twig and foliage buried within it, but she was beautiful.102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOn2zelvtf
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDrDblmfQ1
She looked like a happy little girl truly enjoying herself. For a moment, she wasn't that neglected and forgotten demon. She was normal.
She managed to get a plastic bag to put all of her crusted clothing into. She tied it off and went back to hang more clothes over one arm before picking up a bunch more to settle on the register for the demon.
Then, as both demons spoke with smiles to each other, Pretzel ran.
She laughed when she darted out the front door that screamed its alarm.
One hand held her hat firmly on her head while the other still hugged the huge pile of clothes with hangers flapping wildly beside her.
She darted across the road with her sights set on me, and was almost hit in the process. The driver slammed on thier brakes and smashed thier horn in anger at the demon clambering onto my back.
I ran without even waiting for her to say anything. The demon who had been tricked hurled insults at us when I gained enough speed to lift us away from the town buzzing with what had just happened.
Pretzel was very smug about her new haul and how successful she had been. She tied them all off into the plastic bag that she slipped an arm through while I turned my focus on hunting small game in familiar grounds on our way back to the nest.
In places I knew were usually flowing with life, there was none. Even wandering animals owned by humans were nowhere to be seen daring across streets.
Everywhere I looked, there was nothing but the dumb sparrows that darted and danced in thier brambles or puddles.
I couldn't feed the family on sparrows. They were far too boney to even strip one sliver of meat from, let alone enough for everyone.
I was forced to pick properties again. Normally, killing at the same location repeatedly was not ideal. The missing wildlife owned by the humans there was thier livelihood that they guarded closely. Returning to strike again was beyond stupid. I had learnt that in the many times I had been craving more cow meat. They had been waiting for me, and I had barely escaped with the kill to keep everyone fed.
I had picked that property and the surrounding ones to thier limits. They were dwindling on numbers, and I was running out of chances.
But, i was back.
Over the months, I had decimated the numbers in these properties.
This particular one used to have twenty cows. With my greed, and the owner trying to profit in the past by ironically selling five to a slaughterhouse, there were only six left.
And with me being screamed at yet again as I snared the closest one, there was five; but what was going to be one very happy family.
I saw the neighboring properties as I passed them and counted three cows on the second, which used to be thriving with over thirty, and only one left on the third that once had eleven.
They must have sold off too. I had been greedy, but not that desperate that I would destroy the best food source I had.
I would have to hunt further outwards to avoid a head-hunt. And with smaller catches suddenly disappearing, the more dangerous ones were all that was left.
Things were getting grim.
But where one opportunity grew darker, another one was coming into light.
I ate my fill and let Pretzel take her pickings. She made sure not to get her new dress dirty, and sucked her fingers clean rather than wiping them on her clothes.
When I dragged the rest out to the clearing, the mother was already waiting up in the nest eagerly.
I could see her relief when she saw I had caught something. I felt it too when I left it there for her to segment and allocate.
"What are you doing, Papa?" Pretzel grabbed for my tail when I turned away "aren't you going to stay this time?"
She should have known by now. This was my routine, and what always happened. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9U2pHiwe1z
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbpSSMukwK
I didn't want to feed the darkness. If I stayed, I knew that's what would be happening. And maybe, deep down inside, I would be replacing the love I had for a human once with that of something that had given up that side long ago; someone like me?
The darkness was always scratching and clawing enough that I couldn't forget it. It bled from me and honed all my senses to keep me alive.
Perhaps, it wouldn't be bad to let it have what it wanted just once?
Sitting beside the mother wouldn't do anything to trigger it. I still had those few drops left to stop myself slipping completely.
Pretzel watched me take a running jump to the toilet block and scramble up the side of it.
I watched her use the missing slots in the concrete as little hand and footholds to help her up to my side.
The heat from the sun only cooked the stench from the toilets that wafted upwards. It was a festering, putrid smell that had me holding my breath.
"It always smells like bums and piss" she giggled at my disgusted ruffled feathers trying to buffer the smell "it's a bit better up there."
She pointed to the nest, and I launched myself at the trees without hesitation to grab for the branches.
Pretzel led the way. She had her own path she took that I followed, standing on the branches woven with the nest to look over the chicks inside.
