I’m scared to lose my friends. Maybe I’m a toxic person. Maybe I’m a manipulator. I don’t know who I am myself, I never did. I need time to think, I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel so lost, I feel so hurt, maybe it’s my panic attacks again. Agh, I don’t know! I’m scared to not know! I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m scared…I’m scared. I’m really scared, this is a nightmare I can’t escape, what will I do? Where will I go? How will I do it? Questions unanswered that make me so worried. I want to cry, but I have nobody to go to. Nobody to trust, nobody to cry to, nobody. What if…nobody thinks I’m a good person? What if I’m NOT a good person? What if my suspicions are correct? What am I gonna do with myself? But this is all I’ve ever known…my whole life. It’s all my family has ever taught me, I guess I didn’t grow up in the best family or environment. I’m scared to hear people’s opinions whether it’s good or bad, I’m terrified that people view me as a weak, scared, tiny person who is easy to pick on. Those words keep tormenting me…”this is why your brother died.” I don’t want to be reminded of that unfortunate day, it’s scary, life is scary. “Why aren’t you more like Daniel?” What if they find out what Daniel did to me? “You are such a lazy person.” I know, stop rubbing it in my face when you know it makes me feel worse about myself. “Just stop being yourself.” I don’t know who that is yet…I’m still trying to figure myself out…”You’re so annoying.” Ha! I know…I really am, huh?…
”I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink, but now I’m insecure and I care what people think.”215Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNAGlhJ5sL
