"Pick out one of them" Bruce snarled down my ear.
I could smell the alcohol on his breath that burned down my cheek. My skin felt greasy just standing next to him. I wanted nothing more than to hurry backstage and disappear again amongst the crowds where it was safe.
I was frozen, just like when Tawn brushed against me. Something was making me freeze up in panic as I looked to the birds lined up above me, waiting.
They were all here, like he wanted. He wasn't going to punish me again.
I could still feel the pressure squeezing around by broken arm from being bent over like that. It drilled right into the break and made it pulse under the cast.
Looking up to the birds, I drew a blank.
How was I supposed to choose?
The first was Reed. I hadn't seen her since she cut my nails for the show that left me like this.
She obviously felt responsible for it. Her head hung low and her speckled brown hair hid her face refusing to look at us. She kept her little wings hidden under the black cardigan she wore.
Despite her sweet and meek nature, a Sand Piper was no replacement.
The one beside her looked over in concern.
Another smaller bird, this one sported all of its feathers. Most were crumpled beneath a loose blue shirt and stuffed into grey pants to appear human or cover it's striking colours.
The small person looked to be a Rainbow Lorikeet. The wings were it's arms, reaching across to brush Reed's face. The feet were purely bird, unable to fit any conventional shoe.
The bright blue head bristled as it's red beak whispered something to Reed to make her smile. Ringed with black around it's red eyes, the Lorikeet made me worry about it's personality on the stage.
They were known to be quite bossy and loud. This one didn't seem so, but I had to cast it aside purely for it's wings.
If Bruce did cut the wings of whoever I chose, he'd not only be removing it's wings, but also it's arms. It'd have nothing left.
No. The Lorikeet had to go.
Scanning down the line, I looked for more who were the same.
Five down, there was another.
This one was human-facing with black feathers spackled with a bluish silver peeling back to form hair.
The plumage pulled out across the chest to cover the rest of its body. It had bare human feet, but long silver nails.
The tail was long and forked. It looked just like that of a fish in the way it flicked outwards.
I had no idea what I was supposed to be. However, it had the same disadvantage of it's wings also being its arms.
The feathers spread outwards when it chattered to the others around it, speckled across the tops and whole. They seemed to be debating the need for clothing. The bird looked downwards and laughed, a thwanging sound accompanying it.
81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfRvWfpEEN
Smirking at their chatter, I saw two others leaning over in glee towards each other at seeing they were the same species.
The first was the third in line. The other was down in ninth.
They both were reliant on their wings as well that they spread out to greet each other. They both boomed out, grinning.
They both were young and small in size. The one in third was a female. The ninth was a male, slightly larger than her.
Silvery feathers covered them both. They were both majority bird. Both had small beaks that blended into the feathers. Both had the vertical swipe of brown across their yellow eyes; more zigzagging down their chests and across the tops of their heads.
The wings were mostly brown and accompanied with long silvery and lighter grown spots. It gave them the appearance of being wooden rather than real.
Both had the stumpy feet and toes. They tapped and spun, giggling to each other. They even stretched their necks upwards to look like a broken tree stump.
They really were cute. I grinned at their antics before I turned to Bruce.
"The ones with only wings" I started "they won't be able to climb or perform."
"Right, you lot" he spoke into the microphone "the ones with wing arms can fuck off."
He flicked a finger to make them move.
The two little ones gladly rushed over to greet each other and walk together. The four who had been dismissed didn't completely leave. They gathered right by the doorway up onto the strip to watch on.
The others shuffled to make the line near again. There were eight left, including the large Shoe Bill who had been the first to answer the call.
It stared directly down at us. With its prehistoric looks and intimidating stature, it wouldn't be suitable for a show where we wanted people to enjoy what they were watching.
"It can go" I pointed it out to Bruce who promptly told it to move on.
"She can go" I gestured to Reed who still hasn't lifted her head.
Bruce was quick with dismissing her too. She ran gratefully to the others, huddling in to wedged herself up the back.
Six left.
They closed the voids and looked down at us.
They all had their arms folded. Now I had to be pickier on types. I wasn't going to be responsible for taking away a wilder bird from its natural home when there were others who presented as more human.
One had its feathers on show out of the six. Two had bird legs. Three were beaked.
"Ask if they understand you" I leant towards Bruce.
He looked down at me, confused.
"If it's just copying the others, it won't understand cues" I explained "it'll be pointless."
"Useless more like" he huffed.
