Episode 2 Continued - Murder on Elle Street
"Sebastian, you're already home?" the maid, Scarlet said.
I glanced over at her in boredom. "Yes, I had a few things to do."
"But... I thought master told you to go find that stuff! For the disappearances and such, and you had to interview people and create a suspect list!"
"I did," I replied, smiling a little as I pulled a small piece of paper out from my pocket. "It's all right here."
She stared at the list for a moment. "You did all of that? You've been gone for two minutes! Literally!"
I smiled and stuffed the list back in my pocket. "You have to be quick if you want to be a Phantomhive butler, Scarlet. Now, is master still asleep?"
She nodded. "Yes, she is."
I just gazed down at her, lashes lowering. "You didn't mix bleach and ammonia again, did you?"
She shook her head.
"Then why is your brown hair blonde?" I demanded.
She puffed a cheek in annoyance. "Well... I might've been grabbing some bleach off the cabinet and fell. And it spilled on me."
I just sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Honestly, how do you all manage this? Burning the kitchen down, cooking eggs in the sink. You all are a bunch of idiots."
She just squeezed her hands shut tightly. "We'll work harder! We'll help the master! Make her proud!"
"Yeah!" someone said from the end of the hallway. "And we weren't totally eavesdropping or anything!"
My lashes lowered. "Maddox, Carter, Cammie, come out from the corner."
Three forms slid out from behind the end of the hallway, and they all looked a little shy.
"We had to, sir!" Cammie stated, pointing at me. "Scarlet said you left, so we'd been timing you!"
"Timing me?" I echoed. "Don't you have better things to do?"
"We finished all are chores, you see!" Carter replied, nodding quickly. "You told me to mop the kitchen, Max to make a cake for master's breakfast, and you told Cammie to clean the bedsheets!"
"And you did all that?" I inquired.
"Yes, sir, we did!" Cammie replied, saluting to me. "You can take a look and see!"
Minutes later, we were at the kitchen.
The pearly-white floors were covered in a black grease that reeked of burnt oil, the tiles all disjoined and deformed.
I glanced down at Carter in boredom as he smiled brightly, beaming.
"You call this mopping the kitchen?" I questioned. "What did you use, asphalt?"
"No, sir!" he said to me, scratching his head. "I accidently put bleach in the mop bucket and the floors weren't their normal color, you see! So... I used the burnt crust from the oven in the water, and I hoped it would bring the color back. I didn't realize it would be so black..." he chuckled nervously, "I thought it looks nice black, though. Don't you think?"
"No, it looks horrific." I sighed and closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. "What is with you guys and loving bleach so much?"
I then glanced over at Maddox. "And the cake?"
He chuckled nervously and pointed to the end of the kitchen, and I glanced over, finding a large, cylindrical block completely blackened and hardened like brick. I could tell if I knocked on it, it would be hollow... or just crumble to ashes.
"What is that supposed to be?" I asked him. "I told you to follow the recipe."
"Well... I did, yes!" He nodded quickly before looking a bit timid. "But, uh... I just wanted to make it my own, you see. So I added my own ingredients and baked it for twelve hours."
"Twelve hours?" I questioned, closing my eyes tightly. "When did you start? At two in the morning?"
"Indeed, sir... I just thought that twelve hours would bake the chili out of the cake!"
"You put... chili in the cake?" I questioned.
"Hey, it needed spice or else it would be too sweet!" he argued.
Oh, my lord... how dumb can they possibly be?
"I did my job too, Sebastian!" Cammie replied, waving toward me.
"Oh, no...."
And now we were in the laundry room.
"You shrunk... all the sheets?" I questioned, running my fingers through my hair. "How do you even manage this?"
"It wasn't on purpose!" she argued. "I thought they looked nice! They'd go well with master's doll set, no?"
I gave her a look. "How can you be this stupid?"
Carter scratched the back of his head, chuckling. "Well... I guess it takes a lot of talent. You know... because all of us have the same talent of stupidity."
"Clearly," I answered, rolling my eyes, "and why do all the red sheets have white splotches on them?"
"Well... you see, Sebastian..." Scarlet said, spacing out as if she was reliving the moment, "I came in here to get some bleach for cleaning the main bathroom, and Cammie was doing the sheets! Since the bleach was up so high, I got a ladder to get it. I didn't know that I set the ladder on the red sheets! And moments later, Cammie pulled on the sheet to get it in the wash, and I toppled over and spilled the bleach all over me and the sheets."
"That's why her hair's blonde, yes, it is!" Cammie answered.
I sighed and closed my eyes tightly. "Must I do everything myself?" I gazed up and pushed my sleeves up. "Whatever. Give me ten minutes, tops."
*****
"Oh, Sebastian! The kitchen floors are so shiny and sparkling!" Carter said, eyes widened with fascination. "And there's no stains anywhere!"
"And this cake looks absolutely delicious!" Maddox replied. "How did you make it so fast?"
"And you bought new red sheets in the same style!" Cammie and Scarlet replied, shifting side-to-side in amazement. "By only leaving the mansion for two minutes!"
I closed my pocket-watch, sighing as I gazed up at them. "See? As I said, ten minutes."
"Sebastian, you're truly amazing!" Scarlet said, cheeks glowing a bright red. "How can we be much more like you?"
I just gave her a look.
"I know how!" Carter replied then, making all of us look to him. "We have to work harder! Be more like him! Improvise and make the master happy!"
"Yeah!" Maddox said, raising his fist in victory. "We'll try our hardest and make master happy! Yes, we'll do our own things and make everything beautiful, just you see!"
My brows drew together. "Please, don't."
"It's okay, Sebastian," Scarlet said, pushing me out from the kitchen. "We'll do everything else. Just go relax and leave it to us, yes?"
Before I could respond, the door slammed shut behind me.
I sighed then, shaking my head. "Well... something tells me I'll be cleaning a bigger mess than usual tonight."
I then gazed down at my pocket watch, clicking it open and checking the time, and I gazed up. "Well... I guess it's time to wake master up."
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