I did not forget about it.
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I walked into my lecture thinking about Summer. I hope she's okay.
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"Hey Tommy." Frankie called over for me. I sat down next to her grabbing my text book from my bag and sliding it on the desk. The lecture began with boring slide shows and explanations on when our first exam was and the material we needed to learn. I absentmindedly doodled on the page with my mind still stuck on yesterday. I couldn't get my mind off of it. I was worried about Summer. She seemed really broken and hurt and I couldn't shake it from my head. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, or come off as a stalker after watching her moment of vulnerability.
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"Who's Summer?" Frankie interjected my deep thoughts. I glanced over, puzzled by how she knew I was thinking about her or even knew about her until I noticed her pointing at my notebook where I had absentmindedly sketched Summer's name. "Oh, she's my therapist," I explained while erasing the unintentional doodle from the page.
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"You're in therapy now?"
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"Yeah."
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"That's great Tommy!" She exclaimed. Something about hearing her enthusiasm for me gave me a feeling of contentment. It was short lived though, West's presence filled the empty seat on the other side of her. He glared at me before sitting down and grabbing his notebook to take notes. I couldn't see what Frankie saw in him. I don't even remember why I was ever friends with him either. He's an ass.
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"Hey Frank." He tapped her shoulder to grab her attention. The subtle look of annoyance washed over her face and she shook her head no subtly. They didn't know I knew they were messing around behind my back and I hadn't brought it up either. I decided against it because I knew West was right about what he said in the bathroom. I no longer wanted them to feel the need to pity me. If they want to be together, who was I to defy it.
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Class ended and I rushed out of the lecture hall trying my best not to run into anyone I knew in fear of an unsolicited conversation. Of course with every odd against me, Frankie caught up with me. "Hey Tommy, you okay?"
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"Yeah why what's up?"
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"Nothing it's just you left the party abruptly and rushed out of lecture." She held her gaze on me intensely trying to read me. She wasn't getting anything out of me though, I was great at masking my feelings when it came to situations like this.
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"Yeah, I just gotta get home. I've got a bunch of homework for lab and english."
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"Oh, well if you ever want to get together and study-"before she could finish her sentence West's arm wrapped around her shoulder making her jump. "Wes! You scared me!"
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"Sorry Frank." He chuckled at her expression and she hit him in the chest."Sorry was I interrupting something?"
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"No, I'm leaving."
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"Did you want to get lunch with us? We're going to the old spot by Ridgeview." Frankie asked kindly but I didn't feel like eating with West there.
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"No I'm okay. I've got to change the flowers at my mom's." I regretted saying it as soon as the words slipped out because their faces went somber. "Right, I forgot it's around that time."
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"That sucks." That's all West said while pouting almost tauntingly.
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I left them and walked to my car. I drove to the flower shop and picked out an assortment of flowers making sure there were purple ones included since that was my mom's favorite color. Once I reached the site where she was buried I took the old dead flowers that laid on top and replaced them with lively vibrant Lilacs.
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"Hey mom." I talked to myself outloud. I knew she couldn't hear me but pretending she did was easier. "Everyone wants me to get over your death like it's been years but it's only been months."
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"Frankie and I broke up. I mean, we broke up in January but she told me she's talking to someone new so it feels a little more real now. I started therapy and I know you're probably wondering why after all these years would I decide to go now after you begged me to and I refused." I leaned on the engraved stone. "Things are different now and I guess I've changed."
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I talked for another hour before I felt pathetic for talking to myself for so long and said a final goodbye. I drove home and started on my homework but couldn't really focus on the words in front of me. I took my phone from my pocket and contemplated texting Summer. I knew she wouldn't answer if I texted her casually considering she wanted to keep things professional but I wanted to know if she was okay.
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"I feel distracted." I sent her an "I Feel " text from our exercise hoping she'd respond quicker that way.
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"Hi Thomas, what's on your mind?" She responded within a few seconds. "I just got back from my mom's grave and I can't focus on any of my school work."
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"When does your school work need to be turned in?"
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"Friday." I responded. "There's quite some time in between now and then, I think taking a short break might help you clear your mind a little bit. Is there something enjoyable you'd rather be doing?"
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"Talk to you." I replied instantly. She took a second longer to respond. "Sure, what did you want to discuss?"
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I thought for another minute and decided to wait till tomorrow's session to bring up what I saw. I didn't want to text it.
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"Actually, I wanted to ask something about you." I sent the message but her responses were not as fast as usual. "Alright?"
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"Do you have children?" I typed the first thing that came to my mind in a panic. I had no idea what to ask after changing my mind about my confrontation. I just made some shit up and sounded weird asking a personal question.
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The type bubble was moving indicating her creating a response but it disappeared after a couple seconds. She didn't answer for almost five minutes. "No, may I ask why that was something you were curious about?" She finally replied.
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"I'm not sure actually. I just asked the first thing that came to mind." I said truthfully.
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"Thomas, if there isn't anything else you'd like to talk about regarding yourself I think you should try to focus on your work."
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I closed my phone and laptop and placed myself on the bed. The doorbell rang the minute I got comfortable. I waited for my dad to get it then realized he was still working.
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I groaned, grudgingly dragging my feet to open the door. "Frankie? What're you doing here?"
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"Hi Tommy, can I come in?" I cracked it open a little more so that she was able to walk in. We went up to my room and I grabbed her a bottle of water from the mini fridge while she sat on my bed.
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"It's cozy in here." She stated gulping down the bottle of water. The room wasn't a complete mess but it was only because I stuffed most of my clothes into the closet. I didn't want her thinking I was a slob, it was just hard finding the motivation to really organize.
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"So what brings you here? I thought you were going to lunch with West." I put emphasis on his name unintentionally.
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"I don't know I was just thinking about you and wanted to stop by and check on you." She spoke uneasily. "I know it probably doesn't make sense for me to be here after our talk at the cafe but I just wanted you to know I still care about you."
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"You don't need to worry about me, I'm fine."
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"I know you are. I'm really glad you started talking to someone about everything and it's nice to see you out more." She brushed her hand on my arm then pulled it away. I usually felt relaxed by her touch but with us growing apart it felt like a stranger touching me. It was cold and unfamiliar. "Thanks. Is there anything else you wanted to say?" I hope she got the hint that I didn't really want her here anymore.
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"No...I guess not."
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"I'll walk you out."
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