And it'll be wilder. It deserved to go back home at night rather than being trapped here.
"Ask the feathered one" I whispered to him "for its name."
Bruce didn't like being told what to do. He glared down at me and pointed to the feathered one to make it step forth.
It was a glossy black all over. The wings were tucked in to stop them getting in the way. From the way the shoulder bone stuck out on each one, the wingspan has to be quite wide.
It had a human face that was dusted with tiny white and yellow feathers over its cheeks and curved down it's chin to a point at the collarbone. I saw two patches of white on its thighs.
It didn't seem ashamed to be standing there without clothes to cover the feathers. It presented as human but was also bird enough to get away with leaving its feathers on show.
"Name" Bruce barked.
"August" it replied simply.
A female. It wasn't young like the others. It looked like it understood English too.
"What are you?" I called now.
Another glare was shot down at me that I ignored.
"A Great Cormorant" it puffed up proudly.
What was that?
"It's a fishing bird" another replied, scoffing at my confusion.
I saw it scowling at me when I turned to it. His dark eyes turned from me when it held its head high.
"No" I prompted Bruce to move August along.
Shuffling across, there were five.
"This is taking forever" Bruce growled to me as he leant close "just fucking pick one!"
"I want to make sure it's a good star for you" I replied before looking over at him "you don't want another accident. You want one who can hold on better than I can."
I knew how to keep on his good side. He thought I was doing it for him when I was really trying to decide who wouldn't be most affected by his decisions. He only let me talk like this to him because he thought I had worth and wouldn't turn.
He grumbled a little and let me breathe. The stench still lingered. I could taste the sour alcohol when I swallowed down my fear.
The next one in line was a tall man with pitch black skin. His small black afro was pushed forth a touch to look like a lumpy crest.
He had bright yellow cheeks that smudged up his jaw and towards his ears.
The wings were black too and very glossy. I could see a few lighter black speckles on the shoulders from behind his grey shirt.
This man had a tail that was the same yellow as his cheeks that hung down from the back of his brown pants. The thick feathers were tipped black and came to the back of his knees.
He had human feet nicely slipped into brown and white shoes.
He did look like a top contender for the position. He also looked like he could hold himself up against Bruce if he came after him.
Moving from him, I turned to the next one who had similar markings.
The one next to it was a young woman. Her short hair was spiked and curved into a peak at the top that curled slightly inwards. It was a nice yellow blonde colour too.
Her pale skin had freckles splashed across her face that almost looked silver. Her cheeks were a dull orange that didn't extend past her jawbone in neat circles.
She had one a cute dark green green cardigan decorated with strawberries that hid her wings. I could see her hands were also speckled across the top with the same silver freckles, along with a few yellow ones.
I couldn't see a tail on her, but I did notice she was one of the birds who had the predominant feet. The light pink toes splayed out from under her pants, each toenail white and grey.
I knew right away she was a cockatiel. She reminded me too much of the ones Adrian kept at home.
She was too ornamental to be something grittier.
"Not her" I shook my head and watched her move along.
Only four now.
The one that filled the cockatiel's place was the one who made the remark earlier.
I could tell straight up this guy was cockier than the others. He looked at me like I was an idiot, and generally ignored the others standing beside him, especially the larger yellow-cheeked one who was a head and shoulders taller.
His face had one black line underneath each dark eye. There was another that hooked around the side of each eye too.
His hair was short, rough, and dark brown with lighter tips.
He had on a black jacket with holes cut out for his black wings that had little brown scalloping patterns along them.
He was the other one with bird feet. Thick grey legs protruded from under his jeans and ended in curved black claws that he tapped impatiently.
I also noticed the guy had completely split lips from the claw marks raked under his chin to up near his ears. He sneered when he saw me lingering, peeling his lips up further.
I did like the looks of him too. He could hold himself up in a fight, but I was worried of how the results would look on stage. Bruce wouldn't want that on show.
I skipped him and went to the next.
The last three were the beaked ones.
The first had a bird head with white feathers. Brown was smudged across the edges of its dark eyes into a wedge. The inner brown parts flecked upwards into a spray.
The beak was pointed; grey on top and pinkish on the bottom.
The printed shirt covered most of the white feathers it spotted. The only colour difference was the wings on its back that were brown, just like the smudges at the eyes.
The spots along it looked more like a silvery blue and reminded me of water droplets.
This one also has a tail hanging from the back of its shorts that was barred brown and white.
