I learnt a lot about River.
His favourite flavour of icecream was Baseball Nut. He liked the way the cashews crunched under his fangs when he bit into them.
He had a thing for that snapping sensation under his teeth. 111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyYSnnwjYt
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He loved tomatoes just to have the skin split and pop, and grapes were the same.
There was something about his mutated life he missed. He liked the feral rush of it all and feeling powerful. The obsession with crushing things was from that time long gone. The skin around his knuckles had been twisted from the times he had taken to them to try and sate his desires.
I understood it all perfectly. I missed my wings and could only get that sensation of flight by sitting on the edge of the cliff overlooking the fisheries lining the waters. 111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWGMxyGao6
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It wasn't the same; we both had to accept that.
His favourite colour was yellow. He loved the rich, bold yellow that popped up in children's books and traditionally represented the sun. To him, it was a happy colour in a dark place. To me, it was the thing that made his face light up and his smile grow wide.
He had a job with those fisheries by the water too. 111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OXDaaaICu
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It was a little shack with its own viewing hole built into the floor that customers could watch the fish through as they waited for thier boat that would take them sightseeing.
It was River's job to make sure there was a sight to see. He would slip into the viewing hole and stir up the fish for the customers to gawk at. Then, when it was time to leave, River would join them on the boat and plunge into the ocean to give them the show they had paid for. 111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHg0XvJLtY
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Dolphins were the most popular. River laughed at how easily he could get them to surface near the boat and frolic around. 111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy62SlAb422
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That brought in the cash that the surrounding stores wanted. And because River didn't have to worry about drowning or human laws, he was able to slip through those loopholes.
They were good to him too, those humans. They let River have his fill of fish when he dove for them, and paid him his own cut of the profits.111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtt0L4f5vN
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The humans also had thier own pearl jewelry they sold out of thier water shack. River was the one who sourced thier pearls too by collecting them in the bag they provided for him. They even marked his location with a floating yellow buoy so he wouldn't be at risk to other boats passing through, or drifting away.
I liked watching the yellow buoy bobbing on the surface that had his name scrawled onto it in big capital letters. 111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Tdjz7wDO5
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I liked to think he was down there, living in the moment in his area of tranquility and happiness as the buoy moved about in such a funny way.
Seeing River's head pop up to the surface just to sneek a peek at me or feel his fingers tug on my legs I dipped into the water always made me feel all bubbly inside. He loved teasing me, just like he used to years ago.
He still was exactly how he had been. His spots had trapped him much earlier than they had to me, and this had taken a toll on him.
Back then, I remember how distraught he had been on gaining them. Now, he had learnt to accept them, but still couldn't push past what he was missing.
River was extremely broody.
For a demon of twenty-seven, his overwhelming urge to nurture something as his own had gradually spiraled out of control.
With Lavender and Darcy's children, he could divert his attention to them and blow off some of that steam. But now that they were older and saw him more as an uncle than a father he craved to be, he turned to Moss.
Moss was his guilty pleasure. Being a demon too, River felt like he had a special bond with the baby he had found. But, it wasn't his. Moss was Lavender and Darcy's son, as they had decided when things were spiraling out of control on his arrival into the family.
Now with me here, River was losing himself again to those squashed dreams that made him act like a feral beast if challenged.
He would make an excellent father with how protective he was, but something had to give if he was going to make it that far. Neither of us could have children; a point that only frustrated him more than anything.
For now, the deep waters and time alone in them helped soothe his aching soul. It gave him time to calm down and refocus his attentions elsewhere, and gave me the chance to take in the serenity of everything without River's hormones tugging on my own feelings each time we were together.
It only reminded me of how much time I had missed with my own children. I had to keep reminding myself that they were eleven year old wild animals now. They'd have families of thier own, and thier children would have children. They followed nature's law and not those of humans. To a wild creature, ten years was approaching a lifetime.
And Pretzel. She hadn't seen of heard from me in that time either. She would be happy with her family, wherever they were now. Hopefully they were still in the flower fields, but that was a long time for one family to remain grounded. I was sure they were creatures who liked new scenaries and fresh changes. She would still be a child, as she would be forever, but still keeping count of her adult years lost to time.
