I got home feeling like the shittiest person in the world.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxrDBH1rwQ
I looked in my dad's liquor cabinet to see if I could find something to ease up the flood of emotion coming. I found a bottle of Maker's Mark that would suffice for now. I poured it over ice in the kitchen and heard the front door.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeILqXexvMA
"Thomas?" I heard my dad as he entered the kitchen. He gave a disappointed sigh as his eyes turned from the glass to me.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzv9r0tNAq
"Thomas, I need to talk to you."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBf2EZ6dOHw
I nodded.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOYBtymZ2r
"I need you to respond back to me with words this time." He said this time a little more stern.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hhL6VF1yB
"Okay."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjWiVZi02Y
He sat down on the chair pushed by the kitchen island and prompted me to do the same. I sat down taking a sip of my drink.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrQjReGHX9
"Son, I know I haven't been the best father in the world, but I tried my best to make you and your mom happy." He paused before continuing. "I need some effort from you to get better. There's only so much I can do for you."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBl1hsynHLk
"I am trying."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFkUpyG1ac
"As much as I would love to believe that you are, your actions show me different. So to ensure your efforts, you're going back to school in the fall. Real school, not that laptop you're always on. Also you're going to start therapy. I set up a consultation with Mrs. Meyers for Thursday and you are going."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYOpEmF7Y3
"Dad, therapy doesn't work."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGA53KfFs4
"Well something has to. I lost your mom, I can't lose you too."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUiaEvks0b
I remained silent after that. I couldn't retort anything back because there was nothing left to say. I nodded and looked at the glass before finishing every last drop. I put the glass on the table and went straight to my room. I laid on the bed staring at my ceiling a while thinking about what Frankie and my dad said.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiFUeDsnu0
I sat up and went to my desk and took down the pinned card on the wall. I traced over the engraved name and numbers.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokOGQuy9sc
248-434-5508
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbn3AiGcZo0
Summer Meyers
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8WkT7dthN
I hummed with curiosity remembering back to the night I met my fathers friend. She told me she wasn't the most expensive therapist but she helped her through hard times.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbGG1Mi06y
I just hoped that it would be the same for me.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ABg2FfIxZ
The next couple days flew by me. My perception of time was distorted so I was never really aware that the day had changed until I checked my phone and realized it's been weeks.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8s9hrjoG1O
Thursday came and I felt anxious. I debated on whether or not I should go or pretend I went and lie to my dad but he was the one driving me. He forced me to ride with him to make sure I actually ended up going. We reached the building and I pushed my hair back in an attempt to keep my hands busy.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3exrL86xC
"I've got work but you can call the driver to come get you." I nodded and looked back to the small red bricked building ahead. "You'll be great." The click of the car doors unlocking went off and I took that as a friendly please get out of my car from my dad. I walked over to the building and he zoomed off.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9UOdXNS5n
The inside was nothing like my moms old building. Hers was bigger and the inside was all white almost hospital like.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58De7DUKpc
The lady at the front desk smiled and greeted me. I gave her my name and she gave me a lengthy stack of papers attached to a clipboard. I sat down and filled them out one by one not really paying attention to the information. Once I handed them back to her I took a seat next to a middle aged woman. She looked like she'd been crying.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnr1ypdPjh
"Thomas Keen?" A female voice sounded from the door. I raised my head to see a small framed woman with short black hair and thick glasses standing by the door holding a notebook.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIrBI7DoY5
She flashed a friendly smile and pushed her squared glasses up. I rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans and walked towards her.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XQK4kfMT2
"How are you today Mr. Keen?" She beamed. She seemed too happy. Almost annoyingly happy in the fakest way possible.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsHYeXgKrc
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2SGQ0uFYX
"I'm fine."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64DEmv4rKG
"If you would follow me back to my office, we can get started." She turned over and started walking down the short hallway of rooms with different names on the door. We reached the last room in the hall and on the door it read Mrs. Summer Meyers .
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSBiPaugaf
The room was small, humble looking and kind of home-y. A burnt orange couch sat in the center of the brown wall and two smaller lounge chairs sat across with a table in the middle.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOc6ivr9Ncz
"You can decide where you'd like to sit." She gestured towards the chairs. I chose the most comfortable, the couch, and she sat across from me in the smaller chair. She flipped through documents periodically pushing her glasses up and examining some pages closer than others. After a few seconds she plopped the papers on the floor and opened up a journal like book.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbw1yJy5vQ
"It's nice to meet you Thomas, my name is Summer Evans but if you'd like you can call me Summer. Do you have a name you'd like to go by or is just Thomas okay?
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPB7jGKfZ8q
"Just Thomas." She nodded jotting a few words down.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKP6i8bIUKO
I don't know why I felt so anxious. It was like I was in a lab and was being examined by a scientist like I was some kind of freak of nature. I looked around the room familiarizing myself with her office. She had no pictures of family just nature and a brown cat picture hung from the wall.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJ5cHccf1i
"Thomas, I want to preface our visit with something important. You aren't obligated to talk about anything you don't feel comfortable with. Our conversations are private and confidential. We go at the pace you're comfortable with, so if I ask a question you're unsure about we can switch it out with something else. Sound good?" I nodded still not being able to look directly at her.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56T8xogFFH
"Let's start with why you're here today. Can you tell me what brings you in?"
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUdHaeCVbd
"My dad and my ex girlfriend told me I should get help."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFYot0K8zj
"So this wasn't a personal choice, rather something you're doing for them?"
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FGtfqva1D
I nodded and she jot down more words into her notebook.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBW5r0w0Rgj
"Why do you think they wanted you to join therapy?"
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pBVmjfH7v
I shrugged. "My mom died."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BxkftplGH
"I'm sorry for your loss." She spoke sympathetically but I couldn't tell if it was from a place of pity or if she was just doing her job well. "How long ago was this?"
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf19HBboDpA
"Seven months ago."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfd04E2XApz
"That was quite recent. How have things been for you since her passing?" She continued writing.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaJnyJ2sN9
I stared at her notebook curious as to what she was scribbling in there. I shrugged in response to her question not really feeling like going in to detail. She stopped writing and pushed her glasses up.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kZmdCYFSi
"Can I ask, how she passed?"
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRZXvjIujd
"She committed suicide." I shared somberly.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9msU2B3Iy
I looked out the window trying not to think of it too long. I focused on the cars passing by on the main road and the way the wind moved the leaves on the trees. It was calming and kept my mind away from that night. If I would have stayed up longer, or woke up earlier maybe I would've heard it. How would I have known it wasn't going to be like every other night? I could've caught it earlier on and maybe stopped it.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8h5q70nYfi
"Thomas? Thomas?" Mrs. Evans repeatedly said my name but it wasn't till the last time I turned my head to give her my attention.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9D0nUBKzbq
"Yes?"
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy50UuIgoX7
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM5Fs4auVu
"I asked if you wanted to continue talking about your mother?"
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Bmb0HqnGn
"Oh. Let's talk about something else."
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uD3qYTY4d
She wrote down more notes and grabbed the pitcher of water on the glass table in front of us. "Would you like some water?"
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUPwUogwhs
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYwIj2XeXh
I shook my head. She sipped on her water in a pink coffee mug and placed it back on the table. The rest of the session felt like agony answering questions about myself. I barely said another word and avoided questions that couldn't be answered with a head shake or a nod. I left the office and called my driver to come get me and on the ride home I sat in silence staring out the window.
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKj0LbihSZf
.
ns 15.158.61.19da2
