I feel my lungs take a breath on their own. It was something I had no control over. Waking up, I feel awful, drugged out. Looking around albeit my grogginess, my limbs are tied down which is a relief like you wouldn't imagine.
The room I'm in is small and the lights are off, door closed is fine with me. I listen gently in the atmosphere, not a sound is able to be heard except for the gentle spinning of a fan above me that is slowly turning and the hum of a heater that is also in the room, but like it's on standby.
All that is in this room other than the bed I'm on which I notice is portable meaning it can be transported from one place to another is one beside table each with a small lamp on it and a wooden, but also fabric based chair that looks comfy, but light weight to move around.
This room doesn't have any windows though that I can look out to see the night sky or the sun of and there is a small viewing window in the door.
I relax, feeling really calm unsure if it's me not stressing out or the medicine I've probably been drugged with. I thought Sebastian and Rain were going to do worse to me... Horrible things. This environment is more homely and less clinical than all the other rooms I've in before when I've awoken from being passed out somehow...
This peace I'm feeling right now is nice and I feel myself drifting back into a gentle, calming sleep of my own free will.
---
I'm waking up again, but this time it's because there is a slight disturbance in the room. I can hear what sounds like paper shuffling and the gentle scribble of a pen. I realize that my sleeve has been pulled up a bit on my right arm and something is wrapped around it, gently squeezing it, but not constricting it. What could it be? Why?
Well, at-least I know I can form conscious thoughts without problem! That's good, really good.
"Evening, Valerie."
I let out a slight whimper upon hearing a voice. It's male, but sounds gentle and the accent is a little cultural... Not like Sebastian's at all. At least I know it's not him which is a relief. Opening my eyes and gently turning my head, it's Owen. "Sorry about the noise and my unexpected intrusion while you were sleeping the sedative off. I was just coming in here to check your blood pressure, pulse, any signs of fever, your breathing. Things like that, y-you know as I'm a doctor...
We didn't know if you had swallowed anything o-or yeah beforehand. I also wanted to check up on you periodically as I didn't know how your body would react to the sedative. You can never be too careful, I say."
"S-Sedative?!"
"Yes... You don't remember?"
"No..."
I watch as Owen takes a seat near me and he undoes the blood pressure cuff around my arm, placing it on his lap and gently rolling my sleeve down. He takes my hand in his palm, gently turning it over and stretching out my fingers lightly and massaging my wrist.
"That feels nice..." I trail off, only earning a small, "Mmm." from him.
"Valerie, you were onto the edge of your team's dormitory's balcony. Ricky came to our home, waking us all saying that you looked like you were going to jump. After we arrived, you seemed fine, but also highly agitated and... Rain alongside Sebastian helped to bring you to a place of safety. The hospital is kind of over compacity so we brought you to our house, it's quite large.
The medicine you were on wore off and you became agitated again so I administered a light sedative again. It's the next day in the evening.
I've been checking on you about every 20 minutes. It's about 4 a.m right now and you seem like you are doing better. You were crying so much and screaming before that you were becoming dehydrated. I felt administering was the best choice to prevent you from falling further and to save you from any potential emotional harm or injury that you could have caused yourself if we let it... Go on."
"W-where are my f-friends?" I choke out in response to everything he just told me.
"I stayed behind to speak with them and explain the situation.
I'm going to just look after you a little while here. What you did was scary and could have turned into a very serious situation... Your team right now are back in bed asleep. Kelsey Launceston was it?"
"Yes, sir."
"You don't need to be so formal with me, Owen will do. Anyway, Kelsey, she was quiet upset as well. I felt bad, but I feel you deserve to know. I gave her a light sedative as well and right now, she's sleeping it off much like you were, but surrounded by the rest of your friends, safe back in the dormitory.
She was very worried about you. Anyway, I think you both are going to recover fine. I will drop by before breakfast and check up on her, but right now, I'm here to support you."
I nod, just listening to his soothing voice while also taking in everything his telling me. "Why are you doing this, Owen?" I whisper.
He turns bright red in the face. "Uh, uh, uh, I'm not saying you're a replacement, but you uh..."
"I what?" I snap, sitting up. "Woah, hey, no, lie down! I don't want you to sit up, not after what you've been through! Just lie back down, it's okay." He panics, forcing me to lie down.
"What is it you're trying to say? Spit it out!" I cry.
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"Okay, I want you to know that despite my bad choice of friends, believe I'm aware... I believe that I do try to be a good person and a good doctor. I care about anyone who comes in my door, but... You've heard about Dana who used to live here in this community I'm sure.