There were no claws, only shoes on this one. They were light brown with a tiny wedge at the heel.
It was a Kookaburra. They were known for their laugh and almost comical butchering of prey.
I could already see that Bruce didn't like it. He scowled to me, making sure I didn't choose it.
I couldn't see it spinning up on ribbons or chains any time soon either.
I shook my head at the Kookaburra and Bruce was eager to get it to move off the stage.
The one beside it watched it go in confusion. The last leant over to watch it leave too.
The remaining two were both human-facing, but had beaks.
The first had a puff of light pink hair that graduated into a darker pink towards the base.
Down it's face and neck was a fine fuzz of dark pink feathers that peeked over the grey singlet.
The pink speckled down the arms before turning dark grey along the fingers.
The wings were a lighter shade of grey all the way through until the soft darker tips. I couldn't see a tail on this one either.
There were human feet on this one too. Grey and white shoes covered them nicely.
The small grey beak clicked as it whispered to the one beside it who nodded.
The other one had a much larger black beak that pulled into a sharp point at the tip.
All of it was pale, except for the mohawk that was a darker yellow. The surrounding hair was white and short enough to look like fuzz.
The skin was pale and unmarked by any freckles or blemishes.
The wings folded behind it were lumpy and mostly white, except for a few dirt smudges along the top feathers.
I did notice how I could see the shoulder of one wing but not the other. Looking past it, the bird was sporting a nice flowery dress with translucent ruffles on the hem and shoulders.
The fluffy legs pulled into two green shoes with buckled tops.
I didn't want to draw attention to the possible missing wing. As great as that was in a situation like this, this girl was no performer.
"Not the last one."
She moved along so the last three could stand together.
The yellow cheek, the torn lip, and the pink hair.
How was I going to choose between them?
I peered back behind me to try and find Adrian for a suggestion.
He poked his head around the dancers that were left, slapping both his hands on his cheeks.
The first one?
I ran my finger down my lip and saw him shrug. There were a few dancers who shook their heads. Others nodded.
Splaying my fingers out and wiggling them, I saw most shake their heads.
I turned back to Bruce.
"Not the last one."
It joined the others and I frowned at the remaining two.
"What are your names?" I called out to them.
"Alowyn" the yellow cheek responded.
"Is this so you can judge us based on how our names sound?" the split lip threw a hand up "what a load of shit."
"His is Oliver!" the pink one called, flashing a cheeky grin to him as he huffed and looked away.
I liked him. He could really give Bruce a run for his money, but he also looked like he wouldn't listen to a word any of the rest of us said.
"Alowyn" I pointed.
Oliver instantly looked over to him then down to us in shock. Not at being chosen, but at what that meant for someone who accepted it with only a nod.
"It's on you, Avery!" Oliver jabbed a finger to me as he stormed over to the others "it's all your fault!"
"Get back to work!" Bruce snapped at him as he huddled with the group to mutter quickly to them before they started to split up.
Alowyn fluttered over to stand before me on the stage. He looked down, just waiting for what to do next.
"Train him and get him ready for the show" Bruce snapped as he pocketed the dead mic and stabbed a finger into my chest, powering away "and change his goddamn name! It's stupid!"
As he continued to storm off, Alowyn watched him leave. I could hear Bruce ordering people where to go. Three scurried down the stage to rip out measuring tape and twirl around Alowyn to get the numbers they needed.
I took a step back for them. Alowyn obeyed without objection.
"I like the name" I smiled up at him holding out his arms as prompted "what kind are you?"
"Yellow-tailed" he replied, looking down on the body ducking under his arm to rush to the other side and hug around his waist "black cockatoo."
It wasn't exotic and far from endangered. I just hadn't seen any hybrids in the city. The wild ones flew in flocks that wailed out when rain was on its way.
"And what are you?" he eyed me "I don't see a single feather on you, except for the..."
He gestured to his own back to make me aware of mine. The seamstresses grew agitated at him moving.
Embarrassed, I dropped my eyes down.
"Black shouldered Kite" I mumbled back.
He smiled, nodding.
"So, am I going to be plucked too?" his voice came out almost in a little laugh.
I shrugged, giggling back.
"Depends if he likes you or not."
"Oh, so this is all for nothing?" Alowyn looked down at the others jotting down numbers, and pulled up the tape he was handed to come level with his head.
His eyes looked past me and I followed them to see Adrian approaching, looking unsure of my tall replacement.
