It's morning now and I can see a gentle light is on in the hallway. It's shining into my room gently. Owen left me to sleep hours ago, but I awoke some time later just thinking about everything I was told.
Have I really been out of it like Owen told me? Because even if is this another outcome of this timeline, I'm still me and if I've behaving the way he said I was, it means... I am truly unstable.
I can't begin to imagine what it was like for my friends that I love, seeing me in such a state if what I was told was true and where do I go from here?
Knocking on my door occurs. I shake my head to clear my thoughts after hearing a series of short knocks on the door. "W-who-" but I don't get to finish asking as the door slides open gently and someone is poking their head in.
"R-Ricky..." I choke out seeing it's him. He nods, looking down with a sad expression. His not wearing his on duty, guard uniform.
"G-Good m-morning, Valerie Woods..."
His stumbling over his words, his nervous standing infront of me! I squeeze my eyes shut. "Hey, hey, I-I don't want you to b-be scared of me right now. I k-know how vulnerable you are right now and all, but-but Owen wanted me to bring you some breakfast."
I open my eyes seeing him holding a plate of simple, only buttered toast and a cup of hospital grade orange juice. "D-do you want it, Valerie? You don't have to take it, but you just haven't been eating much and I-I will admit it that perhaps I was taking my invisible anger out on you, depriving y-you of food. I just-just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry.
I w-worry that this is my fault and I was the one w-who might have p-pushed you t-to blindly walk off into the snow and-and for you to try-try... Well, it doesn't matter now I guess.
T-the d-damage has already been done now, I suppose..." He says placing the plate on the beside table and his kneeling over, shaking and clutching his elbows in his hands.
I ignore the food, not feeling hungry. "I-I'm so c-c-c-c-"
"Cold? Oh, no, wait, confused!" He asks, finishing my sentence. I nod. He looks to the door and gently closes it and takes a seat near my bed.
"We won't have long. Ask me any question you want, Valerie. I'll tell you the truth. I p-promise!"
"I don't know what is real or not real anymore, Ricky."
"I know, neither do I or my friends somedays and I don't even know how to make it up to you at this point, Valerie..."
"Is Sam alive?"
He nods slowly, looking to his feet, hands shaking in his lap. "Y-your t-team reported you m-missing and we spotted you walking off into the snow. You had somehow snuck out.
Samantha went after you to bring you b-back. I-I loved h-her even though she was no longer a Guard, we grew quite close during the time she was and I reported to the leaders that you... Yeah, it took days, but we finally found you... It was at the cost of Samantha though...
I have never seen someone as small as you survive in a frozen wasteland on their own. I and my friends are literally asking each-other how you survived days out there, no food or water including the distance you walked and crossing a frozen river including climbing a mountain cliff face.
W-when we f-found you lying in the snow, you were h-hardly breathing...
Samantha did catch up to you at one point, but you fought with her and the river, frozen over, cracked. She fell into the water which is tainted from Merge and you ran.
Were all relieved that you hadn't been exposed to Merge, but you were highly feverish. Maybe you just s-snapped because of me and how... they-they... nevermind... Treated you and your brain just went on flight mode, auto-pilot or something. We don't really understand what happened to you and then you t-tired to... yeah..."
I close my eyes shaking, taking in every word. "W-what about the white f-flower and yelling at me?"
He rubs his neck. "Flower? S-sorry, I don't understand. Anyway, I was treating you horribly at one point. I-I was angry at the fact Samantha went after you, but you were out there alone.
Without her... It might have been too late to save you so maybe she did the right thing despite the fact how much she- I- we hated you or what we thought of you. She let you run when we she did catch up to you also. Anyway, I was angry and upset and have been taking my anger out on you, further worsening your psychotic state.
I don't know what was going on inside your head, but I clearly made it worse. I was angry, but I'm glad your alive. I blamed Sam's comatose state on you... I made an example of you, yelled at you infront of everyone. It's too early to know if she will wake up yet... Merge is deadly..."
"Are you telling me that Sam suffered alone?!" I choke out.
He nods slowly. "She was struggling to breathe when we found her. What followed was so much worse... A part of me wished you had stayed with her, but your mind was elsewhere and you didn't know what you were doing or what was happening."
I clutch my hair between my fingers, crying. "Hey, hey, let go, let go1 I-I don't want you to hurt yourself! Maybe I s-shouldn't have t-told you any of this... You might not have been ready. Owen won't be happy with me."