With this year quickly passing, I would have to reconnect with her. She was still my daughter, after all. 111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOBhHtAiSP
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Having River's reminders only made me painfully aware of how neglectful I had been now I was out of isolation.
We were focusing so much on each other and reconnecting those lost years, that I was unknowingly breaking another bond in the process.
Keeping up with everything was tough. Now that I had the resources, there was no excuses anymore.
I watched River's buoy bob back towards the shack. I checked my phone, typing a quick message to Lavender that we were finishing up.
Our relationship wasn't how it had been. We were still friendly towards each other, but it had been made clear that Darcy was her priority, as River was mine. 111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhbTKvovpd
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We all lived together in a strained harmony and really only bonded each night over dinner and the nightly family game.
I think it was going to be a new party game on the console tonight. River had been boasting he was going to roast them in it before heading for work.
He was all smiles when he exited the shack and eagerly dried himself off with the towel I handed him. The spots across his bare shoulders gleamed like specks of seafoam before his towel covered them up.
He was quite proud of himself, as he was after a successful hunt. Work boosted his enthusiasm and turned him into a happier person until the excitement wore off once more.
We could keep it going until bed tonight. Then, his mind would snap back to the cravings and we would take advantage of those wild feelings as quietly as we could.
It was funny trying to not get caught in our own home. The girls were way too cluey to any unusual noises in the night and were sure to piece it together if they heard us. As for Lavender and Darcy, well, they knew what was bound to happen between two demons they had both been intimate with before.
River was riding the high until dinner was served and he took his usual place at the end of the table. I sat to his left; Harlow to his right. Tori took my left, and Darcy took Harlow's. Lavender sat at the other end with Moss in the highchair between her and Darcy.
River had a clear view to them, no matter where he sat. It made me self-concience of the effect it would be having on River who pushed at his beans.
For someone who loved snapping things, he hated beans. These ones flopped on his fork he held up and jiggled, making Tori hold back laughter.
I nudged River and lowered his fork he stabbed into the beans to pile them onto it.
He wanted to set a good example for the girls, but he wasn't hiding his disgust for the vegetable through his wrinkled nose and glum expression to me.
Such a funny thing he was.
He kept quiet through the conversations flowing around him. Harlow was especially excited to announce she had been invited to the school choir, and Tori gushed over how her teachers had commended her for a story she had writen for English.
Lavender was pleased with thier success. Darcy chuckled at thier enthusiasm and the way they talked over each other to get his attention, trying to clean up Moss who messily ran his fingers through the paste on his feeding tray.
"What about you?" Lavender diverted her attention to me "you've been awefully quiet about your day today."
She was trying to snap me out of my worry for River whose eyes glanced up to Darcy and Moss before dropping to his food he pushed around again.
"I made sure River didn't drown again" I smirked at my joke "someone has to watch for boats."
I nudged River when I laughed and heard a little chuckle fall out of him.
"Arent you feeling well?" Lavender frowned "you've barely touched your food."
"Oh, uh, I just don't like beans" River mumbled back with a forced smile "it's not you."
He had only touched a forkful of potato. The rest of it had been scraped around and prodded at.
"I was thinking about New Year's" he added.
Harlow gasped loudly.
"YES! Can we go see the fireworks at the bridge this year?" she asked loudly "everyone is going to be there and there will be rides and a whole carnival!"
"And Morri Worri" Tori teased.
"We'll have to see" Darcy smiled to them "your grandma and grandpa were going to meet us over by the town green. We could try and get to the bridge afterwards. It's not that far."
Harlow's excitement fell and she turned back to her food glumly.
She wanted to watch them with her friend. And I wasnt sure if I was comfortable being around Mum and Dad after the last time we had seen each other. It would be so awkward. 111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SxkZV7xdD
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Where would you pick up from there?
"We can take the girls" I offered, but saw Lavender's face grow hard "after seeing thier family, of course. That's important."
"I was hoping you'd both be there too" she spoke "it has been a while and they'd love to see you especially, Teddy."
Her voice was pleading playfully, but her eyes were burning daggers through me.