"You'll be the one singing for me, right?" Alowyn returned the tape and extended a hand that caused another uproar before he lowered it "you're Adrian. I hear you when I'm sorting out costumes in the back. I deal with any rips and slips that may happen. I repackage the gold flakes, sew the sequins, and make sure the sparkle is there."
It was such an odd job for a tall guy like him. I could see him doing something up in the roof or anything else that required a fearless soul higher up, not such a simple task on the ground.
"And you like it?" Adrian raised an eyebrow back.
"Oh, yes" Alowyn grinned back "they're all so lovely and it's not hard at all. I get to tune it out and do my thing. It's relaxing."
"You'll be able to do the same thing up there" I pointed towards the roof "it'll just be you and the chains."
"Or ribbon" Adrian added.
"I'm no acrobat" Alowyn replied meekly "I'm a bit torn up, see?"
He turned and spread his wings, almost taking out a seamstress.
I saw the feathers were torn across in gouges that tore most of the actual barbs out, leaving only the shaft.
They were down near the bottoms of each segment. It would take forever to push out the old ones and moult into untouched new ones.
"How'd you do that?" I asked.
He folded his wings back in and made sure he was facing me before answering.
"Fighting."
Adrian shot me a look. He was regretting my choice. Maybe he thought that meant Alowyn would blow up at us at any moment, like what Oliver had?
"I can still use them" he insisted "for your show."
"Oh, no" Adrian chuckled "Bruce won't allow that. You'll be working without wings."
"With...out?"
His eyes drew down to my stumps once more.
"We'll just tie them for practice to get you out of relying on them" Adrian continued "I don't want you going to the van over something you can't control."
The reality was starting to dawn on Alowyn. He looked back to the others who were already starting to move back to their designated areas.
"I can't lose my wings" he muttered down to us "I've got to get back to my little sister and brother. They rely on me out there. I have to make sure they are fed and safe."
Adrian looked to me, waiting for me to answer. He wasn't going to have a say in affairs that weren't his to decide on.
"Nothing will happen" I reached out a hand to lay on his arms folding around to hug himself "I'll make sure of it."
He forced a little smile, still refusing to let go of himself.
"I've got to see them every hour" he spoke "they're still young."
Ok, that was going to be a setback, especially if Bruce wanted him show-ready.
Maybe I'd be forced to pick another one so soon after Alowyn?
"How about we start slow then?" I swept an arm to the stage hopefully "we can get you used to the ribbons first before you have to go."
Were we still using ribbons? Or was Bruce going to change it back to chains?
"Start with the hard one" Adrian leant close to whisper to me "if Bruce changes it, he should have no problem with the chains."
I nodded, checking that the seamstresses were all done with their measurements before leading Alowyn away.
"Claire is really nice" I said, pointing to the roof "she'll sort you out for basic safety. She makes sure it's all secure up the top and checks harness wires. She's great."
"She must work with Balae then" Alowyn smiled up at the roof "she is the Shoe Bill. She works with the snakes up there; Silera and Ezra."
There were snakes up there? That probably made sense to keep them somewhere dark and warm.
But how could the Shoe Bill work up there without being eaten by one of them? And how was Claire so comfortable turning her back to them when she was helping me?
"I'll go check it out" Alowyn decided "I just need a harness and something to tie my wings up, right?"
He was far too trusting. I nodded.
He took off running to the end of the stage to get enough momentum to jump into the air.
His climb was staggered and uneven. He dribbled out over the seating area so he could arc and beat enough force into his tattered wings to lift himself higher.
His tail did most of the work to steer him. I saw the yellow bars of it disappear up into the beams overhead when he found a ledge to climb up onto.
My heart ached to be able to do the same thing again. Even if it was poor flight like that, I'd give anything to feel weightless in the air like he did, even for a few more seconds.
Maybe then..... I'd be able to go home like he could....
Adrian slid up to my side, keeping his eyes on where Alowyn had disappeared. I still hadn't taken my eyes off it.
"We can take a break if it's too much" he nudged my side.
"He's perfect" I breathed back "he has everything and doesn't even know it."
Adrian tore his eyes off the roof to look at me. I saw the movement but ignored it, still staring at the darkness.
"Avery..."
I peeled my gaze and fixed it on Adrian, lowering it when seeing his soft sympathetic eyes started to stir my own sadness.
"He's lucky" I just mumbled to the floor.