She suffered Anorexia too and despite our best efforts to help her get better, they weren't enough. We failed and if I ever get a 2nd chance to make things right for her, I will. But alas, she was one of the victims who count towards the high mortality rate your illness holds, Valerie.
We- Well, more I didn't want to see another life lost to it and... You remind me of Dana as well. Not just because her and you both starved yourselves or alternated between eating and restricting, but I like you...
You're pretty, you're brave, considerate, friendly, fair, loyal, a good tutor and role-model, I'd say even a leader. All things Dana and one of her friends was... It doesn't come along often. It's what Sebastian and Rain call: 'Elite', but I say it's just something that makes one human.
People are inherently good or bad, but people tend to err on one side more than the other and the qualities in you are the same qualities that we saw in Dana and a friend of hers. The perfect role-model leader, but also sassy, easily emotional and more. You all did well at balancing out who you guys were despite the problems you all had.
All people have problems. Anyway, enough about them... They're dead, we can't change the past and you seem to be doing so much better than earlier now, Valerie when we first brought you in here. You're not a Dana replacement in my eyes, okay?"
I nod, not seething, but uncomfortable and I don't know what to say so I opt for ignoring this talk of Dana.
"Was Kelsey able to breathe? Was her chest hurting, was she in pain?! She can sometimes can have panic attacks and- and-"
But he doesn't let me finish, placing my hand down gently and cupping my knee. "Kelsey is going to be just fine. As you will be too." He says, trying to soothe me once again.
I look away from Owen for a bit, just staring up at the, slowly rotating fan. I feel him pat my knee, then remove his hand and standing up. "You're tired, I'll let you rest a bit more. Then come see you again about 5:30 a.m, okay? I have some Hospital rounds to do."
"N-no, wait!" I choke out.
"Yes...?" He says slowly, an eyebrow raising.
"S-Sam-"
"Samantha, our former security guard?"
"Yes!"
"What about her, Valerie? You're tired and do need your sleep. We can talk more later in the morning. You don't need to deprive yourself of sleep."
"W-why did you let her die? You could have saved her and you didn't. Sebastian should not have been allowed to perform her surgery! H-He didn't even try to save her from exposure to Merge, Owen!"
I see Owen's eyes go wide at the words I just spoke. I see him take a seat again, bending down to me and he places his palm on my forehead.
"It's warm. You have a slight fever. It's not too bad, I can get you a cold cloth."
"Owen, Sam!"
"I heard what you said, Valerie."
"Then why are you taking my temperature?!"
"Samantha's not dead, Valerie. Why do you think that? Where did you hear that? Or is it a conclusion that you came to draw in your own mind?"
I stare up at him like that his a total idiot. What the flip is he talking about?! I'll play along for now... "B-but if she's n-not d-dead like we w-were told then where i-is she?!
Why hasn't she came back to the city? Avery's the leader of her friends small knit group now!"
"It's sad to say this Valerie, but she's currently unfit right now to be out and about, leading her team to potential victory in Rain and Sebastian's sick, twisted ideas of fun. She's alive, but in a coma. Merge is deadly. I'm glad Sebastian was able to make an antidote from Merge for her, but if she will wake up now or not is a waiting game, really."
"I'm so confused, Owen!" I tell him and then it hits me. Did I transition between outcomes while I was asleep? Shit, it's bad if I have!
"Valerie, what were you seeing, hearing or even thinking the last few days then?" He responds, standing up.
"I'm going to get you some medicine for your fever and in the mean time, I'm going to speak with Sebastian and Rain. We didn't know how sick you were, especially after going out into the frozen wasteland by yourself."
"By. My. Self?!"
"Yes. Sam followed you out there to bring you back after your friends reported you missing..."
"Then what is or isn't my reality anymore?!" I cry, upset even though I know he won't understand me. "Where do I belong, Owen?!"
"That's not something I can help you with overnight, Valerie. We need to get you more well now and then we join up our 'timelines' so to speak of what happened to you while you were slightly off the deep end. I don't believe you're psychotic per say, okay?
Look, I think you should sleep now, Valerie for a bit. I need to go and speak with Rain, Sebastian and the Guards. I'm sorry." He says tucking me in and leaving the room. I hear the door lock after his left. A headache is pounding against the inside of my skull making it hard to sleep, but somehow I do fall back to sleep and drift off into it deeply.
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