I slipped my way up beside her and felt my heart melt at the sight of the three babies crammed together there.
I didn't know there were so many here. From below, it was hard to tell exactly what lived behind the high sides of the nest.
The stench was barely tolerable up here. The wind did knock most of it away, but I could still smell and taste the cooking urine from the concrete block below wafting upwards. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcq33opoE8d
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jatNG6pTX
The dried blood in that smear didn't help either. And with the new cow just dumped there on top of it, I could smell it's dirty urine-soaked fur and wet hay scent seeping into the grass.
This was no place to live. No wonder Pretzel always smelled and looked so terrible. I felt defeated known that her new clothes were going to gradually descend into the same crusted state as her old ones had devolved into.
The beauty wasn't even enough to distract from the stench either. It helped, but man, this was shocking.
"You can come out here" Pretzel gestured to me as she stepped onto the nest and shut the beaks instantly demanding for food. She walked around her mother who sat up now and leapt off the side to go and tear up the meat still in the grass.
I saw the nest rebound from the shift in weight, and didn't want to break it with any of mine. For something so big, I was afraid it wasn't going to hold me, even though I had seen it do just that with two demons my size.
The sticks creaked and groaned when I carefully applied pressure to the edge closest to me. I froze, listening to the noise snap it's way down through the twigs.
"I, uh, don't like this."
"It's fine!" Pretzel grinned and started jumping on the spot "look!"
"Jeez! What are you doing?!"
"Getting you out here, silly!" Pretzel laughed and jumped to the edge of the best to stand there "see?"
I looked down to find myself fully out on the nest, standing over the curious faces of the babies looking up at me. They opened thier beaks for more food while I peered back at Pretzel who had a sly smile on her face.
In panic, I hadn't been thinking. She had tricked me so easily. And now that I was out here, I was too scared to move out of fear it would all collapse.
Pretzel walked around the edge cheekily back towards me. Her mother heaved the carcass onto the concrete so she could tear strips from it to force gore down the screaming beaks. When they were quietened, she settled down on the right with her own chunk. It left a huge gap to the left for me.
The darkness craved it. It wanted to make the space its own and indulge in what it had fought for.
Slowly, I lowered myself down to silence the snapping inside me. I couldn't relax, knowing I was suspended just above a slab of concrete that could seriously damage me if the supporting twigs decided to break.
Pretzel plonked herself down by my head so she could lean against me. The mother kept her eyes on me as she defended her meal. I glanced nervously at her, seeing her tagged ear flip upwards at me, despite her aggressive stance.
Through the years, the plastic had been damaged and faded. I could see swipes of what used to be a name on it, but couldn't make out what it said.
"Your Mama, what was her name?"
Pretzel glanced to her then looked back up to me.
"Wild creatures don't have names."
I had to shake my head at her oversight.
"She was called something once. The only reason she would be tagged is if someone else other than her human caused her to become like that. I had one just like her once too. All demons have names. You do, and you are as wild as they come."
Pretzel giggled at my joke about her, then focused back on her mother tearing apart her meal.
"I never thought about it like that. I just call her 'Mama'. She has been since I came here. It would be weird to call her anything else."
"Well, she's not my Mama" I laughed back, but then felt the stab inside me at the reality of the joke.
My Mama had given up on me. They both had, even though she had raised and looked after me just like what this demon was doing with Pretzel. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomXRtOiFM4
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhptg8BT6WJ
I had no doubt her love was undying. She would protect this girl until her spirit left this earth.
"Well...." Pretzel walked around the babies to her mother's ear to grab it and inspect the tag there as the meal was finished "there's a bunch of straight, slashy lines here that kind of look like a 'b' or a funny looking 't'. Could be a 'p' too" she added with a tilt of her head and squint of her eyes.
B or t could work as a short name. P, not so much. I liked the sound of b. It reminded me of the tiny creatures that buzzed around flowers and were known for thier loyalty and devotion.
Bee. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7we6m5GUJQ
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXmUUEcorx
Somehow, it suited a seagull demon nowhere near as small or fluffy as a bee was. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRuwKmYueB
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vUgiD5QVl
I thought it was kind of cute.