I knew I couldn't weasel out of it. It was wrong and she wanted me to make things right without spilling it all out in front of the girls.
"Darcy doesn't like fireworks" River spoke up now "we will have to go with him."
"I'm fine, River" he chuckled back "we won't be under them anyway. You can do what you want this year. Why don't you take Teddy and go to the bridge? We can meet up with you later. I'm sure you don't want to hang around listening to Grandma and Grandpa talk about good old days and all that."
Harlow and Tori groaned. Lavender muttered to Darcy who spoke back under his breath.
River's ears perked up at the opportunity and he speared a carrot at last.
"Me and Teddy will go to the bridge. Alone" he agreed.
"But we talked about making things better" Lavender almost whined back "Mum and Dad wanted to catch up and have a grown up conversation with Teddy."
The girls were listening closely as they ate. River let out a little groan, biting the carrot.
"There are other things we want to do too" he glared to both Lavender and Darcy, trying to say with his eyes what his mouth couldn't "ah-lohn."
Was he really spelling out what I think he was? I kicked the side of his foot to try and get him to drop the subject that was making Harlow smirk at River.
Lavender and Darcy turned back to thier food. Looks were exchanged between them and River who stabbed his fork into his steak viciously.
"I want a baby!"
The silence was sudden. Utensils clattered on the plates, and Tori stiffled her snort that Darcy nudged her to promptly drop.
I felt the pit of my stomach drop and saw River grimmancing to me, his ears down low.
We had always discussed this in private, and both Darcy and Lavender knew about River's broodiness, but this was the first time it had been blurted out in front of the girls like this.
River was embarrassed but determined to make sure his plans weren't misinterpreted before him.
"I want to go to the bridge and try and catch another baby like Moss" he spoke, letting his voice trail off that he silenced with way too much food "I know it's stupid, but the New Year is the only time the spirits fall down."
"River" Lavender soothed "we know how you feel about all this, but you need to think about what could happen..."
What could happen?
"Are we getting another brother?!" Tori and Harlow blurted out over each other in astonishment.
River's tail tightened around mine for comfort.
"I know the risks" he grumbled back "and I don't give a flying f.u.c.k about them. I want a baby. Why can humans have one but not me?"
"Girls, why don't you two go pick your characters for the game?" Lavender diverted thier attention as she picked up thier unfinished dinners "and I'll bring dessert in?"
They cheered over getting out of finishing thier dinner early and raced for the living room.
River held his head in his hands and let out a sob.
"I want this so badly" he complained to Darcy who moved closer "you both have it all; I want a baby too."
"River" Lavender came over to rub his back while his arms wrapped around my middle so he could bury his head into my side "I want you to have a family too, but I just don't want you to go through all that pain if it gets spots like you did."
"Why would that matter?" I grew defensive now, holding River "why would that? There's nothing wrong with that."
I felt personally attacked. I felt like she was targeting River too when he was literally crying to her about his suppressed urges.
"No, no, Teddy" Darcy butted in when he saw my anger "it's not to do with the spots, it's to do with the age they get them. They changed the rules so a demon can have a demon child, but they also added in a couple since then."
River wiped his face on me, resting it on me while I shielded him in my arms.
"If it gets spots before it turns two, they.... put it down" Darcy whispered to me.
"THEY CAN DO THAT?!" I cried out in disgust before lowering my voice "they can't do that!"
"They can and they will" Darcy nodded, rubbing Lavender's hand on his shoulder that slipped away so she could tend to Moss "they said it was inhumane to keep a baby like that all its life. They think of it as recycling the soul into a better life."
River scoffed through his steadying breaths that trembled through him.
"They rehome ones below ten if they can get them from the parents. They don't want demons raising demons. The same rules don't apply to humans raising a demon child."
If they could get them. My Pretzel was eight, and they hadn't forced her from Bee or her old mate. Perhaps Bee was far too aggressively protective to let that happen? 111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuIS65DdIP
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I would have killed any human trying to take my daughter away.
"I gave them Moss so that didn't happen" River held me close "I couldn't do that to him."
"He doesn't....?" I peered over to the baby being taken away for a bath.