"He won't find out if I don't tell him, Ricky" I respond. "Thank you." He says, wiping a tear.
"I'm glad you were honest with me..." I tell him.
"Anyway, look, I can't hang around here much longer. I have to go on duty, I'm sorry." He says, standing up and heading to the door. "We've been taking advantage of your already vulnerable state from the start, Valerie when you and your friends ended up here. What happens here on out might not be pleasant for you, Valerie, but I want you to know I'm on your side, okay? If you really need anything or any help, just talk to me if we see eachother... But I'm not looking to lose my job though."
And then he leaves pretty much, I leap out of bed, grabbing his arm before he can close the door and I look up to him with pleading eyes that he can't ignore.
"Please don't leave me. I need help, I need answers!"
He kneels down, placing his hands on the sides of my shoulders. "You are one heck of a person, Valerie! A real survivor. You know that? Five minutes and then I will bring you back and you finish sleeping, eat your breakfast too." He says gently taking my hand as we creep through the corridor.
---
I and Ricky are down low, listening into Sebastian, Rain & Owen talking. I gulp, seeing Shelby in the corner of the room playing with Declan...
I knew it was too good to be true! No wonder Sebastian didn't believe me as she isn't missing in this outcome! He thought I had lost it which I have now apparently... This makes me feel sad for her that she's here living a life that's... Wait... how do I even know that her life is unbearable... goddammit. I don't- I don't know anything about her!
What of it's not?! Wait... Where's Harriet? Does she escape in both outcomes?
"Where's Harriet?" I whisper slowly to Ricky. "Girl ran away, don't know why. One of the members from the other side of town where people are banished too for non-compliance, but not bad enough to be jailed have vanished too..." He says turning back to spy on the leaders with me. I clutch my head, shaking it and I feel his hand grip my shoulder, squeezing it a bit to help ground me back in reality.
"I really think we should send Valerie and her friends home. This isn't even their world, they're not supposed to be in this timeline! And her health at this point in my opinion is at risk. Medical and psychological. Valerie is clearly not well enough or cut out for this community much like Dana and even Scout wasn't. When they all first arrived here, it was clear she was sick from weeks trapped in the hallway of star-gates, Including her friends.
Let's just send them home and they can get her some healthcare. Right now, we have her under observation and do you know who is going to be the one looking after her? Me! That's who. I can try and get her well, but if we send her back out to be a pawn for fun again, she will slip back into a stressful state of mind. It won't be good for her in the long run!
You saw what she did last night, well tried too, Sebastian and she also went off into the frozen wasteland on her own and she doesn't even realize she did! She doesn't understand me when I told her about it." Owen yells.
"Owen, we don't ever send pawns home and remember the agreement we have going right now. We let her go, we'll be screwing ourselves over." Hadrian grumbles.
"And staying here will kill her like it did to Dana. Look, I think we should send her and Her friends home. It would save us pain, time and effort. Julius is using us as pawns and we'll just come back next time. You and Rain are somewhat untouchable and you love me, Harriet and Rain to much to let us go and if neither of you want to agree to my plan, then I will take care of Valerie here in our home, sparing no expensive on the resources it uses, get her well enough to walk and I will take her and her friends back to where they belong myself."
Before I know it, they're all arguing and Shelby is getting very upset in the corner. "Oh, look what you have done, Owen! You've upset your sister!" Sebastian yells and I see Rain gently help Shelby to her feet, Declan in her arms.
"Shelby, baby, why don't you go to your room and rest? I will come see you in a bit, okay?" Rain urges slowly and she nods, carrying Declan away without so much as word.
"Bye, daughter!" I hear Sebastian call out and he gives a half hearted, gentle, 'bye' to her.
I feel Ricky grip my arm, pulling me back to hide from Shelby behind the door as she leaves the room. I sware Declan is looking at me and Ricky. He knows, but why isn't he sorting out any mess? Something seems off this time... It's like his scared of standing up or something.
Ricky moves a finger to his lips and Declan stays quiet. "Come on, we've seen enough." He says, lifting me up carefully to carry me back to my room.
As we hurry back to the room I came from, I notice another room with a bed and the person in it is, sitting at the edge of the bed clutching their head, tears falling. "S-Sam...!" I choke out and Ricky sees this, but is more concerned for me and keeps running before she can notice us... She's awake! And he looks deeply saddened.
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