"Hey..." he wrapped an arm around me to rub up my arm "...it's not all bad being down here with me. How would you fit into my car otherwise?"
I giggled, smiling.
"I like you for you" he grinned when I lifted my head to him "wings or not. The only thing I care about is making sure you are happy, ok? Even if I do get a few extra holes along the way."
Showing me his arm slathered in large plasters, I tried to withhold a giggle behind my smile.
"Sorry about that."
"Hey, it's to be expected" he grinned back "I might get some cool scars now."
He let go of my arm and bumped me with his hip cheekily.
I was just glad nothing changed between us after the sleepover.
In my dreams I had been devouring his guts.
In reality, I had Adrian's arm squeezed between my nails that I gouged into his skin. It took him kicking out at my leg to wake me and make me realize what I was doing. I didn't even know he had climbed into bed when I was having the dream.
I refused to tell him what it was about. I should have known that I could have acted out in my sleep. A few times I had been stabbing my nails through my sheets or had been twisted in them from the dreams. I should have known that time wouldn't be any different.
He refused to get it checked out and insisted it wasn't that bad. So, he dropped me off and was sitting in my bed when Tawn barged in to say he knew I had snuck off.
Next thing I knew, I was having a meeting with both he and Nisha about 'sticking together'. Now, I was here, brewing up jealousy towards my replacement while Adrian watched on.
It would leave more time for us, sure, but seeing how quickly Alowyn was swarmed and pushed into my position made me sting a bit at how easily I was shoved aside, like I was nothing.
My face was still on the posters outside. I had my name plastered on adverts and clips of my dance spinning in pop-ups.
When would all that disappear? When would it be Alowyn doing the same thing under a different name?
I heard the flapping of feathers and saw his drop down from the roof, holding onto the wire for the harness.
When he stood before me and handed it over, the flowing red ribbons billowed down from the roof.
The ash was scrubbed from them already. It was like it never happened.
"Are you ready?" he beamed.
Why did it feel like I was the one being taught my own job?
"Let's get the harness" I spoke to Adrian now who quickly rushed off, then turned back to Alowyn "let's start with the basics."
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I felt a little less threatened when I saw Alowyn struggling to grip the ribbons to wind them around his foot. The harness jerked around him when he slipped and tangled himself barely a metre off the ground. His wings splayed out to catch himself, fluttering to keep himself upright.
I didn't want them bound yet. I wanted him to get a feel for the ribbons before I took his safety net away.
There was no use training someone who was too scared to try
"You're doing good!" I encouraged, smiling "you've just got to kick out the foot to twist it better!"
I showed him how to do it, exaggerating my movements for him to watch.
"It's.... harder than... I thought" he puffed, tearing his foot out to try and copy how I had shown him "how do you....know you aren't....going to fall?"
"I feel where the ribbons are on me" I pulled my arm across myself to mime them "and after that, I can't be sure they won't catch me, hence the plaster."
He looked nervous. A broken arm would be devastating for him with a young family to provide for.
"We won't get as high as that for a while" I reassured him as the harness jerked again while he tried to flip the ribbon over his leg "I'll keep you close to the ground."
And if he did become that good?
No. He was struggling so badly. He wouldn't out- perform me so quickly.
He kind of reminded me of myself when I first struggled to climb.
I almost gave up so many times too. The chains were a bastard to try and work until I had my own mentor to work me through them, step by step.
Carisa was long gone. I had replaced her because she was becoming too old for the job. She would no longer be living after all this time.
I'd be gentle like her. The last thing he needed was another voice screaming at him that he was useless when he was already doubting himself.
I giggled at Alowyn, moving over to gesture him to stand on the ground.
"Foot over" I tucked the ribbon behind me "up and around."
Twisting it, it curled around my leg obediently.
"Use your hands to tell it where to go" I looked up to the billowing red sheet "if you want it to go back, pull it back with you. It's a long thing, so you need to give it time to move."
He looked up too, watching it sweep out when I pulled from it and handed it over.
"Step by step" I told him when he grabbed it "leg out."
Copying my pointed toe, he pulled the ribbon behind him. It snagged on the tops of his wings that he easily shook off.
"Up" I moved my hand.
He followed, getting smacked in the face when the ribbon swirled.
"Around."
He lifted his leg as it looped around it, facing me expectantly.
"You did it!" I cheered "that's the basic you need for all the tougher steps. If you can master this one, you'll be great up there."
He grinned back, wriggling out of the restraint so I could hold it again.