"What about them?"
Pretzel frowned at the babies then to me.
"You really like naming things, don't you?" she folded her arms "they don't get names until they survive thier first jump. It's a human thing to name things you get attached to, and last I checked, we weren't humans."
So, they hadn't named a single one?
"How many have survived?"
"None" Pretzel replied simply "Old Papa has bad wings. He passed it all onto his babies, so they can't fly properly. These ones won't either; I don't watch."
I saw the sadness in Bee's face and realised the pain she was putting herself through prolonging what had to happen. They had to make that leap to start thier own way in the world; one they would do with optimism and oblivion to the cruelty awaiting below.
Bee and her old mate must have watched all of her babies break thier bones over and over on that concrete block year after year. And Pretzel would have been right there too with hope in her heart before she knew what was going to happen.
I wonder how long it had been before she a turned away to save herself the horrors of it all?
I wasn't going to name them either. It would only be cruel to make it harder than it needed to be.
"I'm sorry, Bee" I mumbled as I slid my way over to her and pressed my body against hers in comfort, lifting my head up to rest on hers "it must be tough going through that all those times."
She leant into the affection, and I felt her feathers fluff up at the contact. She let the sadness drip down her face that cuddled under my chin.
"There won't be anymore times" Pretzel spoke, wrapping her arms around my own to gaze up at me "you have good wings. The new ones will make the jump."
I knew what she was implying and I could feel my shred of humanity shuddering at the idea. But, there was the feral darkness; practically purring at the thought of having what was torn from me come true again.
I had a chance to be a father again. It wouldn't be to a human child like I had invisioned, but little demon ones that were already made for this world.
They wouldn't face all the problems and hurdles I would, because they would simply just be creatures.
Wild creatures bred more wild creatures. And I was one of them.
But... Bee? 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafvm1sienU
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mGNlhsGYb
Was I that wild that I was willing to lay all my morals into the law of nature? Survival of the fittest?
There was no emotional connection between us. It was just survival; she obeyed and knew it better than any of us. She was only trying to raise a family so that her line could be continued through them. The strong weeded out the weak in the harshest way possible.
And I would only be doing it for the same thing. The feeling of nuturing something that was mine, and satisfying something that I had forced to be mine. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zHCSw6SxP
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡim5DWsSbsa
I would be dedicated to that cause, but doing so would threaten my humanity.
If I did give over to fatherhood, those last few drops would just be a glimmer. I would be feeding my old self to the hungry beast yearning to be fulfilled.
My human still hadn't returned for me, and possibly never would. She could live her life while I lived mine. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqkGrw1SEn
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeetZOgmVm1
We would be separate beings, just like my old humans wanted.
Perhaps, this is what I was here for? 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10XyeaMc1F
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GQzG5mdXs
To build a family in literally the only way possible for me? 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMHdHncxr9
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63T2eCDJrR
I wanted it so desperately, and the spirits had granted me my chance in thier usual twisted way.
They were becoming harder to ignore. Just like the beast sparking to life at Bee's yearning for affection in her sadness.
I... wanted this?
The humanity slipped and skidded further down the throat of the beast.
I... wanted this!
I wanted to protect this feeling with everything I had. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCYRVeth9p
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtS59xmpp7F
Nature was cruel, but I had proven I was strong enough to survive it. I could start over with someone who wanted me by her side, and with a daughter already to call my own.
We could work on everything else along the way. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56BsahZECK
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4264lCOo0N
I had already been ready, but with someone who would never see the happiness I had a chance to achieve here.
It would be without her, but it would be achievable if I just let it be.
So, I would do just that.
The beast drank up the glistening drops of humanity greedily. A single, gleaming sliver dripped from its mouth to nestle into the pit of my being where it hid in silence.
I watched my daughter slip down to pick the bones below for more meat while Bee rested there happily and whispered to me.
Words spoken only through noise were now understandable. I had sacrificed everything for that one glimmer of hope that was the start of everything.
The beast was awake. 102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwc6iPRrO7
102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡres8EIwygn
It sparked life through me, and forced all thoughts onto what my next move would be.
Survival.
ns 15.158.61.6da2