"No."
"I'm not going to let it happen" River growled "I'll go to isolation all over again for that baby. No-one is taking him from you or Lavi; they'll have to deal with me first. And I'll do it again for my own baby. No-one is taking it from me."
Darcy's hand held River's and his eyes gazed into his sympathetically before turning up to me with the same sad look.
"What if you don't catch one this year?"
"Then we will try again next year" I spoke firmly now with a comforting squeeze on River's shoulder "and every year until we do. We need this."
He needed it. He wasn't going to calm down until he had that baby demon nestled in his hands. And I wasn't just going to stand back and let him struggle through that search alone.
No-one would touch that baby. It would be our baby.
Just the thought of it made me want to harm anyone who came near our child. It wasn't even here yet and i was already feeling the surge of protection charge through me like how it had been with River.
Our baby. I could see him being such a good father. We would never let it out of our sight. We'd be such a great family.
"It'll be a Cecilia, won't it?" Darcy smiled to River as he leant up to wipe his tears away "or another Moss?"
"You had baby names picked out?" I chuckled to him.
"Ever since we were little" Darcy laughed "River wanted a boy named Moss, which was like his own name, or a girl named Cecilia after the flowers he saw on one of our trips out to the botanical gardens."
"Darcy wanted a girl named Harlow, after our 'Hollow' we used to hide in, or a boy named Bryce after one of his favourite book characters."
"So, what about Tori?" I grinned with a glance up at the girl poking her head around the archway to see where her opponents for the game where "Sprig never talked baby names with me."
Darcy grinned at me and got to his feet so he could pat my shoulder and prepare the dessert the girls eagerly waited for.
"Tori is because of you, Teddy" Darcy pulled out the icecream from the freezer "they sound similar and we both thought it would be nice to name her after something that made her happy."
I felt the pang in my chest and the tears glisten in my eyes.
"So, the next one will be Racer then?" River piped up to make me laugh and Darcy turn around with a raised eyebrow.
"Are you actually giving me your blessing for more children?" he shook the icecream scoop at him in elevated astonishment "River! Not once would I dream of you actually handing me over to my own partner! I'm honoured."
Darcy's voice was dripping with sarcasm but the meaning behind it was sincere. He actually was surprised at how welcoming to the idea River was.
"Sprig! River actually wants us to have more children!" Darcy called out to Lavender coming out from the bathroom with a freshly washed and dressed Moss.
"River?" Sprig gasped and frowned dramatically when she passed us "the same River?"
"The same River" he rolled his hand to try and get them to finish up thier act "yeah, yeah, I said it would be nice to name something after me."
"There's the catch" Sprig giggled "would it be named Creek?"
"Frog!" Tori added from the living room.
"No, it would be Mosquito Water!"
"Oh, ho!" River laughed out and got to his feet to charge to the archway that I leant on to watch his antics "Mosquito Water? That's it! I'm playing as the Apple Prince tonight!"
"No!" the girls choruses and giggled when they tried to take the controller back from him.
He parked himself on the couch and took a big spoonful of Harlow and Tori's icecreams from the coffee table behind them. I laughed at him and moved over for Sprig who handed over Moss to River.
"The baby is going to beat you all with his eyes closed!" River declared when he planted Moss's hands on the controller and held his own over them to guide him.
"In your dreams, Uncle River!" Tori retorted "my Black Gecko will flog you!"
"And I'll win with the Chompy Chameleon!" Harlow pumped a fist into the air.
I laughed with them as Darcy sat on the ground beside the girls and picked his way through the characters waiting.
"The Egg Head will not crack under the pressure!" he exclaimed to the groans of everyone around him.
Lavender pushed Darcy with her foot as she chose Princess Bindi.
"The slowest one!"
"What?" Lavender laughed "she's cute!"
I laughed with the others who got fired up for the competition.
Maybe in three days, we would be laughing and playing like this while River held our own little demon in his lap who was trying to eat his fingers.
As I watched him chortle and tease the others through thier banter to each other, I realised how badly I wanted River to find his fallen baby.
I wanted it as desperately as he did, and there was no way we were going to let it slip through our fingers.
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