"You don't want it too tight otherwise you won't be able to move in it. Too loose and you'll fall right out."
Looping it around my leg for him to watch, I kicked off my shoes so I could twist my foot around the cool fabric and jump up.
Hanging barely a few centimeters off the floor, I showed Alowyn how the ribbon moved over my body by inching up and down.
"Two feet on the ground, Avery" Adrian called from over by the curtains where he had dragged out Tawn's cage to sit on top of to watch.
"You'll be doing the show without shoes, so you'll have the bonus of being able to feel how tight it is" I added, ignoring Adrian as I lowered myself back down "give it a go."
Alowyn looked hesitant to take off his shoes he grimaced down at.
"I've got wierd feet" he mumbled.
"Same" I spread my toes to show him I only had four of them.
With a little smile, he pulled them off and threw them out of the way.
Right there were three stumpy toes. They kind of looked like his big toe had been duplicated over again, instead of giving him normal digits.
"I told you" he squirmed uncomfortably when he saw me looking "I've got wild feet."
"Wild feet?"
He shrugged, playing with the ribbon to distract his hands.
"Yeah, you know, the longer you stay out there, the wilder you become; wild feet."
I glanced to Adrian who noticed, and moved closer to Alowyn as he unzipped his pocket and pulled out a phone.
"That's my little brother and sister. They're completely wild. No human contact."
He showed me the background after swiping across the icons. Right there was Alowyn's face right beside the begging beaks of two monstrously large black cockatoos.
These ones weren't average birds. They had two large feathery arms that gripped around the sticks they were all seated within. They looked more like griffons than anything else.
"You came from out there, didn't you?" he spread an arm wide "don't you remember being different than to in here?"
Frowning, I thought.
I knew I couldn't read or write when I left the nest. I was taught basic English from my mother and father who copied it from the people they heard.
It wasn't enough to get me by. I was far too naive to listen to Carisa tell me not to sign anything I didn't understand. The paper was still stamped with my three-fingered bird hand. I lost the roughness a few weeks after I signed the sheet.
In a few months, I had smooth human hands. My feathers fell out, except for the few patches I plucked to keep Bruce's happiness.
I had been wild once, but that was a different time.
Would Alowyn change too once he signed the contract? He already looked changed by his dark, smooth skin covering more of his body than actual feathers.
We always kept our wings. No matter how much change their was, nothing could take away our sacred flight.
Well... except for Bruce.
"You know how to read?" I asked now.
"Yeah" he nodded back "and write and speak. I made sure I was prepared before getting a job in the city."
"Bruce didn't make you sign anything?" I pressed "or stamp anything with your hand?"
He paused for a little.
"The only thing I signed was the thing saying I had a job here" he replied "despite all the NDA stuff, it was all legit; I made sure of that."
I had been so stupid. I should have been better prepared before I came here so excitedly.
I even stayed back to practice and get better with Carisa, rather than return home to my family.
The day I stamped that paper, I remember being so excited to tell my mother about how I had climbed almost to the roof without using my wings. I was going to rush home that night. She was going to be so proud of me....
But, I smiled through Carisa's garbled warning. I went with Bruce and pretended like I knew what was going on. I had my hand inked up and was guided to press it on the paper.
Then, I got to stay here. At first, I didn't know the weight of it. I thought i was special that I got to sleep over here while others left for home.
I was going to tell my parents all about the night I had by myself in my own empty room. But, I couldn't.
Morning came and I wasn't allowed to leave. Of course, I didn't understand. After a months of training and flying off to snuggle up with my family back home, Bruce grew paranoid enough that I would leave him and had my wings cut off in the van.
I hadn't seen my family in years. I still had the pull to return to where I was born, but it was useless trying to reach it without my wings.
"If Bruce wants you to sign anything else" I muttered sternly to him, checking he wasn't here to see me "don't do it. He'll make you like me."
I saw Alowyn eye my stumps. Nodding back, I made sure he understood.
"Don't sign the contract" I wanted him.
"But, he wouldn't have two aerial stars, would be?" he thought out loud "he wouldn't offer me one of he has you still here."
Maybe my time here really was limited then? After three months he'd have Alowyn ready by my hand. I'd be cast out. I'd be....
"He's had me too long to do that."
"But...well...." Alowyn hesitated and looked up at the ribbon "...never mind."
"You're only filling in" I stated, still questioning it all "after I'm better, you'll be back packing gold and mending rips."
There was a stern edge to my voice, like I was trying to convince him rather than myself. I was reminding him I wasn't replaceable.
"I'm not stepping on anyone's toes" Alowyn insisted, holding up his hands "I'm only stating what I'm seeing. The others think it too. He made you choose rather than do it himself."
He did. I found that a bit odd too. But, he had been drinking his sanity away when he called me down.
He wouldn't throw me out. It wasn't that easy.
"Practice what i taught you" I flicked a finger to the ribbon "try climbing up in the way I showed you."
Alowyn didn't move when I turned to march over to Adrian. Laying a hand on the cage, I purposefully ignored the stage so I could lean close to Adrian.
"I think there's something else going on with all of this" I murmered to him "he's thinking there's not going to be two of us."
He looked over to Alowyn wrapping himself up and then back to meet my eyes.
"What do you think?"
"The others think it too, so it has to be true, doesn't it?"
Adrian frowned in thought, reaching out to take my hand so I focused on him rather than my replacement.
"Why don't you ask Bruce?"
I scoffed at the thought. I could see him already denying everything as he drank his alcohol behind his desk, facing the camera feeds rather than me.
What if he said it was true? I didn't want him to laugh at my tears and call me names for feeling this way. Everyone would see me. They'd talk and make fun of me being so sensitive and weak.
"If it's getting to you..."
"It's not" I snapped, hearing how my voice almost growled out before I took a deep breath "it's not. We've got to keep the show running."
"Well, you better stop your 'show' from taking off his leg" Adrian leant over to point out Alowyn twisted up off the ground as he tried to climb like I had "and don't take it out on him. He's trying his best."
"I'm not..."
"You are" Adrian stated simply "he's in the same boat as you. Remember when you had to do what he is doing right now? He's got everyone's eyes on him but the ones he needs."
Turning again, I felt myself deflate when I saw how pitiful he looked at trying to prove himself so fiercely.
Like I had. Carisa has been there every step of the way, even if I was replacing her. Adrian was hired in time for my first show. He hadn't left since.
"I'll be right here" Adrian gave me a little nudge "remember, even though I may sing for him, I sang for you first."
Smiling back, I left his side to slide back on stage.
"I think I messed up" Alowyn grimaced down at me as his wings spread to keep himself from tipping back "I'm stuck."
"You're doing fine" I walked over to push against his backside to try and steady him back upright, grunting "you can do it!"
He grabbed for the ribbons and clung to them, slowly spinning as they unfurled around his trapped foot.
I snorted and began to laugh. He grinned back, still trying to kick off the bind.
"I remember being stuck about halfway up" I smiled as I reached for his foot "I was doing a drop where I was wrapped up in chains. You know what I did?"
"Fell?" Alowyn began to turn away from me.
I shuffled around as I worked on the ribbon.
"I tied myself up too well. When I dropped, the chains tightened all the way around my stomach. I was left hanging there like some sort of BDSM display."
I heard Alowyn start laughing.
"Carisa couldn't fly; she was human. They got out a ladder they used to wash the higher windows outside and I had to wait for someone to climb up and let me fly out."
Tugging, I pulled his foot free and saw how discoloured it had become.
"Shake it out" I instructed him, seeing him do it as it slowly turned white and then black again "now, not so tight."
I folded his foot up and saw him hesitantly put weight into it.
We both smiled to each other when he saw he wasn't going to be strangled again.
"I'm sorry I was snapping at you" I started as I checked his grip.
"Hey, I get it" Alowyn shrugged "it's your thing. I'd feel a bit annoyed if it were me too."
We exchanged another smile and I felt my body relaxing.
"Besides, Bronte and Soren will like their big brother putting on a show for them" he smirked "anything to keep them from tearing at my feathers."
He chuckled and I grinned at the memory of my crowded nest doing the same.
"Why don't you go see them?" I jerked a thumb in the direction of the door "I won't say anything if you go a few minutes early."
He unzipped his pocket to check his phone.
"I've still got half an hour."
I shrugged, grinning.
"I won't say anything" I chuckled "somehow I forgot how to tell the time."
He understood what I was implying and was down to the ground in an instant.
"Really?" he breathed.
I shooed him away, giggling.
"Go, before I change my mind."
He snatched up his shoes to shove back on, pocketed his phone, and clapped my shoulder before running off.
Watching him leave, I turned to Adrian to see him flash me a thumbs up.
Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all?
ns 15.158.61.42da2
